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 Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.

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Are you going to stop calling me Clopper/Foalfucker now?
Do your worst, foalfucker.
78%
 78% [ 14 ]
OK, man, whatever you say.
17%
 17% [ 3 ]
MERCY! I can't stand it any longer! Please stop!
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
OMG I LOVE THIS HENTAI CLOP CLOP CLOP
5%
 5% [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 18
 

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ZOOLANDER
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PostSubject: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Mon Feb 25, 2013 12:34 pm

This is your punishment for calling me Clopper. You want to see bronies clop? OK! Here's your fucking clop material, you fucking parasprites. Welcome to Hoof Beat.

Issue 1 Cover

Witness the abject horror of partially humanized anthro-ponies, stripping for the pleasure of whoever's mind vomited up this bizarre creation. Obviously everything is wrong with this tableau, but a couple of things stand out:

Pinkie Pie has no nipples. Yet, as you will see (and you will see. Oh yes, you will see) in the proceeding pages, the mares quite clearly have human breasts and vaginas.

Whose panties are those draped over Rarity's horn?

Credits Page

'Leche' is Spanish for milk, also used as a slang word for semen. 'Wind Driven' brings to mind a very flatulent pony. Razz

Also, is that meant to be "Don't Ask Spike" or "Don't Ask, Spike!"? I feel like the latter would be more appropriate.

Page 3

I haven't seen a princess get that naked since Stephanie of Monaco. RAWR

Page 4

This is the story of how Twilight (or 'Twibright') helps Fluttershy ('Flustershy') get over her body issues by being tied up, violated and finally shoved out in the cold for some odd reason. Note the gratuitous upskirt shot at the front door.
Quote :
Quick! Get inside before somepony sees you!
Yeah, Twilight, your panty lines are showing.

Page 5

Fluttershy: You have to see it! Oh, but you can't see it! I won't let you see it, but you have to see it!
Twilight: Oh, ffs, just show me before you get out the blindfold. Oh, great, she's blindfolded me again.

So Twilight is reduced to stumbling blindly around Fluttershy's cottage for what is apparently the umpteenth time, posing a danger to herself and Angel before getting a handful of titty. If you read into the "nearly sat on Angel" part, however, that may not have been an accident. ANGEL IS A RABBIT, NOT A GERBIL.


Page 6

After we're treated to some more panties and the implication that Flutters is fitting snugly into the "shy freaky chick" trope, Twilight gets straight to the point.
Quote :
Why exactly am I wearing a blindfold and touching your hoofers?

I have to give the authors some credit, these two are very much in character right now.

Flutters is begging for Twilight to help her find out if her body is normal (NO IT IS NOT YOU ARE ALL MUTANT HENTAI FREAKS) and Twi falls right into her trap by offering to help in any way she can. Oh, Twilight. You know, for the genius of Equestria, you sure are naive.

Page 7

Fluttershy. You're not really going to give that carrot back to Angel, are you? At least wash it thoroughly before you do. Upset

And thus the violation of Twilight begins with a carrot shoved down her knickers.

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Cyberwulf
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Mon Feb 25, 2013 1:58 pm

you clopped all over the place to this didnt you clopper
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Hot Cancer
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Mon Feb 25, 2013 3:18 pm

xerrofoot wrote:
This is your punishment for calling me Clopper.

It doesn't really function as punishment if we're not forced to endure it.
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Mon Feb 25, 2013 3:58 pm

Good god, I do not want to shine a UV on this thread.
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Reepicheep-chan
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Mon Feb 25, 2013 4:01 pm

Cyberwulf wrote:
you clopped all over the place to this didnt you clopper
He held one of those fake coconut halves in each hand and then slammed them together with his dick in between over and over. For authenticity.
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Cyberwulf
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Mon Feb 25, 2013 4:16 pm

Reepicheep-chan wrote:
Cyberwulf wrote:
you clopped all over the place to this didnt you clopper
He held one of those fake coconut halves in each hand and then slammed them together with his dick in between over and over. For authenticity.
and somewhere on a kink meme someone is requesting this right now
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Lurv
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Mon Feb 25, 2013 6:15 pm

Oh no, someone's posting links.
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ZOOLANDER
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Tue Feb 26, 2013 2:49 am

Cyberwulf wrote:
you clopped all over the place to this didnt you clopper

OH PINKIE PIE OH PINKIE PIE OH PINKIE OH PINKIE OH PINKIE I'M GONNA CUM seriously cyberwulf you're just making it worse for yourself

Hot Cancer wrote:
xerrofoot wrote:
This is your punishment for calling me Clopper.

