Virginia Man Walks Into School Wielding a 2x4 With "High Powered Rifle" Written On It

This takes a fun combination of wanting to help, trying to hard, and a lack of common sense.

Quote :

The AP reports that a Virginia man was arrested yesterday after walking into an elementary school outside of Luray with a two-by-four inscribed with the words "High Powered Rifle" on it.

Because only a high powered rifle could kill children. A .22 is totally harmless. These kids eat .22 rounds for breakfast.

Without any milk.

Quote :

And in an awful coincidence, the school shared a name with the scene of last week's shooting in Connecticut—Sandy Hook.

Why?

Why do people keep naming schools "Sandy Hook?" That's a horrible name. It sounds terribly unpleasant. And it may just be that I spend WAY too much time on the internet, but it sounds like something sexual.

Quote :

If you want to make a point in the wake of the Newtown massacre, this might not be the best way.

This article clearly misinterprets the man's actions. Obviously he wanted to make a point about how easy it is to carry a piece of wood into an elementary school. You can ask any Catholic about the dangers of having wood around young kids.

If he really wanted to make a point about guns, he should have bought a rifle and walked into a school with it.

Completely unloaded, of course, but nobody's gonna take a 2x4 so seriously. At best it can be considered as a blunt instrument. At worst it will divert people's attention from the matter at hand.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

This article clearly misinterprets the man's actions. Obviously he wanted to make a point about how easy it is to carry a piece of wood into an elementary school. You can ask any Catholic about the dangers of having wood around young kids.

*brohoof*

Hacksaw Jim Duggen: The alzheimer years.

Un-bucking-felievable.

What was this jerk thinking? Oh, right, he wasn't.

For his mind-breaking stupidity alone he deserves to get the book thrown at him. Pulling a stunt like that at any time is a dumb idea, but to do it barely a week after the worst elementary school shooting in American history? There aren't enough swear words in the English language to describe the sheer fail at work here. I hope and pray he gets the harshest possible sentence the Virginia court system can impose on him and that from now on everybody he knows shuns him like he's radioactive.

xerrofoot wrote:

*PLEASESHOOTMENOW*

Keep this shit off the forums, Foal Fucker

That's like asking Michael Moore to go on a diet.

xerrofoot wrote:

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

[Mikey. MIKEY, you guys.]

*brohoof*

You're not for real. You can't be.

grmblfjx wrote:

xerrofoot wrote:

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

[Mikey. MIKEY, you guys.]

*brohoof*

You're not for real. You can't be.

I doubt he is. I... I seriously hope he isn't real at least.

Reidmar wrote:

xerrofoot wrote:

*PLEASESHOOTMENOW*

Keep this shit off the forums, Foal Fucker

Make me, you prick.


Back on topic: Yeah, there's definitely pariahdom in that guy's future.

grmblfjx wrote:

xerrofoot wrote:

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

[Mikey. MIKEY, you guys.]

*brohoof*

You're not for real. You can't be.

The best part is that he was "brohoofing" a joke about molesting little boys. This will TOTALLY quell the rumors of pedophilia.

Totally.

And what exactly was the point of that? Ten bucks says this assnut supports all elementary school teachers packing heat in the classroom. Because obviously the answer to escalating gun violence is more guns!!1

Owlish wrote:

And what exactly was the point of that? Ten bucks says this assnut supports all elementary school teachers packing heat in the classroom. Because obviously the answer to escalating gun violence is more guns!!1

I'll raise you on that, Owlish. $20 says it's the other one.

I think he's trying to make a point about the USA needing tighter gun control, and how easy it is to carry weapons around. The trouble is that nobody would think a 2x4 is half as dangerous so it's one of those "If you have to explain the joke" things.

Owlish wrote:

Because obviously the answer to escalating gun violence is more guns!!1

Which is why we want cops to respond to shootings completely unarmed, because they can only make it worse by adding more guns to the problem

Penguin wrote:

Owlish wrote:

Because obviously the answer to escalating gun violence is more guns!!1

Which is why we want cops to respond to shootings completely unarmed, because they can only make it worse by adding more guns to the problem

Holy fucking what? That's not what I said at all. Cops already carry guns on the job. Teachers don't. Let's keep it that way.

(Why am I having a terrible case of deja vu?)

Owlish wrote:

Penguin wrote:

Owlish wrote:

Because obviously the answer to escalating gun violence is more guns!!1

Which is why we want cops to respond to shootings completely unarmed, because they can only make it worse by adding more guns to the problem

Holy fucking what? That's not what I said at all. Cops already carry guns on the job. Teachers don't. Let's keep it that way.

