GIRL YOU MAKE ME WANNA GICHU PREGNANT

R. Kelly, ever the champion of women's rights wrote:

Never felt nothing like this, Shes more than a mistress
enough to handle my buisness, Now put that girl in my kitchen

Yes, this horrific tripe is actually a song. A real song, written in complete earnest, by R. Kelly (unsurprising), Tyreese (disappointing), and some other guy that used to be SO FUCKING AWESOME before he inexplicably started sucking, and hard.

But let's stray from finger-waggling at misapplied/lost talent and get into these awesome lyrics, shall we?

Quote :

Girl you make me wanna get you pregnant,
Girl you make me wanna get you pregnant,
Lay your body down and get you pregnant,
Knock you up, pregnant, Knock you up

The chorus. And trust me when I say that this is the least horrific part of this song.

Quote :

All the pretty ladies please line up right next to me,
How would you like to go on a little trip with your boy Tyrese,
Raise your hand if you want me to fulfill your fantasy,
I can have you co-starring and get in one of my new movies,
Tell me what your name is,
I can make you famous,

Because if there's any one thing you want the mother of your child to be part of, it's raunchy drunken porn! :D

Quote :

Around the world in and out of clubs hanging with chicks
and I don't see nothing wrong with having a kid

Also, philandering douchebags who are at the club every night are the perfect candidates for fatherhood. Trufax.

Quote :

if you choose me i guarantee the rest of your life will be mad drama free
ooooo ooooo ooooo
i think both of us should leave this club and get somewhere alone with
me where there's no phone to ring and plant this magic seed

No.

Quote :

Your House, my House, don't matter, get it up
Your city, my city don't matter, give it up
Something about being with you makes me wanna a baby
Put those pills on chill and girl give me my baby

NO.

Quote :

Oh girl imma take care of you imma still hold you like we are brand new
So don't get it twisted for thirty something weeks i'm still gonna hit it babysit it babysit it

Wat.

Quote :

Let's go crazy
Let's make a
Little Kelly

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Fuck I can't do this anymore.

Does the movie he's going to make me a star in involves golden showers?

I want to get R. Kelly pregnant.

And by pregnant I mean dead.

The worst part is that this song is dedicated to his 14 year old baby momma. Who he also pissed on.