Godawful Comics (NWS)

Quote :

He also hired an actual 14 year old fanfic writer to do the Legion stories. This made them considerably better.

Jim Shooter is who Lysander's talking about. After creating Karate Kid, Princess Projectra, Ferro (whom he killed a few issues later), the Fatal Five, and Mordru, Shooter later went on to a long carrer in comics. Editor In Chief at Marvel during the 1980's; masterminded Valiant (before his partner screwed him over and kicked him out of the company, making the comics go to shit) and Defiant (before his funding dried up); and a pretty decent return to the Legion last year--that ended with DC pulling the rug out from under him.

frostflowers wrote:

And Supergirl has to be the saddest super-powered character in the entire universe. Was there anyone who actually liked her among the other characters?

Remember, Brainaic 5 lives in a state of constant self-imposed misery over his powerlessness to change her awful fate. Oh wait, that's not actually very reassuring at all.

She makes more friends after a kindly couple adopts her from Dismal Swamp Orphanage and Superman lets her come out of the Super-closet to fight crime openly. It's almost as if this whole "abandon Kara at an orphanage" thing was a huge mistake on Superman's part. Hm.

Barbra Gordan/Batgirl gave her eulogy, so I guess they were close, until Kara died and was erased from history by the Crisis.

Quote :

Is there ANY story in which she comes out on top without first being exiled into space or something?

I assume so. I don't really have any Supergirl comics, so I kinda lose track of the character after she stops being a backup feature in Action. There have been (by my estimate, from a quick web search) about five volumes of comics called "Supergirl," so I assume she ended up doing something positive at some point without enduring horrible emotional trauma as a result.

She was also reintroduced in Superman/Batman in 2004 (which I did read), and then given her own book (which I did not), but that's so awful that I'm kinda considering writing about it in this thread. Although from what I've heard, it's improved greatly in the past year, as an actual competent writer has come aboard to fix the horrible mistakes of the previous runs.

I must admit, I find the history of American superhero comics fascinating, because of their sheer longevity and proliferation. Or, to put it another way, "I can't believe people have kept being fed the same stuff for 70+ years, and that so many different yet similar titles, characters and franchises are able to keep going". Fabulous fact: did you know that the history of 'costumed heroes' from 1939 to 1985 in Watchmen can be viewed as an allegory of the history of superhero comics in the real world?

On the subject of Supergirl, she seems to have had more revivals/reworkings than any other character I know of. This (unashamedly fanservicey) picture from Wikipedia shows no less than seven different incarnations and related/similar characters.

Spoiler:

Left-to-right: The original Kara Zor-El (the one we've been talking about here, I assume), Matrix, 1970s Kara, Post-Crisis Kara, Linda Danvers, Power Girl, Kara from Crisis on Infinite Earths. And of course, there's Superman in the background, plotting to ruin their fun no doubt.

Lysander: Brainiac 5 knew ahead of time that Kara would die in the Crisis On Infinite Earths? I'm not calling you a liar, I just haven't seen anything myself that would suggest it; if he knew in advance, shouldn't the Legion have been ready for it? (I thought the whole point of the COIE was that it upset the history-flow and that it could screw with what even time-travellers "knew" would happen) Or are you just extrapolating?

Keith Fraser wrote:

On the subject of Supergirl, she seems to have had more revivals/reworkings than any other character I know of.

It's actually missing the original-original Supergirl. I don't have the issue, but before Kara, there was a story where Jimmy making a wish with a genie or something resulted in a completely different character called "Supergirl", who vanished/died at the end of the issue. I'm pretty sure that was to gauge audience interest in the idea of there being a Supergirl.

I'm pretty sure the original, the cleavage shirt, and the 80's hair versions aren't so much revivals/re-imaginings as they are trying to make the character dress more modern, similar to the way Lois and Lana's looks change periodically. I also vaguely recall her wearing a sixties-style outfit with a hippie-looking belt, but it's not pictured here, so maybe I'm imagining it. Or maybe it was just too stupid to draw.

