Holy crap! Pony Bad-fic?

Here I was, thinking I scraped bottom of the bargain bin, but suddenly, I find a spectacular little work by a one King of Sin who just happens to be aptly named for a pure, undiluted piece of trash known as Spike likes BDSM.

My god. And here I thought MLP:FiM badfic was impossible. It would never happen, I told myself confidently, and I have proven myself wrong.

[Ian remains silent for a brief, lapsing moment, his balled fist tightening as his shoulders quiver with rage. He raises his fist to the sky and bellows at the gathering storm clouds overhead, "CELESTIA WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?"]

I honestly feel like this is one of those movies the Cinema Snob would review, it is just that terrible.

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This is a story that I had on my mind for a while and I decided to write it. More or less, It's a Pinkie Pie is Spike sex slave and then they turn Applejack into one aswel.

I don't know what the hell an aswel is, but it sounds like there's a shampoo for it.

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"See'ya Twi." Spike said as he walked twards the front door and opened it, but was stopped by Twilight.

"What? where do you thing your going?" Twilinght asked as she took her face out of her book and walked over to him.

"You know that me and Pinkie Pie alwas hang out on Friday nights." Spike said and Twilight just smiled as she watched him leave, but then she had to ask something.

"Is this fic done yet?"

Yeah, if you haven't figured it out already, this fic was filmed in Shitteo.

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"Hoo'de Twilight, what are you up to/" asked the voice on the other line with a southen accent.

Applejack's Canadian cousin apparently came to visit.

If you're wondering just what the fuck is going on, I don't blame ya. We're pretty much in the same boat.

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"Oh, hey Applejack, nothing much. Spike just left for the night to go hang with Pinkie Pie." Twilight said.

"You know, I wonder what they do on these night's?" Applejack said.

To which Spike answered earlier on as shitty exposition...

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"You know that me and Pinkie Pie alwas hang out on Friday nights."

Which I call bullshit on. He was obviously playing "Doctor" with Rarity last Friday.

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"Oh, Spiky. I'm so glade to see you." the pinkie pony said as she moved aside and let in him in. She began to bounce around him and said, " Oh, this going to be fun, much more then last time, and then time after thet, and then." She went on in that never ending loop[.

It seems the author is trying to keep Pinkie Pie in character, which is possibly the only decent thing about this story.

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"That's alright Pinkie. Now, shall we go down to your dungeon?" Spike said as he and Pinkie jouney to the basement of the bakerey. as the made it, the was the normal stuff like floor, sugar, and a lot of other things used to bake, but on the other side there was another door.

You use a floor for baking? I know you use a table, which is set on a floor, but the floor itself? I'm not sure floor-tiles are edible.

But behind that other door was A NEW CAR!

No, just BDSM equipment.



...wait...

And now, by demand, some porn.

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"There we go. Now." Spike said as he placed a ball gag in her mouth, and sacuded it. Then he place a dog collar around her neck and then placed a leash on it. He then used the leash to bring Pinkie to a wooden boared with hoofcuffs on all four corners. He then looked at her and asked, "My Pinkie Slave, are you ready?" she looked up to him and nodded as she got on her stomach. Spike smiled as he went over and then hoofcuffed her to the board with her face to the side. Spike smiled at the seane as he got a cat-of-nine tails form another chest and returned to Pinkie. He then looked up and then he used the whip and lashed at her back.

The calm before the storm...

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"Mmmmm." Pinkie Pie cryed out as she felt the whip make contact with her coat and then it hit again making her cry out again. She knew to someponies, it would look like Spike was hurting her, but she was enjoying it very much. After a few more lashes, her back was sore with some red lines. Spike smiled as he walked over to get the step lador that he used to hoofcuffe her, he then stepped up, and took off her ball gag. She gasped as streams of saliva started to run down her snort.

"Now, turn around and I'm going to make you scream." Spike said as he undid the cuffes, turned her around, and then he we cuffed her back up.

"Oh, please Master. Make me yours." Pinkie cryed as she watched Spike walk away and got in a crate. He then returned with two small vibraters and some tape. Then with a wicked smile, he taped one of them to lay just between her small teats and then slid the other one into her wet pussy.

"Now, let me hear you scream." Spike said as he used to controller of the vibraters and turned it on low and smiled as he watched her began to squirm.

"Ohhhh," Pinkie yeld as she felt the vibraters do there job and she loved the feeling.

"Hmmm, let's see what will happen at high?" Spike said as he turned it to high and smiled even more as Pinkie began to squirmed and screamed louder. He watched as she whaled and cry out in plesure, but just before she reached her climax, he stopped it and turn it off.

