The Doctor and Donna vs. the Canadian Poster People

Ohcrap. Another Doctor Who badfic. And this is...really, really...just...weird.
Oh, and it involves Hannah Montana.

Let's get started, shall we? :D

loving in a Canadian way
My brain hurts already.

Quote :

A/N Hello as you see
this is a Doctor who fan fiction.
Obv. I do not own Doctor who at all.. I just don't..

"Donna!"
The Doctor yelled while pushing, punching, kicking and smacking the TARDIS.

The Doctor had recently been prone to irrational fits of rage.

Quote :

Donna storms out with a tooth brush
hanging out of her mouth

Like a cigarette.

Quote :

"What!?"
Donna yelled with a mouth full of tooth paste. She realizes he can not
understand her so she spits out the foamy texture in to a garbage bin.
"What?!" She yells again over the sound of him beating the TARDIS.

The Doctor: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEGGGGGG

Quote :

"Where is my new
suit?" The doctor finally hit a big blue button and the TARDIS started to
move. Donna looked at him as if she was saying 'how should I know'. The Doctor
sighed "my new red one."

Doctor: I was going to dress up as Santa and drive the TARDIS around. :<

Quote :

"Oh that
one!" Donna leaned on the wall with her arms crossed. "I threw it
out."
"you-you did
what!?" The doctor raised his voice in anger and frustration.
Donna looked at her
shirt and started playing with her Thumbs "Well okay. I never flicked it
out."
"Okay then
where-" The Doctor started
"Because that is
what this dress is made from." Donna tried not to laugh at the Doctors
expression sill of anger with a lot of confusion

Donna doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would sew, really. Ever. Even if the fabric did come from an ugly suit of the Doctor’s.

Quote :

The doctor was at a
loss for words "Why-you-what-I" he then sighed and looked at her with
the same look.

Donna looked at him
and smiled, then laughed "your more of a blue, purple, brownish person
anyway"

“Bit like a bruise, really.”

Quote :

The Doctor looked
down at his Green pin strip Pj's "I have a green suit too"

Good for you, Doctor.
Also, does the Doctor even own pajamas? He doesn’t even really sleep.

Quote :

Donna laughed
"what is up with you and suits?"

They’re his entire wardrobe, darlin’.

Quote :

The Doctor grind
putting his hand through his hair "well" he started "I think
they make me look more clever."He concluded. "Ah! here we are!"

Donna opened the big
blue doors. "And where is this?"

Quote :

The Doctor frond

The Doctor keeps plants in the TARDIS control room?

Quote :

"wait till I get dressed, then I
will tell you." He slipped in to a Brown suit.

In the middle of the room? He conjured a suit, stripped down, and then got dressed?
…Okay. Whatever.

Quote :

Donna started to laugh when he came out
of of the room modeling it, "I think i look Dashing in suits." He
smiled then winked at her.
"Donna let her
hand fall from her mouth "Yes very Clever.

Donna has now officially renamed the Doctor ‘Clever’. Should I call him that for the rest of this snark y/y?

Quote :

Now where are we space-man?" she
asked with a hint of sarcasm.

Donna says everything with a hint of sarcasm.

Quote :

"Ah!" The
Doctor smiled "Canada 2009." Donna's grin went to a straight face.
"what?"
"Canada?"
Donna Spat the word. "2009?" she spat again.
The Doctor laughed
"you a have problem with Canada? Or is it the its 2009?" He laughed
again.

Lots of people tend to have this reaction about Canada. I don’t know why, I like it. D:

Quote :

Donna was discussed

She was also replying, conversing, and debating.

Quote :

"it's so now though.." she
looked at his face "why?"
"Because..
" The doctor said. "I've never been to Canada.." He ended with
shame.

SHUN THE NON-BELIEVER! SHUN.
Also, how would the Doctor have managed to never travel to Canada? He’s 904 and has a lot of time on his hands.

Quote :

"Is that it?
'I've never been to Canada'" She said mocking him.
"yes"
Donna laughed harder
"Lets go." They walked out of the TARDIS Stepping out in Canada's oh
so famous sun showers.
They took notice that
no one is reaching for cover. Then the sun came out and the rain stopped
"that was fast." She wisperd in to the Doctors ear.

Sun showers generally tend to end quickly.

Quote :

A little girl and her
mother walked by, Being Friendly

Is his name Clever or Friendly? Or is the Doctor Clever and Donna is Friendly? That must be it.

Quote :

the Doctor and Donna waved. The Little
girl Stopped.

Oh, and the little girl is Stopped. I get it.

Quote :

"Hell sir."

