Transformers ROTF The MST

I loved this movie so much, that said, there was so much to take the mick out of. So I decided, why not.

Now, I've never snarked a fic in my life, but what I can do, abridge a fecking movie, so I give you all,
TRANSFORMERS:- REVENGE OF THE FALLEN. MST Somath style

Warning:- During this sequence of posts the phrase "Appears out of nowhere and does something badass" will be replaced with "Surprise butthorn!"
If this upsets you then stop reading now and go back to meaning about Decepticles

Opening Sequence

Peter Cullen:- My narration bring all the fans to the yard, oh, and Transformers in the past!

Viewer:- Wait what?

Cave man vs Old school transformers, or as scientists are now calling it. The worlds most one sided fight takes place
Monkey vs Robot is sung in Viewers head.

In Hong Kong

NEST Soldiers:- Be very very quite, we're hunting Decepticons.

Ironhide:- I'm here to actually kill the bloody things

RC, Skids and Mudflap:- We are totally ineffectual, but hey, a combiner and fem-bots, that's cool right fanboys?

Fanboys:- *Drool*

Sideswipe:- I look like jazz, I act like jazz, but I'm not bloody Jazz okay!

Decepticons:- It's the Fuzz! Cheese it!

Car Decepticon:- I'm so awesome I drive through buildings!

Sideswipe:- *goes all wolverine on the Car Decepticon* Snikt Bub Snikt.

Giant Wheel Decepticon:- I'mma smash everything!

Optimus Prime:- *Air dropped in* Surprise Butthorn! *Axes*

Giant Wheel Decepticon:- Vague plot reference...*ded*

Eps:- I have a bad feeling about this.

The Witwicky household

Spike is going off to University Collage, Que obligatory packing scene.

Mum:- I'm in a brick house of emotion!

Sparkplug:- Quite, once the boy leaves it's sexy time all the time

Mum:- And suddenly I'm happy again.

Spike:- Ew

Viewer:-Ew.

Fanboys:- Wut?

Scene change to Megan Fox looking sexy on a bike.
This is okay cause because she's painting it up for her dad, who despite having very few lines is awesome. Poor ass phone flirting takes place between Megan and Spike culminating when Spike finds a piece of Allspark that's been stuck to a jacket of his for 2 years, yeah.

This shard promptly uploads itself into his brain, burns through the floor and turns the al the kitchen
appliances into transformers.

Spike:- OMGMYROOMISONFIRE

Kitchen:- We live!

Viewer:- Is that a Dyson?

Fanboys:- OMG PRODUCT PLACEMENT!

Spike:- Ah, that's the fire out, OMGMINICONS! *jumps out of window*

Sparkplug:- Oh god not again

Spike:- Oh wait, transforming car in garage, Bumblebee!

Bumblebee:- *Blows up the minicons and most of the house*

Spike:- Dude, too much.

Bumblebee:- *Sulks*

Mum:- Rage

Sparkplug:- psst, government payoffs.

Mum:- And suddenly I'm happy again.

20 minutes later

Megen arrives, just in time for a heart to heart between spike and bumblebee.

Spike:- I'm going to collage.

Bumblebee:- Horray!

Spike:- You can't come, no cars for freshmen

Bumblebee:- Hawoo...

Megan:- *Gets changed into a dress for some reason*

Spike:- Whoa

Viewer:- Nice

Fanboys:- *Fap Fap Fap*

Apparently they haven't said “I love you” to each other yet after 2 years, heathy!
Spike gives Megan the allspark piece, they then talk about long distant love. camera spins making all views fell very very ill.

Toy car that survived the 'Purge of Bumblebee!' sends signal to SOUNDWAVE, who is in space!

Minicon:- Bitch has the shard.

SOUNDWAVE!:- Well? Get it then! Dumbass.

Viewer:- Sweet, robots again.

Fanboys:- Why is Soundwave not a cassette deck, I totally still use cassette tapes!!!

Yes, keep going. I haven't seen the movie yet but that is some funny shit right there.

On an Island somewhere

Funeral for the soldiers that got decepti-squished shows this is a joint venture between the US, the UK and the Autobots, watch this get treated as an entirely American controlled operation from her on.

