Snark a Wuhgwuher for fun and profit! Okay, maybe not profit

In the wake of Melissa wank and the snark of quamp's fantabulous porn, it occurs to me that many of us take ourselves way too seriously. So let's snark each other!

Rules:

1. Everybody has to pick somebody different. Post in the thread to say who you're snarking, so no one else picks them. Collaborative snarks are a-okay.
2. Everyone is fair game, like it or not >:D
3. Write up your snark and post in in New Releases, as usual. Lol mightily.
4. Feel free to post links to your less than stellar stuff in the thread, but no one is limited to just what you post here. YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM WGW.

It's all in good fun, so prove you can take a joke and laugh at yourself.

And as a show of good faith, I'll post links to my stuff:

My ff.net profile
My LJ

And never-before-revealed:

My Fictionalley profile, home of the first fic I ever posted to the interweb. I haven't looked at it in years, so it might be bad or it might just be boring

Show us what you've got, WGW!

CALLING DIBS ON MALGANIS!

I swear to god I wish I had the horrible shit I wrote as a 13 year old.

I'll let you know if I find it on my hard drive.

Psy-4 give me a copy of your DEEEEEP Kingdom Hearts fanfic.

Again, dibs on quamp.

Okay, dudes. Most of my fanfiction I have a tenuous love-hate relationship with, but this one...yeah, I'm so embarrassed by it that it's been confined to secrecy for nine years. I wrote it before I knew what fanfiction was, and its only audience was a pair of Pokemon buddies whose desk I dumped updates on periodically. It's your standard shitty self-important Pokemon Suefic, but with a plethora of horribly geeky references (I thought Chrono Trigger was the best thing EVAR at the time), unexplained appearances from my original fiction, and an eventual devolution into an original story I never finished once I wised up to how stupid it was. Notably, I started to pack it in when two things happened: 1) I started a roleplaying campaign with a friend and had an outlet for my awkward writer's stupidity, and 2) I started reading and writing MiSTings and my OC MiSTies started making fun of me as I wrote. It was written from 1999-2001, is about twenty chapters long, and is a blight on mankind. If anyone wants to tear it apart, please, feel free to do so. If no one does, I may do it myself.

The other best candidate: I don't know if we're doing original fiction, but good God
this is the sickest thing I've ever written, I still don't know what the hell I was smoking.


I like to think my other fics are less of a gorram mess, but they're probably about as bad and really short if anyone wanted a quick one-off.

Lost Angles: My first proper fanfic, done in '04, in which a purposely OOC Pyramid Head rescues James Sunderland from the In Water ending and takes him out for a drink. Spoilers: The Big One. Features: MPreg. No, seriously.

I Just Can't Live Without Her: A Silent Hill songfic that's remarkably syrupy for being backed with a Tom Waits song. Spoilers: Mild. Features: TWIST ENDING ZOMG

Precipitation: Done in '06. A very serious and heart-wrenching story about Vincent dealing with the death of his lover by attempting suicide. It...it still kinda makes me cry, guys, be nice! This came from the depths of my soul! Spoilers: None.

Clockwork: Done in '07. An overly fluffy and awkward Edgeworth/Gumshoe fic based on the part in the second game where Franziska fires Gumshoe. This one just kind of makes me :/ whenever I look at it. Spoilers: None.

Joy Within Forcible Servitude: Done in '08. Vincent is violently raped and secretly loves it. No, seriously. Features: Amusement at the fact that I got away with turning this in as an English assignment. Spoilers: None.

90-Second Alphabet Jerk: oh what the hell I had totally forgotten this existed thank you AFF.net


Enjoy, guys.

But all my fics are trollfics... except my unfinished NaNoWriMo thing I guess. But I haven't posted that anywhere, I'd have to get a FictionPress account or something.

Quote :

(I thought Chrono Trigger was the best thing EVAR at the time)

It's... it's not? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Edit: Oh, and the beginning of said NaNoWriMo thing involves a guy in solitary confinement doing nothing much other than making it painfully obvious that I don't know how to make an interesting story segment out of a guy being in solitary confinement.

