Shitty Homestuck Prompts, part uh... 5, I think?

I got my second wind after a severely painful oral surgery. The searing agony really cleared my head and refreshed the whiskery husk where once my soul did dwell.

LET'S DO A HOMESTUCK RP PROMPT!!!

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((NSFW Oviposition/Egg laying kink with trace amounts of inflation,

First line of the OOC deets thrusts us balls-deep into this young person's libido.

I honestly am kinda baffled with this 'things coming out of the vagina/orifice' subset of fetishes. But then again, I have very vivid recollections of things coming out of me during my periods. I don't think there even are female menstruation fetishists... But feel free to correct me.

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although if you ask I’ll probably say yes to most other kinks.

I hate it when my F-L(i)st gets into my Cheru(b)play.

In any case, feel free to procee--

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Basic premise is, some seadwellers have retained the ability to lay eggs,

Stop.

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and Eridan needs a nice, warm place to lay them.

You don't understand what you're doing here, man.

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Which is where your character comes in.

Please, man. We can talk this through.

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I would adore a Karkat or a Sollux,

Well, I milked that for all it was worth.

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though you can ask about other characters,

How generous of you giving me permission to play whoever you want to fucking lay your eggs in, bro. How enlightened of you.

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though no genderbends, OC’s, or Feferi’s, sorry.

I guess I'll be taking my male silverblooded Feferi elsewhere, then.

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Pre-established relationship not required, though would probably help explain a few things.

Translation: "I don't care about plot! Let's just get to the egg insertions!"

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The skin of his distended belly of smooth and taut, just a single hint of the things that were brewing inside.

I don't know about you guys, but something is brewing inside my stomach. Mostly bile. Hopefully no blood this time.

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If he cared to press down hard enough, he might feel the hard outlines of an unknown number of eggs, each one a reminder of how unnatural this entire situation, another weight on both his body and his mind.

DON'T FUCKING PRESS DOWN.

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In the beginning it was easy enough to hide, a loose fitting shirt was enough to mask the slight bulge of his stomach, and indistinctly use his cape as a sort of shield, warily eying anyone who got too close then as though they meant harm.

Canonically everyone more or less hates Eridan anyway, so it's not like he has anything to lose from just letting everyone see his filthy swollen fish body.

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In the recent month however all thoughts of hiding it were completely and undisputedly impossible and somewhat idiotic,

I'm glad to see the author caught on and is doing something about their crippling perversions. Acknowledgement and acceptance are the first steps towards recovery.

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the waddle in his walk showing just how large he was, if looks alone wouldn’t show that,

That's technically still looks. I hate logical issues in my gross porn prompts. >:C

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choosing instead to isolate himself from others, locking himself in his room, making excuses to stay even now

Again, I highly doubt this would be out of character with Eridan, considering how the majority of the other trolls feel towards him. Author needs to stop pretending he was a social butterfly and not a genocidal, angsty pre-teen.

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as he looked his shirtless self over in the mirror, glumly running his hand over the bump of his stomach again, a regular pastime of his now.

Because the author actually has no idea what Eridan's actual hobbies are.

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Trolls were supposed to have dropped the ability to lay eggs thousands of sweeps ago, why was he of all trolls a throwback to the times before the mother grub?

Because you are cursed to be the favorite character of someone with a very specific kink, Eridan. Just like everyone else. You ain't special.

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The self-pity did nothing of course except make him feel worse.

Yeah, but it sure beats eating a handful of broken glass.

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Scratch that.

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Eridan knew the entire situation was hopeless,

He knew the very second he saw the word 'oviposition'.

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although he knew enough about the process to know exactly what was to happen next, or what should happen next even if he had never had this happen to him before.

... How. The author has already very explicitly stated that basically this is an unheard of phenomenon among modern trolls. How does he know?

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A willing troll to host his brood was all he needed now, but if he were honest to himself, what troll in their right mind would accept?

He could always impregnate himself!

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He himself could see it was freakish, unnatural,

Why does the author keep letting his own insecurities about himself keep surfacing? If you're gonna pitch this, you need to be confident.

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though the thought of the unfertilized, unlaid eggs rotting away inside of him

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He would worry about that later, he still had a good two weeks until he would have to grow desperate, even if they were ready to lay now.

I do that with my pressing medical issues, too.

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A sudden knock at the door made him freeze for just a moment before he had enough sense to scramble for his shirt and cape, laid across a nearby chair.

I have no idea why, but this strikes me as a very... generic line. Like it could come from anything that involves a character wearing a cape. Is this bad?

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“Don’t come in.” He commanded, wondering who the fuck had the nerve to disturb him even after he made it clear he wanted to be left alone.

What if it was a Witness, though.

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Perhaps the fact that he hadn’t left in more than a month was enough to warrant attention

"Perhaps if Eridan was not a fish-based humanoid, he would have had the foresight to defecate in a single corner of the room instead of just kinda letting it trail after him."

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The shirt he put on barely covered his stomach, he would have to make use of his cape, shrouding the violet fabric about him as he scurried towards the door,

It's funny if you pretend this is actually Batman trying to hide his paunch.

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peering out, trying not to appear at all nervous. “What the hell do you want?”

I WANT THIS TRAVESTY TO END...
Oh, and it has! How thoughtful of you to listen to me.

Well, that was certainly less awful than the last thing I did, but it still had some amazingly cringey parts. Overall score: 3/100, would not fire into sun.

The sheer number of people with Eridan egg-laying kinks is hilarious.