Annoying Television Personalities

Rabid Badger wrote:

Dr. Phil. I'm not sure what it is that makes me want to whack him one upside the head with a baseball bat, I just do.

Oprah Winfrey. Yes, I have blasphemed. Yes, I know she's supposed to be a representative of all women everywhere, but she is not now, nor has she ever been, a representative of me. Give me Ellen Degeneres any day.

Don't worry, you have my forces on your side. I have many forces.

Regis Fucking Philbin. He and Kelly should both get shoved off a cliff or something. Can not stand. :hair:

Rabid Badger wrote:

Dr. Phil. I'm not sure what it is that makes me want to whack him one upside the head with a baseball bat, I just do.

I couldn't agree with you more. I'm ashamed that he went to my alma mater, the University of North Texas (although when he went to it, it was North Texas State University.) BTW, UNT is the WORST school in the southwest to get a psychology degree.

Isn't Dr. Phil the moron that tried to shoehorn himself into the spotlight by "counseling" Britney Spears after she had a nervous breakdown? Unsolicited?

Aggie wrote:

Isn't Dr. Phil the moron that tried to shoehorn himself into the spotlight by "counseling" Britney Spears after she had a nervous breakdown? Unsolicited?

His "session" with Octomom was pretty hilarious. Instead he ended up turning it into an interview and praising her at every moment.

Every male chauvinist pig on Fox News needs to die in a fire. The womyn need to remove their firmly held lips from the pasty cocks of Hannity.

Rachael Ray- something about her just makes me twitch with annoyance.

Waffles wrote:

Every male chauvinist pig on Fox News needs to die in a fire. The womyn need to remove their firmly held lips from the pasty cocks of Hannity.

Hannity has more than one cock?

Saleha wrote:

Waffles wrote:

Every male chauvinist pig on Fox News needs to die in a fire. The womyn need to remove their firmly held lips from the pasty cocks of Hannity.

Hannity has more than one cock?

It may explain his huge ego.

theweirdkind wrote:

Saleha wrote:

Waffles wrote:

Every male chauvinist pig on Fox News needs to die in a fire. The womyn need to remove their firmly held lips from the pasty cocks of Hannity.

Hannity has more than one cock?

It may explain his huge ego.

Isn't it lizards that have two cocks? His ego isn't the only thing it would explain - it appears David Icke may be right.

Vince the ShamWow guy. I swear I want to smash his face in everytime I see his ugly mug on a ShamWow display.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Dr. Phil. I'm not sure what it is that makes me want to whack him one upside the head with a baseball bat, I just do.

Oprah Winfrey. Yes, I have blasphemed. Yes, I know she's supposed to be a representative of all women everywhere, but she is not now, nor has she ever been, a representative of me. Give me Ellen Degeneres any day.

You want to whack Dr. Phil with a bat because he's Dr. Phil. The only positive thing he has done was the opening bit of Scary Movie 4. Which was also the only positive thing in the movie.

I mean, what doctor goes by his first name? We don't call them General David or Coach Mike.

Now, I'd rather watch a black screen than either Oprah or Ellen, but at least Ellen can be funny. And she isn't so ridiculously emotional about EVERYTHING. If Oprah saw a child throw a baseball, she'd wax lyrical about how INSPIRING and IMPRESSIVE this kid was for an hour long show.

She's like the female Barack Obama.

Ellen doesn't take herself nearly as seriously. And nobody who's on network TV at 3 PM, when only sick people and stupid people are watching, ever should.

Miss Misery wrote:

Vince the ShamWow guy. I swear I want to smash his face in everytime I see his ugly mug on a ShamWow display.

Say what you will about him, his commercial mug looks a hell of a lot better than his mugshot.

Loki wrote:

Rabid Badger wrote:

Oprah Winfrey. Yes, I have blasphemed. Yes, I know she's supposed to be a representative of all women everywhere, but she is not now, nor has she ever been, a representative of me. Give me Ellen Degeneres any day.

Oprah's support of that anti-vax scare-mongering twat Jenny McCarthy did it for me.

For me it was her relentless plugging of The Secret, and her obstinate refusal to see the Unfortunate Implications: that if (as the author said) "when you think a thought, you are attracting like thoughts to you", if "everything that's coming into your life you are attracting into your life" -- then Oprah herself attracted her grinding childhood poverty, her chronic weight problems, and her repeated molestation. She must have been thinking about them, so they manifested in her life. After all, as the author said -- in these exact words -- "The only reason any person does not have enough money is because they are blocking money from coming to them with their thoughts."

Self-Help's Slimy "Secret"

Quote :

You want to whack Dr. Phil with a bat because he's Dr. Phil. The only positive thing he has done was the opening bit of Scary Movie 4. Which was also the only positive thing in the movie.

