The History Channel

Good god, History Channel, what happened to you?

You used to produce interesting shows about the latest, coolest discoveries in archeology, and historical documentaries. You used to be in awe of what humanity is capable of. Now, you give all credit to the aliens.

First off, humanity is very intelligent. Look at what we have accomplished in the past 500 years. Why wouldn't we be capable of creating fantastic sculptures and buildings of enormous size 7000 years ago? It's not as though our current innovative nature and intelligence comes from nowhere.

Second, how did you get away with putting together such lousy lines of reasoning? Perfect circles with stones lined up with the solstices and equinoxes sounds like an ancient calendar. I'll buy that. But that if you squint, three of them kinda look like a right triangle, which means they somehow knew trigonometry is an insane leap. That they could possibly could have known trigonometry because aliens taught them, is even insaner.

Third, yes, aliens could exist. Don't blame all religion on them. We're plenty good at inventing it ourselves. Look at any of the insane cults. Why is it so hard to believe that our ancestors also just wanted to get laid?

Fourth, weird shit happens. You can't say that all of it is because of aliens. It's as logical as blaming it on gods.

Quit dressing up this crappy conspiracy theory bullshit as science.



Thank you.

It makes me long for the days my boys and I used to refer to it as 'The Hitler Channel' because all they ever ran was documentaries about WW II. But honestly, I'd sooner watch several hundred documentaries about Nazi's than the whole stupid 'aliens are responsible for everything marvelous ever discovered' crap. Give humanity a break, huh? I'm pretty sure the Egyptians built the pyramids all on their own, with no help from space men.

Also, it's a disturbing example of ethnocentrism; the belief that non-white cultures couldn't have conceivably possessed knowledge of complex mathematics or physics of astronomy. Obviously, they had to learn it from space aliens, because everyone knows only white people are smart enough to understand that kind of stuff.

Didn't you know? All of history has been a war between aliens and time-traveling Nazis.

I think it's only the one show that does that but I haven't watched that channel since Rodeo became nothing but re-runs, so I might just be behind in the times.

I do agree with you though. A lot of the documentaries were actually interesting to watch whenever I actually had the time to watch them but now... you just stare blankly at the screen for a few seconds before going to another channel. (It's doesn't help that the narrators sound as boring as fuck, either...)

That's weird, usually when I turn it on it's some bullshit about hell, not aliens.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

That's weird, usually when I turn it on it's some bullshit about hell, not aliens.

They also do a lot of shows about the 'paranormal." You probably stumbled across one of those before they started airing the next 'Space Aliens are responsible for life on Earth' documentary. From interesting, thoughtful coverage of important historical events from all over the world to aliens, ghosts, demons and hell. Lo, how the mighty have fallen.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

That's weird, usually when I turn it on it's some bullshit about hell, not aliens.

I usually see stuff about pawnbrokers, lumberjacks, or truckers.

KJM wrote:

Didn't you know? All of history has been a war between aliens and time-traveling Nazis.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

That's weird, usually when I turn it on it's some bullshit about hell, not aliens.

Drabbler wrote:

I usually see stuff about pawnbrokers, lumberjacks, or truckers.

That's it. Someone combine all these things and write something awesome then try to sell it to the History channel.

Drabbler wrote:

Mr.Doobie wrote:

That's weird, usually when I turn it on it's some bullshit about hell, not aliens.

I usually see stuff about pawnbrokers, lumberjacks, or truckers.

Are you sure you're not on the Discovery Channel by mistake? Because their programming has gone downhill as well. The only Discovery shows I watch anymore are Mythbusters and Deadliest Catch. I actually MISS 'How it's Made,' and I'm still convinced the target audience for it was kids in grade school. But you actually learned something by watching it.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Drabbler wrote:

I usually see stuff about pawnbrokers, lumberjacks, or truckers.

Are you sure you're not on the Discovery Channel by mistake?

No, Pawn Stars, Ax Men, and Ice Road Truckers are all History shows.

Drabbler wrote:

Rabid Badger wrote:

Drabbler wrote:

I usually see stuff about pawnbrokers, lumberjacks, or truckers.

Are you sure you're not on the Discovery Channel by mistake?

No, Pawn Stars, Ax Men, and Ice Road Truckers are all History shows.

My mistake. I don't watch that much TV, and after a while, all the shows just kind've blur together. I was probably mistaking Ice Road Truckers for Swamp Loggers.

I_Lam_Edhellen wrote:

Good god, History Channel, what happened to you?

They decided to quit living in the past and instead reach for the stars.

Aggie wrote:

I_Lam_Edhellen wrote:

Good god, History Channel, what happened to you?

They decided to quit living in the past and instead reach for the stars.

And hilarity ensued.

The UK's version of the History Channel is called Yesterday and they're still stuck on the Nazis.

