Captain Al Cohol

From the good folks at Comics With Problems comes another gem, a surreal anti-drinking comic from the Great White North. HOLY SHAMAN!

Spoiler:

Zeiss Manifold: THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN BEARS GET DRUNK
Mafiosa: OKAY I'M INTRIGUED ALREADY BECAUSE THERE'S BEAR WRESTLING ACTION
Mafiosa: You can tell it's for inuits because this comic takes place in a desolate cold wasteland.
Mafiosa: They can relate to that.
Mafiosa: Although I'm little confused on how you can incorporate a "firey" tomb into the arctic but okay.
Zeiss Manifold: And the hero is a white dude.
Zeiss Manifold: The portrayal of Inuit here basically swings between "noble savage" and TOOLAGA TOOLAGA with no stops in between, which is weird seeing how I'm pretty sure that they're the target audience.
Zeiss Manifold: But anyway BEARS
Mafiosa: BEAAARS
Mafiosa: Maybe this is a russian joke somehow.
Mafiosa: What with drunk bears running around up north.
Zeiss Manifold: At least with global warming and stuff this doesn't happen so much now
Zeiss Manifold: so people with Pageboy haircuts can feel safe and secure

Spoiler:

Zeiss Manifold: AL
Zeiss Manifold: COHOL
Zeiss Manifold: HE'LL SAVE EVERY ONE OF US
Mafiosa: BY COMING
Zeiss Manifold: He's got a major iceplay thing, I see
Mafiosa: He's being birthed by a champagne flute, how symbolic.
Mafiosa: The hell's going on with his abs
Zeiss Manifold: Iceplay *and* indegestion, apparently.
Zeiss Manifold: That or he's smuggling ground chuck into the Yukon.
Mafiosa: *shivers in my kamik to show I'm down with the eskimo youth*
Zeiss Manifold: Hey hey. Kamiks With Problems.
Mafiosa: Hi-oooohhhhh!

Spoiler:

Mafiosa: A sled pulled by badgers.
Zeiss Manifold: The Far North was ravaged by the wild ratdogs and their giant eggs.
Mafiosa: The most redundant sound effect ever.
Mafiosa: I can fucking see the crack right there.
Zeiss Manifold: No, no, sound effect, this comic's about alcohol.

Spoiler:

Mafiosa: KATUKTUALUKIRQPUGA
Mafiosa: I'm so using that in scrabble next time.
Zeiss Manifold: "The feeling of confusion at the fact that your sled dogs have suddenly turned into cats."
Mafiosa: "No really an eskimo term for 'fuck my sled badgers are being swallowed by the earth and screaming like women'"
Zeiss Manifold: You'd think they'd have a more complex term than AAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, but that's linguistics for ya.
Zeiss Manifold: HOLY SHAMAN!
Zeiss Manifold: LEAPING HONEYBUCKETS!
Mafiosa: LEAPING HONEYBUCKETS
Mafiosa: oh haha
Mafiosa: Old eskimo term for "HOLY SHIT"
Zeiss Manifold: 'Cause you know, the Inuit frequently harvest honey from the ice bees in hives made out of caribou pelvises.
Mafiosa: There's bears in the north, right. They gotta eat honey from snow bees.
Zeiss Manifold: Fuck Uggg, kamiks are where it's at.

Spoiler:

Mafiosa: Wow.
Zeiss Manifold: "TAKURALAGUNA: The act of looking at big things."
Zeiss Manifold: Wait, did we say this was produced for Inuit? We mean CUBANS
Zeiss Manifold: Either someone switched some panels here or we're in the Buena Vista Snowcial Club.
Mafiosa: I think TAKURALAGUNA is my favorite word.
Mafiosa: Second only to GLEEP
Zeiss Manifold: TAKURALAGUNA
Zeiss Manifold: WHAT A WONDERFUL PHRASE
Mafiosa: TAKURALAGUNA
Mafiosa: AIN'T NO PASSIN' PHASE
Mafiosa: IT DOESN'T MEAN SHIT

