Collective "FEED BACK, PLZ?" Thread

I've been working on a more or less short story involving werewolves and I could really do with feed-back on some of the ideas.

So, information on the werewolves:

*They can shift at will, but need to eat a lot to do so, both to shift into and back from animal shape. If they don't eat previous to the shift, they either can't shift or will be too weak to even move afterwards.

I just figured if you’re gonna double, even triple, your body mass in seconds, then you're gonna need a fuck-load of calories and other nutrients to keep functioning properly.

*They sing almost constantly, in social situations or alone, and their voices can be heard for miles. They have a very rich oral-tradition, which is passed from generation to generation through song. It's almost impossible for them to go without, at least, humming for long periods of time.

This is taken from the idea that they are "wolves" and wolves howl like crazy, to communicate, to announce where they are, to call for their pack, to declare territory, etc.

It's a bit of a romantic idea, I know, but it's just always been stuck in my head that werewolves must sing a lot.

*The lunar cycle affects them. They will shift, whether they want to or not, in the full moon and will not be able to stay in animal shape for very long in the new moon. During the waxing stages, they'll feel increasingly restless, hungry and will favour the animal shape. The contrary is true for the waning stages.

*They don't consider themselves wolves and they are not wolves. They are a completely different species of canid/homo sapiens mixed naturally impossible thing. They have been deemed "wolves", because of obvious similarities and because I want to try keeping within reach of the source material.

*Whatever shape they are in, they will retain exactly the same eye and hair colour. If they are blonde, then their fur will be blonde. If they have black eyes, then their "wolf-eyes" will be black. This obviously means there are no white werewolves.

There are many more ideas, about their culture and social structure and such, but I think the above cover my more pressing doubts, since I've been trying to respect the original mythological creature, while I re-create it. The rest will be completely made up.


P.S: This is a collective thread, people, so don't make me look bad let it go to waste and use it.

No white werewolves? What if they're older, and their human forms have silver/white hair?

Good point. They would definitely retain their white/grey fur/hair. I suppose then, that there are no young white werewolves.

Goat wrote:

*They can shift at will, but need to eat a lot to do so, both to shift into and back from animal shape. If they don't eat previous to the shift, they either can't shift or will be too weak to even move afterwards.

I just figured if you’re gonna double, even triple, your body mass in seconds, then you're gonna need a fuck-load of calories and other nutrients to keep functioning properly.

That takes away flexibility from the character, and makes the story prone to plot holes, especially if you need the character somewhere else, shifted, and looking fine. Unless you want to work with that and have him eat a human or raid someone's fridge, or going missing for several hours(to hunt) before being seen as a human again.

Goat wrote:

*They sing almost constantly, in social situations or alone, and their voices can be heard for miles. They have a very rich oral-tradition, which is passed from generation to generation through song. It's almost impossible for them to go without, at least, humming for long periods of time.

This is taken from the idea that they are "wolves" and wolves howl like crazy, to communicate, to announce where they are, to call for their pack, to declare territory, etc.

It's a bit of a romantic idea, I know, but it's just always been stuck in my head that werewolves must sing a lot.

Unless you write really good songs, this is a bad idea. Now a powerful voice, and animalistic tendencies, I can understand, but singing? Singerewolf, it's right up there with the Sparklepire.

Psy-4 wrote:

That takes away flexibility from the character, and makes the story prone to plot holes, especially if you need the character somewhere else, shifted, and looking fine. Unless you want to work with that and have him eat a human or raid someone's fridge, or going missing for several hours(to hunt) before being seen as a human again.

You're right. I had already thought as much, but I'm willing to work with this weakness. I rather these werewolves had little to do with Meyer's or Underworld's. I want to make them sound more or less "real".

The main werewolf character will stay in wolf/human form for long periods of time, unless he can have a good meal first. It will hinder him some, but the werewolves will have been dealing with this problem from the time they are born, so they don't depend on either form too much.

Psy-4 wrote:

Unless you write really good songs, this is a bad idea. Now a powerful voice, and animalistic tendencies, I can understand, but singing? Singerewolf, it's right up there with the Sparklepire.

Ugh. I take offence.

No, in all seriousness now, I cannot write songs to save my life. Would it be better if I told you the werewolves have their own language and the story is told from the point of view of a human character, who cannot understand a word they say?

I've been trying to write out a few scenes to test my hand at the singing wolves. So far I've been able to walk around the lyrics and limited myself to writing the human character's impression of their voices. The singing is a very small part of the story and if there is any translation, it would be quite rough and given by the main werewolf character.

I also don't wanna bore my readers with several pages of mysterious, metaphor-ridden lyrics. I'm looking at you Tolkien (The blasphemy!).


Thanks, Psy-4.

Goat wrote:

Good point. They would definitely retain their white/grey fur/hair. I suppose then, that there are no young white werewolves.

What about albinos?

Admittedly, they'd have enough problems of their own.

Not quite white, are they, though? Kinda platinum blonde.

Goat wrote:

*They can shift at will, but need to eat a lot to do so, both to shift into and back from animal shape. If they don't eat previous to the shift, they either can't shift or will be too weak to even move afterwards.

I just figured if you’re gonna double, even triple, your body mass in seconds, then you're gonna need a fuck-load of calories and other nutrients to keep functioning properly.

I kinda like, but mostly dislike, this idea. I understand the urge to give otherwise powerful characters real limitations, but in addition to what Psy-4 mentioned, calorie intake shouldn't really have anything to do with bodymass in the short term like that. I mean, it's one thing to eat a good meal with lots of protein and carbohydrates before or after a strenuous workout, another thing entirely to instantly increase bodymass. They'd basically have to eat a fuckload of meat and bone and shift it out of their digestive systems instantaneously to incorporate it into their own system, or something.

I'd be a bit more comfortable with the idea if the werewolves were very hungry right after the change, but don't try to explain why exactly they are. They just are. That way you're not terribly constrained by an overreaching mechanic.

As an example of why getting specific like this doesn't work... take, oh, the Anita Blake series of novels. Lycanthropy is a disease, and lab tests can find the virus in the victim's bloodstream. Well, okay. That's fine, but that's too specific for the way werewolves work in those novels: They're vulnerable to silver, must change on a full moon, and form a tight hierarchical society based on Norse mythology wherever they go. Pretty specific and weird for a goddamn germ.

Sometimes science can be combined with magic in good ways, but usually the thing that makes magic magic is that it is a wondrous, mysterious force rather than something that can be written off as "metabolism gone Chernobyl."

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*They sing almost constantly, in social situations or alone, and their voices can be heard for miles. They have a very rich oral-tradition, which is passed from generation to generation through song. It's almost impossible for them to go without, at least, humming for long periods of time.

This is taken from the idea that they are "wolves" and wolves howl like crazy, to communicate, to announce where they are, to call for their pack, to declare territory, etc.

It's a bit of a romantic idea, I know, but it's just always been stuck in my head that werewolves must sing a lot.

Furry characters who eat and sing a lot... are we talking about Redwall here? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Okay, I'll admit it: I actually like taking wolves' howls into consideration for how the characters might behave. One of my most memorable experiences was going to Wolf Haven and finding myself surrounded by howling wolves.

However, the aspect of constant song doesn't quite seem to fit with wolves howling. I can see it as something done when they get together to build on the idea of a rich oral tradition, but I imagine that werewolves patterned after real wolves would be taciturn, quiet types until they knew or sensed other werewolves in the area.

...except for red wolves, anyway. Those guys ALWAYS have to get the last word in. Long after the greys have howled their piece, they'll still be yipping away until they realize nobody's paying attention anymore. So I guess your gingers could be loudmouths? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

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*The lunar cycle affects them. They will shift, whether they want to or not, in the full moon and will not be able to stay in animal shape for very long in the new moon. During the waxing stages, they'll feel increasingly restless, hungry and will favour the animal shape. The contrary is true for the waning stages.

Solid werewolfishness.

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*They don't consider themselves wolves and they are not wolves. They are a completely different species of canid/homo sapiens mixed naturally impossible thing. They have been deemed "wolves", because of obvious similarities and because I want to try keeping within reach of the source material.

I'm a bit confused, then. Do they ever assume a wolf form, or when they change, are they just bipedal, wolfish-looking monsters?

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P.S: This is a collective thread, people, so don't make me look bad let it go to waste and use it.

Well in THAT case... I'll be bitching about my own work shortly.