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"P-Please Master...I want it." Pinkie sadi again out of breath.

"I'm sorry, but what do you want?" Spike asked wanting a sertin answer from her before he'll let her climax.

"I-I want to cum like the nasty slut I am." Pinkie said in a pleadeding tone as saliva starte to run down her body.

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"Ohhh, Yes Master. THANK YOU." Pinkie scramed as she finaly reached her climax as she squirted out a lot of her juices in the bucket just below her. After two minutes of cumming, Pinkie was panting heavialy as Spike looked inside the bucket.

I don't know what kind of porn this author's dad has, but it's gotta be some fucked up shit.

And just our luck, Applejack decides to walk right on into a text-wall.

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Meanwhile, Applejack turned a corner and looked around to see if any one was still up. She a few lights on, but nothing to stop her. She then made it to her destinasion, The SugarCube Corner. She walk slowly to the door and saw a closed sign, but she dicided to try the door and it opened. "'Sigh.' It's a good thing Pinkie forgot to locket." Applejack said to her self as she entered the bakery. She looked around the enpty area and was about to go up stairs when a yell coming from the basement. "What in tarnazsion it that." Applejack said as she walked the tdoor and began to walk down to the basement. When she got there, all she saw was a bounch of baking sapplise and was about to go back up stairs when she heared a voice come from the room on the other side.

"Oh boy, this is going to be the best fan-fic ever! 'This is... a... story... that I had...'"

I wish AJ trotted in on the author just writing this. That way it'd have been so much easier to end this atrocity faster.

If only I was so fortunate.

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"Shhhhhh." Spike said as he leand towards her to whisper in her ear," I think we have a viater."

"A visater?" Pinkie said as she looked at what she could.

You can't even write the same typo, author! Automatic fail!

And it wraps up with a cliffhanger that I'm glad I don't care for.

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"Oh, that was close." Apple jack said as she hid.

"Yeah, Applejack." said a familiar voice.

"Oh, hoo'de Pinkie Pie." Applejack said and then her eyes widened as she turned to look at her pink maned friend smiling at her, and then said, "Pinkie Pie" and she took a few steps back, but then she heared another voice.

"Hello, Applejack." the voice came from behind her and she looked and saw that Spike was blocking her exit.

"Ah, Hay." Applejack said.

TBC

Leave The Burning Crusade out of this you incoherent little bastard!

I've never seen FiM, but the sheer illiteracy of this porn did make me cringe a little.

Oh, and, just by the way, TBC was the shit. Just so you know.

CookieCatCat wrote:

Oh, and, just by the way, TBC was the shit. Just so you know.

Yes. Yes it was. Burning Crusade is still my favorite expansion.

TheIan wrote:

I thought MLP:FiM badfic was impossible

...


...

TheIan wrote:

I thought MLP:FiM badfic was impossible

Given all the sexually repressed manchildren that gravitate towards the show, I'd say otherwise.

TheIan wrote:

I thought MLP:FiM badfic was impossible

Pffft hahahahaha.

It was just a matter of time.

Be glad you started with the badfic and not with the drawn porn. It seems the cutest shows attract the sickest fetishists (see: Pokémon and vore).

Pokemon and Sonic are pretty bad. You can blame the furries for such images.

I'd suggest going to Equestria Daily to enjoy some untainted material, but their forums can be a bit weird.

Edit: lolwut

Exodia's Right Leg wrote:

TheIan wrote:

I thought MLP:FiM badfic was impossible

Pffft hahahahaha.

It was just a matter of time.

Be glad you started with the badfic and not with the drawn porn. It seems the cutest shows attract the sickest fetishists (see: Pokémon and vore).

Pretty much this right here.

oh TheIan you are a fucking idiot

what kind of dope finds MLP porn-fic and then doesn't quote the gory details

no no you'd rather bray TEXTWALL and make a huge production out of how shocked you are by this fic's existence

But I don't WANT to read about Pinkie getting BSDM'd by Spike. :<

Cyberwulf wrote:

I don't like to say anything positive or contribute to the thread because making someone else on the board feel like shit is, for some reason, less work. You won't question me on this because I AM THE FUCKING KING OF WGW BITCHES!!!!

But I didn't vote for you.

... Writing sites should set up a writing test or something. Have the writers submit something they're written, let the mods reviews and decide whether they're literate enough or not. If they don't make the cut either ban them (unless the have a good reason, like dyslexia or English isn;t their first language) or give them a link to a 'Learn English' site.

