Tesco burgers found to contain horse meat

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Quote :

Criminal prosecutions could follow an investigation into the horse meat contamination of burgers sold by some supermarkets, the Government has said.

But environment minister David Heath said standards were generally very high in the British food industry and backed the Food Standards Agency's (FSA) risk-based checking system.

Answering an urgent question from Labour's shadow environment secretary Mary Creagh in the Commons, Mr Heath acknowledged the seriousness of the discovery.

He said: "It is very important neither you, nor anyone else in this House, talks down the British food industry at a time when the standards in that industry are of a very high level. Because something has been discovered in Ireland, which is serious, which may lead to criminal proceedings, does not undermine the very serious efforts which are taken by retailers, by processors and by producers in this country to ensure traceability and ensure standards of food that are available to consumers."

Supermarket giant Tesco has placed full-page adverts in a number of national newspapers apologising to customers for selling beef burgers containing horse meat. The apology came as a reported £300 million was wiped off Tesco's stock market value.

That's full-size horses they're talking about, right? NOT PONIES NOT PONIES

Quote :

Tesco's apology came as a food expert claimed horse meat could have been in beef burgers for years, but remained undetected because of insufficient food regulation. The FSA said it would consider taking legal action against companies at the centre of the scandal. But the organisation was criticised for not carrying out tests in the past because horse meat posed no threat to public health, the Daily Telegraph said. Tim Lang, a professor of food policy at City University in London, told the newspaper: "It could have been going on for years, but we wouldn't know about it because we have never conducted tests. For too long we have had light-touch regulation. The Food Standards Agency has to be institutionalised into taking a more critical approach. They have to work on the assumption that things could go wrong."

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How the hay did the beef end up contaminated with cheval in the first place? Let me guess... France? The irony of this whole thing is that the US FDA would stamp it as "meat product" or some bullshit and consider it business as usual.

I'm just glad Tesco wasn't selling anything like this:

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"Asked if the stories in the papers were true Tesco replied: "Neigh!". They seriously need to be reigned in. They might be front of the heard now, but they won't be there furlong. While in the meantime the veggie burgers are being tested for traces of uniquorn."

This is what my Facebook feed has looked like for the past TWO FUCKING DAYS. DX

That and this:

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I ate horse sashimi once. It was absolutely fresh and sweet. The restaurant sliced it thin and served it with egg yolk, and minced onion and garlic... Yum! It's a pity it was so expensive. I doubt Tesco's is nearly as good.

Honestly not sure why eating ponies is worse than eating cows.

grmblfjx wrote:

xerrofoot wrote:

That's full-size horses they're talking about, right? NOT PONIES NOT PONIES

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Spoiler:

God damn it, I hate it when I have to admit you're funny.

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

Honestly not sure why eating ponies is worse than eating cows.

Because cows smell bad and poop everywhere.

Unlike horses who, uh, smell bad, poop everywhere, and can jump over things.

What's getting me is that the whole thing is being boiled down to the most basic parts - turned into a joke in the process - while the ACTUAL culprits are barely mentioned.

Pretty much EVERY story out there is "TESCO! HORSECOCK! LOL"

While there's nothing wrong with horsemeat, and the stuff was still ok to eat - the fact is it could have contained children, and we WOULDN'T KNOW! This shit has been going on for years!


Aldi, Iceland, Morrssons, Waitrose - Just about every supermarket and corner shop out there has been affected by this because it's NOT THE SUPERMARKET'S FAULT it's down to the supplier.

Look at the article Xerro posted. You have to work your way right down to the last paragraph to get the name of the people responsible.

But nowhere. NOWHERE is anyone saying: "Jesus, I hope The ABP Food Group, one of Europe's biggest suppliers and processors, is gonna get this shit kicked out of them!". EVERYONE is going LOL TESCO!


But, yeah... I know... modern news. Welcome to the age of information WD40.

WD40 wrote:

But, yeah... I know... modern news. I was expecting to not be disappointed!

Cause... y'know, media is SO reliable and has been for the last decade or so. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with horse meat... except fuck, I can't say that with a straight face or without sounding like Foal fucker, but yeah, horse meat is good, it's just like cow meat except, y'know, the animal can jump as opposed to farting a lot more and contributing Green Haus gases.

All I can say is, I'm glad I don't shop at Tesco.

Chris91 wrote:

All I can say is, I'm glad I don't shop at Tesco.

It's not just Tesco.

Chris91 wrote:

All I can say is, I'm glad I don't shop at Tesco.

When that is all you have to say, save yourself the time and not post. Go read a book, or knit something nifty. Not posting would be more productive for you and just as beneficial to the thread as you posting posts like that post.

LOTS of countries eat horse meat, y'know. Not just France. It tastes like chicken.

If you're hungry enough, anything will...

Also, let's get heavy with the horse puns. I'm really, really, REALLY bad at punning so... uh... leave it to ewe... in the saddle... Nah, you guys can ride? No, I'm shitty...

Wait, I just had the most wonderful mental image of My Little Ponies talking about how they went shopping at Tescos and throwing up a bit.

Went to the fridge to check me burgers - aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand they're off!

Well, burger this for a game of soldiers.

Harley wrote:

LOTS of countries eat horse meat, y'know. Not just France. It tastes like chicken.

I bet you love to eat horse meat.

And by horse, I mean hedgehog.

And by meat, I mean cock.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

Harley wrote:

LOTS of countries eat horse meat, y'know. Not just France. It tastes like chicken.

And by meat, I mean cock.

Mikey, I know your brain may not be able to handle this; but at least TRY to hide it.

Come on, who are we to judge him for wether or not he likes the pocket or the rocket?

Yeah, it all tastes like chicken.

WD40 wrote:

"Asked if the stories in the papers were true Tesco replied: "Neigh!". They seriously need to be reigned in. They might be front of the heard now, but they won't be there furlong. While in the meantime the veggie burgers are being tested for traces of uniquorn."

This is what my Facebook feed has looked like for the past TWO FUCKING DAYS. DX

That and this:

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Oh, how I lol'd.

grmblfjx wrote:

xerrofoot wrote:

That's full-size horses they're talking about, right? NOT PONIES NOT PONIES

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Scootabuse. Why am I not surprised.

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

Wait, I just had the most wonderful mental image of My Little Ponies talking about how they went shopping at Tescos and throwing up a bit.

Cyberwulf wrote:

Went to the fridge to check me burgers - aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand they're off!

Sickipedia had that one and more. Actually, that's where I first found out about the horse meat thing.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

Because cows smell bad and poop everywhere.

Unlike horses who, uh, smell bad, poop everywhere, and can jump over things.

Didn't you hear, Mikey? The cow jumped over the moon.

the asylum wrote:

Come on, who are we to judge him for wether or not he likes the pocket or the rocket?

Are you talking about Harley or xerro? Because Harls is a girl and we don't judge her for the rocket part, but for the hedgehog part. And xerro, well, we judge him for breathing.

xerrofoot wrote:

Scootabuse. Why am I not surprised.

Alright - I'll bite. Why "Scootabuse"?

[edit]

Wait...

It's Scootaloo + Abuse, right?

Do folks not like her, or just like beating on her?

Mostly the latter. I don't know why, but fanfic writers and fan artists just like abusing Scootaloo. Some of it plays on the whole "Scoots is an orphan" thing, some of it is some kind of corny play on the "flightless pegasus = chicken/turkey/dodo" thing. All I know is she's quite the victim.

Fuckin' hell, there's actual meat in a tesco value burger...

Does it make me a bad person to admit that the first thing I thought was: I wonder if this gave anyone the trots.