Hardly Free-A Yugioh GX mpreg epic

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Disclaimer:
I am new at this business, so I cannot guarantee a quality snark. Of course, I’m working to make it as good as
I can, but I apologize in advance for bad jokes and/or boringness. I copied this from a Word document, so I also apologize for any font/sizing issues that slipped through my editing.

Now, as
for the story, the GX fandom does not have too much in the way of true
awfulness. It’s too small a fandom for Harry Potter-style craziness. Most of the badfic is just the usual
dime-a-dozen Mary Sues and OOCness. But
here, I think I’ve found something truly special.

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Hardly Free » reviews
Jaden
may seem like an ordinary teen, with teenager problems. But an old
childhood friend comes back and everything goes to hell. What more?
Jaden doesn’t tell anyone about what is happening to him, a big mistake
on his part. Full Summary Inside.Yu-Gi-Oh
GX - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 22 - Words:
38,965 - Reviews: 115 - Updated: 10-11-09 - Published: 8-24-08 - Jūdai
Y. & J. Manjōme - Complete

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Sometimes a story is best left unsaid, because most of the time it
isn’t very interesting to anyone, and sometimes not even to the one who
lived through the story as part of their life.

But guess what?! He’s going to tell it anyway! Too bad, too sad.

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My story is not so different from any other story that a person can think of,

Yes, just your ordinary, everyday story of rape, mpreg, and wangst.

Then they do the introductions, and it is critical that we know everyone’s full
name, and exactly how old they all are.

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First off, I would
like to say that my name is Jaden Yuki Kaiba-Princeton

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Now my mom is Joseph Wheeler-Kaiba

Oh come on, give the hyphens a break here! They’re already overtaxed with all those Mary
Sue names.

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My nii-san (older
brother) is only my half brother. His name is Kurai Seth Kaiba, age 17 when my
story begins. Now he is a guitarist of a band called Zone Me, yeah I know,
weird name for a band that sings dueling songs for an odd reason.

I think in the Yugioh world, it would actually be odder for
a band not to sing about dueling.

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He is currently dating a guy named Atticus Rhodes, age 17 as well; Atticus has a younger sister named Alexis Rhodes, who’s 16 years old. Atticus has a great singing voice, which of course
means he is the singer for the Zone Me band.

Atticus and Kurai have just gotten back together, reason being Atticus disappeared for a long time and is now
back. The Shadow Realm had taken him away forcibly; I rescued him by defeating
him in a duel, during my very first year at Duel Academy.

You mean the same Atticus whose horrible singing voice was a running joke in
the dub? Fubuki’s the one who’s the singer. If you want to use fangirl
Japanese and base it on the Japanese characters, why not use Japanese names?

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Now the youngest of us all is Saphira
June Kaiba, age zero when my story begins.

WAIT WAIT WAITTTT!!! You didn’t say how many months, weeks, and days old she was!
How can I go on without knowing this crucial information?

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My other 8 friends remain. And they
are Alexis Rhodes, Syrus or Sy Truesdale, Bastion Misawa, Aster Phoenix,
Tyranno Hassleberry, Chazz Princeton, Jesse Anderson, and Blair Flannigan. Each
one of my friends are unique in their own way and I am glad to call each one a
true friend and my friend.

I guess you can say that me making
friends is rather weird, well at least it is to my family. I have never been
friendly with anyone in my life after the first time I was raped by a childhood
friend.

My friends and I share a friendship of friendliness, because they're my friends. And they're friendly.

But he can’t tell us how they’re unique, because that would take time from
the glorious rapey action!

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One night he took me out to enjoy some
ice cream and we ditched my guards for the evening. I didn’t know he was to
rape me that night.

“Here’s your chocolate-rapeberry…er, I mean raspberry…swirl, Jaden! Huh?
Oh, that suspicious-looking
white powder? That’s just…a new kind of
topping. Yeah.”

