Hipsters and Their Fucking Drama

So, a couple of mild internet celebs post on an Etsy blog about their "Depression-Era Hobo" wedding.

mousetrapvintage wrote:

As we began planning our wedding 15 months earlier, Brian and I knew we didn’t want to follow tradition. Neither of us is religious and our families are very fun, easygoing folks, so we immediately took the rule book and threw it out the window. Though some of the details fell into place quickly, the “Depression-era hobo” theme of our wedding didn’t come to us right away. In fact, it was my obsession with the 1930s, the “great recession,” our own limited budget and, finally, a suggestion from Brian’s grandma, Rose, that planted the tiny seed of the idea into our heads.

Helen Killer posts about her general disgust at turning poverty into a party theme on her very popular (and very witty) blog, Regretsy.

Helen Killer wrote:

Here’s the great thing about Etsy. As repellant as some of the shit is that I find there, there is always something worse.

Today I present one of the most insensitive features I’ve ever seen on the Etsy blog. And as usual, it’s celebrated in a circle jerk of obliviousness, complete with hipstermatic photos and dipshit Etsy drones yammering in approval.

Now, personally I thought HK's reaction was a bit overblown. I mean, claiming this is the most awful thing on etsy thus far? A little melodramatic, I thought. I could see where someone might be offended by the theme, but I was underwhelmed. Still, I am in no place to judge what is or is not offensive to the poor because I am not poor. At least, I did not think I was poor, until the shit hit the fan and the groom started a butthurt twittering storm:

boxbrown wrote:

@dustinharbin If they only knew that cartoonist is actually only a single notch above hobo in terms of yearly income.

Ok, so... it is OK to characterize the poor as long as you really are poor? I guess?
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?????

boxbrown wrote:

Ok last bit on this because I want to defend myself on one point: my wedding cost approximately $15,000 not $100,000. That was sarcasm.

Wait, what?

boxbrown wrote:

my wedding cost approximately $15,000

Uhhhhhhhhh...

boxbrown wrote:

The average cost of a wedding in the US is $27,000. I think we were pretty god damn frugal.

Ummmm... But that... uhh... what!? Seriously, what? On what planet is 15k for a party "frugal"??? $15,000 is a down payment on a house. Like, literally, that is how much I am putting down on the home I am buying. Spending that much on a wedding is completely unthinkable in my income bracket. I really did not think I was poor, but if someone "only a single notch above hobo in terms of yearly income" is that fucking rich I must be hobo-poor.

boxbrown wrote:

There were 150 guests and it was funded by little bits from our large family.

Oh hey, that sounds like my mom's wedding! Except that her wedding only ran about $700 TOTAL. Fucking asshole.

HK does a pretty good job highlighting the drama in her two subsequent member-only posts on her blog (password is cf4l).

What I find particularly funny about this whole mess is the number of minor celebrities involved. The bride was already popular on Etsy, and the groom is known for publishing a webcomic, and, more importantly, publishing indy comics on for realsies paper. He even rubs elbows with Jess Fink, authoress of the very well done erotic comic Chester 5000 XYV. In fact, here is a tweet he wrote to her!

boxbrown wrote:

@JessFink everything I've said in my defense is also wrong. you spent so much on the wedding! actually no we're actually poor. then get job!

Wow, he is really working that "poor" angle! (Also, Jess Fink is buddy-buddy with Kate Beaton, who we all know is such a flawless, glowing webcomic goddess that even being two steps removed from her is cause for internet-fame.)

Meanwhile, the groom's uncle was apparently in a band once. No one has ever heard of it, of course, but it did have some great tunes!

5 lb Thrill wrote:

Look at you, Diana
You have grown so beautiful
Put your homework down now
Come and sit here next to me

And I'll show you again we can play
I'll teach you some new words to say
I'll show you again we can play
Play with me, Diana

Here's a kiss, Diana
Have you seen it on TV?
It's just a ticklish feeling
in the place between your knees

Now I'll show you again we can play
I'll teach you some new words to say
I'll show you again we can play
Play with me Diana

Now I've done everything for you
Would you do something for me?
Or do you wanna hurt my feelings?
Do you wanna run away from me?

