Godawful fucking levels

Xenogears. Babel tower. A horrible, horrible platforming section in a game not even remotely designed for platforming, with random encounters that make you drop like a stone if you get one in mid-jump.

V3N0M wrote:

Mine is the mission in San Andreas where you have to take out the plastics factory where the Mafia is making fake casino chips.

Mine was Supply Lines, aka that damn stupid mission with the stupid RC plane. It's hell on the PS2 version, because the plane controls like shit that was shat on, and the time window is so fucking narrow.

To get to the final mission, you have to secure territory for your gang. Again, the PS2 version has a quirk that makes it harder: if you bring too many gang members with you, the enemy gangsters just DON'T APPEAR AT ALL. You can hunt and kill rival gang members all day long with your 4 or 6 friends, but the groups that start a gang war when killed don't show up if you have more than 2 allies.

First of all, let me just say that I loved Majora's Mask. Loved it. Thought it was awesome. Loved Ocarina, too. Didn't have too much trouble with the water temples of either game, though that probably had a lot to do with luck.

Oh no, what got me was Snowhead.
Mother****in' Goron rollin' along tiny-ass passes with f***in' huge-ass drops into Ganon-Knows-What below, jumpin' stupid-ass f***in' huge gaps with your mother****in' Goron rollin' skillz that don't control worth SH**. Not to mention changin' goddamn mother****in' masks more often than you changed the goddamn mother****in' boots in the goddamn OoT Water Temple. AND GOOD LUCK HITTING ANYTHING WHEN IN GORON FORM, YOU SLOW-ASS MOTHER****ER.

And you know what else got me?
The goddamn Stone Tower Temple.
I didn't mind the confusing-ass mazeishness of it all (too much.)
I didn't mind the innumerable and easy-to-f***-up statue puzzles (too much.)
I didn't even mind the constant backtracking (okay, that's a lie, I did mind; but it still wasn't as bad as Phantom Hourglass.)
So what did I mind?
The goddamned, motherfucking, cocksucking, sisterwhoring BULLSHIT that was THIS ROOM.
Do any of you recognize it? It's the hell room where you have to charge up a series of mirrors with your stupidly-hard-to-aim mirror shield WHILE BEING HARASSED BY GODDAMNED BATS BLACK BOES. Oh, and did I mention that they RESPAWN INFINITELY? SLIGHTLY FASTER THAN YOU CAN CHARGE THE MIRRORS? AND DID I MENTION THAT THE CHARGE WEARS OFF AFTER A STUPIDLY SHORT TIME, LEAVING YOU JUST BARELY ENOUGH TIME TO CHARGE THE NEXT MIRROR IF YOU DO IT PERFECTLY? AND HOW FINICKY THE POSITIONING FOR CHARGING SAID MIRRORS IS? AND THAT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKING SISTERWHORING BLACK BOES WILL KNOCK YOU SIDEWAYS WHEN THEY HIT YOU???

NOW DO YOU SEE WHY I AM REDUCED TO A PUDDLE OF CAPSLOCKING RAEG BY THE SHEER MEMORY OF THAT ROOM ALONE??? NOW DO YOU SEE???!

*cries for a while*
I wanna know what kind of sick, sadistic bastard comes up with these things and then markets them to INNOCENT CHILDREN.
*cries moar*

At least Black Boes are easy kills - just imagine if they were, say, Ice Keese. Those bastards love hanging out of range of Z-Targeting and then swooping down from behind when you're occupied doing something else. In the time it takes for you to get free from the ice, they're already out of range again.
Fire Keese are just marginally less annoying, because at least you can run while they set you on fire.

When I see them in a room, I do nothing until I've killed them all.

Boo.

Playing Earthbound out of curiosity that sprouted from SSB. I'm having so much motherfucking fun it should be illegal, but I'm having so much trouble with Fourside's department store. They take the girl, throw hot coffee at me, and when I die I respawn in the fucking desert. I just.. AGH. And the guitars. Oh the guitars.

Exodia's Right Leg wrote:

At least Black Boes are easy kills - just imagine if they were, say, Ice Keese. Those bastards love hanging out of range of Z-Targeting and then swooping down from behind when you're occupied doing something else. In the time it takes for you to get free from the ice, they're already out of range again.
Fire Keese are just marginally less annoying, because at least you can run while they set you on fire.

