Overrated Games

You know, I didn't make it through FFXII either, but it wasn't because of the combat. I got to that information trading subquest in the Arcadian slums, took one look at the generic NPCs that I can barely tell apart and said "Screw this."

I may finish it someday.

XII may be the worse popular game ever. There are games like Superman 64 which are universally reviled. Then there are games like FFXII that are terrible games with terrible gameplay and terrible stories that are still lorded about as games that aren't a waste of $50.

A bad story isn't bad if it's some shoot'em up game like Call of Duty. But even CoD has better, less melodramatic and maudlin stories. The characters in CoD aren't overly idealistic, whiny, poorly dressed fuckwits. And the gameplay in CoD doesn't try to define clusterfuck.

It's for those reasons a FPS franchise like Call of Duty would make a better RPG than FFXII, and indeed, most Japanese produced RPGs, which have become the same fucking, shit smelling rose called a thousand different names.

And while we're on the subject of ridiculously overrated RPGs, fuck Tales of Symphonia. It was like FFXII but with MUCH better combat. Of course, there are racing games with better combat than FFXII.

ToS may have actually had a bigger pussy for a hero than FFXII. I haven't seen someone cry as much as Lloyd Irving since Cris Crocker was wailing "LEAVE BRITTANY ALONE! LEAVE HER ALONE!!!" And as badass as Regal was, he was a complete putz. "OH NOES, MY HANDS HAVE KILLED!!! I WILL NEVER USE THEM TO HARM ANOTHER LIVING CREATURE!!!!!!"

*Kicks half of Tethe'alla to death*

Who are you calling poorly dressed?
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Video game characters got style.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

And while we're on the subject of ridiculously overrated RPGs, fuck Tales of Symphonia. It was like FFXII but with MUCH better combat. Of course, there are racing games with better combat than FFXII.

ToS may have actually had a bigger pussy for a hero than FFXII. I haven't seen someone cry as much as Lloyd Irving since Cris Crocker was wailing "LEAVE BRITTANY ALONE! LEAVE HER ALONE!!!" And as badass as Regal was, he was a complete putz. "OH NOES, MY HANDS HAVE KILLED!!! I WILL NEVER USE THEM TO HARM ANOTHER LIVING CREATURE!!!!!!"

*Kicks half of Tethe'alla to death*

Not to mention Sheena with her exposed brassire who wonders why she gets leered at, or Mithos who I was 95% certain was supposed to be a female and love interest for Genis until he! was

Spoiler:

And Zelos, the most lady-like guy I have ever seen.

and Collette, who somehow manages to trip on level ground while hovering several inches above the ground.

etc.

And the fact that every single twist can easily be guessed hours before they come up. And that's if you didn't catch on right at the start.

Tabby wrote:

Chaltab's post.

Okay, Basch and Balthier were dressed decently.

Ashe, despite being hot, looks more like an expensive Japanese whore than a Princess/White Mage.

And for Fran, black is a good color. However, black dominatrix outfits are best worn in private. And if you're going to be trekking all over the known world, you may want to wear sneakers, not 10 inch heals.

Vann, if you insist that your shirts not covering up your stomach or chest, you may just consider not wearing a shirt.

Those stupid belts on Penelo's legs and cumbersome bracelets on her arms are totally superfluous.

WHY do people who are out to save the world feel like they have to wear 20 pounds of unnecessary crap?

FFXII wasn't that bad, especially compared to ToS.

Lloyd Irving - Two belts? What is that thing flying from his neck? lern2comb.

Kratos Aurion - HE'S WEARING SIX FUCKING BELTS! And a purple jumpsuit. And what is quite possibly the fruitiest cape ever.

It looks like it came off of a female Sailor Moon villain.

Collette Brunel - As ridiculous as it looks, she gets a pass because it's some type of religious get up she has to wear.

Genis Sage - He's wearing a vest over a jumpsuit. And matching booties. I wonder how he gets his hair to stay in place like that. I want to know because this halloween I want to go as Johnny Bravo and I need to defy gravity.

Zelos Wilder - Can you believe he NEVER got any of the girls he was hitting on the entire game? I guess they just don't dig that stupid pink jacket/vest/ass flap thing.

Sheena Fujibayashi - Female Ninja are the sluttiest mammals known to man. I wonder if she's ever tripped on that pointless pink bow thing hanging from her sexy ass.

CoD: World at War. The only thing worth mentioning about this games is Nazi Zombies, (which ironically digs into one of my historical pet peeves about cartoon villainy.)

Nothing like a game that glamorizes Soviet war crimes. Because the Germans were evil. And possibly zombies.