THE WORLD WILL END TOMORROW! ARE YOU READY? THE APOCALYPSE IS COMING!

Quote :

The Little

Again, what is her
name? Make up your damn mind.

Quote :

one said quietly. The mother looked down
and seen her child was not next to her, then she seen that she was talking to
two strangers.

"Lily!"

I don’t like that as much as Stopped. It doesn’t have the same ring to it. “Stopped” just rolls right off the tongue.

Quote :

the mother ran back after her daughter
"what did I say about talking to strangers." The mother smiled at the
doctor, reaching out her hand "Hello in Catherine, "

The mother had learned Catherine at the local language learning center, from the Catherinian ambassador. Her accent was impeccable.

Quote :

The Doctor took her and and shook it,
Donna Did the same.

Donna Did: Clever, what did I tell you about shaking people?
Clever: Sorry, Friendly Did.

Quote :

"Hello, I'm the
Doctor and this is Donna" He Smiled "She is Cute. Your
Daughter?"

Poor girl’s got one hell of a long name.
…I’m using this joke too much, aren’t I?

Quote :

Catherine smile
"yes."
"They are going
to save up mommy." Lily said.

To get a nice house, and then eventually comfortably retire!

Quote :

The Doctor and Donna
exchanged looks. "What are you talking about Lil? " Catherine said.
"Don't mind her."
Donna nudged the
Doctor "No, I mean It's okay, but." He Bent down to look Lilly in the
eyes "What do you mean save?"
"From the poster
people." Lily smiled and took her moms hand. Donna bent down as well.

NOT THE POSTER PEOPLE OHNOES.

Quote :

Donna smiled so she
would not scare the girl like the Doctor Obviously did.

I can see why Doctor Obviously would be intimidating. He scares me. D:

Quote :

"Can you tell me what the poster people
are?" Catherine held tighter to Lilys hand in anger
The mother smiled
tightly " she is just speaking gibberish."

Quote :

The Doctor put on his glasses.

For no apparent reason. They just made him look even more sexy and thoughtful.

Quote :

He started writing on
a lose piece of paper. "Now, Lily call this number if you see these
'poster people'" He said smiling. Lilly nodded.

Yes, because when random adult strangers give you their numbers it’s totally okay.

Quote :

Catherine took the
paper from the little girls hand "As I told you,It's just her
imagination..." She fake smiled and handed the paper back over to the
Doctor.

Quote :

"She wont be
calling."

“You see, I’m afraid she is wont to be calling but the phone rates are getting too expensive.”

Quote :

Donna glared at eh mothers snobbish
ways.

How silly of this woman to protect her child from odd strangers!

Quote :

Oh
how I want to smack the face off her. The Doctor flicked a look at Donna ,
as if he knew what she was thinking. He took the physic paper out and showed it
to the mother "No worries miss, As you see I'm a Doctor sent here to make
sure everything is going smoothly...Everything."

He raised his eyebrows. “Everything.” He repeated. “And I mean everything. Yes, even that.”

Quote :

The mother squinted
at the paper, then back at the Doctor again. "The-Doctor?" She read
"Is That it?" She questioned. "Just the Doctor?" He nodded.
"that's weird, well what kind of Doctor?"
Donna butted in
"we take care of Children and see that.. um.. that they are having
good...imagination.. enough for.. um..I mean that a kid should... Have.."

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] You don’t sound like a pedo at all! Keep going!

Quote :

The Doctor looked at her like she was an
idiot.

Because in this story, she is!

Quote :

"Yes..."
The Doctor Acted in "Imagination." He began glaring at Donna who
shrugged and mouthed 'I don't know!'. "Is very important to this.. um..
country.

IF SHE IS NOT IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH SHE WILL HAVE TO GO TO BOARDING SCHOOL TO IMPROVE. THE FUTURE OF CANADA DEPENDS ON THIS.

Quote :

As he concluded she shot one last stupid
look at Donna.

Who did? What?

Quote :

But Catherine seemed
to Believe it.
They managed to
insist that she let her daughter have their number. Also she gave the Doctor
her number.

But only because he’s sexy and looks good in glasses.

Quote :

Donna smiled at the
Doctor. "What?" He looked at her and put his hands into his pockets.
Donna shoved her arm
in between his. "She well fancied you Doctor." She smiled as well did
the Doctor.

-throws up-

Quote :

--------
The next day the
doctor and Donna were walking down in the mall, so Donna could spend a lot of
money on new clothes.

Why do they need to be in Canada for this?

Quote :

Her old ones where getting boring - The
reason for ruining his new suit.