Skids and MudFlap:- No longer are we a lame combining Ice Cream Van, we are now two entirely separate generic hatchbacks, yeah!

Obligatory US Government Berk:- You guys messed up big!

Lennox:- Oh really, How so?

Obligatory US Government Berk:- President President Last All Spark Shard, President President Megatons hidden location, President President All Your Fault!

SOUNDWAVE!(in space):- Thanks for the info dumbass.

Obligatory US Government Berk:- And you won't give us any of your weapons tech!

Optimus Prime:- Brave. Not Stupid.

Obligatory US Government Berk:- Meep!

Optimus Prime:- I thought so.

At the University Collage

Spike finds that his room-mate is a woman obsessed conspiracy nut called Leo.

Leo:- Hi, your either gonna love me now and hate me later, or hate me now and love me later, pray for the second.

We also find that his mum gets high very easily, that people sell pot brownies out in the open at this University collage, every single woman at this place is smoking hot and Spike lost his cherry while his mum was in the house.

Spike:- Oh god why me!

Sparkplug:- I'mtakingyourmotheroftoparisbye!

Meanwhile back in space

SOUNDWAVE:- Ravage, eject, mission parameters, shard retrieval.

Ravage lands at the NEST base, gets his sneak on poorly, and barfs a load of marbles down a ventilation shaft.

Viewer/Fanboy:- Huh?

Marbles land next to allspark shard, transform and combine into this odd ass bladeformer. Grabs shard and the guards turn up.

Fight scene:- Is amazingly bloody

Viewer:- Did he just dive through a guy??

Ravage:- Blows some Jeeps up, meets up with it's bladeformer mate and cheeses it for the sea.

Back to collage

Leo drags Spike and his 'staff' to a frat party wherein Spike goes mental and starts drawing with icing.

Fanboy:- Nooo, precious baked goods.

Hot girl very aggressively flirts with Spike until bumblebee turns up and saves him from certain temptation.

Meanwhile, at the Garage of sexiness!

Megan:- Stand me up for our web date will he! I'd be mad if I wasn't so infatuated by his aloofness. *sigh*

Viewer:- Wut?

Fanboy:- Really?

M.Bay:- Hell if I know, now bugger off I have money to count.

In a Cemetery for some reason.

Optimus Prime:- Spike we could use your help with convincing the US government that being our friends is a good idea

Spike:- Dude, 'I'm' not sure it's a good idea to be your friends, fecking cockblockers.

Optimus Prime:- Oh you'll thank us for that later.

Spike:- Wut?

Decepticons on a boat!

Ravage:- I has shard!

Scalpel:- Dive Dive Dive!

Monitoring crews:- Oh shit! Maybe we should have, I don't know, put mines down there or something.

Megatron:- I live! And I'm a triple changer! That means a new toy!

Nearby Submarine:- Well, we're boned *goes boom*

Megatron:- Sweet.

Later in space, but not with SOUNDWAVE

Megatron:- Screamie! I'm home

Starscream:- Oh hi honey, I kept the ship just how you like it. The kids are growing up lovely as well.

Megatron:- *Chokes a bitch* Who said you could leave the kitchen, Oh hi grandpa.

The Fallen:- Something Something Something Dark Side. Something Something All Spark, Something Something Something Prime.

Megatron:- I think George Lucas is gonna sue somebody.

The first day of lectures

Astronomy Prof:- Ah yes, a class full of jail bait all listening to me what more could a man want. This is gonna be a perfect year.

Spike:- *Flips out*

Astronomy Prof:- Fuck.

One phone call to the garage of sexiness later.

Megan:- Bitch you stood me up

Spike:- I'm freaking out man! All I see is symbols.

Megan:- Man your family does get high easy.

Wheelie:- I'mma in your garage, stealing your shard.

Megan:- Two seconds hun, BITCH I'LL MELT YOUR EYE OUT.

Wheelie:- Ow my face! I'll be good! I'll be good!!

Megan:- Now that's done. I'll be there as soon as I can Spike darling.

Spike:- I'm Covered In Bees!

