Rev. Pat Robertson Opens Mouth, Inserts Foot

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried, folks.

Snow God's Way of Punishing Gays

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Rev. Pat Robertson sparked controversy in today's broadcast of his 700 Club program when he claimed that God created the blizzard currently battering the Northeast "to punish Americans who were planning to drive to do something gay."

Explaining his theory, Rev. Robertson said, "Because of the bad road conditions the Almighty has made, any gay activities that people were planning on doing will have to be postponed by a day or two."

It didn't work, BTW-Morgan's boyfriend was still able to come over for Christmas dinner and open presents.

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Additionally, he argued, God shut down major airports in the New York area "so that people who were hoping to fly to do something of a gay nature would have to take a train or a bus, so it might be days before the gay thing they were going to do could occur."

What's this whole 'gay thing' business. Does he mean sex? Reading a copy of Man2man? Going to a drag show? I'd assumed gay people being with their families and friends on Christmas Eve opening presents and celebrating was a human thing, not a 'gay thing.'

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As for the millions of straight people in New York City who were also grounded by the bad weather, the televangelist said, "I think God probably wonders, if these people are really straight, then what are they doing in New York?"

And it's official-everyone in New York is gay. as is everyone who's passed through it. I imagine that's going to come as quite a surprise to some people, but I suppose they'll just have to get used to it.

But, I find myself asking-what about all the straight (and possibly Christian) people who were prevented from traveling by the snow? What about the agnostics and atheists? What about people who don't celebrate Christmas at all, but some version of the Winter Solstice?

I'm starting to think Rev. Robertson has been hanging out in Fred Phelp's closet.

Quote :

"to punish Americans who were planning to drive to do something gay."

Clearly he did not watch Glee's Christmas rendition of Baby It's Cold Outside. :B

If anything, fanfic has taught us that being snowed in can turn people gay.

Y'know, for someone so rabidly anti-gay, he sure does seem to be thinking about homosexual activity a lot...

This is usually the way idiot fundies operate. Raining? It's the gays fault. Snowing? It's the atheist's fault. I get out of bed and step on something and hurt my foot? [insert something I don't like HERE]'s fault.

Sheba wrote:

Y'know, for someone so rabidly anti-gay, he sure does seem to be thinking about homosexual activity a lot...

i.e. the Fred Phelps reference. You simply don't wank that hard about something unless it makes you terribly nervous. So nervous that, apparently, it's all you can think about it.

That name rings a bell...

Oh yeah! He's the guy who said that the Haiti earthquake was the fault of Haitians having a 'Pact with the devil'.

And that God 'allowed' the 9/11 attacks to happen because of 'Moral decay'. Specifically "the ACLU, abortionists, feminists and gays."

Oh, and abortionists were also the cause of Hurricane Katrina.


(Christ, Wikipedia even has a specific page, not just a section on his page, but a page all of itself, dedicated to his ranting)


Perhaps we should hold a competition ready for the next natural disaster and see if we can pre-empt who this shitrag wil blame it on?

Welp, let's see what I got in my reaction gif folder for this...

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

That'll do.

Does anyone even pay attention to this idiot (Pat Robertson, that is) anymore?

Now all I can think about are all the couples who decided to stay indoors because of the snow. "Oh, the weather's wretched. Call your mother and tell her we're not coming to dinner and then lube up!"

Good grief. People like this are so stupid.

Does he forget the story told in the bible? God said that if what's-his-name could find ONE GOOD MAN in the wicked city, he would not smite it. So in all of New York, and many other cities incapacitated by the snow, there was NOT ONE GOOD PERSON who was worth allowing to see family or friends outside of their home town?

That, or even ONE SINGLE gay man or woman in the city warrants punishment for every man, woman and child.

All this does is show that God is petty, cruel, spiteful and has about as much social empathy for his creations as a brick has for a heap of cement.

Also, that priests are chosen by their ability to judge people like acorns from the tree.

"The snow is falling! The snow is falling! I bet it's because of gay people!"

Aggie wrote:

Does anyone even pay attention to this idiot (Pat Robertson, that is) anymore?

Not really. The only reason he is even on TV anymore is that he used to own the channel it is on (which is now ABC Family), and ABC can't dump him over the side without canceling all the agreements putting ABC Family on cable and satellite packages. They basically act like he doesn't exist, and make it absolutely clear that nothing he says or does reflects the views of the network.

