All he wanna do is pound on mah muffinnn

So if "3 Second Rule" is Rebecca Black when she becomes a 40-something soccer mom, Shira is Ms. Black in her early 20's celebutard phase.



Yeah, I know this is kinda old, but I forgot to post this when it came out, and when I saw someone had posted "3 Second Rule" I thought to myself, "I see your '3 Second Rule' and I raise you a POUND ON MAH MUFFIN!"

First of all, the video, which just perfectly compliments the awfulness of the song...

#1 - those are cupcakes, not muffins.
#2 - those outfits are ugly. Especially the one she wears during the dance segments.
#3 - just so you guys know, that's her dad driving the car. I bet he's proud...
#4 - I like how the panties that say "I <3 Pink" she wears at :44 are one of the only things in this video that aren't pink.
#5 - seriously, the pink and black is an ugly fucking color scheme.
#6 - lol the ghetto/cheap paper cups have "swag" written on them.
#7 - ok, the sugar snorting made me smirk...

So the song starts with alarms to let you know that her muffin is no ordinary muffin, her muffin is a WANTED MAN. It's DANGEROUS. PUBLIC ENEMY #1 IS SHIRA'S MUFFIN!

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MUFFIN!?!? IT'S ARMED AND DANGEROUS!

Quote :

My shades are Versaci, and my drawers are secret
So sexy in Victoria Secret.

And thus begins Shira's trend of openly contradicting herself. Which she does in almost every line of this song.

Quote :

I'm a very freaky girl, don't give it up for nothing
All he want to do is just pound on my muffin.

Ok, let me say I feel like the word "freaky" is way too overused in hip-hop and R&B, because they use the term all the time, but never give any reason to believe that they're actually doing anything freakier than maybe anal. And if all this guy is doing is "pounding on her muffin" she isn't being "very freaky" at all. You want very freaky?

Girl: OHH YESS DOOBIE CHOKE ME PLEASE!

Doobie: ...

Girl: BITE OFF MY NIPPLES!

Doobie: ...

Girl: *starts crying* I'M SORRY DADDY I'LL BE GOOD!

Doobie: O.O *withdraws*

Girl: IT HURTS DADDY STOP!

Doobie: !!!

Girl: I WON'T MAKE JESUS CRY AGAIN JUST DON'T HURT ME ANYMORE!

Doobie: OH GOD WHAT DID I DO HOW DO I TURN IT OFF?

Quote :

Now he thinks he a pimp-daddy mack
But he rides a bus, he ain't even got a 'Lac!

HA HA HE USES PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION!

I mean, it's so clear from this ghettofabulous music video that Shira is a classy, wealthy lady...

Quote :

Tell me where I meet her
You know how how I beat her
And she love how a nigger treat her!

I don't know if he's describing an abusive relationship or S&M...

And now a filthy palate cleanser...



Oh Peaches, you can fuck my pain away any day...

That was possibly the trashiest 3 minutes and 45 seconds of my life. At least "3 Second Rule" lady had her video shot on a sweet, folksy pretend school set. Here, this has impressed me so much that I'll share a song from Shira's Italian counterpart:



She's Ernie.

Euglena wrote:

That was possibly the trashiest 3 minutes and 45 seconds of my life. At least "3 Second Rule" lady had her video shot on a sweet, folksy pretend school set. Here, this has impressed me so much that I'll share a song from Shira's Italian counterpart:



She's Ernie.

I was sure that I heard the lyrics wrong, I don't speak Italian after all. I looked up the lyrics, and I was right about what I thought I heard her singing.

If she's Ernie, does that make the dude Bert?

knightwithoutacause wrote:

If she's Ernie, does that make the dude Bert?

The red haired gal with the piercings is totally Elmo.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Girl: OHH YESS DOOBIE CHOKE ME PLEASE!

Doobie: ...

Girl: BITE OFF MY NIPPLES!

Doobie: ...

Girl: *starts crying* I'M SORRY DADDY I'LL BE GOOD!

Doobie: O.O *withdraws*

Girl: IT HURTS DADDY STOP!

Doobie: !!!

Girl: I WON'T MAKE JESUS CRY AGAIN JUST DON'T HURT ME ANYMORE!

Doobie: OH GOD WHAT DID I DO HOW DO I TURN IT OFF?

This is my laugh of the week. Thank you Doobs.

[quote][I'm a very freaky girl,/quote]



That whirring sound you hear is RIck James doing barrel rolls in his grave. When did "Super Freak" become "Super Whore"?

EileenK98 wrote:

When did "Super Freak" become "Super Whore"?

What exactly do you think that song was about?

IT'S HAPPENING



IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING

EileenK98 wrote:

Quote :

[I'm a very freaky girl,

That whirring sound you hear is RIck James doing barrel rolls in his grave.

And the clang you heard shortly after that was my jaw dropping in absolute disbelief. What were they smoking when they thought up that video?

What the hell did you just have me watch? And now Youtube wants me to watch more videos like that!

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Girl: OHH YESS DOOBIE CHOKE ME PLEASE!

Doobie: ...

Girl: BITE OFF MY NIPPLES!

Doobie: ...

Girl: *starts crying* I'M SORRY DADDY I'LL BE GOOD!

Doobie: O.O *withdraws*

Girl: IT HURTS DADDY STOP!

Doobie: !!!

Girl: I WON'T MAKE JESUS CRY AGAIN JUST DON'T HURT ME ANYMORE!

Doobie: OH GOD WHAT DID I DO HOW DO I TURN IT OFF?

I've done freakier.

We know all about the horse-fellating already, Clopper.

I'm talking about human women, shithead.

xerrofoot wrote:

I'm talking about human women, shithead.

Your imaginary friends don't count.

xerrobrains wrote:

I'm talking about human women, shithead.

No human female in her right mind would give you the time of day, xerrobrains.

EDIT: Normally I wouldn't bother commenting on anything xerrobrains has to say, but in this case I'll gladly make an exception.

I THOUGH YOU WERE IGNORING ME CHRISSY

xerrofoot wrote:

I've done freakier.

How To Be A Complete Tool: A step-by-step guide.

1. Find a thread that's been dead for a while. At least three weeks, but half a year or more is best.

2. Post something completely irrelevant and inane, thus bumping a dead topic without actually bringing it back to life.

3. Bonus points if you use the opportunity to brag about something.

4. Double bonus points if you can find something that's really, really inappropriate, such as following a history of rape threats with a post bragging about all the demeaning, violent things you've supposedly done to women.

5. Insult everyone who now thinks you're a tool.

6. Find a new thread. Repeat.



Seriously, Clopper, you're like that kid that comes up with a joke half an hour after everyone else has changed the topic. Stop necroposting for no damn reason.

grmblfjx wrote:

Seriously, Clopper, you're like that kid that comes up with a joke half an hour after everyone else has changed the topic.

Actually, Grumbles, he's more like the punch-drunk boxer who keeps swinging after the bell's already rung to end the fight and the trainer's trying to get him to leave the ring.

I was talking about the fact that he always goes for dead threads. That's more like the boxer who sneaks into the ring after the actual combatants have left and all the lights have been turned out.

Good point.