I started reading Superman comics in the 90's, so I remember the Matrix Supergirl. That was a mess. She was some kind of alternate reality protoplasm being thing. I don't even know. She sucked. She was an original character who had nothing whatsoever to do with Superman. She was closer with Lex Luthor than Superman. A lot closer, as I recall. Naked closer.

The Crisis came with an editorial mandate: there were to be no more Kryptonians aside from Superman EVER (which lasted about twenty years, as it turns out). It really didn't accomplish much, except to make Superman feel isolated from the rest of the DC universe, including characters that bared his name and symbol, like Supergirl.

There was also the clone Superboy, who wore Superman's symbol around for years, even though he wasn't entirely really a Kryptonian and seemed to barely even know Superman. I'm glad they eventually changed that. You'd think that Superman would take responsibility for a superpowered teenager wearing his sym . . . oh right, Dismal Swamp Orphanage, never fucking mind.

Thanos6 wrote:

Lysander: Brainiac 5 knew ahead of time that Kara
would die in the Crisis On Infinite Earths? I'm not calling you a liar,
I just haven't seen anything myself that would suggest it; if he knew
in advance, shouldn't the Legion have been ready for it?

The way the Crisis worked was kind of inconsistant; it usually did whatever the writers wanted it to do. I'm not sure how you could be ready for something that happens at all points in history simultaneously.

There were a couple of issues released around that time which strongly hinted that they knew what was going to happen to her all along (or at least that she was fated to die), but couldn't prevent it. I'm not sure if it was ever directly stated, because Kara was never mentioned again in continuity after the Crisis was over, so they didn't have much time to explain what they really meant. Also, this is when the Legion started to become an unreadable continuity snarl, so I haven't read anything past that point.

It was also directly brought up in Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow, which is where I got those panels I posted on the first page of them accidentally bringing Supergirl to a time after she was dead and introducing her to Clark (it's noncanon, but they were sure thinking about it when they wrote it).

Lysander wrote:

I started reading Superman comics in the 90's, so I remember the Matrix Supergirl. That was a mess. She was some kind of alternate reality protoplasm being thing. I don't even know. She sucked. She was an original character who had nothing whatsoever to do with Superman. She was closer with Lex Luthor than Superman. A lot closer, as I recall. Naked closer.

Oh boy, I remember being very confused when I read the beginning of The Death of Superman and saw a Supergirl with really big hair snuggling with Lex Luthor...who also had lots of hair (this was after he faked his death, downloaded his brain into a clone or something and came back as his son). Before that I was vaguely aware of a character called Supergirl and that she was some sort of sidekick to Superman. If I remember correctly, the Matrix Supergirl modelled herself on the real Supergirl of a parallel universe where Lex Luthor was good and in love with Supergirl. Then she/it came to 'our universe' (or Earth-Prime, or Earth-Souffle, or whatever they call it nowadays) and naturally assumed 'our' Lex Luthor was also a good guy.

That sounded even stupider when I typed it out...the lengths DC (and Marvel) will go to in order to reboot continuity yet keep writing about characters with the same names and abilities are mind-boggling.

Keith Fraser wrote:

Oh boy, I remember being very confused when I read the beginning of The Death of Superman and saw a Supergirl with really big hair snuggling with Lex Luthor...

See, we're in the same boat here. I had the trade paperbacks for Death of Superman, Funeral for a Friend, and Reign of the Supermen, and the prose novel that came out, and I was still completely fucking baffled by 90's Supergirl.

The Luthor Clone ordeal is one thing; frankly, as a mad scientist, he should to do that sort of thing all the damn time. I know I would, if I were a mad scientist. That was a no-brainer to figure out.

However, I could not for the life of me understand why Supergirl's fucking face melted when Doomsday punched her, or why she turned into a man made of bubblegum (or why she had telekinesis, or why she could turn invisible). The only Supergirl I was familiar with was the one from the awful movie, and that was Kara.