It doesn't really function as punishment if we're not forced to endure it.

The comic pages are 600x1200 and the stupid bbcode on this stupid forum software doesn't allow in-post resizing. I can't be arsed downloading and resizing them all myself. Do you really want me to post the full-sized images? Do you?

TheIan wrote:
Good god, I do not want to shine a UV on this thread.

Go shine it on Cyberwulf's face, then. Report back with your findings.



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Penguin
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Tue Feb 26, 2013 5:19 am

xerrofoot wrote:
The comic pages are 600x1200 and the stupid bbcode on this stupid forum software doesn't allow in-post resizing. I can't be arsed downloading and resizing them all myself. Do you really want me to post the full-sized images? Do you?

You really suck at this, Clopper.
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Exodia's Right Leg
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Tue Feb 26, 2013 12:01 pm

Is that the worst you could get? You could at least start with that one where Applejack gets her vagina stuffed full of apples, and go up from there. Even as a clopper, you're a disappointment.

I found the swapped names ("Flustershy", really?) more hilarious than the comic.
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Cyberwulf
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Tue Feb 26, 2013 12:30 pm

xerrofoot wrote:
Cyberwulf wrote:
you clopped all over the place to this didnt you clopper

OH PINKIE PIE OH PINKIE PIE OH PINKIE OH PINKIE OH PINKIE I'M GONNA CUM seriously cyberwulf you're just making it worse for yourself
OH NO HOPCLOP PLEASE PLEASE DON'T POST ANY MORE IN THIS THREAD THAT I DON'T HAVE TO CLICK ON UNLESS I WANT TO
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Tue Feb 26, 2013 1:27 pm

I think I missed the part where looking for/reading/posting/comentating shitty sex comics for a weird thing passes as good evidence for you not liking said weird thing

I mean, if trying to convince people that I don't think gundams are hot involves buying a shit ton of gundam models, talking about gundam all the time, and looking at gundam porn, then I guess I've been doing it wrong this whole time.
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Cyberwulf
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Tue Feb 26, 2013 2:07 pm

^tbh i wouldn't even tease clopper about this if he hadn't put up his stupid poll

christ knows everyone posts fucked up porn here for the purposes of saying EEEEWWWWW WHAT SICK FREAK LIKES THIS

also his snark is weak "oh wow pinkie pie doesn't have nipples but later she does, HELLO, CONTINUITY"

IT'S ANTHRO HORSE PORN

OF A CARTOON FOR LITTLE GIRLS

THAT'S THE POINT

THAT'S THE EWWWW

THAT'S THE SNARKABLE THING
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Tue Feb 26, 2013 4:05 pm

Cyberwulf wrote:
^tbh i wouldn't even tease clopper about this if he hadn't put up his stupid poll

christ knows everyone posts fucked up porn here for the purposes of saying EEEEWWWWW WHAT SICK FREAK LIKES THIS

also his snark is weak "oh wow pinkie pie doesn't have nipples but later she does, HELLO, CONTINUITY"

IT'S ANTHRO HORSE PORN

OF A CARTOON FOR LITTLE GIRLS

THAT'S THE POINT

THAT'S THE EWWWW

THAT'S THE SNARKABLE THING

I've known closeted people who have showed our circle of friends "godawful" porn, like

"OH MY GOD LOOK AT THIS AWFUL THING I FOUND LETS ALL LAUGH AT IT TOGETHER"

And then when the laughing is over they continue looking and looking and looking "for science" or something

