Man Sought In Thanksgiving Day Rampage

Double post, somehow.

Quote :

just like I
wouldn't expect any of you guys to know the ins and outs of British
literature or Biology do I?

WHAT

...Wait are we being trolled.

Mafiosa wrote:

Quote :

just like I
wouldn't expect any of you guys to know the ins and outs of British
literature or Biology do I?

WHAT

...Wait are we being trolled.

Hey, Mafi, incase you are wondering. Those are two things I know about and yet don't act all surprised and condescending when I meet somebody who doesn't, that's the point.

Somath Cegem wrote:

Mafiosa wrote:

Quote :

just like I
wouldn't expect any of you guys to know the ins and outs of British
literature or Biology do I?

WHAT

...Wait are we being trolled.

Hey, Mafi, encase

Stopped reading.

So yeah, about that Thanksgiving rampage. I feel like that almost every holiday.

Mafiosa wrote:

Somath Cegem wrote:

Mafiosa wrote:

Quote :

just like I
wouldn't expect any of you guys to know the ins and outs of British
literature or Biology do I?

WHAT

...Wait are we being trolled.

Hey, Mafi, encase

Stopped reading.

Fucking spell checker lied to me.

Somath Cegem wrote:

Fucking spell checker lied to me.

Gotta be careful with spell checkers; they'd technically say that this sentence was correct:

Eye sea yew their.

I wonder what's been going on in that family for things to have been building toward this. Real or imagined, there had to be something happening that, in the shooter's mind, warranted it. It's just appalling that he felt it had to be dealt with like that. How awful for the family members who're left.

Seconding whichever poster suggested disowning family members. It's worked for us. We have a couple of relatives that would have to work to be considered absolutely batshit (not actually crazy, just volatile and kind of disturbing personalities) that have separated themselves from the family. There are far fewer holiday fights and tantrums now.

Somath Cegem wrote:

Sloth wrote:

Quote :

I'm ever so sorry my knowledge lies in a different area than the rest of you.

Basic cultural literacy plz.

I'm English I don't need to know shit about American books, just like I
wouldn't expect any of you guys to know the ins and outs of British
literature or Biology do I?

Um, just throwing it out there, but I'm finishing my MA in English, and I do a substantial amount of work in British Modernism and contemporary lit. Not as much as American lit, but I'd like to think I can hold my own with the folks we have (all American-born) who're British lit scholars exclusively. As in, they built their careers on it. And yeah, there's British lit that's part of general cultural literacy, just like there's American lit that is, too.

Just sayin'.

theweirdkind wrote:

So yeah, about that Thanksgiving rampage. I feel like that almost every holiday.

This was the first Thanksgiving that wasn't absolutely miserable. Probably because most of the local family members didn't show up. We cooked for 13 people, and we only had five total, but the sheer volumes of leftover turkey was worth it to not have to referee fights (my job) and deal with relatives who take passive-aggressive behavior to new heights.

I read somewhere that most family domestic disputes that end in people getting killed tend to occur on either Thanksgiving or Christmas. The stress of the holidays, combined with so many people's belief that everything has to be just absolutely perfect or it's all ruined, makes it the worst time of the year as far as suicides and homicides go.

Part of it, I imagine, is that you've got lots of family members you don't see at any other time of the year, some of whom you don't particularly like, and societal rules require that you make nice with them when you don't feel like it. A few too many drinks, access to a gun or weapon of some kind, and you've got a possible homicide on your hands.

I also recall that the pattern tends to be pretty much worldwide in countries that celebrate Christmas. Which means it's as likely to happen in the UK, Finland, Italy, France or anywhere else in the EU as it is to occur in the US and Canada.

I think the original discussion about literature was about American writers than won the Nobel Prize. None of the names mentioned won it... Nobel wasn't even born when Edgar Allan Poe was writing.

Joyce Carol Oats was mentioned as a candidate, but I've read some of her stuff and she ain't that great a writer. Kinda...bland. Perfectly executed, but bland.

But Toni Morrison DID win in 1993 and she's pretty awesome. Which brings up another problem I was going to mention; Toni Morrison is OLD. I haven't heard of any young American writer that screams, OMG MUST WORSHIP lately.

Also! I like X-Mas, but can and will disown family members without mercy if given chance. Life is too short to fake smiles when I should be eating Turkey.