If the author had actually put in a rape scene, I wouldn't quote it due to the forum rules. However, the author was lazy, so I can safely say that none of you are missing anything.

And THIS is just the first chapter. There's over twenty other chapters in this story, AND the author's working on a sequel. Tons o' fun.

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the bully didn’t like the Kaiba family name. Go figure!

My dad is only a thieving, cheating, elitist asshole. Go figure!

Haha, Joey has to be the 'mom'. WTF.

Now onto Chapter 2, which appropriately enough is entitled “Chapter 2”.

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Iceprincessisis3: Thanks for being my beta, and reading my chapters beforehand. You have no idea how much your work that you put into this story means to me.

Inumaru12: I update every two weeks so that my beta has time to check it over first. Both my beta and I are in college, so time is limited.

Oh, dear Lord…you’d think that somewhere along the lines, at least one of them would have taken some kind of biology by now.

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“Hey, Jay, I can’t believe we are getting another transfer student. We already have too many, no offense Jesse” speaks up Sy as I guzzle down my food.

“None taken” smiles Jesse.

“Yeah I know what you mean Sy. Ah well, let’s go meet this new student with a great big smile and a hello” I laugh, patting him on the back.

“You guys are so Slifer Dorks. I don’t even know why I bother hanging out with you guys” shrugs Chazz while getting up, ready to leave.

“Ah, it’s because we’re the only ones who’ll even talk to you, let alone let you hang out with us” smirks Hassleberry, getting up as well.

Looks like someone took the “Don’t use the word ‘said’” rule too seriously.

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As we walk up towards the school, I feel this sudden chill like something is not right and I shiver slightly because of it. Syrus notices that I stop dead in my tracks right before the doors into the school, coming back to see what’s wrong.

“Jay, are you ok?” asks Sy coming to stand next to me.

“Huh? Yeah, Sy, just a cold chill, I’ll be fine” I laugh nervously as I rub the back of my head, giving him a smile the best I could.

Yeah, it’s those lukewarm chills that are the real killer.

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“Welcome, everyone, I am proud to present a young man that has scored great on the entrance exams. He comes from Domino City, and he is really good at dueling. Will you please give me a round of applause for Markus Coronet” Chancellor Sheppard finishes saying as a young man with long black hair comes out onto the stage.

His obsidian eyes locked onto my golden brown eyes, and I know that my bad feeling was him coming to the school. He’s wearing skin tight black jeans with red flames, with a red belt, a skin tight sleeveless red shirt, and a silver chain with a gold ring on it hanging from his neck.

For some reason, I keep picturing a teenage Nelson Muntz with a dye job playing the role of Markus. I’m not sure if this makes things better or worse.

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I gasp in horror when I realize who it is. I need to get out of here! He’s not even allowed to be within fifty feet of me, but that only counts when I use my real name. As people know me as just Jaden Yuki the restraining order won’t go into effect, because only three people, including myself, know my real last name here.

Because gossip rags don’t exist in the Yugioh world. Or the Internet. Or common sense. I mean, his dad built the place. How could everyone be unaware of the connection?

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My body turns around, running out of the room.

His mind, on the other hand, splatted all over the floor as he was running. It was rather nasty to clean up.

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He wants me dead for telling Kurai about what he did to me, after he caught Markus raping me one evening. I am thankful that he walked in when he did or I would still be controlled by him, and I never would have been able to breathe in fresh air again.

Evidently, Markus has some issues with body odor.

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Once I turn the corner, I see Markus waiting for me. He is leaning up against the wall. I gulp as I try to remain calm and keep Jadai in check.

At first I was going to make a joke about Jaden changing his first name to go even deeper undercover, but then I realized that this was a multiple personality we have here. Isn’t the whole point of multiple personalities that the person doesn’t know they exist?