It is a pretty damn shitty porn, though. I mean, I can't even tell what's going on in half the panels because there's no shading, everything is the same chroma and saturation, there's no variation in the different shapes, composition is just ass, no line weight to speak of (which is the only thing that keeps the cartoon, from what I've seen, from turning into unintelligible rainbow vomit), and... all of those things take away from my being able to see and understand that what I'm looking at is porn. If someone handed this to me at the end of a cartooning class (because I'm the teach obvs) I'd give them an A for "acceptable production value if you want to look like some Deviantart bullshit" and tell them to get out.
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Cyberwulf
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Tue Feb 26, 2013 4:16 pm

fapfapfap wrote:

It is a pretty damn shitty porn, though. I mean, I can't even tell what's going on in half the panels because there's no shading, everything is the same chroma and saturation, there's no variation in the different shapes, composition is just ass, no line weight to speak of (which is the only thing that keeps the cartoon, from what I've seen, from turning into unintelligible rainbow vomit), and... all of those things take away from my being able to see and understand that what I'm looking at is porn. If someone handed this to me at the end of a cartooning class (because I'm the teach obvs) I'd give them an A for "acceptable production value if you want to look like some Deviantart bullshit" and tell them to get out.
See, all of that is way, way better than "omg pinkie pie don't have nipnips AND THEN SHE DOES LOL".
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Tue Feb 26, 2013 4:18 pm

Cyberwulf wrote:
fapfapfap wrote:

It is a pretty damn shitty porn, though. I mean, I can't even tell what's going on in half the panels because there's no shading, everything is the same chroma and saturation, there's no variation in the different shapes, composition is just ass, no line weight to speak of (which is the only thing that keeps the cartoon, from what I've seen, from turning into unintelligible rainbow vomit), and... all of those things take away from my being able to see and understand that what I'm looking at is porn. If someone handed this to me at the end of a cartooning class (because I'm the teach obvs) I'd give them an A for "acceptable production value if you want to look like some Deviantart bullshit" and tell them to get out.
See, all of that is way, way better than "omg pinkie pie don't have nipnips AND THEN SHE DOES LOL".

I just skipped to the end, which apparently is a different story drawn by someone else, and it's sig....nificantly better?

But "MY COOKIES ARE DOOOOONE" I think has to be one of the most WTF worthy things someone has tried convincing me is a hot thing for someone to say when they... orgasm or whatever it was that was going on.
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Cyberwulf
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Tue Feb 26, 2013 4:43 pm

Exodia's Right Leg wrote:
Is that the worst you could get? You could at least start with that one where Applejack gets her vagina stuffed full of apples, and go up from there. Even as a clopper, you're a disappointment.

I found the swapped names ("Flustershy", really?) more hilarious than the comic.
i just figured that out

it's so they don't get in trouble copyright wise

ffs

i'm flipping through the rest of this garbage and so far my favourite is the ten or twelve pages featuring [pony in pornstar pose] followed by [exact same picture except now pony has come all over her]. You know, so bronies can see their favourite fillies covered in manjuice without having to wipe their semen off their monitors.

you know what would be awesome, if in the middle of the lesbian scene between "Applesack" and "Charity" the furiously masturbating brony's clop session was rudely interrupted by a splash panel of MASSIVE HORSECOCK

well perhaps awesome is too strong a word

perhaps the phrase i'm looking for is "delightfully trollish"

pages 42-47 drop the anthro style and are much closer to bestia - wait a minute, what the fuck is going on here, jesus

but seriously this sequence is for ten year olds who giggle whenever they see a horse shitting and people who really do want to fuck horses

AND FINALLY SHITTY ANIME STYLE DICKGIRLS THANKS TO MAGIC MUFFINS

THEY'RE EVEN BLUE GEDDIT GEDDIT

ITS TOTES NOT GAY IF THE HORSECOCK IS ON A GIRL HORSE RIGHT

oh god there's even A SEXY CROSS-SECTION of hawt horsecock on horsecervix action
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Tue Feb 26, 2013 5:45 pm

Cyberwulf wrote:
oh god there's even A SEXY CROSS-SECTION of hawt horsecock on horsecervix action

I've always wondered what goes on in there

That's very illuminating, thank you clopper community.
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Tue Feb 26, 2013 9:18 pm

Cyberwulf wrote:
Exodia's Right Leg wrote:
Is that the worst you could get? You could at least start with that one where Applejack gets her vagina stuffed full of apples, and go up from there. Even as a clopper, you're a disappointment.

