can i buy ur story pls?

ETA: Waitaminute, this isn't Fanfic Tropes. Christ on a stick I need to get to bed.

Came home from dinner at my grandparent's place to find this:

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My would-be buyer's account isn't even a week old and has zero activity. That got me wondering, has anyone else here gotten crazy messages from readers and/or possible scammers?

I hope you know that you are a Bad Nerd, because a Good Nerd would respond with something like this:

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A hundred of the earth dollars!

and again

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Am I the only one that's caught the eye of this increasingly probable spambot?

I figure these people are so very, VERY bad at writing, they actually want to pay YOU so that they can pretend it's their writing. Jesus, what kind of person is THAT bad at writing and THAT lazy and THAT wealthy? Most people who are bad at writing don't even know it...

Or maybe they think they can make a movie out of it. Damn.