Jeremy: A Story of Tradjic Ending

This one dates back to 2002: ( http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1123476/1/ ) and I'm impressed it's still up. If you remember the show Rugrats, try not to remember them as mopey emo teenagers obsessed with being gay and suicide. This is a songfic, but it takes a good few minutes to figure that out from reading it.

Quote :

Tommy and Jeremy were talking to eachother on the way to the interrupted for a few seconds, saying,"Goodbye, faggot!" then he ran said to Jeremy,"Jake is such a pain in the ass!""I know." Jeremy replied.

I can't help but think in the author's haste to put it up on Fanfiction.net, "LaneOfFlud011" just plain forgot to put in a few words - like the object of the sentence. The characters are also apparently interrupting themselves and running to each other, despite being close by.

Quote :

Tommy and Dil were walking to the front door of their house."Why are you talking to that looser?" asked Dil."He's not a looser!He's just different." replied Tommy.

"He was tight when I got to him, bitch!"

Quote :

Tommy rang the doorbell and waited for Jeremy's mom to answer the opened it and said,"Hi, Tommy!Jeremy's in the living room.I'm leaving to get 's pizza in the kitchen if you're hungry.""Thanks, ." replied Tommy."Bye."

I routinely obtain pizza for my unnamed imaginary friends. It tends to make an awful mess on the rug when they eat it, though.

Quote :

"Yeah, that's right." answered 's pencil was about to fall off the and Jeremy caught it at the same time, causing their hands to gently pulled his hand back, saying,"Thanks."

First it's the invisible friends, now he has pencils talking to him while he has to cause his hands to do things. I mean, most people don't have to cause their hands to do anything...

Quote :

and he went to the got up

I've been to a lot of things - raves, house parties, frat parties, engineer parties, and block parties, but I don't think I've ever been to a got-up. Do they sell Ecstasy at those?

Quote :

and he decided to go to Jeremy's art room and looked at his of the paintings had a Picasso-like look to was a desk labled "Sketches" at the one corner of the pulled out a picture, looked at it, and was shocked at what it was looking at a frontal nude picture of him taking a shower at the school the back of the picture, words were written on it,

"Next time, don't use the garden hose outside the kindergarten room or we'll press charges!"

Quote :

completed Jeremy laid his right hand on Tommy's pelvic area

I can just picture Ralph Wiggum saying "Ow! My area!" Even then, it's still better than picturing Zombie!Jeremy, bits of flesh falling away, reaching for Tommy's mysterious "pelvic area".

Quote :

It was was walking down the school glanced at all the paintings Jeremy was widely known by the principal for Tommy quickly turned he saw a Jeremy painting, he was reminded of last night.A few minutes later, he was sitting in walked in the doorway, handing the teacher Tommy's books."Give these to Tommy." he softly he just stood there, facing the class, and he took out a put the end of it in his mouth and pulled the bullet made Jeremy's head explode like dynomite, causing blood and brains to splatter all over screaming students.

And there's my new signature for the beginning of December! "Widely known by the principal" is such a great unintentional euphemism, but I enjoyed him walking while sitting through the doorway and how he put the end of the class in his mouth, causing his head to explode.

Quote :

There was an early dismissal that invited all his friends over at his house to calm eachother's news came on about what reporter said,"A tradjedy has taken place at the local high school.14-year-old Jeremy Miryon commited suicide in front of his classmates, causing everyone to be in are some items we obtained that belonged to the boy."And they showed a notebook, a painting, and a school picture of Tommy with the words,"HOW COULD YOU!!!" scribbled on just sat there in has yet to forget about it.

Calming each other's news about "tradjedy" when paintings have yet to forget about it? This sort of depravity shocks the conscience!

Bonus points if anyone figures out why the author randomly inserts the lyrics to entire songs without explanation!

Quote :

Jake approached Jeremy and knocked the notebook out of his then picked it up, flipped through it, and laughed."What the hell is this?It's a bunch of scribbles!""Gimme it!" Jeremy took out a lighter and set the notebook to you can have it back!Haha!" Jake got furious and socked Jake in the just snorted.

Who did what to where, now?

See, kids, this is why you always preview before you post. Check your formatting.

Holy fuck it's Heywood.

The reason they put all the lyrics in the story is that a few years back, The Pit banned posting songfics that consisted of nothing but the lyrics, with maybe a couple of sentences inserted, and calling it a 'story.' Not that it stopped people from doing it anyway, but apparently, this author was at least trying to uphold the letter of the law. Actually, that might explain the schizoid nature of the fanfic-they were working so hard to fit all the lyrics in, they forgot about the story they were trying to tell. Or they suffer from some form of aphasia that makes them forget to include large chunks of writing that would make their sentences readable. I read this twice, and I'm STILL not entirely sure what's going on (except that Jeremy shot himself in class, but that's a given).

The really tragic thing is that this story was ever allowed to be posted online.

Heywood wrote:

Quote :

Tommy and Dil were walking to the front door of their house."Why are you talking to that looser?" asked Dil."He's not a looser!He's just different." replied Tommy.

"He was tight when I got to him, bitch!"

Maybe it is bad manners to reply to a thread without having anything at all to add, but I just had to say this line made me lol >.<