Spoiler:

Mafiosa: Reaction face alert
Zeiss Manifold: Prince Valiant is pissed!
Mafiosa: "Bleary eyed?" More like "concussed".
Mafiosa: Kirnik just got SOCK!ed through a wall
Zeiss Manifold: "He's doing the mashed potato in the vicinity of some walls, what sound do you think that'd make?" "I dunno, 'SOCK'."
Zeiss Manifold: Really, it's like the Canadian anti-drinking version of Axe Cop.
Mafiosa: And then the artist threw down his pen and screamed "fuck it, time for a three martini lunch"
Mafiosa: In conclusion: ARGGG-G-G
Zeiss Manifold: No, it's clearly ARGG G-G-G!! Two seperate words. It's Inuktitut for "Where the hell did all that ice go anyway?"
Mafiosa: HE'S AN ALIEN WE DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN IT
Zeiss Manifold: Also, he seems to have run through the wall going out and run through another one coming in, on at least two seperate occasions.

Let's make a drinking game out of this comic.

e: Every time a bullshit inuit word shows up, drink a bottle of paint thinner.

Zeiss Manifold wrote:

Zeiss Manifold: 'Cause you know, the Inuit frequently harvest honey from the ice bees in hives made out of caribou pelvises.
Mafiosa: There's bears in the north, right. They gotta eat honey from snow bees.

I don't know if you're fully aware of this, but a honey bucket is what you have if you're in the 99% of Alaska with no indoor plumbing. It's a bucket with a toilet seat nailed on, and it's what you shit into.

Sarin wrote:

Zeiss Manifold wrote:

Zeiss Manifold: 'Cause you know, the Inuit frequently harvest honey from the ice bees in hives made out of caribou pelvises.
Mafiosa: There's bears in the north, right. They gotta eat honey from snow bees.

I don't know if you're fully aware of this, but a honey bucket is what you have if you're in the 99% of Alaska with no indoor plumbing. It's a bucket with a toilet seat nailed on, and it's what you shit into.

So the phrase is literally "jumping shit bucket"? That's amazing.

Who sets an anti-drinking comic in Alaska? There's nothing to do up there but snowboard, fish, and drink a lot.

Mafiosa wrote:

Sarin wrote:

Zeiss Manifold wrote:

Zeiss Manifold: 'Cause you know, the Inuit frequently harvest honey from the ice bees in hives made out of caribou pelvises.
Mafiosa: There's bears in the north, right. They gotta eat honey from snow bees.

I don't know if you're fully aware of this, but a honey bucket is what you have if you're in the 99% of Alaska with no indoor plumbing. It's a bucket with a toilet seat nailed on, and it's what you shit into.

So the phrase is literally "jumping shit bucket"? That's amazing.

(Gasping) Hold on, I'm okay. (Breaks out giggling again) That has got to be the silliest swearing I've ever heard. "Jumping toilet!" For that matter, what is with the made-up words? They couldn't just go ask someone who knew the language? Especially since that was the group they were targeting?

Lapin wrote:

That has got to be the silliest swearing I've ever heard. "Jumping toilet!" For that matter, what is with the made-up words? They couldn't just go ask someone who knew the language? Especially since that was the group they were targeting?

Inuktitut is an agglutinative language - it works in a way that allows things that take entire sentences to be say in English to be combined into one word - sort of like German on steroids - and so you have a lot of 'unique' words popping up, which makes whether the words here are genuine hard to verify. Why the Inuit here constantly switch back and forth to English like the ethnic people in Superfriends, however, is another question entirely.