When I see them in a room, I do nothing until I've killed them all.

Oh, good point. I'm the same way with the little bastards.

I love R-Type games. I haven't played Final due to the lack of a PS2, but I've played the first two games, I played Command (God knows why), and thanks to the PSN, I played Delta.

R-Type isn't like other games: rather than having you get by with twitch reflexes, a lot of acheiving mastery comes down to stage memorization. You will die a TON of times memorizing boss patterns, stage hazards, enemy spawns, the lot.

This can go from challenging to cruel in a heartbeat.

Case in point: most of the games love to do this thing in a stage where you're going backwards. You know, where you're pointing right, the screen is scrolling away from where you're pointing and/or everything is spawning and firing from behind you. God help you if you get killed from the environment or anything firing on you that you didn't expect, as is the way of R-Type games, and continue midway through the level with no Force to cover your ass or give you some way to fire backwards. Oh yeah, and did I forget to mention most Wave Cannons in R-Type games won't let you fire straight backwards? They didn't let you in R-Types 1-3, the Cerberus' Wave Cannon in Delta didn't REALLY let you fire backwards, and in R-Type Final, there aren't that many Wave Cannons that can fire backwards.

The game expects you to still have a Force powered up past Level 1 at these points so you CAN fire backwards.

Don't have one? Enjoy being relatively helpless whilst Irem figures out what unpleasant hazards to ram up your rear end until the boss fight.

Manny wrote:

Bamshalam wrote:

Fuck the fucking Final Cave.

Wait 'til you manage to get to the final final level, the Sanctuary (a.k.a. Hell).

To this day I have not completed it.

The Sanctuary makes the Final Cave look like Curious George Learns Phonics.

I am not overestimating its difficulty.

I second and third Kitbug and Mikey on Final Fantasy X's various Sigil sidequests.

God damn it that's the second time I agreed with Mikey about something.

Final Cave was frustrating but doable. I still haven't completed Sanctuary either. And I lost my saved games last year because I had to reformat Its second name, Hell, is more than suitable to describe the area.

Sigil sidequests were a pain in the ass. It's half the reason why I never finished the game. Chocobo races and Blitzball can suck my nonexistent dick. Strangely, I did the thunder jumping almost right away (3rd try, first two tries had less than 25 jumps). I have to blame someone who used to be my friend for the other reason, because she told me about that pansy final battle.

Various stages on Mario: Lost Levels. Crazy fun but I could do without the "get the jump on the spring right or you die" parts.

The flying ship level of Mario Bros 3. I usually just skipped the whole thing with a P-wing.

Oh, here's one I just remembered.

Fuck you, turning washing machine-like segment in the second-to-last level of Little Big Planet. Fuck you, fuck you hard, and follow that up with a fisting. With brass knuckles.

I didn't mind the Water Temple. So long as I remembered to get the key hidden in the second level in the east wall. Shadow Temple too, when I wasn't shitting myself in absolute terror of the ReDead and Gibdos.

But what absolutely gets me was the entire temple to get Pandora's Box in God of War. Mien gotts what the fuck?! It wasn't enough of an ordeal getting into the second ring, you have put more face to stomp? Fuck this shit!

I fucking hate the Cerberus you have to fight and endless number of infinitely spawning fuck-munches while you're trying to push Rob Paulsen-voiced Greek Wimpicles up the incline! How frustrating is that, to stop to kick ass, push a few inches only to have FIVE HUNDRED FUCKING MORE OF THEM stabbing you in the ass?!

Just for fun, I decided to play some old Genesis games. Currently stuck on El Viento. God, El Viento.

There's this one stage where a new enemy appears. Some kind of bat-dragon-thingy.
They attack by clipping into my character's sprite, where most of my attacks can't hit them.
Since there's no mercy invincibility and they do damage with every time they make contact, they can kill me in seconds.
Running away doesn't work because they're faster.

Did I mention there's a METRIC FUCKTON of them spawning EVERY FIVE SECONDS from ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE? ?

Ah, and there's no extra lives in the game. Die once, game over. Fun.

