James Joyce's Love Letters

IT's sweet how it takes him less than a sentence from being all poetic and adorable to completely heinous.

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My love for you allows me to pray to the spirit of eternal beauty and tenderness mirrored in your eyes

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or fling you down under me on that softy belly of yours and fuck you up behind,

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like a hog riding a sow, glorying in the very stink and sweat that rises from your arse,

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glorying in the open shape of your upturned dress and white girlish drawers and in the confusion of your flushed cheeks and tangled hair.

And then back to kind of sweet for the end.

This is the first sentence.

Oh god I remember these.

It's great to know that the post-Victorians took full advantage of their new found sexual parts and wrote smutty stuff like this.

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glorying in the very stink and sweat that rises from your arse

I'm not saying I'm of ill hygiene, but recently we had to cope with no hot water for over a week, and by the time it was turned back on the stink and sweat of my arse was about as arousing as castration. I doubt this lady had things any better in the bathing department. Yuck.

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with you feeling your fingers fondling and tickling my ballocks

I now have the mental image of a pair of Chelsea Midfielders stuck between a man's legs.

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while my head is wedged in between your fat thighs, my hands clutching
the round cushions of your bum and my tongue licking ravenously up your
rank red cunt.

How flattering. Ladies of WGW, how would you feel if I complemented you all on your overly plump legs and 'rank' vagina? Aroused? Damn skippy you would. This is 1909 we're talking about here.

I can't read any more of this, from worry that I wake people up. Scrolling down reveals a whole bunch of these things. XD I really need to go to bed.

Damn you, Nihlist, you just HAD to post this, didn't you?

I was forced to read this piece of tripe in my sophomore college English Lit Course, and I swear, it was enough to put me off sex for the rest of my life. It didn't help that most the guys in the class were apparently still operating on the level of a fifth grader who'd just found a copy of 'Playboy' lying around, and spent all their time sniggering behind their hands and making farting sounds with their armpits.

At least it's not Aleister Crowley's poetry.

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I have done so much and so often that I am afraid to look to see how that thing I had is after all I have done to myself

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dirty red lumpy pole

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Rabid Badger wrote:

It didn't help that most the guys in the class were apparently still operating on the level of a fifth grader who'd just found a copy of 'Playboy' lying around, and spent all their time sniggering behind their hands and making farting sounds with their armpits.

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"I wrote you a letter".

Sutremaine wrote:

At least it's not Aleister Crowley's poetry.

You know, the way these guys view woman explains so much about the late 19th-early 20th centuries.

Psy-4 wrote:

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This is going to be my default response to terribly-written, baffling sex scenes from now on.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Sutremaine wrote:

At least it's not Aleister Crowley's poetry.

You know, the way these guys view woman explains so much about the late 19th-early 20th centuries.

Wasn't Crowley more or less THE troll of his time? Or at least crazy as hell? My English teachers never really seemed to know [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

bleachedblackcat wrote:

Rabid Badger wrote:

Sutremaine wrote:

At least it's not Aleister Crowley's poetry.

You know, the way these guys view woman explains so much about the late 19th-early 20th centuries.

Wasn't Crowley more or less THE troll of his time? Or at least crazy as hell? My English teachers never really seemed to know [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Juries still out on that. I'm leaning towards crazy like a fox. On the one hand, he partook of pretty much any drug he could get his hands on to 'expand his consciousness' (back them, most of them were legal and could be obtained from the drug store), and had sex with enough people he likely had every STD known to humanity at the time. On the other hand, he managed to gather a large enough following to actually found the Church of Satan, AND get it declared a legitimate religion so they could get tax breaks.

And by influencing Ozzy Osbourne and Black Sabbath, he gave literally hundreds of thousands of disaffected teens something else to annoy their parents with while they were busy rebelling again 'The Man' in the late 60s-early 70s.

Rabid Badger wrote:

On the other hand, he managed to gather a large enough following to actually found the Church of Satan, AND get it declared a legitimate religion so they could get tax breaks.