(I'm doing a paper on Nunavut for college, so snarking this doubles as RESEARCH?! if you were asking)

Speaking of Germans, though, they still win out for the silliest swear ever - Arschgeige, which translates roughly to "ass violin" and is still used as an insult to this day.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spoiler:

Mafiosa: Trail of havoc: knocking people down
Mafiosa: Oh holy fuck he's chewing on one of the Inuits
Zeiss Manifold: "Community reefer?" Wow, there must have been whole caravans shipping up to the North after this was published.
Mafiosa: Look at his eyebrows.
Mafiosa: Or don't maybe that's safer.
Zeiss Manifold: "Wait a minute, this isn't Eternia!"
Mafiosa: That inuit man has two mouths.
Zeiss Manifold: CARIBOU DNA

Spoiler:

Mafiosa: Holy smokes grab it.
Mafiosa: I love these blank expressions of horror.
Zeiss Manifold: I'M SCARED.
Zeiss Manifold: UAKAGAAAAA - "IT'S A ZANY ACTION"
Zeiss Manifold: TIGULUGU - "A CRAZY CONTRAPTION"
Zeiss Manifold: KAPIANIQ - "THE FUN IS CATCHING IT'S MOUSETRAP"
Mafiosa: The guy in the lower right corner is going to redrawn this comic with his giant ballpoint pen.
Mafiosa: TIGULUGU: I'M HOLDING THIS GUN LIKE AN ASSHOLE
Mafiosa: Everyone 's face is melting
Zeiss Manifold: You'd think that *that* of all things wouldn't be such a problem in goddamn Canada.
Zeiss Manifold: The Inuit only have five words for 'snow', but they do have fifty words for YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Mafiosa: It's that goddamn "firey" tomb.

Spoiler:

Mafiosa: Running gag or running this shit into the ground? YOU DECIDE!
Mafiosa: What exactly is the point of that thought bubble, to point out the incompetence of the Inuits when it comes to white man machinery?
Mafiosa: Or am I just TAKURALAGUNA in the head?
Zeiss Manifold: WE ARE INUIT AND THEREFORE EVERY THOUGHT WE HAVE IS WORTHY OF BEING SPELLED OUT IN A BUBBLE
Mafiosa: ALSO OUR WORDS ARE MADE UP AND COMPRISED OF HIGH SCORING SCRABBLE LETTERS
Mafiosa: Case in point
Zeiss Manifold: "We are going to get him SO WASTED WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Zeiss Manifold: Damn Inuit medicine doctor frat parties.
Mafiosa: PARTY ON THE OPERATING TABLE
Mafiosa: GONNA DYE OUR HAIR SKY BLUE AND WAX OUR TINY, DIABOLICAL MUSTACHES
Mafiosa: MIGHT EVEN RAISE AN EYEBROW OR TWO
Zeiss Manifold: "What's this? Rum? Oh, I'm a naughty doctor!"

Spoiler:

Mafiosa: "Swoosh"? Really?
Mafiosa: That's the sound alcohol poisoning makes?
Mafiosa: Oh sorry, Al Cohol poisoning
Zeiss Manifold: No, that's a flock of terns just outside of the panel.
Zeiss Manifold: Judging from the hole he made in the wall, it seems the reason why alcohol is "poisonous" to him is because he's a platypus.
Mafiosa: How much more is Captain Al Cohol going to come? He's been coming for pages now!
Zeiss Manifold: Panel 3: AL COHOL BOOGIE
Mafiosa: I can't decide if he's getting funky or chasing after some inuit children going "RAWRRR RAWRRR RAWRRR"
Zeiss Manifold:
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Spoiler:

Mafiosa: UNKNOWN PERILS: a goddamn bear
Zeiss Manifold: SURELY NO ONE IN THE ARCTIC HAS SEEN A BEAR BEFORE
Mafiosa: ALIEN BEAST
Zeiss Manifold: This would actually make a cool page that guy hadn't been Photoshopped in.
Mafiosa: This would actually be a good page if it was two bears facing each other.
Mafiosa: Looking like they're about to hug, because that's is definitely what that bear is doing.
Zeiss Manifold: This would probably make a great album cover either way. Rush like polar bears, right?
Mafiosa: "Captain Al Cohol and The Hugging Bears"
Mafiosa: Album title: TAKURALAGUNA

