Killing Time

It’s been a while since I reviewed a fic for this place, so I decided to poke around on AFF.net (where all the best shit is) to find something good. While perusing the Star Trek section, the thought occurred to me: “Has anyone ever written a fic where Odo turns into a big, veiny cock?” Sadly I have not yet found an answer to that question, so in the meantime here’s some pointless, pointless porn.

Killing Time is a Deep Space Nine fanfic, and it’s one of those fics that fills in a gap in the established canon. Now these can sometimes give new insight into a character, or fanwank away a niggling plothole, or provide resolution to conflict. And other times they involve characters getting naked for literally no reason.

Quote :

Dax winked at the Major and drew the shirt up over her head, allowing her perky breasts to spring free in front of the entire bridge crew. All smiles, she swung the shirt over her head and tossed it to Sisko. She reveled in the attention as she stood back up and swung her hips around provocatively. Turning completely around she bent over and slid her shorts down, giving everyone a sensuous view of her ass. She rid herself of the shorts while keeping her boots on, and lounged back unashamedly in the helm chair.

Yeaaahhh. You can tell this is really going to add something to the source material, can’t you.

According to the Author’s Note, the crew are waiting around for some aliens to contact them and it’s a really big deal. So naturally the best way to pass the time is with a “Who’s got the biggest hooters competition”, because that just screams professionalism.

Quote :

Resigning herself to the bet, the Major tugged her undershirt out of her belt and pulled it over her head. Her light brown nipples hardened as they came in contact with the slightly cool air of the bridge.

Standing side by side the two women looked each other over and sized up their assets.

Kira loses, and has to give Captain Sisko a blowjob, which is totally appropriate because Porn Logic. Not content to stand around and watch, Dax decides to rape Kira without so much as a by-your-leave.

Quote :

Dax caressed the Major’s luscious behind and dipped a finger into Kira’s slit. Kira moaned onto Sisko’s cock, and increased her pace. Seeing how her ministrations were affecting Kira, Dax put two more fingers into her, working them faster and faster. Just when Kira though she couldn’t take any more of Dax’s fingers, she felt them leave her. Her disappointment was only momentary as Dax replaced her fingers with her tongue. Kira exploded in orgasm after orgasm as Dax devoured her. At the same time Sisko finally released into her mouth, adding to Kira’s pleasure.

Coming in a woman’s mouth = TOTALLY FUN AND PLEASURABLE FOR HER

But we’re not done with the hot hot loving yet, as Sisko decides to have his way with Dax, too.

Quote :

Sisko wasted no time and took Dax from behind, sinking his whole length into her in one mighty thrust. The Trill cried out in passion as she was impaled on his impressive manhood.

I know what you’re thinking, but no, quamp didn’t write this.

Mercifully the aliens contact them just as Sisko finishes up, and we close on the following tidbit of hilarity as Kira nearly exposes herself to the aliens:

Quote :

Kira looked over to see the whole bridge crew still staring at her breasts. She glanced over to Dax who was still naked. She smiled wryly.

“I guess I’ll put it on audio only…”

HAW HAW HAW

I THINK MY SIDES HAVE SPLIT

Quote :

The Trill cried out in passion as she was impaled on his impressive manhood.

Because of the word "Trill", I am imagining a Xena-esque ululation here.

SEXY

Poor Star Trek characters always end up getting the worst of it.

And I thought Enterprise fanfiction was bad.

You know, sex in fanfics is sometimes appropriate and can be quite interesting. Gratuitious plot-what-plot porn fucking is just silly.

And DS9 is my favourite Trek show. *sigh*

Why oh why are all men I bed unable to come five times in a row without even softening in between insane jizz-exposions?

Oh, wait.

Nature.

Darn.

Cyberwulf wrote:

According to the Author’s Note, the crew are waiting around for some aliens to contact them and it’s a really big deal. So naturally the best way to pass the time is with a “Who’s got the biggest hooters competition”

So Odo strolls in, sprouts a pair of triple-Gs, and says "I win. Now stop acting like Risans on Spring Break and get back to work."

Now that would have been in character!

Quote :

the thought occurred to me: “Has anyone ever written a fic where Odo turns into a big, veiny cock?”

I was legitimately terrified that someone had.

And thus it was cursed into existence.

Quote :

Standing side by side the two women looked each other over and sized up their assets.

Oh, its on.

Classic comparing of boobs whilst on duty moment, followed by an unlike, over the top and completely pointless sex scene. Things like this are what made me become a Niner in the first place.