For a little while, I thought that's what Kryptonians were, including Superman. Freaky little shapeshifting bubblegum men. Troubling, to say the least.

I eventually ended up buying a really awful miniseries that came out about Matrix Supergirl (probably one of the five volumes of Supergirl that I mentioned) just to figure out what the hell she was, and I was still confused after reading it.

I'm not a comics reader, although I find all this really fascinating. Could someone explain the Crisis? In, uh, layman's terms?

Miss Prince wrote:

I'm not a comics reader, although I find all this really fascinating. Could someone explain the Crisis? In, uh, layman's terms?

Basic concept: DC had too many characters, too many universes, too many alternate versions of characters, and too many contradictory backstories that were (in some cases constantly) being referred to. So they had the universes merged/destroyed in a gigantic apocalyptic event, which "reset" everything. There was some stuff about the creation of the universe, and the Monitor/Anti-Monitor, and stuff, but it was basically the world's largest gigantic retcon.

Miss Prince wrote:

I'm not a comics reader, although I find all this really fascinating. Could someone explain the Crisis? In, uh, layman's terms?

It's kind of a long story. DC had a lot of titles that took place in separate parallel universes, most notably Earth-1 (the Silver/Bronze Age continuity: modern Superman, the Justice League) and Earth-2 (the Golden Age, WW2 Superman, the Justice Society). The word "Crisis" in the title of a story usually denoted a crossover between different Earths.

It was all really hard to follow. Eventually, they decided that this was too complex, so they decided to collapse it all into one universe with one timeline, and they called it The Crisis on Infinite Earths, and it was pretty awesome.

Crisis on Infinite Earths was basically a sendoff to the Silver Age and fifty years of stories in one final ultimate battle, throughout all time and space, spanning from the beginning moments of creation to the 30th century, and using every DC character ever made. So, it's a bit hard to summarize in any way that will properly convey the way the story reads, but I refuse to reconsider my call of "it's pretty awesome."

It was also a partial reboot. In some cases, the reboot really worked. Wonder Woman was awesome and relevant for the first time since . . .well, ever. In some cases, lack of editorial oversight made things worse (Christ, Hawkman) and many were kinda meh (I'm not a fane of Byrne's Superman).

That's about as laymanly as I can make it.

Also, I asked someone about modern Supergirl as she's being written right now. They told me that she's a good-hearted loser who screws up as often as she helps and has a newspaper reporter out to destroy her reputation.

I was exactly right. She is the DC Peter Parker. If her love of Superman gets her killed, then remember that I fucking called it.

I'll try.

Once Upon A Time, the DC Universe...wasn't. It was a DC Multiverse, with many different parallel universes. They interacted and intertwined in all sorts of ways, but for a sizable portion of fans, keeping all the different continuities sorted out was a headache.

So for DC's 50th anniversary in 1985, they did a mini-series, Crisis On Infinite Earths. Besides all the regular alternate universes, there was one made of anti-matter. It was ruled by an evil, godlike being called the Anti-Monitor. Using his command of anti-matter, he destroyed positive matter universes one by one; for every universe he destroyed, the anti-matter universe filled the void it left, making him stronger in the bargain. As a side-effect of this, time and space begin to get screwed up in the surviving universes, resulting in things like cavemen strolling through the 30th century or World War I biplanes over Metropolis.

Eventually, the combined heroes and villains of the final five universes (plus a few straggling survivors from universes already wiped out) managed to take the battle to the Anti-Monitor personally. The first to reach him was Superman, who nearly died. He was saved by Supergirl, who unfortunately suffered fatal injuries in the process.

Even worse, the Anti-Monitor managed to flee and heal himself. In a last-ditch attempt at victory, he absorbed the power of the entire anti-matter universe, using it to flee to the dawn of time, before the Big Bang that birthed the multiverse. He planned to overwrite Creation itself, so that the positive matter multiverse never existed; there would be the anti-matter universe, and that's all that ever would have been.

