unskilled78
Sporkbender
Join date : 2009-06-03
Age : 34
Location : a hell of his own creation.
 | | Subject: If a sterotypical Trekkie was a captain in Star Fleet... Fri Jun 12, 2009 5:24 pm | |
| So, Lysander, Nihilist, and I thought it would be amusing to do a story based on a true self-insert of a Trekkie into Star Trek. :mwahaha: I've heard of something called an Anti-sue (all negative qualities), and would like to avoid doing that. So, I'll be posting my story as I do it, for you all to [s]praise vehemently[/s] con-crit. I'm not very good at this, so please try to have patience. Here's the first part. - Spoiler:
“Captains log, stardate 5142.42 We are currently warping to the planet Cobra in order to negotiate for peace, after single-handedly destroying its fleet-“
“Negative. The USS Ishimura is currently located in orbit around Sigma Cancer 2; an M-class planet, Location: Sector 72: 213.4, 624. 53, 717.13. Designation “Cobra” not found in reference to this, or any planetary body or political unit.“
“I know that, Computer. I just wish my life was cooler, you know?”
“This unit is incapable of suggestions regarding self-fulfillment. Would you like to make an appointment with Ships Psychiatrist?”
“Her office isn’t the only thing I’d like to enter, heh heh heh.”
“Message Sent.”
“No! Abort Message, captains authorization Sigma-Epsilon-Chi-6-9.”
“Unable to comply. Message already opened. Phaser fire detected in Ships Psychiatric treatment room.”
“Get me Doctor McKay! Dispatch Security! Replicate me some more Cheetos!”
Doctor McKay, the chief psychiatrist appeared on the screen. She was normally calm and collected, but she was quite flustered. She also had a faintly smoking furrow in her hair. “Well, good job, Captain. I had crew-woman Greer in here, complaining of Dvorkian syndrome when you called. You just induced a class-5 MA attack. The Patient Control System tagged her with a sedative, but she still gave me a reverse Mohawk. Captain… are you naked?”
Captain Mikey W. Stuart tried to dive out of range of the sensor, a task made more difficult by the dirty uniforms, books, empty bags of cheetos, and various other junk that littered the floor of his quarters. “Yes, doctor, I was readying myself for my pre-shift shower, when I got your call, and what message do you mean?” he said, attempting to sound nonchalant.
“You know exactly what I mean, Sir, unless it’s another computer glitch like the one last month that caused the Princess of Sigma Draconis to somehow lose her clothes mid-transport” she replied, rolling her eyes. “Well, Captain, I have other patients to attend to, so I shall leave you to your shower. Doctor McKay, out.” As soon as the screen went black, she sighed and hit her head on her desk. “Why did I have to get stuck with captain Insufficient, here? Computer: replicate me 5 CCs of dopamine."
| |
|
V3N0M
Sporkbender
Join date : 2010-01-06
| | Subject: Re: If a sterotypical Trekkie was a captain in Star Fleet... Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:39 am | |
| I like it. Looking forward to the next chapter. But the doctor missed a chance to point out that the captain probably doesn't take showers. | |
|