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“You, Jay baby, know I don’t like being run out on. Not when I haven’t a clue as to how to get around a strange place like this. I believe this calls for a punishment, don’t you, love” growls Markus walking up to me as I start to back away from him.

Okay, I think I’ve got it now. Markus is part Nelson Muntz, part Carl Sagan (due to random emphasizing of words), and part dog.

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“Jaden, Jaden, Jaden, when are you going to learn that you belong to me?” He shakes his head. “I own you, your mind, and your body belong to me and no one else. I shall never let you go, even if I have to hunt you down to the ends of the earth.”

(italics and bolding are from original story, BTW)

“And, so help me, I will talk using bolded italics until you are completely subdued! Also, ha ha!”

Just read the first chapter.

OH...DEAR....GOD. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

And I thought "Chocobo Nights" was bad. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] It looks like Pulitzer Prize material compared to "Hardly Free". The first paragraphs of "Free" alone are an exercise in weapons-grade suck, and it rapidly goes downhill from there. I couldn't even bring myself to read the end of the story.

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I know it’s the first chapter and all but I promise it will get better.

Uh...no. It won't. Mpreg fics in general are made of fail, but "Hardly Free" takes it to a whole new plateau. I'm convinced DarkAngelFrom Mercury is either (A)a North Korean undercover agent sent to undermine this country by frying our brains with badfic; (B)Lemon Master's secret love child; or (C)a crack addict who churned this out while coming down from their latest high.

Dear God, there's a sequel!

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EileenK98 wrote:

Dear God, there's a sequel!

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Sadly, I was already aware of that. I'm planning to snark that one too, if I can keep my sanity or someone else doesn't have a burning desire to snark it his/herself.

EileenK98 wrote:

Dear God, there's a sequel!

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Trust me, God had nothing to do with it. It's the work of Satan.

Quick note…I’m doing this snark Zeiss-style (i.e. not reading ahead). I’ll be nearly as in the dark as all of you about future plot points, though I did skim the first chapter of the sequel.

We begin the third chapter in the infirmary, where Markus is fudging the truth a bit:

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“I found him on top of the school roof, all beaten up. I’m not sure what could have happened to him, Nurse” lies Markus through the skin of his teeth.

Yay, biblical mixed metaphors! I know, how about this one: It’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for anyone to fall for that story.

…Anyone, that is, except for the school nurse.

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“I see, he’s very hurt and I’m not sure he will heal right off. He has always had a problem staying out of the Hospital Wing. Now, Mr. Coronet, what where you doing on the roof of the school building?” speaks Miss. Fontana.

“I just wanted to see what the school campus looked like from a spot where you can see everything, Miss” lies Markus again.

But hold everything, because it's time to subtly introduce a plot point.

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“Of course, I won’t go back up there. I don’t want to get into trouble, I just got here. It could have been Chazz Princeton, I believe. I saw him walking off the roof before I went up. He could have done it” speaks Markus.

“I’m not sure Chazz would do that. Chazz is friends with Jaden, the two are always helping each other out. It may seem like Chazz hates Jaden but in truth, Chazz owes a lot to Jaden” speaks Miss. Fontana.

I wonder why she doesn’t suspect Markus of being my attacker; maybe it is the way he is talking to her that is letting him get away with it. I can’t believe he just put the blame on Chazz. Chazz would never harm me, that is beneath him.

Aannnd…we have a love interest!

By the way, the name of the nurse is actually Miss Fontaine.

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“Oh no, you don’t, you are not going anywhere young man” she growls out while trying to push me back down to lie down.

It appears that growling is contagious on this campus…someone should check to see if Markus is rabid.

Nothing much else happens in this chapter. More of Jaden alternating between thinking, “I WON’T let him control me!” and “Oh damn, I’m letting him control me!” This story is starting to get a tad repetitive. Well, even more so than it was already.

Since this sporking was so short…on to Chapter 4! Jaden is back in his dorm room, doing more angsting.

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“Kur” says Winged Kuriboh.