The heroes and villains learn of this, and pursue (this is really, really stupid; if he's already at the dawn of time, and they're still existing, then the status quo should be safe). When they arrive, he drains their power, saying that he exhausted his power getting there and needs theirs to overwrite Creation (told you it was stupid). But he is battled by the Spectre--no one less than the embodiment of the Wrath of God--to a standstill. Their warring energies change Creation, all right; now there is no multiverse, just one universe that combines aspects of all the previous universes. Only those present at the dawn of time remember this, no one else does. Angst ensues for certain characters, such as the Huntress; in one of the old universes, she was the daughter of Batman and Catwoman after they retired. In this new universe, the two of them are still enemies, and she has never been born, and only her fellow heroes have ever heard of her (this new world largely follows the pattern of what had been the "main" DC universe, with only a few elements from other universes' histories woven in).

The Anti-Monitor is still alive, as there is still an anti-matter universe. There is one last battle, in which most of the survivors from the other universes die, but the Anti-Monitor is killed as well. In time, even the heroes who had been at the dawn of time forget there was ever a multiverse, or that the Anti-Monitor was anything but an extra-dimensional tyrant who wanted to kill the one positive matter universe.

And as this new universe never had a Supergirl, she, too, is forgotten.

Does that make sense?

Thanos6 wrote:

Does that make sense?

If not, add the part that happened in Animal Man. That'll make it really confusing.

"BREATHES THERE A GIRL WHO HAS NEVER DREAMED OF MARRYING SUPERMAN? BUT SUCH DREAMS ARE HOPELESS, FOR EVERYONE KNOWS THAT THE MAN OF STEEL WILL NOT RISK TAKING A WIFE WHO WOULD BE IN CONSTANT DANGER FROM HIS FOES!"

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: evidence that the editors weren't even trying. Welcome to the horror that is Lois Lane issue 12.

So one day, Lois receives a package at work, and is surprised to find a live rabbit inside.

But as she quickly learns . . .

Spoiler:

Also included is a note, signed by one Professor Morris, promising her the story of the century if she contacts him. Curious about this adorable little abomination against nature, Lois picks up the phone.

What follows is the FUNNIEST set of panels I have EVER seen.

Spoiler:

Apparently, Doctor Morris here got his degree in BUNNY TORTURE.

Apparently, the story of the century is NOT about his horrible misuse of bunnies. No, it's about his super-soldier serum super-strength formula.

Spoiler:

The professor (who kinda looks like a rabbit himself) entrusts this secret to Lois freaking Lane, of all people. Meanwhile, the bunny, it's mouth caked in the fresh blood of it's handlers, awaits the chance to leap upon Morris and messily devour him. Presumably, Morris will yell that the bunny must obey him, it's creator.

However, this is not expected to dissuade the bunny.

Heading home to put the formula in a safe place, Lois finds Lana setting outside her apartment with a suitcase, uninvited. As bizarre as this sounds, Lana is sort of the villain of Superman's Girlfriend, Lois Lane. Which is really odd, when you consider that both women want the exact same thing and are in fact interchangeable, for the most part.

Lois and Lana have one of those relationships that women sometimes with each other. . . y'know, where they hang out and pretend to be friends when together, but as soon as one of them goes away, the other will be talking shit about her? I'm not sure if there's a word for it, aside from "high school," but you know what I'm talking about.

In any case, they're currently in "friendship" mode, so Lois invites her to stay and spills the beans about the super-formula that makes you super if you bathe in it.

Spoiler:

This causes Lana to have an "idea" in a very literal sense. As in, a lightbulb labeled "idea" literally pops up over her head. Gee thanks, comic. Wouldn't want to overestimate my intelligence, there.

Of course, she uses the formula, just as Lois eventually would have caved in and done.

The next day, Lana holds what appears to be a press conference to announce that she has superpowers and that the world can suck it. Presumably, she also announces her impending ownership of Superman's balls, although this is not shown on panel.