Azzandra wrote:

Now all I can think about are all the couples who decided to stay indoors because of the snow. "Oh, the weather's wretched. Call your mother and tell her we're not coming to dinner and then lube up!"

Does it count if you're single? 'Cause I spent about an hour or three during the snowpocalypse huddled up with some nice warm gay porn. Maybe if the snow had caused a power outage, he'd have more of a point...

Quote :

As for the millions of straight people in New York City who were also grounded by the bad weather, the televangelist said, "I think God probably wonders, if these people are really straight, then what are they doing in New York?"

He has to be a troll. Has to be.

Hmm...wouldn't the heavy snow make it more likely that gay sex would occur? Because, ya know, it's cold and it's hard to get anyplace and there's nothing better to do than fuck? You know, the same thing that causes an uptick in births amongst straight women nine months after the storm?

People pay attention to him for the same reason they pay attention to Phelps: He's somebody they can get mad at. Well, that and, every once in a long while, he'll say something they like so much that they'll say, "See, even Pat Robertson thinks pot should be legal!" And then the next one of these statements comes out, and the status quo returns.


Let's be frank here. What happened to New York City this weekend wasn't a smiting. Unless you were trying to fly in or out, it doesn't even rise past the level of an inconvenience. And the reason it extended later into the week was that the people paid to know what to do seemed to forget what to do. Oh, and the ones inconvenienced most were the ones he apparently forgot existed, those of us in the outer boroughs. [The parts of the city he had in mind saying that weren't the ones waiting until Thursday to see a plow.]

Rabid Badger wrote:

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried, folks.

Sure you could.

All kidding aside, I have to agree that Rev. Robertson has definitely raised the bar on "crazy" to stratospheric levels this time. Of all the ridiculous ideas I've heard in the last twelve months, this has to rank at least in the top five.

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

Does he forget the story told in the bible? God said that if what's-his-name could find ONE GOOD MAN in the wicked city, he would not smite it. So in all of New York, and many other cities incapacitated by the snow, there was NOT ONE GOOD PERSON who was worth allowing to see family or friends outside of their home town?

That, or even ONE SINGLE gay man or woman in the city warrants punishment for every man, woman and child.

All this does is show that God is petty, cruel, spiteful and has about as much social empathy for his creations as a brick has for a heap of cement.

Also, that priests are chosen by their ability to judge people like acorns from the tree.

"The snow is falling! The snow is falling! I bet it's because of gay people!"

Evangelicals in general aren't that big on Jonah. Here's a good blog post explaining what I mean by that.

Uh, guys, read the last part of the story about what the National Weather Service said. I'm pretty sure this is about as true as your average Onion story. I couldn't find anything about this on Youtube (no clips of the purported show, which I'm sure there would be if Pat Robertson had said this) or anything else on the 'Net that didn't reference this article.

Malganis wrote:

Uh, guys, read the last part of the story about what the National Weather Service said. I'm pretty sure this is about as true as your average Onion story. I couldn't find anything about this on Youtube (no clips of the purported show, which I'm sure there would be if Pat Robertson had said this) or anything else on the 'Net that didn't reference this article.

Hay, guys... GUYS!! Right at the top of the article:

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Andy Borowitz
Comedian and creator of BorowitzReport.com

Huh... I guess we got Poe'd!

Nihilist wrote:

Don we now our gay apparel.

Oh stop it, you

If we got Poe'd, so did the Huffington Post. Because that's where the article came from.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Nihilist wrote:

Don we now our gay apparel.

Oh stop it, you

If we got Poe'd, so did the Huffington Post. Because that's where the article came from.

I noticed it's in the Comedy section of HuffPost.

This is what I get for not clicking the link. Dangit.

Oh well. No snow here, but I have spent a lot of time having lesbian sex on Twitter. does that count as a 'gay thing'?

karmyn31 wrote:

Oh well. No snow here, but I have spent a lot of time having lesbian sex on Twitter. does that count as a 'gay thing'?

Do you seriously have to ask if lesbian sex counts as a 'gay thing'?

Azzandra wrote:

karmyn31 wrote:

Oh well. No snow here, but I have spent a lot of time having lesbian sex on Twitter. does that count as a 'gay thing'?

Do you seriously have to ask if lesbian sex counts as a 'gay thing'?

Well, it's not gay if your balls don't touch. And I assume lesbians don't have balls, so I guess lesbian sex isn't gay after all!