Spoiler:

Zeiss Manifold: "OH MY a GIANT POLAR BEAR oh I'm so SCARED"
Mafiosa: I cannot accurately express my disappointment in Cap's bear ass kicking plan.
Mafiosa: Plus, the onomatopoeias are getting worse
Zeiss Manifold: Is this why being drunk is bad? You start being a dick to bears?
Mafiosa: He had a thimbleful of booze and he got wasted off of that?
Zeiss Manifold: CHUNK
Mafiosa: TRUFFLE SHUFFLE
Zeiss Manifold: Pretty sure ice doesn't work like that. Maybe it's the bees at it again.
Mafiosa: Pretty sure chunk is a peanut butter quality and not a sound.
Zeiss Manifold: TO BE CONTINUED, but some parting words for now:
Zeiss Manifold:
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Zeiss Manifold: FROM OUR FRIEND MR. AL COHOL TO YOU
Zeiss Manifold: Not saying by any means that this stuff isn't a problem in the Inuit community and all, but really, one thinks that there's a more relevant way of going about all this than talking about how liquor makes spacemen fight bears.
Mafiosa: I dunno, when you say it like that it sounds like something i would actually want to read.
Mafiosa: In fact, when you think about it the message here is "Get drunk and best bears in combat"
Zeiss Manifold: BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN BEARS GET DRUNK?
Mafiosa: THEY BECOME UNSTOPPABLE KILLING MACHINES

Quote :

Zeiss Manifold: The Inuit only have five words for 'snow', but they do have fifty words for YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I think I cracked a rib laughing, you asshole.

What I'm trying to figure out is why it's all the Inuit's fault. None of them seem to be drunk when they discover or rescue the Good Captain. And the only booze you see in the whole thing is the small shot glass the Doctor gives him to wake him up. Back in the era this is set in, that was pretty much SOP for ANY Doctor, no matter what race he was. Alcohol was used medicinally the same way antibiotics are today.

Hell, it's not the Inuit's fault the guy can't hold his booze and ends up fighting with polar bears. I realize that alcoholism was (and still is) a very real problem in the Inuit communities today, just like it's a problem amongst Native Americans. But this is the first time I've ever seen the problem blamed on the Native People giving a white man alcohol. Usually, it was the other way around.

One does have to wonder what the Inuits this was given to thought about it. Frankly, I seem them thumbing through it, going "TAKURALAGUNA," then throwing it into the nearest fire.

I'm rather confused as to why they decide to make booze a superhero, if the purpose of this comic is to push people away from alcohol.

...and how come all of the Inuits in this comic are late-middle-aged men?

Seule wrote:

...and how come all of the Inuits in this comic are late-middle-aged men?

They aren't. It's just that their hard-drinking lifestyles make these young ladies age prematurely. It's an Inuit Flesh Gordan, I tellz ya!

Hard drinking, constant sub-zero temperatures and Arctic winds, lack of available moisturizer. Prime recipe for premature aging, yep.

Penguin wrote:

Hard drinking, constant sub-zero temperatures and Arctic winds, lack of available moisturizer. Prime recipe for premature aging, yep.

To hell with the booze-they need them to send them a care package full of lotion.

Zeiss Manifold: LAST TIME ON CAPTAIN AL COHOL
Zeiss Manifold: CAPTAIN AL COHOL WAS KIND OF A DICK
Zeiss Manifold: NOW, THE SAGA CONTINUES

Spoiler:

Mafiosa: Wait what
Mafiosa: *checks to see if this is the right page*
Mafiosa: ...Huh.
Zeiss Manifold: I see the Northwest Territories chapter of Harvey Birdman Law Offices had a garage sale.
Mafiosa: This is like a dada arthouse performance on drugs.
Zeiss Manifold: SHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK
Mafiosa: I can't tell who is shreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek-ing but I'm assuming it's the guy in the prince valiant bowl cut
Mafiosa: That just feels right somehow.
Zeiss Manifold: Brave Al Cohol ran away. Bravely ran away, away!
Mafiosa: He needs some liquid courage.
Mafiosa: OH WAIT
Mafiosa: "If you don't drink alcohol you are a huge goddamn wuss" That's what I'm getting out of this.
Zeiss Manifold: He's off to watch a Dreamworks movie to help him get sober. Namely:
Zeiss Manifold: SHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

Spoiler:

Mafiosa: OoOoOOo
Mafiosa: That's the sound a cape makes I guess.
Zeiss Manifold: Damn Canadian air zygotes.
Mafiosa: Final panel: Leatherface and his sled team of cats meet He-Man
Zeiss Manifold: Leatherface dances a merry jig in celebration.
Mafiosa: "I'll be! Fresh meat to last the winter!"
Zeiss Manifold: I didn't know Dick Tracy had any Inuit villains.
Mafiosa: Second panel: abs are a 2x2 lego piece
Zeiss Manifold: oh my god they are
Zeiss Manifold: Some kid is going to pick him up and use him as a makeshift laser turret for their UFO destroyer.
Mafiosa: Or someone will step on him with horrible results. Shit hurts
Zeiss Manifold: Bad enough stepping on those things at night without some drunk with a pageboy haircut yelling at you.

Spoiler:

Mafiosa: Okay, "Ugg" is not an inuit word, it's a fucking boot and not an exclamation of any sort.
Zeiss Manifold: Just drag him bare to the ice castle, he didn't need that layer of skin anyway.
Mafiosa: He's frozen,he's just knocking off the freezer burn.
Mafiosa: Lookit the detail on that castle
Zeiss Manifold: Either it's made out of the cardboard kind of snow or Calvin has really been slacking off.
Mafiosa: Looks like the flag is made of of snow. Shitty craftmanship on the castle, but that's a damn nice snow flag.
Mafiosa: wuff
Zeiss Manifold: arf
Zeiss Manifold: ugg
Mafiosa: TAKURALAGUNA!

[A wild REEP appeared!]

Reepicheep-chan: Hello mah bitches! I just finished up a delish mimosa and I am ready to wreastle a bear~
Zeiss Manifold: ARE YOU READY TO FALL OFF THE ICE AND STARE AT YOUR HANDS THOUGH

Spoiler:

Reepicheep-chan: I am ready to see inuendo in everything the narrator says, that is for damn sure.
Mafiosa: He's thunking like a frozen what?
Mafiosa: The fuck's a char?
Zeiss Manifold: captain al cohol, he is a CHAR
Reepicheep-chan: He kinda looks like a Char.
Mafiosa: Reaction face of the year in the final panel
Reepicheep-chan: Add a silly mask and you are totes set on that.
Mafiosa: Ice is razor sharp I guess okay.
Mafiosa: Why not. The ground is made of nature's razorblades
Zeiss Manifold: This page wants to make me thump some hard snow, don't know about you guys.
Mafiosa: Is that a euphemism
Zeiss Manifold: For...doing a handstand, I guess.
Reepicheep-chan: Well it sure stiffens MY body, ifyaknowwhatImean.
Zeiss Manifold:
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Reepicheep-chan: I see some INCREDIBLE COMING in my future.

Spoiler:

Mafiosa: GLEEP
Mafiosa: FUCKING GLEEP
Zeiss Manifold: And by "Inuit", we mean Shaquille O’Neal as Ming the Merciless.
Reepicheep-chan: I hear that in the Roadrunner's voice.
Reepicheep-chan: Gleep Gleep.
Zeiss Manifold: Now would you want to hear *that* from a man slave?
Reepicheep-chan: So, that first panel. I see a man pouring booze into a parascope, which is then leaking it out into a glass.
Mafiosa: That bastard! How dare he supply us with delicious alcohol and warming furs!
Reepicheep-chan: Teal furs.
Reepicheep-chan: Probably from some ENDANGERED ANIMAL.
Mafiosa: Demon tonic sounds badass
Mafiosa: "Hello bartender, he'll have an appletini and I'll have a DEMON TONIC"
Zeiss Manifold: I think that he's just starting to fall over in that panel and has realized that he is powerless to stop it.
Reepicheep-chan: Heavy on the Demon and light on the tonic, please.
Reepicheep-chan: Heh, man-slave. Wonder what he keeps HIM drunk all day for?
Mafiosa: These are all very impractical outfits for living in the tundra
Reepicheep-chan: I foresee more INCREDIBLE COMING.

