Movies That are Going to Suck: Part Deux

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Spoiler:

From the man who brought you a kitchen appliance comes.... Some Fucking Movie!

Well, I just felt my soul die a little inside.

I'm not even going to CONSIDER clicking the link for that video. Based on what I've read in the previous posts, it sounds like a train wreck waiting to happen.

Cyberwulf wrote:

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Spoiler:

From the man who brought you a kitchen appliance comes.... Some Fucking Movie!

what the fuck is this bullshit

Rob Schneider film. 'Nuff said.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

Cyberwulf wrote:

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Spoiler:

From the man who brought you a kitchen appliance comes.... Some Fucking Movie!

what the fuck is this bullshit

It appears someone tried to parody the horribly unfunny X Movie (Epic Movie, Date Movie, really anything after Scary Movie 3) by making a horribly unfunny movie.

...when I was proposing my script for "Movie Movie Movie", I wasn't thinking somebody would actually DO it.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Spoiler:

From the man who brought you a kitchen appliance comes.... Some Fucking Movie!

That is quite close to the most retarded two minutes of video I've ever watched.

When Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgen's agents told them they need to start taking more "adult" roles, I don't think this is what they had in mind.

That music that starts at 1:24 has got to be the most overused quasi-dubstep beat in the history of movie promos.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

That music that starts at 1:24 has got to be the most overused quasi-dubstep beat in the history of movie promos.

All dubstep is overused. Trufax.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

When Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgen's agents told them they need to start taking more "adult" roles, I don't think this is what they had in mind.

Oh, James Franco, you don't need to say yes to every movie.

Is it wrong of me that the only reaction I have, even after watching the trailer, is "orange bra with turquoise panties? Is the costume designer colour-blind?"?

Dreamworks.

Snails.

You know what I'm talking about.

Are you referring to Epic aka that movie which looks like it's FernGully except in CGI?

Mouse wrote:

Are you referring to Epic aka that movie which looks like it's FernGully except in CGI?

I think ViewSonic is referring to this.

This movie has no chance of being good. The premise is, on its face, completely unbelievable and stupid. I mean unbelievable as in "there is no way they can make this work with any fucking sense."

It'll probably be some up its own ass movie that tries to make a OMGDEEP point about human psychology that just turns out to be corny and shallow as shit. I can't even figure out how something like this got a green light.

We had a big premiere of that at the movie theater I worked at. Michael Bay showed up and there was a Q&A with him and we had to set up a table for him to sign autographs and I don't think he even had anything to do with the movie.

I got a free t-shirt.

Still looks better than...



Yeahhh. They're starting to run out of good masks for psychopaths to wear. Though I think the most "omg were they even trying?" masked-killer ensemble of the year (or about a year) goes to...

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Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

This movie has no chance of being good. The premise is, on its face, completely unbelievable and stupid. I mean unbelievable as in "there is no way they can make this work with any fucking sense."

It'll probably be some up its own ass movie that tries to make a OMGDEEP point about human psychology that just turns out to be corny and shallow as shit. I can't even figure out how something like this got a green light.

Hmm...

Quote :

If on one night every year, you could commit any crime without facing consequences, what would you do? Over the course of a single night, a family will be tested to see how far they will go to protect themselves when the vicious outside world breaks into their home.

Clearly not set in Texas.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

This movie has no chance of being good. The premise is, on its face, completely unbelievable and stupid. I mean unbelievable as in "there is no way they can make this work with any fucking sense."

It'll probably be some up its own ass movie that tries to make a OMGDEEP point about human psychology that just turns out to be corny and shallow as shit. I can't even figure out how something like this got a green light.

...I know the book they cribbed the idea from. The Iron Dragon's Daughter, of all things. O.o Yeeeahhhh, this is going to fuckin' blow.

rae wrote:

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

This movie has no chance of being good. The premise is, on its face, completely unbelievable and stupid. I mean unbelievable as in "there is no way they can make this work with any fucking sense."

It'll probably be some up its own ass movie that tries to make a OMGDEEP point about human psychology that just turns out to be corny and shallow as shit. I can't even figure out how something like this got a green light.

...I know the book they cribbed the idea from. The Iron Dragon's Daughter, of all things. O.o Yeeeahhhh, this is going to fuckin' blow.

Really? I kind of like the premise. Could make for a good story. Plus, it has Lena Headey.

Jay/Cris wrote:

rae wrote:

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

This movie has no chance of being good. The premise is, on its face, completely unbelievable and stupid. I mean unbelievable as in "there is no way they can make this work with any fucking sense."