I found the swapped names ("Flustershy", really?) more hilarious than the comic.
i just figured that out

it's so they don't get in trouble copyright wise

ffs
does that ever work
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ZOOLANDER
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Tue Feb 26, 2013 11:15 pm

Exodia's Right Leg wrote:
Is that the worst you could get? You could at least start with that one where Applejack gets her vagina stuffed full of apples, and go up from there. Even as a clopper, you're a disappointment.

I found the swapped names ("Flustershy", really?) more hilarious than the comic.

You want WORSE? OK, I'm sure I can find something to suit your sick tastes.

Cyberwulf wrote:
xerrofoot wrote:
Cyberwulf wrote:
you clopped all over the place to this didnt you clopper

OH PINKIE PIE OH PINKIE PIE OH PINKIE OH PINKIE OH PINKIE I'M GONNA CUM seriously cyberwulf you're just making it worse for yourself
OH NO HOPCLOP PLEASE PLEASE DON'T POST ANY MORE IN THIS THREAD THAT I DON'T HAVE TO CLICK ON UNLESS I WANT TO

AND YET YOU CLICKED ON IT

YOU DID A REAL GOOD JOB OF NOT BEING PUNISHED THERE DIDN'T YA WULFIE

fapfapfap wrote:
I think I missed the part where looking for/reading/posting/comentating shitty sex comics for a weird thing passes as good evidence for you not liking said weird thing

I mean, if trying to convince people that I don't think gundams are hot involves buying a shit ton of gundam models, talking about gundam all the time, and looking at gundam porn, then I guess I've been doing it wrong this whole time.

Believe it or not, it IS possible to be obsessed with a fandom without being sexually aroused by it. Strange but true.

Cyberwulf wrote:
^tbh i wouldn't even tease clopper about this if he hadn't put up his stupid poll

christ knows everyone posts fucked up porn here for the purposes of saying EEEEWWWWW WHAT SICK FREAK LIKES THIS

also his snark is weak "oh wow pinkie pie doesn't have nipples but later she does, HELLO, CONTINUITY"

IT'S ANTHRO HORSE PORN

OF A CARTOON FOR LITTLE GIRLS

THAT'S THE POINT

THAT'S THE EWWWW

THAT'S THE SNARKABLE THING

It's nice to know I can always count on you to be provoked into finishing off the snark for me. You're a doll. Trollface
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Wed Feb 27, 2013 12:59 am

I like how the 2 most recent threads in the fan art section are by xerro and they're both about his gay pony fetish.
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Wed Feb 27, 2013 8:30 am

xerrofoot wrote:
AND YET YOU CLICKED ON IT

YOU DID A REAL GOOD JOB OF NOT BEING PUNISHED
It doesn't really count as PUNISHMENT if the person in question is fairly well unfazed, does it? Because basically Cy goes HAHAHA WHAT IS THIS SHIT, and then she closes the browser and forgets she was looking at this. I know I do.


Quote :
Believe it or not, it IS possible to be obsessed with a fandom without being sexually aroused by it.
Just not for you.
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Wed Feb 27, 2013 9:04 am

xerrofoot wrote:
Believe it or not, it IS possible to be obsessed with a fandom without being sexually aroused by it. Strange but true.

And showing us your clop material proves this how
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Wed Feb 27, 2013 1:26 pm

PS I just found you some more, xerro:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
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PostSubject: Re: Hoof Beat: Not Safe For Work... Or Your Sanity.   Wed Feb 27, 2013 2:01 pm

I actually like the art? It's kind of "meh" as hentai of everything is just, par for the course?

Speaking of, how the fuck is DBZ hentai still a thing?
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