[NWS] Hermione and Ginny get into a serious argument over who can take the most massive...

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Generally speaking, linking to a story on gurochan means more blood, guts and general despair than Susan Boyle's dressing room. But, those old gory boys also have themselves a scat board for fans of pooping. Lots of pooping. You know how much shit there is in the typical thread on this here forum? Well, triple it.

Now, the author if this masterpiece is keen as Col. Mustard that the girls should be as entirely in character as possible, and I am sure you can imagine this line from Emma Watson herself:

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“Oh yeah!? Well, you should have seen the one I squeezed out last week. It was over three feet long. I had to waddle across the floor to keep it from piling up too high.” Hermione boasted with a typical, bossy demeanor

Just for the record? She's not talking about abusing tubes of that cookie dough stuff they haven't been able to sell in the UK because it's technically tile grout. Still, hasn't the author captured that typical Hermione personality?

...

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Harry couldn't help but laugh at every thing the two girls said.

You may, from this, take the assumption that this faeces fan fancies themself a comedian of the highest order. All I know is that, as a teenage boy, ol' Harry probably would be laughing at discussions of big dumps. One only needs look at this forum's own Ian to see how the mentality of a teenage boy may be applied to any topic.

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"Ohhh, that hurts..." Luna Lovegood cooed as her face became a brightly flushed red. She shifted and rocked her curvy butt side to side, trying to wiggle what was the first of many brown logs loaded up inside her butt.

There's probably a Star Trek fic out there with much the same line in Captain's Log non-humor.

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Hermione and Ginny were silent as they watched their young female companion publicly piss and shit all over her handbag

...just another typical alcohol fuelled Laddette night out in Manchester.

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The shitty spectacle went on for several minutes. Never in Harry's young life had he ever seen so much feces ejected from a human body.

In fairness, this is set prior to Sarah Palin's speeches ever being shown in England.

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Sometime during the whole fiasco Harry came into his pants. He didn't even have to touch his cock. Sperm spewed willingly from it just from seeing these girls defecate and urinate wildly.

This is what they call an author insert.

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Even though she had easily emptied a gallon of it from her butt that morning, she quickly replenished her supply as the day progressed. Her high metabolism mixed in with a quick digestive system made her a constant toilet user and by her own words, a professional pooper. It had become so common place for her, that it soon became like an addictive drug.

oh my god

I'm too scared to look at the actual fic, but...

Knorg wrote:

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The shitty spectacle went on for several minutes. Never in Harry's young life had he ever seen so much feces ejected from a human body.

In fairness, this is set prior to Sarah Palin's speeches ever being shown in England.

killed me.

A friend and I had a wager over whether the last word of the thread title would turn out to be "cock" or "shit." Somehow, winning does not make me feel better.

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In fairness, this is set prior to Sarah Palin's speeches ever being shown in England.

Thats why I say I, like every American I'm speaking with, we're ill about this fic that's been put on the Internet.

How old is this guy? "Hehehe, look I wrote the word piss! OMG I am teh rulz lol!"

*sigh*

I signed up thinking we'd at least get to see some girls taking big cocks and it would be funny...I don't want to read about girls taking big shits. Hi I'm CTK.

Cardboard Tube Knight wrote:

I signed up thinking we'd at least get to see some girls taking big cocks and it would be funny...I don't want to read about girls taking big shits. Hi I'm CTK.

Hi. You're new. That's awesome. Don't worry, most Bad-Fic we find isn't this atrocious. Knorg will promptly prove me wrong in maybe a week? Less? He does that.

I actually was a member of the old site, took an interest in fan fiction again and realized that fan fic.net is worse than ever now.

^ eh, it depends on what fandom and how deep you dig.

I was in the Harry Potter stories and it seems that the place is rife with rape, bulls fucking girls and giant testicles attacking unsuspecting bystanders.

Cardboard Tube Knight wrote:

I was in the Harry Potter stories and it seems that the place is rife with rape, bulls fucking girls and giant testicles attacking unsuspecting bystanders.

You so need to spork some of those.

I actually got them off of here, they were in the list of worst ever. Like 70% of the list is Harry Potter.

Which just goes to show that most of the sporkers here would have been pretty horrified at any ancient Greek storytelling,

"The Minotaur came about HOW? Badfic, dude, badfic!"

Well I can accept that most fan fiction is set in some crazy alternate world. Most of the time it doesn't resemble the world the person who made it set up. Everyone is gay or bi-curious, people are hyper sexual, and enemies seem to be out to jump each others bones--these seem to be a few of the common changes. While you can slip some of this in and its okay it seems that every story I find has not only these things but other stuff like no character behaving like anything resembling themselves and other wildness.

This story seems like a prime example.