Penguin wrote:

The Mario franchise. The Kirby franchise. The Pokemon franchise. And on that tangent, Super Smash Brothers.

Kitbug wrote:

...I love DDR, it's the most fun cardio I've ever had. But I can't play it anymore because of my shitty knees. *sob*

I was gonna point out that DDR was the only one on the list that you'll actually get LESS fat from playing too much.

Let's go ahead and say "every goddamn Nintendo first-party title ever." It's not often Yahtzee makes an objective statement based on hard facts, but that time he said Nintendo's first-party titles are like a reset button pressed over and over again to the point where any other company would get boo'd off the Earth for half as much repetition Nintendo does was pretty damn spot-on. The most innovative and interesting titles on the Wii are all third-party, too.

Re: DDR. What do you get when you take a five-hundred+ pound morbidly obese fatty and add an hour of DDR, six days a week, for ten months?

Minus three-hundred pounds, that's what. Screw you guys, DDR literally saved my life. And got me laid. :roflmao:

Penguin wrote:

CoD: World at War. The only thing worth mentioning about this games is Nazi Zombies, (which ironically digs into one of my historical pet peeves about cartoon villainy.)

Nothing like a game that glamorizes Soviet war crimes. Because the Germans were evil. And possibly zombies.

I maintain that multiplayer is fine, especially since the maps are generally bigger than the otherwise-superior Modern Warfare (this seems to be carrying into Modern Warfare 2, as well.) But not even getting into glorifying Russian ridiculousness, the singleplayer is ridiculous. The only scripted event the devs seemed to know how to do was "your character is dramatically knocked down, breathes heavily and gets helped up by the NPC." The presentation starts off great, hell, Roebuck is Jack fucking Bauer in disguise, but it just goes downhill and never recovers. The cutscenes become more Narm-tastic with every one, the Russians are such large hams that it completely breaks suspension of disbelief (it's probably not inaccurate, but that doesn't help) and the end of the game is the exact same way the original Call of Duty ended. Which was made by Infinity Ward, incidentally. I have actually seen this defended with the argument that "they're not the EXACT same, because in the original, you watch OTHER Russian soldiers WAVE the flag on top of the Reichstag from two feet away, and in WaW, you yourself PLANT it there after being SHOT for EXTRA ANGST." Yes, seriously.

The Russian campaign's one redeeming item: someone at Treyarch was clever enough to do the dark side of Captain Price and use Imran Zakheav's model for Reznov. Puts a nice downer-note to the absurdity when the character's face just makes you think "This man's grandson will attempt to nuke three million people."

I never understood the complaining about the multiplayer. Especially from the crybabies who think the dogs are cheap.

I can stab, shoot, and quite easily kill the dogs, provided I'm paying attention. The Chopper is fucking bullshit and nigh invincible. And for some reason, I like the weapons in WaW more than CoD4. Probably because I have a positive Kill/death ratio with them.

And you say glorifying Russian war crimes, I say an attempt at accuracy over the brutality of the eastern front. At least if your talking about shooting the surrendered German soldiers by the subway tunnel in Berlin and the Sherman-esque torching of everything in the way on the march to Berlin.

But Alhazred has a point. Not about DDR. Fuck DDR.

Some of the game (like, the last half of it) got a LITTLE bit over the top. Like throwing mortar shells all over the place in the Japanese temple. Or surviving the flooded subway tunnel in Berlin. And that kind of stuff.

You know what are really overated?
All of the male-dominated Fucking Penis Smut games.
Call of Duty, Halo, Team Fortress, Half Life, Final Fantasy.
They're all about dominating womyn in various guises. When ever you shoot off a bullet, you're mimicking another rape.

Waffles wrote:

You know what are really overated?
All of the male-dominated Fucking Penis Smut games.
Call of Duty, Halo, Team Fortress, Half Life, Final Fantasy.
They're all about dominating womyn in various guises. When ever you shoot off a bullet, you're mimicking another rape.

0/10

Trying way too hard, no style, too obvious.

/Farker

And don't even mention Portal with it's rampant feminism.

Penguin wrote:

Waffles wrote:

You know what are really overated?
All of the male-dominated Fucking Penis Smut games.
Call of Duty, Halo, Team Fortress, Half Life, Final Fantasy.
They're all about dominating womyn in various guises. When ever you shoot off a bullet, you're mimicking another rape.

0/10

Trying way too hard, no style, too obvious.

/Farker

Your tiny, male brain can't comprehend anything without a gun or a pair of tits.

A. There are no women in TF2, so it's homoerotic
B.There are no women opponents in HL besides those assassins who are more likely to make you angry than titillated
C. FINAL FANTASY WUT
D. CoD sucks.
E. Shitty troll who cannot do the research

Waffles wrote:

Your tiny, male brain can't comprehend anything without a gun or a pair of tits.