I mean, what doctor goes by his first name? We don't call them General David or Coach Mike.

Dr. Ruth started the ball rolling on that one. Let's not forget that.

I have to agree with the Jeremy Kyle suggestion, also Chelsea Handler, Sarah Silverman, Steve Jones from T4 and Alex Zane.

Cactus Wren wrote:

For me it was her relentless plugging of The Secret, and her obstinate refusal to see the Unfortunate Implications: that if (as the author said) "when you think a thought, you are attracting like thoughts to you", if "everything that's coming into your life you are attracting into your life" -- then Oprah herself attracted her grinding childhood poverty, her chronic weight problems, and her repeated molestation. She must have been thinking about them, so they manifested in her life. After all, as the author said -- in these exact words -- "The only reason any person does not have enough money is because they are blocking money from coming to them with their thoughts."

Self-Help's Slimy "Secret"

Oh God. I was forced to watch that movie in Intrapersonal Communications last semester, and it was only the start of the horrifyingly offensive and unscientific bullshit that bastard taught. My favorite quote? "[Positive energy] is like electricity, y'know? No one really knows what electricity is!" Because it's not like that's third-grade science or anything. Make no mistake, anyone who buys into that bullshit is either an idiot or a bastard or both. It's one of those little universal tells.

...

The Washington Post wrote:

"The only reason why people do not have what they want is because they are thinking more about what they don't want than what they do want." By this logic, Holocaust victims brought it on themselves, as did those who lost their homes in Hurricane Katrina. Come on, New Orleans, get over it! Think positive!

I wrote:

---We are treated to a word-of-mouth "success story" about a man who is discriminated against by his coworkers, people on the street, etc. for being gay, but "visualizes" himself out of it with happy thoughts. Implication? If someone has a prejudice, it's YOUR fault, and you can THINK it away. Gosh, it's a shame no one told the Holocaust victims that.

It's nice to know someone out there is making the same sense that you are.

Delcat wrote:

"[Positive energy] is like electricity, y'know? No one really knows what electricity is!"

In fairness, nobody's ever seen an electron move from A to B. It's just our best guess at what's going on there. Still, I hate it when people use gaps in real scientific theory to push feely bullshit.

Spoiler:

Rabid Badger wrote:

Dr. Phil. I'm not sure what it is that makes me want to whack him one upside the head with a baseball bat, I just do.

Oprah Winfrey. Yes, I have blasphemed. Yes, I know she's supposed to be a representative of all women everywhere, but she is not now, nor has she ever been, a representative of me. Give me Ellen Degeneres any day.

Please, Oprah my representative? I'd rather jump off a cliff.My mum watches these shows daily, and I hate them with a fiery passion. Also, Ty Pennington. I wish I could stuff that bullhorn down his throat.

Debbie Travis. She's bossy and pushy and full of 'We need to do this,' and 'We need to work through the night,' right before she swans off and lets her crew do it all.

Hit return twice, is it that hard?

Yattara wrote:

Hit return twice, is it that hard?

Don't make fun of my small mindedness. :unskilled78:

Yattara wrote:

Hit return twice, is it that hard?

Just slightly counterintuitive. *shrugs* Thanks for the help.

Hahaha. Oh Nihilist, you're my favourite kind of administrator. You and your post editing, your icon editing, your custom title editing... these are much better punishments than bans. Much more fun to watch, especially when Mikey is the victim.

Mr. Comic Book wrote:

Quote :

You want to whack Dr. Phil with a bat because he's Dr. Phil. The only positive thing he has done was the opening bit of Scary Movie 4. Which was also the only positive thing in the movie.

I mean, what doctor goes by his first name? We don't call them General David or Coach Mike.

Dr. Ruth started the ball rolling on that one. Let's not forget that.

Yeah, but Dr. Ruth is cool and she was sniper in the Army. Unlike Mr. Rogers or John Denver.

karmyn31 wrote:

Mr. Comic Book wrote:

Quote :

You want to whack Dr. Phil with a bat because he's Dr. Phil. The only positive thing he has done was the opening bit of Scary Movie 4. Which was also the only positive thing in the movie.

I mean, what doctor goes by his first name? We don't call them General David or Coach Mike.

Dr. Ruth started the ball rolling on that one. Let's not forget that.

Yeah, but Dr. Ruth is cool and she was sniper in the Army. Unlike Mr. Rogers or John Denver.

Are you fucking putting down Mr. Rogers right now.

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Mary Murphy from Dancing With the Stars. My only exposure to her is from watching "The Soup", but that's enough to make me want to gouge our my ears.