Completely understandable reason for destroying other’s possessions: Yours are bland.

Quote :

deeww deeww dew
deewww do do do dooo do dooo do do do..

LOLWAT. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Quote :

The Cell phone
started to ring.

Who’s the Cell, and why do they have his phone?

Quote :

"Hello?"
The Doctor answered the phone.
"sir?" A
little voice said on the other end.
"Lily?"
"yes sir."
"What can i do
for you my dear?"

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Quote :

"you wanted to
meet the poster people?"
"Yes, why?"

Quote :

"There
here."
"Where?"

That’s what I want to know: there or here?

Quote :

"My house."
"We will be
right there." The doctor hung up the phone and started to run. Donna came
out of a store and seen him running.
Donna started after him.
"Oi! Doctor!"

“DON’T
THINK YOU’LL GET AWAY WITH DUMPING ME IN FUCKING CANADA! YOU ALREADY
TRIED RAXICORICOFALLAPATORIUS!”

Quote :

With two hands full of shopping bags
Donna was off catching up to the Doctor. When she did she asked him where they
were going.
"Lily's
house" He said.

Yeah, ‘cause they totally know where that is and all.

Quote :

He said.

Ohwait. Clever is God.

Quote :

Hello again!
did you like it?

No.

Quote :

I came up with the idea while watching silence in the library.. so.. yeah ...
(awkward)

Wow, my least favorite
episode of Season Four! :D

Quote :

I hope you like it. And I will go wright another chapter

Leave the Wright brothers
out of this, please.

Quote :

(P.S this "deeww deeww
dew deewww do do do dooo do dooo do do do.." is supposed to be the doctor
who theme.. :D )

Oh, I could totally tell. Why does the Doctor have the Doctor Who
theme song as his ringtone?




There are like seven chapters of this or something. I'm too lazy to go check, but after a few chapters I stopped snarking it. I do have more to post, though. I shall do that later.

He did wear pyjamas in The Christmas Invasion.

Donna sewing? Yeah, she doesn't strike me as the type, either.

But they belonged to Rose, didn't they? I always thought they did...

Yeah...maybe this is supposed to be AU. The "screw canon" mode of the fanfiction world.

Happenstance wrote:

But they belonged to Rose, didn't they? I always thought they did...

Nah, they belonged to that grocer that Rose's mum was foolin' around with. Always carrying satsumas around in his pockets, that one...

I thought they were his. I haven't seen the Invasion in a while.

...That is just horrible.

Quote :

The mother had learned Catherine at the local language learning center, from the Catherinian ambassador. Her accent was impeccable.

I laughed so hard XD

Happenstance wrote:

Quote :

The Doctor put on his glasses.

For no apparent reason. They just made him look even more sexy and thoughtful.

But that IS the only reason he wore glasses.

Happenstance wrote:

But they belonged to Rose, didn't they? I always thought they did...

He wore them again when he was in the Hospital, when he met Martha, so I'm assuming they are his.

What did I just read? It reads like Khaijidu wrote it.

PS: Canada is the second largest country in the world in terms of land mass. Way to say WHERE in Canada they are.

Dr. Professor Science wrote:

It reads like Khaijidu wrote it.

I don't write Whofic. Next?

Re: Cell Phone
It's a futuristic "smartphone" made by Toshiba in the "Whoverse", which uses the Cell Processor, previously used in Sony's Playstation 3 games console, that was for a brief period very successful, until Microsoft launched the X-Box 720, & Nintendo the Wii 2...
As a result of Sony's bankrupancy, Toshiba acquired the rights to said chip, & proceeded to incorporate it into various consumer appliances, such as Televisions, Mobile Phones, & Washing Machines...
Alternatively, the author has been lazy, & assumed that the slang term for a mobile phone was the same as the U.S uses...

If anyone's interested, my friend and I did an audio reading/snark of the entire story that's been posted thus far. It's on youtube:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

your mom wrote:

If anyone's interested, my friend and I did an audio reading/snark of the entire story that's been posted thus far. It's on youtube:
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KXsU2GOn1A

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

I've just listened to the first part of that, and subscribed to your channel... I'll be listening to the rest shortly and I think you're doing a great job.

As to the story... I find it difficult to imagine the doctor punching and kicking the TARDIS. Oh yes, it's retarded badfic, silly me.

[quote="BadficReadings"]

your mom wrote:

If anyone's interested, my friend and I did an audio reading/snark of the entire story that's been posted thus far. It's on youtube:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

I've just listened to the first part of that, and subscribed to your channel... I'll be listening to the rest shortly and I think you're doing a great job.

Thanks so much 8D