Do you have them?

A giant pair of tits, I mean.

Waffles wrote:

When ever you shoot off a bullet, you're mimicking another rape.

I don't know why people don't think you're funny.

Ally wrote:

And don't even mention Portal with it's rampant feminism.

Are you being sarcastic or was I too busy taunting those doofy turrets and falling through some infinite loop for laughs to notice that?

I never get any of that subtle crap. D8

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

Ally wrote:

And don't even mention Portal with it's rampant feminism.

Are you being sarcastic or was I too busy taunting those doofy turrets and falling through some infinite loop for laughs to notice that?

I never get any of that subtle crap. D8

Article

I think what the person is saying is that, since your gun fires oval portals (vaginae) & you don't kill anyone, and the companion cube is useless and encumbering but you are expected to like it (like us men ), it's all a feminist ruse.

ITT: Every game ever made sucks. Madden seems to be the exception.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

1.) Guitar Hero and such actually have decent music, not faggy disco shit..

AHAHAHNOTANYMORE

Putting a difference of opinion aside about GH itself...Taylor Swift = good guitar song? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

The rest of that song list...*sigh*
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Kari Izumi wrote:

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

1.) Guitar Hero and such actually have decent music, not faggy disco shit..

AHAHAHNOTANYMORE

Putting a difference of opinion aside about GH itself...Taylor Swift = good guitar song? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

The rest of that song list...*sigh*
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Yeah, it's pretty meh. There's a few songs I'd like to play, but not many.

I stopped reading when I saw Hillary Duff on there.

Reviling games I dislike is too easy. I prefer to talk about how games I like are overrated.

Okami. Underwhelming combat, too easy, stopping the gorgeous music whenever you use the brush (that is, very often) sucks. People only rave on about it because they want to sound educated, it's the videogame equivalent of boring intellectual novels.

Shadow of The Colossus. You get no new stuff to use against the colossi, so it's boring after the third one or so. Framerate is slow at places, and by places I mean fucking everywhere. Why play it when there's so many better options, with more action, around?

Sonic 3 & Knuckles. Buggy as hell, disjointed, sound quality all over the place, one game for the price of two, need I say more? People should look no further for the point where the franchise really started to decline.

Man, this is easy. I'll try it with other games later.

I say this as a fan of the Final Fantasy series, but people need to stop it with the rabid fangirlism of FFVII. Because seriously - yes, the original game was kind of fun, though the graphics have aged into something that makes me want to bang my head against the controller, and the plot was kind of WTF-y but still good enough to keep me playing, but it is not the be-all and end-all of JRPGs. And don't even get me started on the whole compilation crap Squeenix is pulling.

Sephiroth was not that awesome, and Cloud was kind of cardboardy when you get right down to it.

The series has its ups and downs - my personal favourites are FFVI, for the story, and FFIX, because it was my first and nostalgia trumps all. On the topic of FFXII - it's a Missed Moment of Awesome all the way through. I didn't really like the fighting system - it works, but it's nothing wonderful - and the world felt simply too big. I tend to play FF games for story and characters (which doesn't need to be awesome, just enjoyable), and I don't really want to have to spent an hour and a half simply running to get from one location to the other.

There's also the whole WTF-y presence of Vaan, who contributed absolutely nothing to the story and was really just in the way of letting us get acquainted with the interesting and plot-driving characters, like Basch. It could have been so good, and you can spot the foundations of awesome, and then it just sort of gets muddled and lost halfway through - like a move with an awesome first quarter, which goes sort of "meh" in the middle and just peters out at the end.


Still, I had a good time playing, so it's not all hopeless. One does wonder why all of the boys were wearing thigh-highs, though.

Exodia's Right Leg wrote:

Okami. Underwhelming combat, too easy, stopping the gorgeous music
whenever you use the brush (that is, very often) sucks. People only
rave on about it because they want to sound educated, it's the
videogame equivalent of boring intellectual novels.

I like Okami - I haven't finished it yet, as I got into it rather late - but I like it. I don't really mind it being easy, as I'm mostly sitting there listening to the music and going "Oooooh" over the pretty pictures. It's one of those games I can play just for the pretty.

Exodia's Right Leg wrote:

Sonic 3 & Knuckles. Buggy as hell, disjointed, sound quality all over the place, one game for the price of two, need I say more? People should look no further for the point where the franchise really started to decline.

You and I are gonna fight.

Exodia's Right Leg wrote:

Okami.

Shadow of The Colossus.

Okay Sloth, I'll hold 'em, you do the punching.