That was Anton LaVey. Though Anton was pretty heavily inspired by the trollery of Aleister Crowley.

My vote is that "the Wickedest Man In the World" was a troll.

I want to read Nora's letters to him.

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You seem anxious to know how I received your letter which you say is worse than mine. How is it worse than mine, love? Yes, it is worse in one part or two. I mean the part where you say what you will do with your tongue (I don't mean sucking me off) and in that lovely word you write so big and underline, you little blackguard. It is thrilling to hear that word (and one or two others you have not written) on a girl's lips. But I wish you spoke of yourself and not of me. Write me a long long letter , full of that and other things, about yourself, darling. You know now how to give me a cockstand. Tell me the smallest things about yourself so long as they are obscene and secret and filthy. Write nothing else. Let every sentence be full of dirty immodest words and sounds. They are all lovely to hear and to see on paper even but the dirtiest are the most beautiful.

ps god ye're weak this isn't a patch on Cloud Mows the Lawn

Cyberwulf wrote:

I want to read Nora's letters to him.

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You seem anxious to know how I received your letter which you say is worse than mine. How is it worse than mine, love? Yes, it is worse in one part or two. I mean the part where you say what you will do with your tongue (I don't mean sucking me off) and in that lovely word you write so big and underline, you little blackguard. It is thrilling to hear that word (and one or two others you have not written) on a girl's lips. But I wish you spoke of yourself and not of me. Write me a long long letter , full of that and other things, about yourself, darling. You know now how to give me a cockstand. Tell me the smallest things about yourself so long as they are obscene and secret and filthy. Write nothing else. Let every sentence be full of dirty immodest words and sounds. They are all lovely to hear and to see on paper even but the dirtiest are the most beautiful.

ps god ye're weak this isn't a patch on Cloud Mows the Lawn

Okay, someone needs to write "Aleister Crowley Mows the Lawn.' Complete with excerpts from Nan's letters to him.

Rabid Badger wrote:

bleachedblackcat wrote:

Rabid Badger wrote:

Sutremaine wrote:

At least it's not Aleister Crowley's poetry.

You know, the way these guys view woman explains so much about the late 19th-early 20th centuries.

Wasn't Crowley more or less THE troll of his time? Or at least crazy as hell? My English teachers never really seemed to know [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Juries still out on that. I'm leaning towards crazy like a fox. On the one hand, he partook of pretty much any drug he could get his hands on to 'expand his consciousness' (back them, most of them were legal and could be obtained from the drug store), and had sex with enough people he likely had every STD known to humanity at the time. On the other hand, he managed to gather a large enough following to actually found the Church of Satan, AND get it declared a legitimate religion so they could get tax breaks.

And by influencing Ozzy Osbourne and Black Sabbath, he gave literally hundreds of thousands of disaffected teens something else to annoy their parents with while they were busy rebelling again 'The Man' in the late 60s-early 70s.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Rabid Badger wrote:

Juries still out on that. I'm leaning towards crazy like a fox. On the one hand, he partook of pretty much any drug he could get his hands on to 'expand his consciousness' (back them, most of them were legal and could be obtained from the drug store), and had sex with enough people he likely had every STD known to humanity at the time. On the other hand, he managed to gather a large enough following to actually found the Church of Satan, AND get it declared a legitimate religion so they could get tax breaks.

Not the Church of Satan - that's Anton Szandor LaVey, former carnival worker.

Crowley did found the school of magic/philosophy known as Thelema, and unlike LaVey, he did claim supernatural origins for his writings.

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And by influencing Ozzy Osbourne and Black Sabbath, he gave literally hundreds of thousands of disaffected teens something else to annoy their parents with while they were busy rebelling again 'The Man' in the late 60s-early 70s.

Don't forget The Beatles and Led Zeppelin.

I remember reading somewhere that L. Ron Hubbard was also a disciple of Aleister Crowley.