Rose Potter: The Nudist Druid Ninja who lived.

Subject: Rose Potter: The Nudist Druid Ninja who lived. Tue Nov 17, 2009 6:37 pm

Alright, The Saga of Rose Potter (If you want to read it, you can use my account: theSkillet78@Yahoo.com, Password: WhyGodWhy ) . Take 2. Not as funny, but actually available to read.

Quote :: As during the first year of Primary Schooling a teacher had witnessed Dudley’s attempt to catch me, and had taken me under his wing so to speak, and taught me martial arts classes every day after school. When I had a full year of classes under her belt, I got tired one day of being chased by Dudley and stood my ground. The result being that Dudley had to go to the Doctor for a cast on his arm, which I had neatly broken, it startled me that I had that much strength

At 8 years old....riiiiiiight

Quote :: It disgusted me that Dudley was spoiled so much, when I was younger I was jealous, but that faded as my Sensei taught me the way’s of life and some minor easy to understand philosophy. Dudley was a spoiled little brat, who had absolutely no appreciation for the luxury his life had. You only had to look at television news to see starving children in war torn countries for that.

Not only is she special, but she's humble. Rose Potter: The Nudist Druid Ninja who lived. 355243

Quote :: My jaw clenched in anger, all it would take would be one flat palm strike to Uncle Vernon’s nose and he would be booking time at the Plastic surgeon. But if my Sensei had instilled one virtue in me, then it was to always use the arts for self-defence only.

Not that she'll remember that later.
Also, she somehow just spontaneously developed the ability to teleport.

Events procede according to the book, until she recieves the letter. Remember how that scene worked out in the book and movie? Totally different here.

Quote :: “Dad!” said Dudley suddenly, “Dad, Rose’s got something!”

I was at the point of unfolding her letter, but with lightening quick reflexes shoved it down my shirt, before Uncle Vernon could snatch it out of my hand. I should have known that this would happen. That they would try to deprive me of the only letter I had ever gotten in my life; my only hope. It took one look to know that Uncle Vernon would not stop until he had the letter, his grubby sausage like hands were encroaching on my personal space, and I was sure he was not above ripping my baggy shirt off to get the letter, never mind that I didn’t even have a bra on underneath.

Because he's only doing it to see your flat chest. :pedo:

Quote :: I instantly fell into a balanced stance with my side to Uncle Vernon, my arms tucked in and protecting my rib cage while my hands were ready around my face, ready to deflect, and strike back.

and....how does that work?

Quote :: With a surge of adrenaline, my mind slipped into Void. Void was a term my Sensei used to describe a state of awareness which was all encompassing, it allowed you to see everything that was happening around you all at once and time slowed to a snails pace, at least, it was that way for me.

Turns out the Sensei was just a guy who liked the Matrix trilogy and decided to mess with a little girls mind.

Quote :: Uncle Vernon’s hand was almost ready to grab me, when I used the outside of my right hand to deflect the encroaching limb’s path to move past me to the right, my left leg came forward to stand behind my Uncle’s legs and with a snap my left flat palm hit his elbow while I pulled his hand toward me. I could not hear the sickening crack as Uncle Vernon’s arm was grotesquely broken,

Then how do you know it was "Sickening"? Have you broken arms before? (NB, she almost broke Dudleys arm before, but he's left her alone since then.)

Quote :: I rushed forward and hit Dudley with a flat palm strike directly in the sternum. Dudley gasped as all the air was forcibly expelled from his lungs, and he flew backwards off his feet and crumpled against the wall, joining his father in the land of nod.

Good lord, Skillet. This is hilarious! I'm looking forward to more.

Ah, Keiran Halcyon, undisputed fanfic master of the art of Completely Missing The Point. In Halcyonworld, the ideal hero/heroine of a work of fantasy is a borderline psychotic ninja-death-commando killing machine, who instantly turns every situation to their own advantage (as long as authorial fiat/hindsight are on their side) and needs no company but their own except for sex and ego-stroking. Haven't you always thought Star Wars would be much better if Luke killed fifty stormtroopers to save his aunt and uncle, instantly divined his relationship to Leia and Darth Vader, disabled the Death Star's tractor beam himself using the Force, saved Obi-Wan, and then berated the Rebels for their bad tactics before knocking out Vader's fighter himself, destroying the Death Star and finally going home for some nookie with a hot female Rebel pilot? Oh, and not to mention if he did all this in the altogether? I really must continue my sporking of his other fic, Sanctuary of Arda (plug plug).

On Rose's crushing on Oliver Wood, I think this is probably supposed to be Movie!Wood, aka Sean "Yes, That Is Ma Surname, Lassies" Biggerstaff.

Quote :: Is the sacred knowledge or brahood more widespread in the UK or am I just ignorant beyond my years, because I can't imagine an 11-12 year-old knowing that they need one.

Whether they did or not they wouldn't buy one from Victoria's Secrets, the UK's version is called Anne Summers. [/Britpicking]

Don't be silly, if you can find it in America, you can find it anywhere. Diagon Alley's Victoria's Secrets is right next to the magical equivalent of McDonalds, across the street from Starbucks (they bought out Florian's Icecream-parlour).

Sporkbender Join date : 2010-01-06

Why is it that writers who want their sues to be naked in inappropriate (see also: Hogwarts exposed) situations make up some crap about nudism? They're obviously fapping to this so why don't they just go with exhibitionism?

It isn't even all that exhibitionistic in-story, though. Rose might as well be wearing ultra-comfortable clothes most of the time, since her Amulet of Plot Device conceals her and keeps her warm and dry. (If it keeps the elements away entirely, I would have thought a genuine nudist would find it unsatisfactory, since they wouldn't be able to feel the wind or the warmth of the sun on their skin. Unless of course it's ultra-selective and only stops actively unpleasant weather, which would not surprise me.)

And This is Why I Need Medication Join date : 2009-06-10

I realize I'm older and a bit behind the times, but did anyone on here honestly get their first bra from Victoria's Secret? Because mine came from J.C. Penney's.

Sporkbender Join date : 2010-01-06

Keith Fraser wrote:: It isn't even all that exhibitionistic in-story, though.

That's what I don't get, since the author is obviously writing that in to get his rocks off.

And that's without the age related problems-you don't have to state her age on this board for HP readers to know what it is.

Rabid Badger wrote:: I realize I'm older and a bit behind the times, but did anyone on here honestly get their first bra from Victoria's Secret? Because mine came from J.C. Penney's.

Not me. Mine all came, and still come (since I am still not swimming in money), from major chains similar to J.C. Penney's.

Do Victoria's Secret even sell bras that would fit (or be suitable for in terms of support etc.) a growing 11-year-old? As far as I'm aware (not possessing either breasts or a girlfriend to buy their products for), they go in more for sexy lingerie for adult women, not training bras.

Going with the 'Keiran Halcyon is a guy' theory, it wouldn't surprise me if he threw in the reference to Victoria's Secret because he didn't know of anywhere else girls go to buy underwear.

this is some of the biggest bullshit I have ever read. I don't think I've ever facepalmed so much in so little time.
But I also rofled about a billion times at how absurd it all is.