Spoiler:

Mafiosa: Did his beard grow between pages?
Mafiosa: please help me my name is total bullshit
Mafiosa: That's not where I keep my children at all.
Zeiss Manifold: *Googles "Igpook"*
Zeiss Manifold: Hey look, a bunch of coding stuff and...this comic.
Zeiss Manifold: This was made right in the middle of Inuit country and they couldn't just stop some guy and ask him his name?
Reepicheep-chan: Behold the white man's power to resist alcohol!
Mafiosa: Wait, why is there a boy in that "cupboard" aka. closet
Mafiosa: I'm confused on how these panels are suppose to progress.
Reepicheep-chan: OH NO YOU DON'T stand there looking shocked in my general direction.
Mafiosa: There's a jump between the last couple panels that feels like the writer was getting sick of this shit and just started to end this as quickly as possible while reminiscing about times when he worked on REAL comics.
Zeiss Manifold: Last panel:
Zeiss Manifold:

Mafiosa: *shatters glass in hand*
Mafiosa: FFFFFFFFFFUUCCCCCKKKK THAT HURT
Reepicheep-chan: With the power of alcohol you FEEL NO PAIN.
Reepicheep-chan: Also you get to enjoy INCREDIBLE COMING.
Zeiss Manifold: It's one of those fancy non-linear comics. Al actually finds the door to a McDonald's and sees Igpook embedded in the local Grimace. They don't show the slaying that resulted.
Mafiosa: You can't kill Grimace, you fool.
Reepicheep-chan: What was Grimace supposed to be again? Some sort of fruit pie?
Zeiss Manifold: That's right now that I think about it, any piece of a Grimace can regenerate back into the whole. You could always just scatter him to the winds, though.
Mafiosa: The embodiment of the sin of gluttony I think.
Reepicheep-chan: Ah.
Zeiss Manifold: Does that make the Hamburglar Greed or Envy?
Reepicheep-chan: Greed I think. Maybe the bird-thing is Envy.
Mafiosa: The fuck is that bird supposed to be anyway.
Mafiosa: It has hair IIRC
Zeiss Manifold: She's not Lust, surprisingly. That title goes to Mayor McCheese.
Zeiss Manifold: You do not want to know what he did with that burger.
Mafiosa: What kind of sick god would allow for McDonalds mascots to exist.

Spoiler:

Reepicheep-chan: Wow, The Cap is a bit of a potty-mouth.
Zeiss Manifold: "Continued on the following page."
Zeiss Manifold: HOW BOOKS WORK
Mafiosa: #@*@*@ is the least horseshit word we've come across so far.
Mafiosa: Did he just kick his head backwards.
Reepicheep-chan: Certainly less horseshit than "MANFULLY".
Zeiss Manifold: Everyone, give us a "#-@-*-backwards @-*-cursive E!"
Reepicheep-chan: WHAT DOES THAT SPELL?!
Zeiss Manifold: It spells "oh dear jesus that kid is pure nightmare fuel in the second panel"
Zeiss Manifold: the Inuktitut word for which is TAKARALAGUNA
Reepicheep-chan: Is that... Mogley?
Zeiss Manifold: Evil demon dummy Mowgli.
Mafiosa: Holy shit the proportions in the 3rd panel
Mafiosa: Kid is soooo smalllll
Reepicheep-chan: Is torso is the size of one of Cap's MANFULL pecs.
Zeiss Manifold: That's what the Grimace does to ya
Mafiosa: Read it as: "LIQUORI"
Zeiss Manifold: Fourth panel could make for a bonafide Kate Beaton comic, just saying.
Mafiosa: 4th panel: Disembodied heads on platters
Mafiosa: IS CAPTAIN AL A SUPERHERO OR IS HE JUST A SUPER SISSY
Mafiosa: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Reepicheep-chan: Oh he is a super sissy alright.
Reepicheep-chan: You should check out his webpage.
Reepicheep-chan: Or his fetlife account.
Zeiss Manifold: Spoiler: TAKARALAGUNA is actually his safe word.
Reepicheep-chan: INCREDIBLE COMING!
Zeiss Manifold: Damn, all over the kamik!