If anybody wants to snark my trollfics (although I don't suppose there's all that much point), they're here. Thrill! As I try to be Tara Gilesbie and fail really, really hard! Chill! As I fail to realise the difference between a trollfic and a completely incomprehensible mess of letters!

Shit I don't have any fanfiction... D:

Delcat wrote:

If no one does, I may do it myself.

Pleeeease do. I love your self-snarks.

I offer my Youtube stuff for snarking the hell out of them.

You can find them from here.

All the fics I have in the internetz are trolls and there's no way I'm going to reveal them for you. I also have lot of art, but I don't have scanner or tabloid, so they can't be torn apart either.

I'm here to make enemies.

My sig has my LiveJournal, you're more than welcome to call me a nut and snark my entries to death. My sig's fanfiction link is a troll, but if you want to, it has my Badfic Challenge entry and it has a lot of buttfucking... with Edward Cullen. Might be good for a laugh or two, but I never finished it. Here's my old fanfiction from 2004. It's... special.

I CALL DIBS ON DELLY'S FANFICTION.

...Wanna do mine in return? I'll upload the files to megaupload or something 'cause a lot of it is no longer on the internet; taken down in shame, of course. SO DO YA? DO YA DO YA WANNA?

I'll try and dig up some lolarious art for you. Trust me, there's plenty. I played Neopets back in the day.

I need to dig up the Sailor Moon OC notebook I kept in fifth grade after I first discovered fanfic. It's a treasure trove of crappy animu Sue art.

In the meantime, here's a LOLRANDOM review whoring exercise that I swore I wrote at age 13 until I realized I was as old as 15 when I last updated it. I wrote like the bastard child of quamp and Melissa trying desperately to do comedy for an obscure fighting game. Enjoy.

Also have at my stillborn forum RPG from high school, complete with my own illustrations.

I don't have anything that is still around on the Internet and I'm pretty sure I've deleted all my shitty old bad writing.

I never wrote any fanfiction anyway, it was all original fiction.

It still blew, but unfortunately I don't think there are any records of it.

I need to offer up some of my stuff, just because it's so STUPID.

The 6:00 News with Jenna Hennings is particularly disgusting. I wrote it on a dare.

Lezard and the Bubblewrap. It contains a white and nerdy sorcerer having a one-night-bland-stand with a sheet of bubblewrap. I have no excuse for this one, it's all my fault.

I do have a hard copy of a really, truly rancid original story I wrote when I was 13-15, but I never posted it in its entirety on the Internet and I never will. It's THAT bad. D:<

InkWeaver wrote:

I CALL DIBS ON DELLY'S FANFICTION.

...Wanna do mine in return? I'll upload the files to megaupload or something 'cause a lot of it is no longer on the internet; taken down in shame, of course. SO DO YA? DO YA DO YA WANNA?

BUT OF COURSE, MY SWEET! WE SHALL DRAG OUR FANFIC DEMONS KICKING AND SCREAMING INTO THE LIGHT...TOGETHER

yeah I had a feeling we'd end up doing this XD

I'm not giving you my fanfics to snark, no I'm not...

'Kay so, just so everyone who's interested can actually go read and maybe comment (HINT) on it, here's my snark of Delcat's pokefic. It's gonna be awesome. =D

Theaphelia wrote:

I do have a hard copy of a really, truly rancid original story I wrote when I was 13-15, but I never posted it in its entirety on the Internet and I never will. It's THAT bad. D:<

My earliest, and worst, fics were like that, and fortunately never hit the Internet (like a cow pie to the face) -- only that wasn't because I recognized they were horrible pieces of crap, it was because I didn't have a computer.

Theaphelia, I might do your sorcerer-does-bubble-wrap story, but I'll have to wait until I get home to take a look at it.

Oh yeah, that quampfic.

Might have another one or two coming down the pipe as well.

And in turn, the start of my snark of Inky's fic. Rage. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE.

*waves hand wildly*

Pick me! Pick me!

:headshot:

My ff.net profile


Most of my earliest stuff predates our Internet access, but you're welcome to what you find on here. Be merciless.

Is it kosher to snark yourself?

my pit account
my fpc account

Have fun.