In Spikes room

Spike:- Must paint weird symbols on the walls, then I'll be not crazy, and lizard king! Need blank canvas! Begone blatant Bay film advertisement!

At the airport

Airport security:- Anything to declare?

Megan:- No

Airport security:- Why is that box yelling?

Megan:- Look into my chest, my chest, don't look around my chest, don't look around my chest, look into my chest. *Snaps fingers* your under.

Some time later, back in the house of crazy

Leo:- Wtf man.

Spike:- It's okay, all my brains are on the wall, so I'm not crazy anymore!

Alice:- I'll handle this! With Sexiness!

Leo:- Sweet!

Alice:- None for you.

Leo:- Bummer.

Spike:- I have a girlfriend!

*Megan Fox arrives!*

Alice:- You mean her?

Spike:- Wait wut?

Megan:- Plot device airlines.

Alice:- Oh to hell with this, Transform!

Viewer:- How in the hell?

Fanboys:- Oh God A Pretender!!

The Internet:- The Badfic Potential! It burns!

Pretender:- *blows shit up*

Megan:- Get off mah man! *smooshes Alice between a car and a lamp post*

Leo:- Suddenly I don't want to know about alien robots any more!

Spike:- Welcome to my world.

Grindor:- Surprise Butthorn! *grabs their car and flys off with it. Spike almost falls out but doesn't which is what he gets for not wearing a seatbelt. Later they all survive being dropped through a factory roof and landing upside down. yeah.*

Megatron:- Hi kids

Kids:- Oh Poopie!

Megatron:- As much as I would like to crush you, I need your brain.

Scalpel:- Fun times!

Bumblebee and Optimus Prime:- Surprise Butthorns!

Viewer:- I'm detecting a pattern here

Bumblebee grabs Megan and Leo and cheeses it, Optimus spars with Megs for a bit before running off with Spike.

Car Chase:- Happens

M. Bay:- In his element.

Megatron:- Take his Brain!

Optimus Prime :- There is only one way to settle this, Fight!

Spike:- This does not look good

Best fight in whole move:- Happens

Optimus Prime:- Is Badass

Megatron, Starscream and Grindor:- Why won't you die!

Optimus Prime:- I Optimus will knock you all down! *Hooks open some face*

Megatron:- Oh to hell with this, Backstab!

Optimus Prime:- Well, that sucks*ded*

Viewer:- What? What? How? But? He was winning!

Fanboys:- Saw it coming.

Spike:- Do Not Want!!!!

Other Autobots:- *Arrive just a fraction of a second too late*

Ratchet:-My first Scene!

Jolt:- Mine too!

Ratchet:- But I got lines as well.

Jolt:- ...Fuck you.

Back in space, still not with SOUNDWAVE!

The Fallen:- The last Prime is dead, Now I am invincible!! The Dark Side reigns!

M.Bay:- Okay, this is pushing it.

S. Spielberg:- No it's cool, George owes me after Crystal Skull.

Back on earth

Leo:- I'm freaking out man

Spike:- Ladies and gentlemen I give you me two years ago.

Skids and Mudflap:- We're actually funny, who knew?

Atop a building somewhere.

Megatron:- Ah abusing Starscream, fun times

Viewer:- He's beating Starscream with his own severed arm <3

Fanboys:- *Spooge*

Megatron:- And now to tell the world we're here.

SOUNDWAVE:- Finally, more screen time, Fear my leet haxxor skillz!!1!

Many Deceptions fall from the sky destroying aircraft carriers and the like. You know the scene I mean, that bit from the trailers you've seen 20 times already. Set to music to make it seem more epic and interspersed with The Fallen telling the world to hand over Spike so they can blow up the world,
or they will blow up the world.

Yeah.

Somewhere in the middle of this Spikes mum and dad get Kidnapped. IMPORTANT PLOT POINT!

Back with the wonder trio, and the kids

Leo:- Well, we're boned

Spike:- Maybe if I give myself up.

Bumblebee:- *is amazingly inspirational given that he has no voice*

Spike:- Or we could find that guy who keeps scooping Leos site about aliens and ask him if the symbols in my head mean anything, yeah!