Has anyone said the White Forest defense in Half Life 2 Ep 2 yet? Not only do all those Striders you have to destroy keep blowing up all the bomb-spawners you need, but they're all accompanied by 2-3 Hunters each, the second-toughest enemies in the game. Doesn't help that THEY'RE also trying to destroy your bombs too. The Strider/Hunter combo is manageable one at a time, but then when they ALL come pouring in, that's when it reaches break-your-keyboard-over-your-knee level of frustration. Seriously, was Valve TRYING to get us to use sv_cheats?

Speaking of "hordes of baddies for a final boss" levels, anyone here play The Conduit? The first level takes place 5 days into the game's events, and your character Mr. Ford is equipped with a cool armor suit that reduces damage and can regenerate health. So at the end of the third level, it's just you against a shitload of baddies and baddie spawners, the spawners of course are holed up in a pretty good defensive building with only one narrow access route. You've only got one healthkit lying out of harm's way, so that's good enough, right? After all by now you've gotten that fancy body ar-LOLOLOLOLOLOL NOT YET. No, you have to fight through a goddamn SEA of mid-level baddies firing at you from everywhere, infinitely respawning from inside that tucked-away fortress, and just one wimpy kit for your health needs.

And of course, it's the start of the VERY next level that you get that suit. Great timing, HVS.

Replaying Freespace and Freespace 2 lately has reminded me of the some of the more...ridiculous moments.

Playing Judas: In a captured Shivan dragon-class fighter, spy on the Shivans rallying around a jumppoint as they bring in reinforcements. Scan every ship that jumps in, as well as all the cargo containers floating around. Do not approach the legit dragons patrolling, or the sentry guns, or your cover is blown. Sound annoying already? Your captured dragon is busted; dragons are notorious for being ridiculously fast, ridiculously maneuverable and having a shape that's plain hard to hit besides; yours goes at about half speed, has an afterburner that increases your speed by about ten kph (afterburners usually give you a +60 boost, depending on the fighter) and is less maneuverable. You can have ten seconds of warning before the Shivans get too close, and this may not be enough for your broke-ass dragon to get far enough away from them to avoid detection. As larger capital ships jump in, the take longer to scan. If you have to abort because the Shivan fighters are approaching, you need to start the scan all over. Then the SD Lucifer unexpectedly jumps in; you have to scan it (takes almost a minute, easy to accidentally mis-aslign the scanner and blow it) THEN you have to try to get inside its fighter bay, at which point your cover is blown, and you have to survive until your jump drive starts working again. You can't even leave right away once this horrible mission is accomplished.

Bearbaiting: The Sathanas Juggernaut is approaching a jump node; before it gets there, bomb at least two of its forward cannons so the Colossus, blockading the other side of the node, will survive, then destroy the SD Beleth before it reaches the node. You can't select your loadout, and your bomber only has enough bombs to destroy two of the cannons without reloading. Because of the way the cannons are built, it's easy to come at them from a bad angle and wiff the shot, wasting your ammunition. Also, your bombs have a 30-second cooldown time between shots. It's possible to get all four, but this requires, essentially, researching the mission and planning out when the best time to plan your reload is, when and how to specifically allocate system power, etc. Even if you manage this, it's possible to blow secondary objectives when the Beleth jumps in; you have to quickly destroy its cannons or it will wipe the floor with the friendly capital ship in the area. If you're going for a perfect run, you'll have to start over. if you're struggling and you're just glad it's almost over, letting the Beleth through fails the mission and you have to do the first part all over again. As if this wasn't enough, if the Sathanas still has two cannons come the next mission, it can still destroy the Colossus if you're not fast enough in destroying them. As if the game is insulting you, you can get a perfect run on this mission and the plot still demands the Colossus suffers so much damage it will be in drydock for months (caused by over-loading their own guns to the point of melting during the fight, no less.)

