Harry Potter and the Vagina of Wonders

This vile piece of trash can be found here. It's mercifully short, jam packed full of bad pr0n and OOCness. Lets start more or less at the beginning shall we, ask yourself if you can imagine seeing Ron and Harry have the following conversation.

Quote :

"What's wrong my love. You seem awful lonely. Shall we role play the porn video of Hermione and Hagrid to make you feel better?"

"I had a dream earlier. In that dream there was this vagina. It was as sweet as candy. I know I've seen it before, but I just can't remember where."

"I am so insulted! My eight inch long cock isn't good enough for you? I can't believe you would perfer a vagina. And you don't even like vaginas!"

"Your cock is much better than the vagina. But I once fucked that vagina. The only vagina I ever enjoyed. Yet I can't remember who it belonged to."

That's right, it's a MYSTERY vagina. You know, vaginas just vanish all the time. You just turn around and they're gone.

This particular vagina, however, turns up in Harry's dreams. Incidentally, he still cannot recall it's owner. We all know what it's like to fuck somebody and remember ONLY their genital organs... no? I didn't think so either.

Quote :

Harry again had a dream that night. In his dream, there was somebody's vagina sitting on the table. The rest of the person was blurred. Harry began to finger the vagina. He loved the way that felt. He then unzipped his navy blue jeans. He then inserted his five inch cock into the vagina.

"Oh my lord! You are the best vagina ever!" Harry shouted.

"You have the best dick ever! Harder you whore! Faster bitch! Faster!"

Woah! The cunt talks, literally. Then it vanished again never to return, THE END.

Quote :

"Harry, I know you have been looking for me. I have dreamed about you too," said the voice. Then the voice turned on the light.

It was Dumbledore. Harry gasped.

"But I thought you were male!" Harry shouted.

"Harry, don't you remember about my transplant I got two years ago? Don't you remember the night we got wild and fucked?" Harry stood puzzled for a couple seconds. Then he remembered.

That's right folks, You may forever be left wondering why Dumbledore has a vagina.

Quote :

That's right folks, You may forever be left wondering why Dumbledore has a vagina.

Because he's gay! And everyone knows that gay men are just like women!
[/sarcasm]

Quote :

"Sorry Harry. I got horny last night and did your shoes," His Wand said in an embarrassed voice. Harry growled. Then began to clean off his shoes.

Am I the only one who would feel slightly obligated to at least leave a note or something? Or oh, I don't know, clean off the shoes? If your wand can fuck shoes, it can clean them off after.

Quote :

"Everybody open to page 378. I will read the instructions on how to make the magical pot potion, then you will do as told. To first start, you put some weed in. Then you add Potion XWL. But Potion XWL is a player, you see. He was doing the piece of weed. They were quite happy together. Then he met this frizzy haired whore called Hermo- - -, I mean Potion NEL. He then leaves the beautiful weed and---," Professor Snape said. She then began to cry.

"Hagrid, How could you leave me for the frizzy haired bitch?" She ran out of the classroom in tears.

Oh, Hagrid. You're such a heartbreaker. *makes pot potion*

I remember this snarked on either the House or the very last bit of GAFF and one line of that snark struck me as dead hilarious, so I shall quote it here.

Quote :

Harry sighed. He then sat down on his couch and began to masturbate. He was watching anime mango lesbian porn.

Then it struck him.

Poor Harry. Even the weird, fruit porn doesn't like him.

KelinciHutan wrote:

I remember this snarked on either the House or the very last bit of GAFF and one line of that snark struck me as dead hilarious, so I shall quote it here.

Quote :

Harry sighed. He then sat down on his couch and began to masturbate. He was watching anime mango lesbian porn.

Then it struck him.

Poor Harry. Even the weird, fruit porn doesn't like him.

I want to know what struck him. The mango porn? The vagina? The ceiling falling on his head?

Rabid Badger wrote:

I want to know what struck him. The mango porn? The vagina? The ceiling falling on his head?

...his ejaculate?

I've done a reading of this one as well.

Oh my God. This made me laugh so hard. The title...the dialogue...Ron falling asleep with his penis still in Harry's butthole...the mystery vagina on the table...the shoes...the anime mango lesbian porn...the pot potion...the voice turning on the light...Dumbledore's panties...it's nothing but nonstop lulz.