Worst Christmas Songs

I have a personal hate for Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime". How many times can you repeat one line in a song? It's the worst.

"Christmas Shoes" is horrible too- google it if you don't know it. It's basically the tale of a little boy who wants to buy some shoes for his mom because she's dying and wants her to look pretty before she "meets Jesus."

ADD MORE. COME ON.

I hate Jingle Bells. Also Rudolph. Both of the OH GOD WHO COMES UP WITH THIS SHIT variety.

LeeAnn Rimes performed at work last week and fucking A.

Not as bad as the time I served the Jackson four but, still. This is relevant because LeeAnn is going around singing Christmas songs in smoky casinos.

Does she still look like shit? I know she was like anorexic thin at one point.

LeeLee wrote:

"Christmas Shoes"

OH HOLY CRAP I HATE THAT TOO. YES PLEASE DEPRESS ME AT THIS TIME OF YEAR WITH A TALE OF A LITTLE BOY'S MAMMY GOING TO HEAVEN SOON

the only way i can listen to it is if i imagine the boy is scamming shoes out of people with his tale of woe and then goes door to door selling the fuckers in january

She does! And she doesn't even sing that well anymore. It's kind of sad in a way.

Instead of singing the lyrics to "Santa Claus is coming to town" Try just reading them. For additional points, read them in a Satan voice.

Quote :

He knows when you are sleeping...

He knows when you're awake...

He knows if you've been bad or good...

So be good...

For goodness sake...

.

Also there's "Baby, it's cold outside"

AKA the Christmas Date-Rape song...

The whole beginning is some girl trying to remove herself from a situation... Followed by...

She wrote:

Maybe just half a drink more.

And then she's fucked.

She wrote:

Say, what's in this drink?

And he's loving it.

He wrote:

No cabs to be had out there...

And...

She wrote:

I ought to say: No! No! No, sir!

He wrote:

Mind if I move a bit closer?

She wrote:

At least I'm gonna say that I tried.

0.o

Oh, if we're going down THAT route, I hate Rudolph at least partly because the message is that if you're different you better at least be useful, because nobody will like you if you're just different. Also Santa is the kind of employer who doesn't give a shit about mobbing.

But I also just hate the song because it's damn annoying.

Has anyone watched the Rudolph movie as of late? It's horrible! Even the father rejects Rudolph. Everyone is terrible to him, and as an adult I was just like :0 watching.

XM@$ is a load of crap, but it pales in comparison to:

Fairy Tale of New York

Seriously, this fucking dirge is never off the fucking air over Christmas in this country. Ihateit. Ihateit. Ihateit. Ihateit. Ihateit. Ihateit. Ihateit.

LeeLee wrote:

Has anyone watched the Rudolph movie as of late? It's horrible! Even the father rejects Rudolph. Everyone is terrible to him, and as an adult I was just like :0 watching.

Like in childhood it's understandable to not really be horrified by this movie? I loved it just because Hermie got to be a dentist at the end. The hyperbole of "you don't fit in, even your parents are ashamed of you!" is understandable to some people, even in adulthood. Doesn't make it less terrible.

You know what would be a shorter list? Christmas songs that aren't utter shit.

They are, by and large, the most annoying, uninspired waste of noise ever created. Just fucking sing Happy Birthday at church and shut the fuck up.

The only good Christmas songs are Carol of the Bells and anything a rock star covers in an almost parodic manner. Like Alice Cooper singing Santa Claws is Coming to Town. Or Ronnie James Dio singing God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.

Nihilist wrote:

LeeLee wrote:

Has anyone watched the Rudolph movie as of late? It's horrible! Even the father rejects Rudolph. Everyone is terrible to him, and as an adult I was just like :0 watching.

Like in childhood it's understandable to not really be horrified by this movie? I loved it just because Hermie got to be a dentist at the end. The hyperbole of "you don't fit in, even your parents are ashamed of you!" is understandable to some people, even in adulthood. Doesn't make it less terrible.

I think as a kid it was just a simple "Rudolph is good, they are being mean" mentality. It wasn't until I watched it about last year or so that I was like "all the adults in his life are shit!" I like it after he runs away with Herbie.

"Santa Baby" as sung by a man.

I'm not kidding.

Okay, it's Michael Buble, which partially excuses it, but this is not a guy song. And though he tries very hard to make it more masculine, it just sounds . . . wrong.


Still not as bad as the dance remix I hear at work. :headdesk:

For some reason...I'm having flashbacks to Nostalgia Chick's list of inescapable Christmas songs...

I'll just add Rocky Mountain Christmas by John Denver here. NO Christmas song should be about drunken spousal abuse.

Ewww, 2nding Baby it's Cold Outside. I pointed out the date rape implications to my dad just about a week ago and he had never notised it before. Laughed his ass off.

JINGLE BELL JINGLE BELL JINGLE BELL FUCK
JINGLE BELL SHIT AND JINGLE BELL PISS

Do They Know It's Christmas Time?

Hate, hate, hate it. Africa is a continent, not one country.

The Christian countries may know it's Christmas time. The Muslim countries may not give a shit. Rivers do flow in Africa. The Nile, anyone? Every other line seems to have a shocking generalisation or patronising homily.

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas". Instant depression...

cristina_chavia wrote:

Do They Know It's Christmas Time?

This. I cannot believe I forgot this one. This song is so offensive.

Hah, you have such a variety of Christmas songs. Here, the stores and EVERYTHING prefer to repeat the same three songs nearly all the Thor damn time.

The loop consists on:

- Jingle Bells

- Silent Night

- this abomination


Sometimes they add some variation... by that I mean they add some eight slightly different arrangements of Jingle Bells in the mix, which somehow make it all even more fucking irritating. Going to the mall on Christmas season is Hell.

Antidote:

WD40, I was ready to get into a long rant about how "I saw Mommy Kisssing Santa Claus" is undeniably, unbelievably creepy (especially the Jackson Five version), but then I read the video title a little closer.

WD40 wrote:

Antidote:

Spoiler:

ILU