Exodus: Escort a civilian convoy to a jump node as they run their asses off from a massive Shivan assault. When the mission starts, the first thing you see is a Vasudan corvette on its last legs exchanging fire with a Shivan corvette. To save the friendly corvette, you have to plan ahead to carry a specific missile that can one-shot the Shivan's corvette's forward cannon, then you have to haul ass and destroy two wings of bombers bearing down on the friendly. You also have to shoot down their bombs, because they start launching about five seconds in. When the Shivan corvette goes down, more bombers jump in. The mission designer was so confidant you wouldn't save the friendly corvette that if you somehow manage it, it just sits around, there's no scripting for it to leave or a bonus objective for the work. Even if it survives, the rest of the mission consists of insane waves of bombers, interceptors protecting the bombers from you, and a cruiser jumping in with a cannon that has to be destroyed or it can one-shot half the convoy. Getting even half the convoy to the node is an epic accomplishment.

the asylum wrote:

Has anyone said the White Forest defense in Half Life 2 Ep 2 yet? Not only do all those Striders you have to destroy keep blowing up all the bomb-spawners you need, but they're all accompanied by 2-3 Hunters each, the second-toughest enemies in the game. Doesn't help that THEY'RE also trying to destroy your bombs too. The Strider/Hunter combo is manageable one at a time, but then when they ALL come pouring in, that's when it reaches break-your-keyboard-over-your-knee level of frustration. Seriously, was Valve TRYING to get us to use sv_cheats?

The hunters are significantly easier to deal with if you know the trick to them; grab some random debris with the gravity gun and use it as a shield from their little exploding barb things. When they stick into your debris and are about to explode, fling the whole thing back at the hunter.

the asylum wrote:

Has anyone said the White Forest defense in Half Life 2 Ep 2 yet? Not only do all those Striders you have to destroy keep blowing up all the bomb-spawners you need, but they're all accompanied by 2-3 Hunters each, the second-toughest enemies in the game. Doesn't help that THEY'RE also trying to destroy your bombs too. The Strider/Hunter combo is manageable one at a time, but then when they ALL come pouring in, that's when it reaches break-your-keyboard-over-your-knee level of frustration. Seriously, was Valve TRYING to get us to use sv_cheats?

Except you're a massive whiner because that mission is fucking awesome. Hunters are very easy to kill with the tools you have available - you can get at least one with the car, the rest with the oh-so-convienient logs scattered about, which they love sticking their flechettes into so you can throw 'em right back. Plus, there's a nice little radar to help you figure out where they're coming from and with how many hunters. And they never destroy every bomb-spawner. And...well, really, just put some thought into it instead of spamming your assault rifle or whatever, dude. It's really not that hard.

Necro-posting because fuck you, I'm irate!

I know I ranted before about God of War pushing the tribute to sacrifice up the incline, that was irritating. The water level alone was fucking pointless other than to frustrate you with the walls of doom that splatter you. Those were a lot easier to handle if you had a cool head.

But who in all of the Pantheons of the world allowed someone to design the deathtrap of HADES?! From the very start, the simple platforming that you're familiar with eases you into a false sense of security as you soon realize that was the just the fun part! Then you have to traverse spinning bladed balance-beams of doom! As if that didn't sound like fun, the beams will change directions right under you! And that's just the easy part!

You want godawful? It gets even better when you have to climb not one, but TWO bladed spinning walls! It's made only more ridiculous when you can clearly see the end, and you get knocked all the way back to the bottom. Who designed this fucking level?

TheIan wrote:

You want godawful? It gets even better when you have to climb not one, but TWO bladed spinning walls! It's made only more ridiculous when you can clearly see the end, and you get knocked all the way back to the bottom. Who designed this fucking level?

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Hades is universally hated by God of War players. It's the worst part in the entire series, by far.

Exodia's Right Leg wrote:

TheIan wrote:

You want godawful? It gets even better when you have to climb not one, but TWO bladed spinning walls! It's made only more ridiculous when you can clearly see the end, and you get knocked all the way back to the bottom. Who designed this fucking level?

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Hades is universally hated by God of War players. It's the worst part in the entire series, by far.

Worst part?!

Again I find myself coming back here to complain about God of War, this time the sequel! Oh, yeah, God of War II also happens to have its share of batshit insanity to throw at you! For one, the satyrs from the first God of War still piss me off.

And I'm not gonna lie, God of War II is a lot better with its less rage-inducing moments, but the one part that is completely and utterly bullshit in GoW II has to be when you pretty much pull yourself on a platform, chased by a FALLING SPIKED CEILING! And as if that wasn't enough to deal with, you have skeletons spawn on you, often stopping the platform and forcing you to fight them off with a falling spiked ceiling slowly coming down on you.