NEST headquarters

Soldiers and Autobots:- Are sad.

Optimus primes body:- Is dumped on the runway.

Respect for the dead;- Is not shown

Other Soldiers:- Hands up.

Ironhide:- Fuck you!

Obligatory Government Berk:- Surprise Butthorns, You're being shut down!

Lennox:- Well. Fuck.

At a deli somewhere

Leo:- Sup dude, know anything about giant robots?

Simmons:- Nope

Spike:- Oh hai!

Simmons:- You!? To the conspiracy cave!

In the conspiracy cave (now with added Frenzy head)

Simmons:- Is this your card what you're seeing?

Spike:- Yeah what does it say?

Simmons:- Not a clue.

Megan:- Gentlemen! Behold! My very own deus ex machina!

Wheelie:- Hi

Spike, Leo and Simmons:- Wtf?

Wheelie:- Ooh this is the guy you want, a seeker.

Fanboys:- References! Dahahaha!

Simmons:- To the museum!

I stopped trying to follow the "plot" after the Minicons but otherwise you're doing a great job. The fanboys and fangirls ARE going to horribly abuse the Pretender feature. Robot sex was never easier!

In Washington

Simmons:- Gentlemen! Behold! A sector 7 thong

Entire audience:- Ew.

Spike:- How we gonna do this?

Simmons:- The only way I know how! With toilet humour and tazers!

Spike:- Like that's gonna work.

One scene involving toilet humour and tazers later

Spike:- You've got to be kidding me!

Wheelie:- This way meatbags! *lead the 4 to an old blackbird jet*

Spike:- Allspark shard! Go!

Megan:- It's a decepticon!

Spike:- In hindsight we should have checked it's allegiance 'before' reactivating the
big scary jet.

Jetfire:- I Live!

Viewer:- Gee Wiz, a running gag.

Leo:- I, hate, all of you!

Jetfire:- I'm an old Man Robot! Listen to my Britishisums.

Leo:- Don't eat me!

Jetfire:- Yeah I'm an Autobot, less killing, more naps don't ya know.

Spike:- Sweet! Can you read these!

Jetfire:- I can! To the Plot Device/Reference Mobile! *teleports*

In a desert somewhere

The gang lands all over the place, complete with Megan Fox landing on Leos nuts

Leo:- Why is always my nuts!

Spike:- Where the hell are we?

Jetfire:- Egypt, where this mess all started!

Spike:- What the hell man! This is Transformers not Yugioh!

Jetfire:- Shut up, old bot is about to exposit.

Humans:- Ew

Jetfire;- In the beginning... *I'll be honest, either you've seen the movie and know this crap already or haven't and don't care* ...Now go, Before the Deceptions find you!

Spike:- To the red sea apparently!

Later on the road

Spike:- You're calling Lennox.

Simmons:- Okay!

At NEST headquarters

Lennox:- This is a top secret military base, how did you get this number?

Simmons:- Yellow pages. We need the robot corpse.

Lennox:- Sure why not.

Simmons:- Really?

Lennox:- Hey if it pisses off the Burk in all for it.

Simmons:- Sweet.

At a check point somewhere

Short Guard:- None Shall Pass!

Simmons:- Please, I'm actually a half decent actor.

Short Guard:- Ah! I loved you in Mr Deeds! Through you go!

Security Camera:- I'm ominous!

In space again, with SOUNDWAVE

SOUNDWAVE:- Found ya butthorns! My last scene! Fuck!

Later, at a pyramid

Simmons:- Aliens built that!

Leo:- Are you still wearing that pilots jacket?

Simmons:- You're just pissed you didn't get one.

Spike:- Quiet you two, tender moments be happening!

Megan:- Soooo, love me yet?

Spike:- Oh no! My crazy has just kicked in. Follow that star!!

On a military aircraft (now with added dead prime)

Obligatory US Government Berk:- Why is this taking so long?

Lennox:- Not sure but you better hold on to this parachute.

Obligatory US Government Berk:- Why?

Lennox:- So me forcing you out of the plane is kid friendly.