It'll probably be some up its own ass movie that tries to make a OMGDEEP point about human psychology that just turns out to be corny and shallow as shit. I can't even figure out how something like this got a green light.

...I know the book they cribbed the idea from. The Iron Dragon's Daughter, of all things. O.o Yeeeahhhh, this is going to fuckin' blow.

Really? I kind of like the premise. Could make for a good story. Plus, it has Lena Headey.

While the concept could be very interesting, I suspect that, much like the Purge in IDD, it's going to be lackluster and not well thought out.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

This movie has no chance of being good. The premise is, on its face, completely unbelievable and stupid. I mean unbelievable as in "there is no way they can make this work with any fucking sense."

It'll probably be some up its own ass movie that tries to make a OMGDEEP point about human psychology that just turns out to be corny and shallow as shit. I can't even figure out how something like this got a green light.

Eeh, I get it. It seems, from the trailers I've seen, that it's basically going to be a horror movie with an unusual premise, and god knows me need more of those. I've seen enough 'CO-EDS GO TO A SECLUDED CABIN I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN' types to last me a lifetime.

It's less than promising that only half of the cast appears to actually have a name, though.

If you think you've seen the worst this summer's film fare has to offer, think again...In less than 24 hours the disaster known as The Smurfs 2 will descend on movie theaters across North America. And if The Lone Ranger was a train wreck, then Smurfs 2 will be a full-fledged nuclear meltdown; it will utterly exceed by a wide margin the levels of suck generated by the first Smurfs flick. I wonder if the late Peyo had any idea when he created the Smurfs back in 1959 that one day his name would be liinked to one of the biggest cinematic flops since Battlefield Earth. I'm sorry, but I just don't see this movie being anything other than a bomb.

Chris91 wrote:

If you think you've seen the worst this summer's film fare has to offer, think again...In less than 24 hours the disaster known as The Smurfs 2 will descend on movie theaters across North America. And if The Lone Ranger was a train wreck, then Smurfs 2 will be a full-fledged nuclear meltdown; it will utterly exceed by a wide margin the levels of suck generated by the first Smurfs flick. I wonder if the late Peyo had any idea when he created the Smurfs back in 1959 that one day his name would be liinked to one of the biggest cinematic flops since Battlefield Earth. I'm sorry, but I just don't see this movie being anything other than a bomb.

CGI animation killed animated movies. It used to take a little bit of time and effort to make an animated movie, so studios PUT SOME GODDAMN EFFORT IN. Now, any graphic design C student can apparently still birth a movie every four months. This is how we get Smurfs, Turbo, Planes, and such. It's just fucking terrible, and is only possible because stupid fucking little kids don't know any better and drag their parents to this shit, giving Disney/Dreamworks/Pixar two tickets for the price of one goddamn retard.

Fucking people that aren't the exact same age as me, ruining everything.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

CGI animation killed animated movies.  

I wouldn't quite go that far, Mikey. That said, I agree with you that the ready availability of CGI has encouraged animators to get into some really bad habits. (Of course, the problems with Smurfs 2 go well beyond crummy visuals, but that's a discussion for another day...) Remedying the problem might be easier said than done, considering that hand-drawn animation is on the verge of becoming extinct in most corners of the Western world.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

Turbo

That snail is fast.

Mikey wrote:

because stupid fucking little kids don't know any better and drag their parents to this shit

Actually, from what I've seen working at The Worst Movie Theater Ever it seems like it's the other way around. Parents drag their kids to movies that they think their kid want to see because it's a kids movie and the kids just kinda fall asleep or throw popcorn all over the place or something.

Now onto the topic...



This movie looks punny.

Turbo just sounds like a movie for kids, by grownups who hate children

"Oh, what kind of character hasn't been done yet?"

"Fuck, we've done polar bears, penguins, all that animal shit, fuckin' porpoises and lions. Kids dig that shit. I'm at a loss, bro."

"You know what we haven't done yet? Fuckin' snails man. Nobody has ever fuckin' made a snail character. That's fuckin' original."

"Dude, fuck that's deep. It's like, society just can't seem to fathom the fuckin' idea that fuckin' snails are the next big thing."

"Shit, they very well could be."

"And hell, he's gotta have dreams man. Dreams to be fast. But he's slow because get it? He's a snail!"

"Let's make a racing movie and make it with snails!"

"It's so gonna outdo Cars, man. Or fuckin' planes. John Candy ain't got nothing on that shit."