Spoiler:

Reepicheep-chan: Wat.
Reepicheep-chan: That is not what the last page promised AT ALL.
Zeiss Manifold: When I think "Northwest Territories", I think "baseball!”
Reepicheep-chan: I think WWII era insulting Chinese characatures.
Mafiosa: HEY DUMBASS RECREATION GRANTS FUCK YEAH
Mafiosa: THAT GUY'S TAKING A SHIT WHILE SKING
Zeiss Manifold: I'M GONNA BUILD ME A SNOW CASTLE
Zeiss Manifold: WITH MINE
Mafiosa: Look at all the hair on that kid's arm.
Mafiosa: He's been juicing up.
Reepicheep-chan: QUIT WASTING YOUR LEISURE TIME, DAMNIT.
Zeiss Manifold: Must have been learning a few workout tips from Gamera.

Spoiler:

Mafiosa: Oh god yes I've been dying for this chapter.
Mafiosa: Al's tripping balls and staring into the distance.
Zeiss Manifold: Captain Al Cohol gets stoned, wanders into people's houses.
Mafiosa: Where everyone is making asian faces at each other.
Reepicheep-chan: "You can tell I am a space traveler because of the rocketship on my pajama top here."
Zeiss Manifold: That's a rocketship? I thought it was a flasher in a vest.
Mafiosa: Last panel: arms don't work like that
Reepicheep-chan: He looks like he is trying to be 'hip'.
Zeiss Manifold: His flow needs some work.
Zeiss Manifold: He's got the gestures down, though.
Mafiosa: He has been known to let the beat...
Mafiosa: DROP
Reepicheep-chan: So, Vayageur. Is that like a fancey french voyager?
Zeiss Manifold: HE COMES FROM SPACE FRANCE

Spoiler:

Mafiosa: Al just had a stroke.
Zeiss Manifold: Depression, now playable in big-head mode.
Mafiosa: Rye and ginger? Really?
Zeiss Manifold: SPACE DRINKS
Mafiosa: Oh god he came back to his wife and children in the same bed. D:
Reepicheep-chan: SPACE VAN.
Mafiosa: No wait I read that wrong
Mafiosa: BOY AM I SWACKED EVEN IN SPACE WE HAVE STUPID ASS WORDS
Zeiss Manifold: "...But on the way, I TRIPPED OVER SPUTNIK"
Mafiosa: His wife's hair is the same color as his outside-underwear.
Reepicheep-chan: Man, Eternia sure went down the shitter.
Zeiss Manifold: So drinking gave him a fetish for hair panties.
Zeiss Manifold: I could take the Harvey Birdman rejects, but this is just weird.
Reepicheep-chan: Hey, hair panties are an excellent fetish.
Zeiss Manifold: When not knit out of pubic hair, I guess. Stay away from the coarse stuff.

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That art style reminds me of some comic books I used to have. Needless to say, that, even at a young age, I found them pretty atrocious.

Anyway, awesome snark - makes me wonder just HOW these kind of artists get employed anywhere.


I FIND THE LACK OF CAPTAIN AL COHOL FAN ART DISTURBING.

Spoiler: