Connection: A Doctor Who fic that is startlingly mediocre.

A 'Journey's End' fix-it which is staggeringly like every other JE fix-it ever written, but with a few typos that made me laugh quite hard. I'm not going to say it's worth your while to read it, because frankly, it isn't. It does have a very funny out-of-character scene with Donna's mum, Sylvia, a couple chapters in that I quite enjoyed. And the fic is pretty short. At least it's got that going for it.

Connection, a Doctor Who fic by Molto Bene, who claims to be from the UK, but I have to question if English is really her first language.

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As the doctor entered the Tardis, he knew that it would not be long before he had to do the hardest thing he had ever had to do.

Get rid of his satellite television, because the bill each month was just ghastly.

It’s nice to see the past perfect tense used correctly for once in a badfic. It may have been an accident.

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He did not know exactly when he started feeling this way towards her, but he knew as soon as he set eyes on Rose again that his
feelings for her where no longer there. Of course he loved her, but not in the way that he use to.

He did not experience that rush of goy and excitement he has, when he and Donna are laughing together or are being chased by aliens, for
that matter.

The choice was obvious to him. He knew he needed that goy in his life. Sorry, Rose, but Donna brings him more goy than you ever could.

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To him he felt torn, torn between loving the one he used to have feelings for or loving the one that makes him feel so alive, so
hot, so breathless.

To me I feel like that’s a pretty simple choice.

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Never before had he experience anything like this before, it was like each one of his hearts wanted somebody different.

In all his 900+ years, the Doctor has never before wanted two people at the same time before? Bullshit. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

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But as he stood there on Bad Wolf Bay and saw the other Doctor tell Rose that he loved her, he knew exactly where his hearts
belong and yet he knew that nothing could ever happen for she just wanted to be friends and nothing more. She had made that point straight away.

Because people must always stick to their first impressions of somebody, and are never permitted to change their mind.

Cue a word-for-word flashback of the scene in ‘Partners in Crime’ where Donna joins him on the TARDIS. In case we have no fucking idea what the author means by ‘she just wanted to be friends and nothing more. She had made that point straight away.’

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But he couldn't, he couldn't bare to tell her the truth and then having to let her go. It was easier this way, less heart brake.

Two separate homophones misused in one sentence. Brava, Miss. Brava.

Then a bunch of word-for-word dialogue from the ‘Journey’s End’ scene before the Doctor wipes Donna’s mind.

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A human would never be able to cope with a time-lords mine

On Gallifrey, they mined pure Win from the glittering mines of Awesome, in the province of Badass-ia. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

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That is all he wanted in the world to travel with Donna, to have a life with the brilliant Donna Noble. The women who had captured his heart, when he thought that nobody else could.

I can only conclude from this sentence that Donna has a clone, who is also named Donna. That certainly makes things easier when the trio are gettin’ down and dirty: only one name for him to remember as opposed to two.

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She suddenly realised what I had to do, to save her, I had to make her forget.

...And a new character has been introduced? We’ve been referring to the Doctor in third-person up to now... So who is this ‘I’? ...OH, maybe this is Donna’s eponymous clone. All right.

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'Donna, ow Donna Noble I am so sorry.’

Donna must have hit him mid-sentence, there. That is a very Donna thing for her to do.

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‘If there was any other way I would do it. But there isn't. You can't survive with a Time-lord mine.’

“Your human physiology is not adequate to mine the Win from the Awesome Mines in Badass-ia. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

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'But I need to ask you something first, before I forget you. I...I need to know something and I need to tell you something something something, Ow!'

Cue the violins for the beautiful, touching scene where they confess their secret love for each other.

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'It's just that I need to, need to know how you feel about me because... because...I love you Doctor'

Those three words were all it took for the Doctor to start speaking again. These were the words that he had always hoped to hear from her and he had thought that he would never hear them.

'I love you' the Doctor whispered to her as he brought his hands around her neck and started to kiss her lightly on the lips.
This is what he had always wanted, him and Donna, together.

Hmm, that violin sounds a bit out of tune. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

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As the Doctor and Donna continued to kiss a warm feeling began to rise in both of them.

Gonorrhoea. You guys should get tested.

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However it was not the feelings they where experiencing from their kiss. It was something more, like a link between them. The heat began to flow through both of them.

I’m telling you guys: gonorrhoea. Seriously. It’s no laughing matter.

So apparently this kiss somehow fixes her metacrisis... in a way that makes Donna into a part Time Lord. Well, I have heard stupider explanations for metacrisis fixes.

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The Doctor tightens his grip around Donna's waist.

'Come on lets get you to bed, it must have taken a lot out of you ,to have your genetics changed like that '

The Doctor wastes no time in launching his cunning plan to re-populate the Time Lord species.

Thus ends the first chapter of this shitfest charmingly romantic story.

Oh man, that was so sappy, it was like reading a chick flick.

I cannot express how much goy it brings me to know that the story is over.

FreakEgg wrote:

Oh man, that was so sappy, it was like reading a chick flick.

I cannot express how much goy it brings me to know that the story is over.

Oh, but the story is not over. That is merely the end of the first chapter. There are still three more chapters, at present. The story isn't done, though; I'm not sure if the author's going to finish it, or what.

What's with all the word for word flashbacks in this? I wonder if the author is actually watching the scenes as they write, carefully copying down whatever the characters say.

Vanilla-villa wrote:

What's with all the word for word flashbacks in this? I wonder if the author is atually watching the scenes as they write, carefully copying down whatever the characters say.

I have a feeling she is.

Can I mine for win? It would bring me lots of goy :D