I mean, the Nazis were evil. We get it. Move on.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Drabbler wrote:

Mr.Doobie wrote:

That's weird, usually when I turn it on it's some bullshit about hell, not aliens.

I usually see stuff about pawnbrokers, lumberjacks, or truckers.

Are you sure you're not on the Discovery Channel by mistake? Because their programming has gone downhill as well.

NO WAI, Fatal Attractions is brill. Last week: An ex-marine dies of infection after being bitten by one of his uncaged monitor lizards, who then eat him. This week: Pet chimps who clawed off their owners' faces. Next week: A woman is mauled and eaten by her malnourished tiger.

Lexin wrote:

The UK's version of the History Channel is called Yesterday and they're still stuck on the Nazis.

I mean, the Nazis were evil. We get it. Move on.

When the ex and I were still married, that was virtually all he ever watched (it's how my sons and I came to nickname it 'The Hitler Channel'). I always wondered how many times one could watch, say, the Battle of the Bulge or the storming of Normandy before you got tired of it. In the case of the ex, the answer was apparently 'Never.'

I will admit they did occasionally throw in a documentary about WW I and, around July 4th, you could generally count on an entire day of re-enactments of the great battles of the Revolutionary War. But beyond that, you'd have thought the last War the US fought in was Korea.

Cyberwulf wrote:

NO WAI, Fatal Attractions is brill. Last week: An ex-marine dies of infection after being bitten by one of his uncaged monitor lizards, who then eat him. This week: Pet chimps who clawed off their owners' faces. Next week: A woman is mauled and eaten by her malnourished tiger.

This reminds me disturbingly of when I was in the hospital for my gall bladder surgery and made the mistake of watching The Animal Channel's "Extreme Rescues' marathon. Had nightmares related to that for a good week.

Rabby wrote:

It makes me long for the days my boys and I used to refer to it as 'The Hitler Channel' because all they ever ran was documentaries about WW II.

To be fair, they could probably run a week's worth of shows covering everything involved in WWII, not repeat themselves, and still not cover everything.

Rabby wrote:

Also, it's a disturbing example of ethnocentrism; the belief that non-white cultures couldn't have conceivably possessed knowledge of complex mathematics or physics of astronomy.

I have a question, when was the last time you disagreed with someone where you didn't accuse them of racism or "homophobia" right off the bat?

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

Rabby wrote:

Also, it's a disturbing example of ethnocentrism; the belief that non-white cultures couldn't have conceivably possessed knowledge of complex mathematics or physics of astronomy.

I have a question, when was the last time you disagreed with someone where you didn't accuse them of racism or "homophobia" right off the bat?

To be fair though, it reeks of ethnocentrism to me too.

Another interpretation is that these people genuinely think "nobody who ever lived before I was born could possibly have been as smart as me, because I know how to use an iPod and that automatically makes me awesome".

Azzy wrote:

Another interpretation is that these people genuinely think "nobody who ever lived before I was born could possibly have been as smart as me, because I know how to use an iPod and that automatically makes me awesome".

That seems the more likely explanation. As we built most of our knowledge on what knowledge we inherited from past generations, and we only recently figured some of this shit out.

Rabid Badger wrote:

When the ex and I were still married, that was virtually all he ever watched (it's how my sons and I came to nickname it 'The Hitler Channel').

Believe you me, that's a common nickname.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Cyberwulf wrote:

NO WAI, Fatal Attractions is brill. Last week: An ex-marine dies of infection after being bitten by one of his uncaged monitor lizards, who then eat him. This week: Pet chimps who clawed off their owners' faces. Next week: A woman is mauled and eaten by her malnourished tiger.

This reminds me disturbingly of when I was in the hospital for my gall bladder surgery and made the mistake of watching The Animal Channel's "Extreme Rescues' marathon. Had nightmares related to that for a good week.

The best one was the one about the little old lady who lived in a log cabin in Colorado and fed the bears from her fucking window. Because nothing bad could ever come of that.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

Azzy wrote:

Another interpretation is that these people genuinely think "nobody who ever lived before I was born could possibly have been as smart as me, because I know how to use an iPod and that automatically makes me awesome".

That seems the more likely explanation. As we built most of our knowledge on what knowledge we inherited from past generations, and we only recently figured some of this shit out.

Well, some of the older societies had figured out how to do things that our scientists are just now starting to puzzle out, or aren't even close to understanding. And they had arguably less information and resources at their disposal. A lot of things were lost from one generation to another. So I guess that makes us the dumbasses.

There was so much knowledge and development that was lost -it's called the DARK AGES for a reason- and had to be re-gained afterwards, I'm willing to believe they knew a lot of stuff that would surprise us.

Cyberwulf wrote:

The best one was the one about the little old lady who lived in a log cabin in Colorado and fed the bears from her fucking window. Because nothing bad could ever come of that.

I foresee a Darwin Award in this woman's future.