Obligatory Government Berk:- Wait, what?

Lennox:- Bye~

*Burk flies out the back of the plane*

I slept through most of this incredibly shitty film, but here's what I remember:

SPIKE: Let's have webcam sex!

MEGAN FOX: *humps motorcycle*

-everything goes black-

DWIGHT SCHRUTE: And as you can see in this rather ingenius design, I have given the Transformer a twenty-foot extension cord so that it can't chase us-

SPIKE: THE NUMBER 24! IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW, JIM CARREY! *scribbles all over everything* LET'S ALL HANDLE THIS WITH ONE PANDA AND A LOT OF CHUTZPAH. I THINK I'M APPLES!

DWIGHT SCHRUTE: Seriously, dude, GTFO.

-once again, darkness-

JIVEBOT #1: Yo man! What da whatta whatta whatta whatta, man! Walk it out!

JIVEBOT #2: Jigga jigga bojangles where da weed at?

-blissful slumber-

DELI GUY: Remember me from the last movie? Me neither. Provolone or swiss?

-conks out-

EXPLODING ROBOT FIGHT: *explodes*

-fade to black-

EXPLODING ROBOT FIGHT: *fights*

-sleep-

OPTIMUS PRIME: *dies in an exploding robot fight*

SPIKE: STELLAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

-slumber-

SPIKE (with robot arm): I HAVE THE POWAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

-sleep-

CREDITS: Roll

ME: That sucked.


-THE END-

I can't wait for more, Somath.

The Yu-Gi-Oh and Old Bot parts made me splorfle.

:roflmao: x50.

Continue, for great justice!

Back to Henry Jones the 3rd Spike and crew

Spike:- Here we are! A big door way.

Leo:- That archaeologists have already picked clean.

Spike:- Yes but have they done this? Bumblebee!

Bumblebee:- *Shoots up some ancient mural*

Spike:- Ah the Maguffintrix of Leadership! We has found it!

Maguffintrix of Leadership:- *Dustificates faster than a vampire in the midday sun, FUCK YOU MEYER!*

Spike:- Into my sock it goes then.

NEST:- *Arrives some miles away dropping off Primes body*

Spike:- Onward to the dead Robot!

At the landing site.

Lennox:- Come on people! Lets do what America does best! Make a small town a war zone aided by complicit britishmen! But this time with Giant robots!

Some driving later

Spike:- We're almost there!

Starscream:- Surprise butthorns! Missile time!

Leo:- *Freaks out*

Simmons:- I'mma charging mah Tazer!

Leo:- Don't taze me bro! *is tazed*

Spike:- Okay, lets split up gang! Me and Megan will run over open terrain towards the army guys, you lot keep ole jet head busy. Awesome Idea? Sure it is, break!

Leo:- We're gonna die aren't we?

Simmons:- Yep.

The Warzone again

Decepticons:- Arrive in from space, meteor style.

Lennox:- Well we're boned

And back to Spike

Spike:- Just keep running, just keep running, just keep running.

The Warzone again.

Battle:- Starts.

Spike again

Spike:- Keep running, breath, that's the key!

Pacing:- Remember when I mattered? Good times man, good times.

And to both sets of wonder twins

Simmons:- Do those construction machines look kinda decepticonish to you?

Leo:- Kinda, why?

Devastor:- *Transforms and Combines!*

Leo:- Oh...

Devastor:- *Noms Skids*

Mudflap:- Noooo

Skids:- *Pulls an Agent K* I'm in your head, smashing your face!

Back with the NEST soldiers

NEST Soldiers:- *losing*

Decepticons:- This is surprisingly easy!

And Spike again

Spike:- Hiding time.

Starscream:- Found you!

Spike:- run!

Megans Wonder Twins:- Bounces in slow-mo

Decepticon Trap:- Is sprung

Spike:- Mom? Dad?

Robo Zebedee:- Ragh!?

Spike:- BUMBLEBEE!

Bumblebee:- Appears outta nowhere and kicks some Robo Zebedee ass

Ravage:- Arrives to help Robo Zebedee

Bumblebee:- Skins Ravage, somewhere in America, David Willis is crying.