Uh…no. In the dub, Winged Kuriboh makes a “Wooooooo” sound. It is not a Pokemon, no matter how much it may resemble one.

And now we have a lemon scene, but any possible suspense is ruined by this:

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Dream Sequence:

Uh…yeah. Way to go there.
Not one word of the “rape scene” is original in any way, so I see no reason to quote it.

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I know, so maybe we should hang out with Syrus and Hassleberry all day; well it looks like I won’t be able to sleep anymore thanks to the nightmare of memories.

(emphasis mine)

Psst…the booster pack names are silly enough already. Don’t give Konami any ideas.

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I gasp in horror when I realize who it is. I need to get out of here!
He’s not even allowed to be within fifty feet of me, but that only
counts when I use my real name. As people know me as just Jaden Yuki
the restraining order won’t go into effect, because only three people,
including myself, know my real last name here.

Speaking as someone in law enforcement, I can tell you that's not remotely how it works.

Now we finally get into the main plot! Kind of. Maybe.

Let's see...more angst, talking with Chazz...I hope I can even find some snarkable quotes here. Ah, here we are!

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“Dad has already taken care of the media with a gag order. They can’t say a thing, and they can’t follow me around. My home is hectic. They’re not used to me being away, or making friends. They are worried my past will catch up with me. I hate being treated like a Kaiba, I don’t care about fame, or popularity,” I say shrugging my shoulders.

“My family has pulled out all the stops to protect me. Goddamnit, do I ever hate them!”

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Moving about the room, I can feel my mind wonder to Chazz and his body, maybe I have a crush on him. He may be the answers to my prayers, but I don’t want him to get hurt by Markus, so maybe I should back off.

I wouldn’t mind dating Chazz, I mean he does have a cute body, and I bet his body under those clothes is simply beautiful.

(emphasis is from actual fic)

FYI, this is the Hunk o’ Manhood that Jaden’s fantasizing about.

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(Watch 3:30 to 3:55)

There is an earlier episode where he looks more normal, but eh, this is funnier!

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I know he is watching me; he’s trying to figure out what my problem is through observation of the eye.

When he wasn’t doing that, he was hearing with his ears.

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I’m still surprised that Chazz found out what my real last name is

Why would it be surprising? Chazz’s family has a bit of influence itself. If anyone would find this out, it would be him.

And now, a special word from our sponsor beta.

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Note from Iceprincessisis3: You people better be thankful that you got this many chapters so far because none of you know how much I go through just to fix this up a bit for my best friend. Lol, I’m just joking around with you people. Oh, and by the way, don’t even think of flaming the author, because you just might end up with your own little flame as well. On a lighter note, I hope you guys are enjoying reading this fic as much as I enjoyed fixing it up a little for my good friend The Dark Angel From Mercury. Please leave her a review, I know she’d appreciate it, and so would I.

Did everyone read that? I bet you’re all really scared!

Okay, so I was wrong about there being any plot. Perhaps next chapter…?
Nope, still nothing. Just Jaden talking on the phone with his “Mom”. Absolutely nothing to note here…

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I can’t tell him, I can’t even tell him about the rape that happened last year, thanks to the Princeton brothers. Slade raped me, while Jagger held me down, he raped me a couple of times, and of course I don’t need to tell you that.

He also got you pregnant, I don’t need to remind you how that turned out, do I, because it is not pretty. You having a miscarriage right before you go home for the summer time, your parents could have found out then.

..Wait, what?



I’m confused. Who is raping whom here?!?

…I think I should just leave it there. That’s quite enough ambiguous pronoun usage for one night.

I'm sorry for the delay, everyone, but I seem to be experiencing snark burnout. Nothing in this fic makes any sense and it makes me want to RAEG. Also, my college professors must think it's amusing to all assign work at the same time. I've been so exhausted that I have no energy left for snarks. Maybe I can do something this weekend.