Lois, surprisingly, announces that Lana has won, and gives her a copy of Superman's schedule, so that she can go meet him and they can be happy together.

Spoiler:

Of course, this show of amazing maturity is but a ruse. Oh, Lois. You saucy little whore.

The next panel has one of those "only in comics" lines: "Er . . . Lana, are you sure you want to carry a ton of ore into the blast furnace?"

Lana experiences a day as Superman, and discovers that those invulnerable PJs he wears are really kinda essential if you want to walk into blast furnaces and get shot by atomic bullets. All of her clothes are publically destroyed (in a very nonrevealing fashion), which just embarrasses her in front of Superman and half of Metropolis.

Lois proposes a plan B to Lana: she should head off for a while and use her mighty strength to accomplish good deeds, which will win Superman's heart. Lana is thrilled with the idea, so she packs and heads off immediately for a two month goodwill tour.

Two months later, we learn the secret of Lois' diabolical plan. And what is this PLAN OF HORRORS?!

Spoiler:

TURNING LANA INTO VILECORP'S FETISH FANTASY WOMAN.

This is a story that could have only been written in a time before the Internet.

Lana alleges that it was Lois' plan all along that she do hundreds of super-acts, which turned her into Keven Sorbo.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Lois' response is a smile so wicked that I almost considered using it as an avatar. That would give Doomsday chills.

Suddenly, Professor Morris calls, and has a rather weird conversation:

Spoiler:

"Yeah, remember that formula I gave you two months ago? I lost it for no readily apparent reason. Could you not tell Superman about it, if you didn't already like eight weeks ago? What do you mean, I'm acting suspicious? I have to go. The rabbit from my mental enhancement formula testing group is pointing a loaded revolver at my head." *CLICK*

So, with that loose end tied up (or at least hacked off), Superman fixes Lana, who gives up her superpowers to fit into society's narrow view of feminine beauty. Lana and Lois become friendenemies again, while Clark is setting in the background with a look on his face like "Jesus. Chicks."

Crisis On Infinite Earths was supposed to simplify the DC Universe, leaving the reader with one simple, easy to understand continuity. Except it didn't, because they implemented it so sloppily. Instead of doing a complete reboot of everyone immediately following the series only some characters got that kind of treatment, while others continued with elements of the previous continuity. This caused problems for characters like Wonder Girl, whose origin was tied to the old version of Wonder Woman and not the rebooted version. The Legion of Superheroes was especially screwed over because their history was heavily connected to a character that no longer existed in DC continuity, Superboy. In the new version Clark Kent didn't have adventures in Smallville as Superboy. It was eventually revealed that the Superboy the Legionaires knew was actually a creation of the Legion enemy the Time Trapper, that all their time travel adventures actually led to a pocket universe, created by the Time Trapper, where that Superboy lived, and that actual time travel was impossible. Later on this too was retconned away, or something. Frankly I really can't be bothered to try and truly understand what the hell DC thought it was doing with a lot of these characters in the '90s.

I like Lois' "JUST AS PLANNED" face. Next she'll take a potato chip and eat it.

LOL, good pick. Wait a minute, Supergirl didn't end up hulking and musclebound... but I guess Supergirl is less about "constant exercise" and more about being shot into space and wallowing in soul-crushing loneliness.

OH BY THE WAY FORMULA'S GONE THE END.

And the Crisis explanations were very helpful, thanks guys.

Ah, the Lois Lane comic book. That there is something that could only happen in the Silver Age.

Personally, I'm amazed they never did a "Lana Lang: Superman's Other Girlfriend" title where Lois is the villain.

Lois Lane seems like the quintessential city girl, doesn't she? It's hard to imagine someone like that living in a small town. Surely, she was born and raised as a sophisticated Metropolisite, right?

Spoiler:

. . . wrong. Lois is from a place that makes Dismal Swamp look tame. Lois is from a place that terrifies even her.

Lois is from the appropriately named Pittsdale.