TheIan wrote:

I thought MLP:FiM badfic was impossible

Rule 34

TheIan wrote:

Cyberwulf wrote:

I don't like to say anything positive or contribute to the thread because making someone else on the board feel like shit is, for some reason, less work. You won't question me on this because I AM THE FUCKING KING OF WGW BITCHES!!!!

But I didn't vote for you.

... WGW has royalty now?

TheIan wrote:

Cyberwulf wrote:

I don't like to say anything positive or contribute to the thread because making someone else on the board feel like shit is, for some reason, less work. You won't question me on this because I AM THE FUCKING KING OF WGW BITCHES!!!!

But I didn't vote for you.

I don't give a hoot about either side of this argument, but I have to say this new, feisty Ian amuses me to no end.

4shadowedice4 wrote:

(unless the have a good reason, like dyslexia or English isn;t their first language)

No. I'm not sure I agree with this idea in the first place, but if you're going to enforce standards, don't make excuses for people who could just get a beta.
I'm ESL, Goat is, TheUnoriginal is, Azzandra and Snake Bandage are, as are Shisaiga and kleine_kat and Salamas and Saleha and Jay... you get my point. Having English as a second language doesn't excuse gibberish.

Quote :

TheIan wrote:

I thought MLP:FiM badfic was impossible

Rule 34

He said badfic, not porn.

TheIan wrote:

Cyberwulf wrote:

I don't like to say anything positive or contribute to the thread because making someone else on the board feel like shit is, for some reason, less work. You won't question me on this because I AM THE FUCKING KING OF WGW BITCHES!!!!

But I didn't vote for you.

That isn't very loving and tolerant of you, TheIan. If I were you, I'd change that signature of yours, lest you look like a hypocrite.

4shadowedice4 wrote:

... Writing sites should set up a writing test or something. Have the writers submit something they're written, let the mods reviews and decide whether they're literate enough or not. If they don't make the cut either ban them (unless the have a good reason, like dyslexia or English isn;t their first language) or give them a link to a 'Learn English' site.

There are some fic communities that do operate on that premise, actually. Surprise surprise, most of them aren't updated very often. Or they were updated a lot when they started, but the mods ran out of steam to wade through the tidal waves of crap that came in. That happened to one of my favorite sites, the mods gave up and settled for compiling fandom 'classics.'

Cyberwulf wrote:

TheIan wrote:

Cyberwulf wrote:

I don't like to say anything positive or contribute to the thread because making someone else on the board feel like shit is, for some reason, less work. You won't question me on this because I AM THE FUCKING KING OF WGW BITCHES!!!!

But I didn't vote for you.

That isn't very loving and tolerant of you, TheIan. If I were you, I'd change that signature of yours, lest you look like a hypocrite.

How about, if you want me to be loving and tolerant, you stop being an over-bearing bitch? We're not here to appease to you.

Maybe you should both have sex with each other.

TheIan wrote:

Cyberwulf wrote:

TheIan wrote:

Cyberwulf wrote:

I don't like to say anything positive or contribute to the thread because making someone else on the board feel like shit is, for some reason, less work. You won't question me on this because I AM THE FUCKING KING OF WGW BITCHES!!!!

But I didn't vote for you.

That isn't very loving and tolerant of you, TheIan. If I were you, I'd change that signature of yours, lest you look like a hypocrite.

How about, if you want me to be loving and tolerant, you stop being an over-bearing bitch?

Now that's definitely not loving and tolerant.

...wait a minute, you do know that my initial comment was a riff on your signature, don't you? Oh, by the way, kings aren't elected. That's kind of the problem with monarchies.

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We're not here to appease to you.

And yet you want me to "appease" you by behaving the way you want. Tsk tsk, TheIan.

Howithurts, I don't fuck little boys. PS stop sending me your badly written WGW porn.

Someone has to read it.

TheIan wrote:

[youtube vid]

I have Flash turned off on my browser. Do I need to click to find out what it is, or do I need to click to confirm what it is?

Sutremaine wrote:

TheIan wrote:

[youtube vid]

I have Flash turned off on my browser. Do I need to click to find out what it is, or do I need to click to confirm what it is?

It's a Monty Python skit. Watching Monty Python never makes your life worse.

Cyberwulf wrote:

I don't fuck little boys. PS stop sending me your badly written WGW porn.

Post that shit. Preferably well-snarked.

rae wrote:

Cyberwulf wrote:

I don't fuck little boys. PS stop sending me your badly written WGW porn.

Post that shit. Preferably well-snarked.

(See, Howithurts suggested that TheIan and I just fuck, so the joke is that s/he writes WGW porn badly in hir spare time.)

(Although rest assured if such porn did exist I would be sure to snark it in the style of TheIan so as to mock him satirically.)