What did I just read?

I think I found the MLP version of my Immortal. Its abuse of the English language nearly left me in tears, so offended was I by the poor use of grammar and even worse spelling. I'm smelling a Trollfic, but whatever: it's entertaining, in the least. By the way - I'm not in the MLP fandom, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to make fun of something. So if you spot any mistakes, just message me and I'll fix them up.

This is my first sporking, so, um ... be kind.

[quotethe spiderses
by ~Argembarger][/quote]

The title basically foretells everything wrong with the fanfic.

Quote :

It was a beutiful spring daty in equestrias when tilight sparkle was in her study where she lived. Spike! She sayd, come here spike! And spike camed over to her, What do you want Twilight spike said and twilight said "Spike I need you to gt me the book of magic ok spike said I will get it for you and he went over to the bookshelf to get the book for Twilight Sparkle. It was a dusty book and spike almost sneezed but he didn't.

Yes, this is the kind of fanfic that offers a detailed description of how Spike almost sneezed, but he didn't. How lucky for him.

Quote :

He gaved the book to twilight and she said thank you spike go away now" and spike said ok I will go away and he slided away like a dragon. TWlilight opened the pook to chapter 5 and said ok magic please happen and the magic began happening in her horn and she did the spell!

He slid away like a dragon!

Maybe he can slide himself out of this fanfic?

  

Quote :

it was a magic spell and she knew that it was magic which is why she casted it because her cutie mark is magic because she is a uunicorn.
The spell made everything bigger and eight. "why is everything bigger and eight?>?" wilight said. oh it is because i am a spider now

I cannot pick a single hole in Twilight's logic.

So basically, Twilight (or 'Tea Light', as I am henceforth calling her in honour of the author's spelling inconsistency) starts to panick because she's turned into a spider, and she can't call 'Spiek' because he would stomp on her and kill her. Um, okay.

Quote :

and then she herd a voice well not really a voice but it sounded like another spider! she oculd understand the spider clicks and she new that it was a spider and that she had to go and talk to this other spider because that is what spiders do (talk to other spiders)

She herded a voice! Is she a voice shepherd? Does she herd all the little voices back into their pens at night?

  

Quote :

a red spider appeared and said "helo twilight I am a big mac spider now?? why' and twilight spider said "uh big mac spider is it because I casted a spell that wsent wrong" and the big red macspider said ok well maybe but can you fix it and twilight said

So now spiders can be competitively priced hamburgers! The fun never ends!

I'll post the next chapter (in which sandwich arachnid and Tea Light have spider-sex) if you guys want it.

 Hey guys ...

I think everyone reading this is too busy going "...Wut?"

Freezer wrote:

I think everyone reading this is too busy going "...Wut?"

Yes, probably. Sorry, I'm ... new at sporking.

I'm not familiar with the MLP fandom, so when the fic talked about Spike I imagined Spike from Buffy. This is probably not what was intended, but I think it improves the story as Spike from Buffy is hot. It's not like the hit to the plot coherency really hurts in this case anyway... If Twilight Sparkle can turn herself into a spider, maybe she can summon a character from another fandom too.

Considering the OC is called Twilight Sparkle, I'd say there was a 93.8% chance that this was written as a joke.

I base this calculation on absolutely nothing.

Cunovendus wrote:

Considering the OC is called Twilight Sparkle, I'd say there was a 93.8% chance that this was written as a joke.

I base this calculation on absolutely nothing.

Did you remember to carry the three?

Also calling trollfic. No one is this wretched on purpose.

If no-one is this wretched on purpose, then it must be an accident. Therefore it's not a trollfic. QED.

I thought Twilight Sparkle was the canonical heroine... Well, it's not like I'm particularly aware of the fandom, but I'm sure it was something along those lines at least. The ponies are aimed at little girls, after all.

Nerdanel wrote:

I thought Twilight Sparkle was the canonical heroine... Well, it's not like I'm particularly aware of the fandom, but I'm sure it was something along those lines at least. The ponies are aimed at little girls, after all.

Is that so? I literally have no idea about MLP (I don't even know what it is, actually!). I should probably stick to my usual habit of not posting in threads regarding fandoms that I know nothing about.

MLP is short for My Little Pony, a franchise that is all about selling colorful plastic pony dolls to little girls. I was there during the first craze. My first pony was an orange pegasus with rainbow-colored mane and tail and a butterfly on the bum, which should give you some idea of what the ponies are like. There are a lot of variations. (And I can't believe I ended up explaining things in this thread given how little attention I've paid to the pony comeback. I've also dated myself.)

Ah yes, of course, I should have known that. I've heard of My Little Pony (I was there for the first craze too but I was never interested). I just can't believe it has such a cult following all of a sudden...even more surprising is that there are men who like it!

It seems like a troll to me, but it could legit be like a 7 year old.

Well me being afraid of spiders the worst part had to have been the spider sex.

And I'd be bawling my eyes out at the grammar and spelling if I hadn't have read a cringe-worthy Sonic/Shadow Mpreg fic where the author thought butts were self-lubricating.