Attraction to a Pokemon: A guide on what not to do (Seriously NSFW)

ellecue wrote:

Quote :

"Moooree," she growled through clenched teeth, thick streams of saliva going down her cheeks, "FUCK ME HARDER YOU PEACE OF SHIT."

Is she upside down and drooling, or is he constantly spitting on her face? I see no other way this could happen.

This outs the author as a hentai watcher. Usually when a woman is portrayed as a whore in hentai, she drools uncontrollably like a salivating dog.

Holy fuck. No amount of Internets can prepare you for something like this. I've seen Pokeporn before, but this is just.. wow. I'm going to go drink heavily now.

Welcome to Why God Why. I think there's a little bleach left in the janitor's closet. Just move the coat rack out of the Muffled Weeping Corner.

Wait, there's still bleach left? I though I took the last of it...

There is no bleach strong enough to cleanse internet taint. (Heh, taint)

This is only slightly worse than the Arnold Schwarzenegger and Hulk Hogan fanfics my friend used to write. The content was similar to this fic, but often included such lovable characters as Dick Cheney and the pope.

technetium wrote:

There is no bleach strong enough to cleanse internet taint. (Heh, taint)

This is only slightly worse than the Arnold Schwarzenegger and Hulk Hogan fanfics my friend used to write. The content was similar to this fic, but often included such lovable characters as Dick Cheney and the pope.

Please say that your friend wasn't serious. If he was then I'd reccomend getting new friends.

That_Swedish_Guy wrote:

technetium wrote:

There is no bleach strong enough to cleanse internet taint. (Heh, taint)

This is only slightly worse than the Arnold Schwarzenegger and Hulk Hogan fanfics my friend used to write. The content was similar to this fic, but often included such lovable characters as Dick Cheney and the pope.

Please say that your friend wasn't serious. If he was then I'd reccomend getting new friends.

He wasn't. He intentionally wrote the worst things he could. Like Arnold raping the pope on his deathbed.

technetium wrote:

That_Swedish_Guy wrote:

technetium wrote:

There is no bleach strong enough to cleanse internet taint. (Heh, taint)

This is only slightly worse than the Arnold Schwarzenegger and Hulk Hogan fanfics my friend used to write. The content was similar to this fic, but often included such lovable characters as Dick Cheney and the pope.

Please say that your friend wasn't serious. If he was then I'd reccomend getting new friends.

He wasn't. He intentionally wrote the worst things he could. Like Arnold raping the pope on his deathbed.

I. The. What. WHAT.

I didn't even watch Pokémon and HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Clearly I still have much to learn in the realms of badfic.

Lord and Lady, help us all.

Oh. My. God.

This is the most disgusting thing I have ever read. The thing that got me most was the death scene... then he (she?) decides to screw with Misty at the end

Is there any brain bleach left?

4shadowedice4 wrote:

Oh. My. God.

This is the most disgusting thing I have ever read. The thing that got me most was the death scene... then he (she?) decides to screw with Misty at the end

Is there any brain bleach left?

There's worse. Much worse.

Fun Fact: This was my first fanfic. It was on the old ED page for Gardevoir. Yeah, fuck you ED.

I laughed.

Then I cried.

Then I laughed some more.

Then I locked myself in a room with no computer so I could never read something like this again. For my own safety and sanity.

technetium wrote:

He wasn't. He intentionally wrote the worst things he could. Like Arnold raping the pope on his deathbed.

I laughed at that. I wondered why for a moment, then I remembered I'm insane.

Niven wrote:

Then I locked myself in a room with no computer so I could never read something like this again. For my own safety and sanity.

And you're posting this how?

Telepathy.

What possesses people to write crap like this? Do they just wake up one morning and go, "You know, I feel like writing a fucked up piece of shit fan fic that will make people want to gouge their eyes out."?

kelley28 wrote:

What possesses people to write crap like this? Do they just wake up one morning and go, "You know, I feel like writing a fucked up piece of shit fan fic that will make people want to gouge their eyes out."?

That's pretty much how my brother ended up writing a Human Centipede-inspired FernGully fic. So I would guess yes.

EileenK98 wrote:

Welcome to Why God Why. I think there's a little bleach left in the janitor's closet.

And when that runs out I've got a fresh supply of bleach out back ready to be unpacked.

Necro's, getting necro'd.

You know what the most horrifying part of it all is?

Not the author; he [i]KNOWS[/i] how bad it is, publicly denounces it, in fact, with much scathing snark. It's the fact that readers out there wouldn't leave him alone until he did write it.

Not bad enough that people think up this kind of stuff. But to browbeat a writer until he takes putrid notions like that and fleshes them out because [i]THE READER CAN'T IMAGINE IT FOR HIMSELF??[/i]

Please. Such things are best kept in the privacy of one's skull. The writer should have published the names of those people who hounded him for this. I want to publicly humiliate them.

Fun story: I had a girl in my room, and showed her this fic because she wasn't offended enough by anything else I'd showed her. End result: she jumped me and I got head out of it. I'm still not sure whether I should be happy about that.

Depends. Were you wearing a Pokemon fursuit?

Dmonick1 wrote:

Fun story: I had a girl in my room, and showed her this fic because she wasn't offended enough by anything else I'd showed her. End result: she jumped me and I got head out of it. I'm still not sure whether I should be happy about that.

True story.

Ah, it takes all sorts of people to make up this internet of ours. All sorts of horrid people that I never ever want to meet in real life, and who should probably seek serious psychiatric care. Like the author of this story.

Quote :

He slid up next to her. "How does it look, nurse?" he asked, putting a hand on her shoulder.
"Not very good, I'm afraid the rejuvenation chamber won't be enough for--"
"No, not the pokemon. Your cunt."

Wait, this guy is asking this lady what her cunt looks like? Out of nowhere? I know, it might not seem so out of nowhere if I read the whole fic, but due to these excepts, I doubt I could stomach it.

I love how the Nurse Joy sex scene sounds like something straight out of an everyday, cliched porno. It provides a nice contrast to that WTF Gardevoir rape scene. Just change the subject, that'll get them to forget that Pokemon covered in blood and shit that's currently dying over in the next room.