Labyrinth, by JD-HIV: "Mystique is scared of goblins."

Labyrinth by JD-HIV

Hey kids, guess what time it is? TOAD FIC TIME~!!

This loverly little story starts with movie night at the Brotherhood compound. What movie are they watching?

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"Labyrinth." She said, receaving a room full of growns and a hand full of popcorn thrown at her. "Ok, Toad your cleaning that up after." Toad grumbled a bit. Mystique sat down beside Toad as the movie started. Magnito and Sabertooth left, not wanting to watch the movie again muttering something about checking on Senitor Kelly and left.

Jeez, guys, grow a pair.

Toad is not about to let Mystique's iron fist over movie night ruin his evening though, so he settles in for an hour and a half of glorifying Bowie's area.

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"Oh my god its 7:00, Come on Merlyin." Toad said, imitating a girls voice. "Who the hell names their dog Merlyin anyway?"

Not exactly Joel Hodgson, is he?

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Mystique grabbed onto his arm as one of the goblins scrambled across the room. "Oh my God." Toad said. "Mystique is scared of goblins."

"Like, you are so totally scared, oh my gawd."

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"No I'm not." Mystique said.

"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Am not!"
"Are too... DAMNIT!"

While teasing Mystique for her sudden OOCness (probably brought on by too much Bowie), Toad wishes for the goblin king to come take her away. WEEoo WEEoo, goes the crossover alarm.

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To his amazement, a white owl flew into the room in the cave and swoped down landing in front of him. The owl slowly turned into a man with a fluffly looking mullet and a shiney cape.

"Oh this is so not funny. Did Mystique hire you to do this? This is so hillarious Mystique you can come out now."

Why would Mystique hire a guy to do that? Her power is doing exactly that!

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"What are you talking about?" Jareth said. "She's there, in my castle." He said pointing behind Toad. Toad turned around to see that what should have been the T.V was a big Maze with a castle in the center. He turned around to find that he was now outside.

"Is that the castle beyond the goblin City... wait... what the hell... I know thats the castle beyond the goblin city."

Sorry for the incoherency, Jareth, somebody is distracted by your area.

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"It doesn't look that far." Toad said. "Its farther than I know time is sure of it, I know.

Like I said, exposure to Bowie's crotch may cause disorientation. Other symptoms may include vertigo, balance problems, dizziness, jerky eye movements, nystagmus, hearing loss, nausea, vomiting, and falling. If you experience three or more of these symptoms you should consult your doctor in case you have developed Labrynthitis.

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"Actually no." He said. "I wasn't intending to turn her into a goblin. I was intending on making her my queen. Such a pitty." He said as he walked backwards and disapeared. Toad scoffed.

"Yeah, she is kinda pitty. I keep telling her not to pick at her zits, but will she listen?"

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"Yeah, real pitty that I wouldn't have to put up with her bossing me around anymore." He said, as he started walking towards the maze. "Toad get your slimy ass down here and clean the kitchen, Toad have you finished painting the torch yet, Toad turn down that noise you call music..." He said, imitating Mystique in a sarcastic prepy voice.

DAMN THOSE EVIL PREPS!!

OK, so the next part is Toad going through the maze and either threatening or beating the crap out of the various characters from the movie. You guys can have that part if you want, Imma skipping to the end.

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He looked over to his left and saw the castle. "Finaly." He looked down at his watch. "It took Sarah exactly 13 hours and I did it in a whole what.... 4 and a half."

Uh, you have superpowers, asshole. Actually, nevermind, that is probably as close to IC as he is gonna come here.

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"Jareth!" Toad yelled.

"Toad?" He heard a voice say.

"Jareth~!"
"Toad!"
Jar- oh wait, it's just you Mystique."

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"Jareth put this coller on me so that I couldn't escape." She said. Toad tried to pry it off but it wouldn't budge. He sighed and spit some acid onto the lock so that the lock broke but it wouldn't harm her.

Fun fact: There has never been a single incarnation of Toad that could spit acid. Ever.

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The coller came off and she turned into a giant bird who picked up Toad by his sholders and flew back over to the begining of the labyrinth.

"Ok somehow that was too easy."

Hmmm, it is almost as if the whole scenario was set-up to be challenging to young girls who lack superpowers.

So they get home. What does Magneto have to say about the matter?

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"Hey isn't this that annoying worm from the movie?"

"Yes can I eat it?" Toad asked. Magnito shrugged.

"Fuck, it's not a mutant, why would I care?"

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Mystique turned off the T.V. took out the tape and threw it across the room, making it smash into tiny bits.

"I never want to see that movie again!"

"GOOD!" Toad, Magnito and Sabertooth said at the same time.

"Next time we will watch Absolute Beginners instead!"

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(A/N.... wow... second complete fanfiction.... and in three days yet... What is up with me.... I was never able to finish one before.... oh well... please R&R....)

Well, things like that get easier when you completely give up on plot and quality.