Godawful Chain E-mails

Wasn't sure if I should put this under news, or websites. Figured I'd put it here since it's not "technically" news, and others can also post terrible e-mails they've seen.

One of my good friends recieved this lovely e-mail from her father this morning. She posted it to her LJ, along with an angry rant about racism.

Quote :

WALK NAKED IN AMERICA DAY
Don't forget to mark your calendars.
As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked and if he does, he must commit suicide. So next Saturday at 1 PM Eastern Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.

All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to demonstrate their support for the women and to prove that they are not Muslim terrorist sympathizers. Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your patriotism.

The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

God bless America !


P.S.. It is your patriotic duty to inform others. If you don't send this to at least 1 person, you're a terrorist-sympathizing, lily-livered coward and are possibly aiding and abetting terrorists.

While the racism does bother me, I'm more offended by the sexism here. "Men should sit outside in lawn chairs to demonstrate their support" my ass. Are the naked women supposed to pop open those refreshing beers for the men, too?


So, what terrible chain-mail letters have you seen recently?

Kill your friend.

Mafiosa wrote:

Kill your friend's father.

fixed that for you

SirDixonDongs wrote:

Mafiosa wrote:

Kill your friend's father.

fixed that for you

Oh yeah kill him.
Then kill Mafiosa because she can't read.

Forward this post onto 10 people or you'll die 1 minute before you were supposed too.

Yorokobi wrote:

Are the naked women supposed to pop open those refreshing beers for the men, too?

Absolutely!

Are you also supposed to show your patriotism by whipping out your dong and giving it a good stroke of affection?

That part is a given, duh!

Oh okay, excellent. I'm just trying to make sure I can fit in around here with these strange customs you know.

Will there be dongs passed out for non- or pre-op transmen, and will transwomen be allowed to run around opening beers too?

The Romans tried to do something like this with Christians, but instead of naked lady bodies, they made Christians fight against lions in the arena since Christians were not allowed to kill another man. They did kill the lions, though.

We all know what happened after that.

In 100 years we'll all be saying "Allah Akbar!" because of the imaginary interwebs people flashing Muslims.

Verandering wrote:

Oh okay, excellent. I'm just trying to make sure I can fit in around here with these strange customs you know.

Will there be dongs passed out for non- or pre-op transmen, and will transwomen be allowed to run around opening beers too?

Everyone knows these "trans-" people are a myth, so your point is invalid!

Damn it, I fail.

I once got an e-mail in which someone claimed that one of my friends had hired them to kill me, and that if I didn't pay them twice as much as the friend had ($20,000, I think), they were going to go ahead and kill me.

Silly people. Everyone knows I have no friends. And certainly none that could afford to spend $20,000 to have me whacked.

The one that pisses me off is the one that keeps telling everyone to STICK IT TO OIL COMPANIES, DON'T BUY GAS ON MAY WHATEVERTH.

Yeah okay buddy, they make the same profit they would've otherwise when you fill up before or after that day. If you want to REALLY stick it to oil companies, you have to stop using oil, idiot.

Why can't it be the MEN who walk around naked? Are they assuming women are the only idiots in the world?

I'd sign up for that, but I'm not sure causing bleeding eyes is the actual goal of this "protest".

Now make with the naked beeriness!