Man killed in police raid "stabbed himself while making a cup of tea"

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Smiley Culture - real name David Emmanuel - stabbed himself while making a cup of tea, his family were told.

Reminds me of that Blackadder episode, where two men were said to have: "he accidentally brutally stabbed himself in the stomach while shaving" and "accidentally brutally cut his head off while combing his hair"

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The singer died from a stab wound while in police custody during a raid at his home in Warlingham, Surrey on 15 March.

That's the British for you, we'll die for a cuppa! I mean, you could see it happening resisting arrest or something, but making a cup of tea? That must have been strong tea, hell, you'd call it Mr Tea. I had a rough cup of Ovaltine once, stole my wallet, and I got into a lot of trouble over milky Horlicks, but nothing like this.

I'm not familiar with the British ritual of making tea, but does it generally involve sharp knives that can fatally stab you?

What episode of 8-Bit Theater had Fighter "accidentally falling" onto Black Mage's knife 46 times?

Sadly I can see someone stabbing themselves in order to not go to jail.

Rabid Badger wrote:

I'm not familiar with the British ritual of making tea, but does it generally involve sharp knives that can fatally stab you?

The tea ritual of the infamous Scunthorpe Ninjas does. Some people claim they can see them hiding in Scunthorpe.

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"And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times."

Knorg wrote:

hell, you'd call it Mr Tea.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Rabid Badger wrote:

I'm not familiar with the British ritual of making tea, but does it generally involve sharp knives that can fatally stab you?

If you put the milk in first, you are honour-bound to commit hara-kiri.

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The IPCC said no fingerprints were found on the hilt of the knife embedded in his chest, but the singer's DNA was present.

...Was he also wearing gloves when he stabbed himself? Didn't want to risk getting fingerprints all over the good china I suppose, gotta make the best impression when the police come knocking.

I would second bleachedblackcat's comment, but if your goal is to avoid arrest and like, not die, why would you purposely stab yourself where the majority of your vital organs are?

Some people really are that stupid, and the police aren't supposed to carry knifes. Sadly, I find it hard to believe they did it and easier to believe the singer did it in a bid to escape police custody, and wound up killing himself.

Or maybe somebody did stab him.