I'm amazed, Diana
you have come to be so smart
Keep a secret, darling,
Or you'll break your uncle's heart

HK is also a professional voice actress. This has nothing to do with any of this, but you may have fun imagining one of her characters reading her posts out loud.

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OK, OK, that is misleading. Technically she voiced his innocent coo-y baby voice, but it is still a good mental image. And I could not find non-porny picture of Peg Pete.

Only people who've lived solely in the upper-middle class and above would claim that $15,000 on a wedding is "frugal" with a straight face. That's really douche-y.

That said, I don't see a big deal with the theme since hobos since all that humorous hobo imagery originated during the Depression itself; if the people who lived through it could take a joke, there really isn't any reason for those of us without the experience to get offended on their behalf.

I found a non-porn picture, but you didn't notice.

Howithurts wrote:

I found a non-porn picture, but you didn't notice.

Sorry, I got distracted researching some of this bs.

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

Now, personally I thought HK's reaction was a bit overblown. I mean, claiming this is the most awful thing on etsy thus far? A little melodramatic, I thought.

Yeah, but that's what she does. I don't agree with everything that gets posted (such as, the entire regretsy community mocking people who think breastfeeding is important for your baby ), but that's what they do, and what makes them so successful.
And personally, more often than not, I think she's hilarious.

This Hobowank is still ongoing, though, because the other side is calling their e-lawyers or something (haven't been following closely, sorry). Which just makes me wonder, if someone calls your wedding stupid or offensive, you can either ignore it and tell yourself that those assclowns ~~don't even know you~~,
or you can start screaming and twittering and facebooking and getting anyone involved and make sure that your wedding and every anniversary of it will forever be associated with internet meanies and the entire family having an anyeurism.

Your choice.

Okay, I can understand going for a less traditional wedding if you're not religious. Honestly I think it's a little silly otherwise. And the theme might be a little tasteless, but...

...

$15K??

People complaining aren't even invited. It's their wedding, they can do what they want, rich people dress up to be like poor people all the time. You should see at the university I go to. Hipster = Pretending To Be Poor

Nihilist wrote:

People complaining aren't even invited. It's their wedding, they can do what they want, rich people dress up to be like poor people all the time. You should see at the university I go to. Hipster = Pretending To Be Poor

Classy is poor people pretending to be rich people pretending to be poor.

Penguin wrote:

That said, I don't see a big deal with the theme since hobos since all that humorous hobo imagery originated during the Depression itself; if the people who lived through it could take a joke, there really isn't any reason for those of us without the experience to get offended on their behalf.

Come to think of it, the only thing that comes to mind made in the last ten (maybe even twenty) years that even mentions hobos is Areas of My Expertise, which isn't exactly sympathetic.

My shock and dismay was mostly based on the idea that a $15,000 wedding is apparently considered 'frugal' in Hipster circles. I'll admit it's been a while, but my wedding probably cost less than $200 (my mom made my wedding dress and the bridesmaids dresses, she and her best friend did the decorating, my oldest sister's best friend since high school made the wedding cake for free, and our honeymoon consisted of a couple of nights out of town at a mid-priced hotel) and it lasted for nearly 28 years. So I'm always confused when I read in the magazines that you should allow at LEAST $10-15K for you wedding. If I ever get married again, I'll likely due it at the courthouse with my boys and their respective partners as witnesses, and we'll go to the buffett at Sirloin Stockade afterwards.

I didn't know the Sirloin Stockade still existed.

edit: Sakurelf, people are confusing. I'm kinda not understanding but I'll give it some thought.

Rabid Badger wrote:

My shock and dismay was mostly based on the idea that a $15,000 wedding is apparently considered 'frugal' in Hipster circles. I'll admit it's been a while, but my wedding probably cost less than $200 (my mom made my wedding dress and the bridesmaids dresses, she and her best friend did the decorating, my oldest sister's best friend since high school made the wedding cake for free, and our honeymoon consisted of a couple of nights out of town at a mid-priced hotel) and it lasted for nearly 28 years. So I'm always confused when I read in the magazines that you should allow at LEAST $10-15K for you wedding. If I ever get married again, I'll likely due it at the courthouse with my boys and their respective partners as witnesses, and we'll go to the buffett at Sirloin Stockade afterwards.