Ceres wrote:

I think the original discussion about literature was about American writers than won the Nobel Prize.

No...

Ceres wrote:

None of the names mentioned won it...

Hemingway did.

Also, the Nobel prize was not mentioned a single time.

Back to the topic at hand, I am considering massacring my crazy extended family next Thanksgiving. I was considering mowing them all down with a high powered weapon, but that's too expensive. So my only other recourse has been stuffing D-con into the turkey. Any better ideas?

First, what the fuck happened in the past three pages?

Second, Slothy, kill them individually during the night in a horror movie fashion. Film it. ???? PROFIT!!!

Sloth wrote:

Back to the topic at hand, I am considering massacring my crazy extended family next Thanksgiving. I was considering mowing them all down with a high powered weapon, but that's too expensive. So my only other recourse has been stuffing D-con into the turkey. Any better ideas?

Give them Toni Morrison novels to read, and they'll kill themselves; the books are that depressing. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

rachel wrote:

Give them Toni Morrison novels to read, and they'll kill themselves; the books are that depressing. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I like this idea. But I think distributing copies of Twilight and Eragon would do the trick as well. Actually, if I can con them into seeing Full Moon, I might be able to get it done in one fell swoop.

Somath Cegem wrote:

Sloth wrote:

Quote :

I'm ever so sorry my knowledge lies in a different area than the rest of you.

Basic cultural literacy plz.

I'm English I don't need to know shit about American books, just like I
wouldn't expect any of you guys to know the ins and outs of British
literature or Biology do I?

... I happen to have a working knowledge of both American literature and British literature - and biology. And I'm Swedish.

It's not that you need to know about American books, Somath - it's that being British does not mean you are somehow isolated from American culture.


And re: Nobel Prize. It all started with Somath claiming that America had contributed nothing good to the world, and I mentioned space age tech and "some good writers", and in the latter comment, I decided to insult Horace Engdahl, who until last year was on the Nobel Committee for the Literature Prize. Why everyone decided to run with the author listing, I don't know.

With that said, let's move the fuck on now.

Um...this is probably my fault. I sniped at Harley, Somath sniped back at me, I made a crack about TV...and this happened.

I was joking about the TV thing too.

Hm. What has American ingenuity via their inventors brought to the table? Let us see.

Alexander Graham Bell: the telephone
Henry Ford: the assembly line
Willis Carrier: air conditioning
Charles Goodyear: vulcanized rubber
Eli Whitney: the cotton gin
Samuel Morse: the telegraph and morse code
Dr. Jonas Salk: polio vaccine
Orville & Wilbur Wright: the airplane
Thomas Alva Edison: lightbulb, phonograph, and the fluoroscope
Vladimir Kozmich Zworykin: television
Benjamin Franklin: bi-focal glasses
And so many, many more.

Nah. Americans have contributed nothing to the world and the comfort level we live with now. *adds fuel to the wank*

EDIT: I would move on but you guys posted while I was typing this out!

I thought a woman invented the cotton gin and Eli Whitney stole the patent?

Lapin wrote:

I thought a woman invented the cotton gin and Eli Whitney stole the patent?

According to Wikipedia, a woman suggested using a brush like mechanism to seperate out the seeds. Women evidently could not apply for or hold patents then, so Whitney was the only one credited for the invention. There's no solid proof one way or another though.

Which, interesting, Lapin! I didn't know about the possible other inventor of it. Either way, she was still an American.

It would be a filthy maxxle who would kill the womyn arround him.

I always thought she got a bad deal, if its for real. She came up with it, and he gets the credit and gets lauded for it to this day. There's some kind of beatdown going down in the afterlife, if so.

Quote :

Henry Ford: the assembly line

Actually, that was probably a Brunel, who did it for ships. But Ford did do it for cars, which was nice.

Quote :

Vladimir Kozmich Zworykin: television

Wikipedia informs me that it was either a German chap called Nipkow, and a Scotsman (British fellow!) John Logie Baird.

frostflowers wrote:

It all started with Somath claiming that America had contributed nothing good to the world, .

Yeah, No.

me yesterday wrote:

Not that I don't love most of our American posters as individuals, but
you have to admit your country doesn't half like to share it's crap
with the world.

Claiming America has an awful habit of sharing around alot of its bad shit =/= saying they've never done anything good.
At least try to get your facts straight before blaming the dog pile on the daft sod at the bottom.