Spoiler:

The story opens with Lois reading a copy of her hometown's paper, which is announcing the 100th anniversary of their founding. The entire thing makes Lois feel wistful for some reason. Frankly, this town is the sort of place that you'd never want to speak or think of ever again upon leaving it.

Spoiler:

We meet Lucy again, who seems to have given up her job as a jewelry model to return to Stewardessing . . . or whatever.

Anyway, Superman flies her out there, because it's not like Earth's defender has anything better to do. Lois - pushy, ungrateful little tart that she is - repays this act of unbelievable genorcity by spending the entire trip trying to harangue him into marriage.

Spoiler:

Then, we arrive in Pittsdale, and are greeted by Lois' father, who is currently dying of his own crass stupidity.

Colossus over at Marvel has a runaway tractor in his origin story, too. From this, we can determine that comics hate tractors.

Thus we are introduced to Sam Lane, a man who makes the Beverly Hillbillies seem like a subtle and nuanced portrayal of rural American life.

"I'm mighty grateful to you, Superman! Lois often wrote about how you rescued her in the nick of time! Now I understand why she's so fond of you!"

He's also possibly a little gay.

Superman is agrees to stay on the farm for the weekend, provided that he returns to the Fortress by 6pm Sunday (uh, local time?) because "the stars will be in a certain position." Much like Nancy Reagan, Superman changes the course of global affairs based on his horoscope.

The next morning, Superman wakes up and, as the son of a farmer, begins doing chores. In fact, he begins using his mighty superpowers in this endeavor. This is the version of Superman who could juggle planets, mind. Sam, witnessing Superman's ability to help/destroy the entire Lane farm, is quite impressed. So much so, that he asks Superman to marry his daughter and settle down on his farm, which would presumably require Superman's retirement from adventuring and the dedicating his unearthly might to helping bring in the harvest each year.

I'm honestly not sure that Sam realizes who or what Superman is.

Spoiler:

This conversation is partially overheard by a hideous troll woman from the nearby village of Incest Falls. She, being mentally handicapped and inbred, overhears only part of the conversation before racing off to spread the word of Superman and Lois' impending nuptials.

Spoiler:

This piece of news is quickly picked up by the other horrifying residents of this Innsmouth of the Midwest.

Seemingly moments later, Superman and Lois are confronted with a newspaper announcing their impending wedding, a mob of well wishers, and a marching band.

Spoiler:

Even Lois, harridan intent on forcing the shackles of holy matrimony onto Superman's wrists though she may be, is frozen in horror and embarrassment. She's all ready to explain that this is all a mistake, but Superman points out that this will embarrass her parents in front of all the other residents of Nilbog. He requests time to figure out a graceful way out of this.

Until then, we get a few glimpses into the nightmarish vortex of humiliation and shame which forged Lois as we know her today.

Spoiler:

For starters, Lois' parents seem to have made child pornography about her.

"Well honey, it's just your ass. He'll be familiar enough with it, come this time next week. WHOOOOOWEEEEE!"

Spoiler:

Secondly, we see the kind of man Lois was willing to settle for before Clark entered the picture. Shit, if this thing with Superman doesn't work out, at least Lois can take solace in the knowledge that Chris-Chan's still single.

Spoiler:

Well, I guess the Pulitzer Prize doesn't stick it's penis in you at night, and that's what really matters.

Spoiler:

Dowry?!

DOWRY?!

Really? For serious?

At least he's graciously accepting this romantic gift of cows, pigs, and the family's traditional deflowering shack.

As time passes by, Superman is no closer to finding a socially acceptable way of breaking off the engagement. Lois is thus forced to walk down the isle in her mother's wedding dress, being forced into a sham marriage that doesn't fulfill her need to be loved at all.

So basically, how Superman feels around her ALL THE TIME.



However, a flight of jet fighters suddenly races low overhead, buzzing the ceremony seemingly to honor it. However, they keep doing it, disrupting the ceremony.