I've never understood this business about needing to spend a certain amount on a wedding, either. When my sister got married in 2003, she told my mom she could probably arrange her wedding to cost "only" $8,000 (at this time, my sister was operating under the illusion that a wedding had to be expensive). Mom told her that $1,000 was her limit, and anything else was going to be her expense. I told my sister that if she insisted I wear a $500 blue satin bridesmaid's dress that made me look like a whale, she was paying for it. The entire wedding wound up costing about $1500, and after watching all the fuss, I decided that I ever get married I am eloping.

Penguin wrote:

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What exactly does irony mean in this context? I keep hearing that word, but it doesn't seem to mean what it meant when I learned the term in literature class.

Lady Anne wrote:

Penguin wrote:

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What exactly does irony mean in this context? I keep hearing that word, but it doesn't seem to mean what it meant when I learned the term in literature class.

It's pretending to be rich people pretending to be poor and ignoring the cultural context of everything only to say "oh, this is deep and intellectual". Over here (which is like 20 years behind The World), there are rich suburbanite kids who sit there at the local coffee shop frequented by indie kids slamming bad poetry and hiding their vehicles in lieu of "poor" rides like $300 Schwinn bicycles.

It's also about being as skinny as possible through any means necessary and piercing your ears with ridiculous gauges and piercing your ears and getting tattoos. Now I like looking like a hipster dorkus but then, idk, I shop at thrift stores and am honest about it. I do like parts of it, just not people who pretend to be poor. It's irritating for people who really can't afford to do anything.

Hipsters appropriate cultures they don't care about and about organic farming and pretend to be poor when they're rich and really don't give a fuck besides how pretending to be poor gives them "sensitivity"

I want a masquerade ball as a wedding. Get a tent, everyone wears masks, and we marry and dance the night away. Yaaay dancing.

Wonder how much that would cost...

Prolly MUCH less than fucking 15k holy shit

Nihilist wrote:

"poor" rides like $300 Schwinn bicycles.

Gotta nip this one in the bud from personal experience: These days, if you spend anything less than a grand on a bicycle, you are buying a shoddy piece of shit that will get you killed if you ride on a busy rode at any point in your commute.

Jesus. wrote:

I want a masquerade ball as a wedding. Get a tent, everyone wears masks, and we marry and dance the night away. Yaaay dancing.

Wonder how much that would cost...

Prolly MUCH less than fucking 15k holy shit

See, I came from the land of homemade weddings. My dad was a minister, my mother could play the piano, and I can remember dad marrying couples in the living room of our house with two or three people from the church as witnesses. Church weddings tended to be simple affairs where the bride and bridesmaids dresses were homemade, and the reception consisted of wedding cake and punch at the house of one of the two sets of parents.

And Nih, I remember reading somewhere that the reason an actual definition of 'Hipster' is so hard to pin down is because they tend to go around picking and choosing what they consider the 'interesting' parts of other cultures, then co-opting them to their own ends. But yeah, most of them are not poor (no matter how much they want to try and convince you they are). I know the big thing with them now is vinyl records and record players. No CD's for them, by God! Considering what even a relatively simple record player costs, and the fact that a vinyl version of an existing CD can cost $3-4 more than a CD (and certain bands are starting to refuse to release their albums on anything BUT vinyl, because it's 'purer'), it'st still a case of hipper-than-thou. I imagine the next big thing for them will be 8-Tracks.

Jesus. wrote:

I want a masquerade ball as a wedding. Get a tent, everyone wears masks, and we marry and dance the night away. Yaaay dancing.