Moving Family Scene:- Bay so didn't direct this bit.

S. Spielberg:- I still got it.

American camera plane thing:- Flies over.

Military guy somewhere:- Send in the cavalry!

NEST troops:- We has tanks now.

Decepticons:- This has now become surprisingly difficult! Who said the good guys could
actually have comparable weaponry?!

At a pyramid somewhere

Devastor:- Nom nom nom, hmm, loverly mineral content.

Simmons:- Hey, guy on a ship, Metal Gear.

Captain:- Metal Gear?

Simmons:- METAL GEAR!!

Devastor:- Is railgunned to death.

Back at the battle

Ironhide: I found Spike!

Arcee:- Is the obligatory Autobot casualty, maybe.

Lennox:- Hi kid! So why exactly are we here?

Megatron:- Nuts to this! Rush em!

Jetfire:- Surprise Butthorns! *cleaves a decepticon*

Scorpinok:- Surprise Butthorns! *dives at Jetfire*

Jetfire:- Oh bugger me.

Orange smoke:- Americans! drop big nasty bombs here.

Our heroes:- Stupidly close to said Orange smoke.

Lennox:- Stay with me, now cheese it!

Spike:- *doesn't*

Megatron:-*Tries to pick Sam off* Why won't you die!

Spike:- Pretty much does.

Megan:- I chose this, the moment of your death, to tell you that I love you for the
first time, yeah.

Spikes parents:- We have no idea why Bumblebee thought this was a safe place to bring us.

Meanwhile in Spikes head

Primes:- Mystic hoop a joop.

Spike:- huh?

Primes:- Here, have a Maguffintix and your life back.

In the real world

Spike:- I love you too, me hearing you despite my being unconscious but enough of that!
Maguffin powers activate!

Optimus Prime:- I live!

The Fallen:- Surprise butthorn! My Maguffintrix! *Teleports*

Lennox:- Bring the rain on that Dreamwave mofo!

Eps:- Oh come on, just because the writer has kept leaving me out doesn't mean you can take my lines!

The Fallen:- *Uses the force*

M. Bay:- There is no way in hell we are going to get away with this. Steven? Steven!?

S. Spielberg:- It was all his idea George, I say you sue his ass.

Jetfire and Optimus Prime:- Transform and Combine!!

Armada:- Is referenced.

The big bad doomsday machine we've been fearing for well over half this movie:- Goes boom in one shot.

Megatron:- Gets his ass kicked three ways from Sunday and yells for Starscream.

G1:- Is referenced

The Fallen:- Falls

Movie:- Ends!

Viewer:- That was fun.

Fanboy:- So conflicted!

Wheelie:- Where the hell did I go?

Barricade:- Welcome to disappearing mid-movie, the worst kind of death.




And now I'm done.

Wheelie:- Where the hell did I go?

Barricade:- Welcome to disappearing mid-movie, the worst kind of death.

XD!

Also, Willis isn't the only one who cried. >: *sadly makes her Ravagetoy nom the air*

Has not seen the move. Don't think it can compete with this.

I loved it and also cried.

Poor ol' Starscream. Megatron still won't give him any lovin'.

Awesome, Somath, now I don't have to waste my money on a ticket to that piece of crap! Your MST is obviously the better alternative.

I hereby declare that the 'ROTF' in the title actually stands for 'Rolling on the floor,' which is what I was doing while reading it. I'm going to recommend this to my oldest son, who saw the movie and was highly upset at spending that much money to see something that sucked so badly. Hopefully, this will alleviate some of the pain.

I reiterate: I haven't seen the movie, but this is still funny as all hell. Yer a wizard, Cegem! I will now ruin other people's ROTF experiences by bursting into laughter at the oddest moments because I remembered something from your MST.

The best part was the bit about Americans turning a small town into a war zone with complicit Britishmen standing around.

I loved it, Cegem.

(I also loved the movie. XP)

Sorry Somath, but the MST is the same as the movie for me... too long and a bit meh.