What the fuck is it with game designers and spikes? Look at any and every game ever made that requires platforming, ALL OF THEM USE SPIKES AS A HAZARD! This is not original! This only adds to a gamer's mounting blood pressure as you frustrate them into a cardiopulmonary seizure! I am fucking raging because as soon as I reach the bottom, my hands are so trembling I can't mash the O button fast enough to escape and the ceiling crashes on me! This does not a good level of gameplay make!

Shit, you made me remember that part. I remember spamming lightning and keep-away attacks on the skeletons whenever one of them looked in my direction. Somehow I cleared it on the first try.

And just recently, I've been playing Castlevania 4, with its lovely platforming section on stones that hurtle diagonally up, straight towards insta-kill spikes. At least CV4!Simon, unlike CV1!Simon, lets you control your midair acceleration (but not your direction, so you're shit out of luck if you overshoot).

Exodia's Right Leg wrote:

V3N0M wrote:

Mine is the mission in San Andreas where you have to take out the plastics factory where the Mafia is making fake casino chips.

Mine was Supply Lines, aka that damn stupid mission with the stupid RC plane. It's hell on the PS2 version, because the plane controls like shit that was shat on, and the time window is so fucking narrow.

To get to the final mission, you have to secure territory for your gang. Again, the PS2 version has a quirk that makes it harder: if you bring too many gang members with you, the enemy gangsters just DON'T APPEAR AT ALL. You can hunt and kill rival gang members all day long with your 4 or 6 friends, but the groups that start a gang war when killed don't show up if you have more than 2 allies.

Air Raid, the one before Supply Lines, is the very worst offender. At least with Supply Lines you can land your plane, take your time and line up your shot if you're careful. In Air Raid all you have is a stationary minigun against way too many RC planes than any man should even be able to have, let alone control. I'm amazed I had enough self-control to not throw my controller at anything...

Diablo 2, Act 2 final boss. ARGH. Duriel not only walks as fast as the player can run, he has a long-lasting Cold melee attack and can really stack up the damage if you don't have any kind of cold resistance and/or thawing potions on you. In one incarnation, I got killed 15 times before I finally laid that motherfucker out - good thing I had Town Portals set up to take me straight back into his lair so I could just grab my stuff and jump right back into the fight. Andariel (Act 1 final boss) is a lot easier; you just have to kill the surrounding monsters first, then play keepaway while you hit her with ranged Poison attacks.

xerrofoot wrote:

Air Raid, the one before Supply Lines, is the very worst offender. At least with Supply Lines you can land your plane, take your time and line up your shot if you're careful. In Air Raid all you have is a stationary minigun against way too many RC planes than any man should even be able to have, let alone control. I'm amazed I had enough self-control to not throw my controller at anything...

I got lucky with Air Raid. Cleared it on my second try.

Ah, and landing your plane DOES NOT WORK on the PS2 version of Supply Lines, because the fuel meter goes down regardless of your speed. They changed it in the PC version, presumably after getting too many death threats from angry PS2 players.

Exodia's Right Leg wrote:

Ah, and landing your plane DOES NOT WORK on the PS2 version of Supply Lines, because the fuel meter goes down regardless of your speed. They changed it in the PC version, presumably after getting too many death threats from angry PS2 players.

Trust me, I've done it, and I have the PS2 version. The trick is to reduce your airspeed before landing and only stay on the ground long enough to destroy the target (the reason for landing is not to conserve fuel, but to keep the plane steady and slow so you can shoot point-blank), then take off again immediately and make a beeline for your next target, no fancy flying. It's far from easy, but definitely possible.

Sly Cooper 2 is my favorite game of all time, honest. I just feel all warm and cuddly inside when I play it-it's so well designed! Hell, I didn't even have trouble with the Water Bug Run...but the TNT Run made me cry.

Then in the third Sly Cooper game...Operation Wedding Crasher. Fuckin' vases tip over every time. Every time. And the vases minigame is your reward after suffering through a segment with the goddamn RC car. Dammit Sucker Punch, why must you make me control a shitty vehicle with no precision through an obstacle course which requires insane amounts of it? By the end of it, I was just about to go insane, about to be dragged off by kindly men whilst raving about blue security nodes.