That sounds freaking awesome. How much it would cost is probably going to be depend on the food and the drinks. Open bars, while fun, are ludicrously expensive, and catering might be worth it, but it is also a significant cost. The cost of the food was why we did a tiny little service with just his brothers and some of our friends, just a half-step up from eloping. If you give your bridesmaids a lot of notice, they should be able to come up with something to wear that won't cost anyone an arm and a leg, especially since then all they have to match is the color scheme. If you make the masks yourself, it can be anywhere from $10 to $50, depending on what you decorate them with. If you have friends who are awesome at sewing, it can be cheaper to make the dress yourself, but it's still not going to be cheap. But if you get a fabric that can be relatively easily dyed (get this done professionally, omg), then you can reuse it. For our 'wedding,' the most expensive thing was four bottles of wine. I already had a dress I altered into a wedding dress, he already had a suit, we did the thing outside in a park, a friend did the ceremony, and since it was just a few people, food wasn't much of an issue. Total cost: $150.

I don't get how you could spend 15K on a wedding. What in the world costs that much? Are they spending thousands of dollars on food?

Penguin wrote:

Nihilist wrote:

"poor" rides like $300 Schwinn bicycles.

Gotta nip this one in the bud from personal experience: These days, if you spend anything less than a grand on a bicycle, you are buying a shoddy piece of shit that will get you killed if you ride on a busy rode at any point in your commute.

I believe you. But in my experience, I've never had an issue with anything under $80. My best bicycle was in the free section on Craigslist (then it needed to be maintained, and I couldn't fix it at the time, so I gave it away to someone who was able to fix it but that's another story).

Penguin wrote:

Nihilist wrote:

"poor" rides like $300 Schwinn bicycles.

Gotta nip this one in the bud from personal experience: These days, if you spend anything less than a grand on a bicycle, you are buying a shoddy piece of shit that will get you killed if you ride on a busy rode at any point in your commute.

That right there would be why I'd rather mow down pedestrians on the sidewalk with my $75 pawn shop bike

*loves second-hand clothes unironically, but is WAY too poor to be a hipster*

Howithurts wrote:

I don't get how you could spend 15K on a wedding. What in the world costs that much? Are they spending thousands of dollars on food?

It really depends on a number of things: venue, clothes (wouldn't be surprised if the hipster couple spent a shitload for "poor clothes"), food and drinks, entertainment and small things that add up quickly like invites, along with how many guests you have. More guests = more expenses to cover, especially if it's open bar, liquor gets expensive fast. My sister's planning her wedding and from what I gathered the dinner is going to be the most expensive thing simply due to the menu and wine.

Things add up quickly.

Salamas wrote:

Howithurts wrote:

I don't get how you could spend 15K on a wedding. What in the world costs that much? Are they spending thousands of dollars on food?

It really depends on a number of things: venue, clothes (wouldn't be surprised if the hipster couple spent a shitload for "poor clothes"), food and drinks, entertainment and small things that add up quickly like invites, along with how many guests you have. More guests = more expenses to cover, especially if it's open bar, liquor gets expensive fast. My sister's planning her wedding and from what I gathered the dinner is going to be the most expensive thing simply due to the menu and wine.

Things add up quickly.

This. Venue is probably the most costly, and even if they offer "all-inclusive" packages, it's still an assload of cash for site + food + cake + alcohol + DJ if you have a fairly large guest list, as my brother and his wife did. That wedding was roughly $15k mostly because of the sheer number of people involved (holy crap her family is big) and the bride really pushed for fancy, but honestly? They could have done it for far, far less.

I offered to pay them to elope. So did the bride's father. No dice, unfortunately.

What Sal said. My best friend's wedding was, ultimately, just venue and drink and food (in the grand scheme of things, the band was probably negligible), admittedly very upscale but nothing crazy like live tigers or flying in on a helicopter, and their wedding cost well, well into five figures.

Rabid Badger wrote:

And Nih, I remember reading somewhere that the reason an actual definition of 'Hipster' is so hard to pin down is because they tend to go around picking and choosing what they consider the 'interesting' parts of other cultures, then co-opting them to their own ends.

Lol, yeah. In some ways I am so fucking hipster, but in other ways the things hipsters do just piss me right off.

Of course, hipster is more of an insult than the name of an actual subculture now-a-days, so that is probably why the term has such a broad definition as well. Hipster=basically anything a wealthy, white person does that you dislike.