But at least the MST doesn't have two elements that detract from any enjoyment I might get from it. Seriously, Skids and Mudflap are the most offensive black stereotypes I've ever seen. How the fuck did they get away with that? And then there's the huge neon NO GIRLS ALLOWED sign hanging over the entire film. To think I was worried that they'd make Arcee nothing more than Bumblebee's love interest! Instead she gets off one line before two of her blow up. It was damn hard to enjoy the deft shoutouts to G1 and Optimus Prime being madly heroic and badass with that going on, let me tell you.

Man, you really fell in love with the term 'surprise butthorn', didn't you? Methinks you need to expland your vocabulary a wee bit.

Cyberwulf wrote:

Sorry Somath, but the MST is the same as the movie for me... too long and a bit meh.

But at least the MST doesn't have two elements that detract from any enjoyment I might get from it. Seriously, Skids and Mudflap are the most offensive black stereotypes I've ever seen. How the fuck did they get away with that? And then there's the huge neon NO GIRLS ALLOWED sign hanging over the entire film. To think I was worried that they'd make Arcee nothing more than Bumblebee's love interest! Instead she gets off one line before two of her blow up. It was damn hard to enjoy the deft shoutouts to G1 and Optimus Prime being madly heroic and badass with that going on, let me tell you.

You know what? I found Skids and Mudflap the anti-endearing, and yet somehow I managed to register the fact that alien robots who adopted our culture from the internet are probably not black (any more than Jazz and Blaster were "black" in G1 for liking earth music), and that instantly assuming anyone who's ignorant and shit-talking (like any number of boys of every nationality I've unfortunately met) is automatically black is probably kinda racist, too. :\

/$0.02

(Also, there were Unicron Trilogy shout-outs, too. GIVE THEM SOME LOVE, SERIOUSLY.)

ETA: No argument about Arcee, though. Even the pretenderbot Alice kicked more ass. D: (As did Mikaela, for killing Alice and taming Wheelie.)

I thought the whole movie just 'felt' extremely weird, due in part to the crazed, almost stream-of-consciousness way everything seemed to move (am I the only one who noticed?)

Still, must be hella fun to watch stoned.

Aggie wrote:

Man, you really fell in love with the term 'surprise butthorn', didn't you? Methinks you need to expland your vocabulary a wee bit.

I'll be honest it was either that or "Nobody expects the "insert name here* inquisition!". Either way I was gonna stick to the same line the whole way through. There is only so many ways you can make a guy appearing from nowhere funny, and I decided the now show method of a running gag was my best bet.

Alana wrote:

Cyberwulf wrote:

Sorry Somath, but the MST is the same as the movie for me... too long and a bit meh.

But at least the MST doesn't have two elements that detract from any enjoyment I might get from it. Seriously, Skids and Mudflap are the most offensive black stereotypes I've ever seen. How the fuck did they get away with that? And then there's the huge neon NO GIRLS ALLOWED sign hanging over the entire film. To think I was worried that they'd make Arcee nothing more than Bumblebee's love interest! Instead she gets off one line before two of her blow up. It was damn hard to enjoy the deft shoutouts to G1 and Optimus Prime being madly heroic and badass with that going on, let me tell you.

You know what? I found Skids and Mudflap the anti-endearing, and yet somehow I managed to register the fact that alien robots who adopted our culture from the internet are probably not black (any more than Jazz and Blaster were "black" in G1 for liking earth music), and that instantly assuming anyone who's ignorant and shit-talking (like any number of boys of every nationality I've unfortunately met) is automatically black is probably kinda racist, too.

Oh, yes, of course. The fact that they just happened to have speech patterns similar to African Americans and embody stereotypes that whites apply to that community (such as buck teeth - one of which is gold - ape-like movement, admitting they don't read) is all PURE COINCIDENCE. Pointing out that they're racist stereotypes, or even racist dogwhistles, IS ACTUALLY BEING RACIST. It's also PURE COINCIDENCE that Leo (Raoul), the Latino character, is klutzy, stupid and a coward.

You get it? It's not the speech patterns or the shit-talking. FUCKING LOOK AT THEM. Jesus, how can you not see it?!

The sad part is, I knew some fucking dumbass would accuse me of being racist for pointing out racism.