(Why am I having a terrible case of deja vu?)

Because you're a dumbass on a regular basis.

I will disagree with the whole "only way to stop bad guy with gun is with good guy with gun" bit, however. Clearly, a good guy with a hang grenade, bazooka, tank, Apache helicopter, or tactical nuke can stop bad guys with guns. All that matter is that the good guys have equal or superior firepower (and equal or superior aim, if not using high explosives).

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

hang grenade

Is that a grenade that "hangs" onto the enemy a la sticky grenade, or a sort of hovering grenade that achieves a certain amount of "hang time" before dropping down onto the target?

Owlish wrote:

Penguin wrote:

Owlish wrote:

Because obviously the answer to escalating gun violence is more guns!!1

Which is why we want cops to respond to shootings completely unarmed, because they can only make it worse by adding more guns to the problem

Holy fucking what? That's not what I said at all. Cops already carry guns on the job. Teachers don't. Let's keep it that way.

(Why am I having a terrible case of deja vu?)

Possible because within the last three months, there have been numerous cases in Florida of cops opening fire on teenagers in cars because they're playing their music too loud or 'they looked suspicious' and killing everyone in the car? Just for statistical purposes, I'll throw out the fact that the victims of the shootings have all been either blacks or latinos. So they obviously must have done SOMETHING wrong at some point and needed to be shot for it (note sarcasm).

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

Owlish wrote:

Penguin wrote:

Owlish wrote:

Because obviously the answer to escalating gun violence is more guns!!1

Which is why we want cops to respond to shootings completely unarmed, because they can only make it worse by adding more guns to the problem

Holy fucking what? That's not what I said at all. Cops already carry guns on the job. Teachers don't. Let's keep it that way.

(Why am I having a terrible case of deja vu?)

Because you're a dumbass on a regular basis.

I will disagree with the whole "only way to stop bad guy with gun is with good guy with gun" bit, however. Clearly, a good guy with a hang grenade, bazooka, tank, Apache helicopter, or tactical nuke can stop bad guys with guns. All that matter is that the good guys have equal or superior firepower (and equal or superior aim, if not using high explosives).

And then it becomes a tactical arms race until it becomes "Hey, we have a nuke guys! Stay the fuck away else I set it off!" and the other guy goes "So fucking what? I have *two*!" until they don't hurt each other? Are you saying every child should pack a nuke in their lunchbox and everyone else should keep one under the bed just in case?

I'm just wondering what your logical conclusion is.

Quote :

Which is why we want cops to respond to shootings completely unarmed, because they can only make it worse by adding more guns to the problem

There are people that actually feel this way.

Nihilist wrote:

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

Owlish wrote:

Penguin wrote:

Owlish wrote:

Because obviously the answer to escalating gun violence is more guns!!1

Which is why we want cops to respond to shootings completely unarmed, because they can only make it worse by adding more guns to the problem

Holy fucking what? That's not what I said at all. Cops already carry guns on the job. Teachers don't. Let's keep it that way.

(Why am I having a terrible case of deja vu?)

Because you're a dumbass on a regular basis.

I will disagree with the whole "only way to stop bad guy with gun is with good guy with gun" bit, however. Clearly, a good guy with a hang grenade, bazooka, tank, Apache helicopter, or tactical nuke can stop bad guys with guns. All that matter is that the good guys have equal or superior firepower (and equal or superior aim, if not using high explosives).

And then it becomes a tactical arms race until it becomes "Hey, we have a nuke guys! Stay the fuck away else I set it off!" and the other guy goes "So fucking what? I have *two*!" until they don't hurt each other? Are you saying every child should pack a nuke in their lunchbox and everyone else should keep one under the bed just in case?

I'm just wondering what your logical conclusion is.

That is the logical conclusion. As it was with the Cold War, when everyone has enough Nukesauce to wipe out the planet a dozen times over, NO ONE starts shit.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Quote :

Which is why we want cops to respond to shootings completely unarmed, because they can only make it worse by adding more guns to the problem

There are people that actually feel this way.

Yeah, they're called "British" and true Americans hate them.

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

That is the logical conclusion. As it was with the Cold War, when everyone has enough Nukesauce to wipe out the planet a dozen times over, NO ONE starts shit. :D

Yes, because the Cold War was such a barrel of laughs for all involved.