Spoiler:

Apparently, Lucy Lane: airline stewardess has the authority to deploy and command an Air Force fighter squadron, which (under her orders) prevents the ceremony from proceeding until Superman's deadline passes.

Probably not a good idea to think about the implications to national security that this brings up.

I just . . . I don't know. Fuck this, I'm going trick-or-treatin'.

I know it's extremely childish to laugh at "gay crowd" but I did anyway.

Quote :

Thus
we are introduced to Sam Lane, a man who makes the Beverly Hillbillies
seem like a subtle and nuanced portrayal of rural American life.

"I'm
mighty grateful to you, Superman! Lois often wrote about how you
rescued her in the nick of time! Now I understand why she's so fond of
you!"

He's also possibly a little gay.

Oh, boy, would that explain a lot about the current version of ol'Sam. Instead of a farmer, he started off as a stereotypical Military Man! who treated Lois like crap because she wasn't a boy, and strongly disapproved of Clark because he wasn't a Manly Man! He died during "Our Worlds At War" but recently was revealed to be alive and is now pretty much an out-and-out xenophobic supervillian, running his own super secret anti-alien strike team.

Deeply closetted, in denial, and filled with self loathing. That would explain so much...

Anyway, everybody pretty much knows about Superdickery, but I have to share a link to another site full of snarkings of bad comics:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Relevant to Superman and Company:

Spoiler:

A few other favorites of mine:

Spoiler:

Quote :

Superman is agrees to stay on the farm for the weekend, provided that he returns to the Fortress by 6pm Sunday (uh, local time?) because "the stars will be in a certain position." Much like Nancy Reagan, Superman changes the course of global affairs based on his horoscope.

Or maybe he's figured out the stars are coming right, and wants to be back in time to stop Great Cthulhu from destroying the Earth?

I just want to say, Lysander, that reading this has been a hoot. I never read DC comics as a kid, but I had a basic working knowledge of the universe I'd picked up from kids at school who did, and I definately remember seeing the Lois Lane ones in the rack at the drugstore and wondering why they'd devote a whole comic to some woman whose only desire was to marry Superman. Kind've like the romance comics they used to make, it struck me as just stupid.

Trioculus wrote:

Oh, boy, would that explain a lot about the current version of ol'Sam. Instead of a farmer, he started off as a stereotypical Military Man! who treated Lois like crap because she wasn't a boy, and strongly disapproved of Clark because he wasn't a Manly Man! He died during "Our Worlds At War" but recently was revealed to be alive and is now pretty much an out-and-out xenophobic supervillian, running his own super secret anti-alien strike team.

Yeah, I thought about mentioning that Post-Crisis Lois' father was Thunderbolt Ross, but I didn't think most people would get it.

I kinda like the New Krypton arc, but I hate the way that everyone turns on the heroes for no real reason. This isn't Marvel, so ordinary people aren't supposed to be driven to sheer retardation by baseless hatred on a daily basis.

Quote :

Deeply closetted, in denial, and filled with self loathing. That would explain so much...

Come to think of it . . . yeah, it would. He feels like an "alien" himself, and his bitterness and loneliness drives him to lash out against those on whom he's projected his own feelings as an outsider. Interesting point.

EDIT: Also, you know what occurred to me while I was typing the above? Superboy-Prime is basically Chris-Chan with the strength of Silver Age Superman. Imagine this with heat vision and the power to crack the planet in half. That's him, right?

In fact, compare: "I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD!" to "I'LL KILL YOU TO DEATH!"

Spoiler:

Hell, any of his purposefully lame fight dialog sounds like something Chris-Chan would say.

I'm thinking that maybe Superboy-Prime has severe autism, now.

"I'LL KILL YOU TO DEATH!" is probably my favourite retarded line in the history of ever. It's just so... beautiful in its stupidity.

Mind you, Superboy-Prime seems pretty awful - I haven't read enough of his goings-on to have formed a personal opinion on him, but he seems like he got the short end of every stick.