NWS: Pikachu is GOD!! (Pokemon crapfic)

Adam and Eve: The True Story by Sweetdeily

This is an older fic. I'm not sure if we had it before. If so, I'll ask that this be moved to golden oldies. It seems that Sweetdeily had the idea of rewriting the book of Genesis from the bible, only using Pokemon characters. Fortunately, this author has improved... but not by much.

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Disclaimer: I DON’T OWN POKEMON! *Sobs and melts* what a world, oh what a world…

What do you expect from a world that elected George W. Bush president twice?

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Satoshi = Adam

Shigeru = Satan.

Misty (since I don’t know her Japanese name) = Eve.

Snake = Ekans.

God = Pikachu.

Critics = whoever you really want to see zapped. ~.^

I guess this makes you a critic. Even though there may not have been a Wikipedia when this was wirtten, there were sites that could have told this author Misty's Japanese name was Kasumi.

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(In the beginning, that is, after the big bang, the genetic gene pool’s manifestation, the formation of the planets, the formation of living organisms and one or two other minor details, there was God. God was the first creature to ever exist ((not including dinosaurs, algae, plants, and animals)) and He was all-powerful.

So the dinosaurs made god?

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Well, as the story goes, God got bored one day… moreso it was the first day ((show’s how good an attention span he had ne?)) and decided to make earth.

Hmm... god has a short attention span... well, it would explain our leaders...

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(Anyway, after a while, Adam got bored all by himself, and asked God if he could have some companionship. ((As pets hadn’t been invented yet and the Dinosaurs were copyrighted, God was left with little other choice as to invent)) So God made a Woman, with shiny orange hair, and eyes like the ocean. He called her Eve. Why? Because he’d just made Dawn and the critics were never satisfied.)

*rimshot* *deathly silence*

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God: *thunder bolts the critics* Chuu! *Smiling evilly*

Critics: *fall over with smoke drifting from their hair*

Adam: Hi Eve! *Waves*

Eve: I’M NOT WEARING ANY CLOTHES! GOD! I DEMAND CLOTHING!

God: Pika, pika, pika! *Shakes head and points to bush*

Eve: You expect me to where a bush!?!

Eve: But I've already got a bush! Oh, wait, too much information...

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God: *thunder bolts hitting everywhere* Pikachu!

Adam and Eve: *whimper and hide under a tree. *

Adam: Uh-oh.

Eve: *looking annoyed* What is it this time?

Adam: We’re under God’s favourite apple tree.

Eve: Ohh… apples. *Reaches toward one*

Adam: *slaps her hand away* Don’t! If you eat one of them then God will chuck us both out of paradise!

So paradise consists of a yellow eletric mouse shooting thunderbots at everyone and everyone not getting along. I'd hate to see what s/he thinks hell is like.

It goes on and on like this. Have fun snarking the rest of it.

:wurmple:

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Author’s Notes: this particular fic was inspired by a wonderful picture I saw on a site not too long ago, and well, as inspiration often does, I was forced to write something about it. On another note, I am not Christian, but I have no problems with Christianity. I like Misty too.

I...what? I'm almost worried what the picture is. No, you didn't fucking have to write this.

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So, it took him seven days… because he stopped for lunch breaks and had trouble being creative, as there were copyrights on just about everything in those days.

Are they trying to be funny with this or is this sentence really that fucking anachronistic? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

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Eve: *giggles slightly then looks over her shoulder* Oi! Adam! Get out here! Satan is going to tempt me and I want to see you’re face.

Adam: Hii there, it's me, Face! Coming up next, I'll be making out with this here fallen angel for no reason!

Lembech wrote:

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Eve: *giggles slightly then looks over her shoulder* Oi! Adam! Get out here! Satan is going to tempt me and I want to see you’re face.

Adam: Hii there, it's me, Face! Coming up next, I'll be making out with this here fallen angel for no reason!

I'm now imagining Eve talking with a British accent. This somehow doesn't seem quit right.

quamp wrote:

Even though there may not have been a Wikipedia when this was wirtten, there were sites that could have told this author Misty's Japanese name was Kasumi.

Yes, pages like a simple search engine.