I won't fight, because I might end up killing my enemy's unborn baby!

I was searching for porn, when I stumbled upon this gem filled with Pro-Lifer Robots. I was about to hit the back button when Shisaiga told me to snark it, so I blame her for this snark and for me losing a tiny bit of my brains in the process. Let me sacrifice this badfic to the gods of WGW.

Oh yeah and Jänis decided to tag along.

Some Will Seek Forgiveness, Others Respect
Jänis:The author is obviously talking about themself.

Quote :

The chairs were, more or less, pulled into a circle, each Autobot taking a seat. There was a low silence, no Autobot knowing exactly how to start the necessary conversation. Of course it was the twins who broke that silence, "So, why'd we pull out early?" Mudflap asked, looking towards the Prime for the answer.

Sorsa:Yeah this is actually like 4th chapter of this fic. Fortunately this author either doesn't keep his stuff in very good order.
Jänis:Now I wonder what could be so important that every Autobot has to hear it?

Quote :

Ratchet growled low and turned on Prime, "Will you just fragging tell them?!" After getting no response from the Prime, and being rewarded by a rather unnecessary processor ache, Ratchet turned on the other Autobots. "For frag's sake! Starscream's carrying!" The loud commotion quieted immediately, creating an eerie silence within the room.

Jänis:PRO-LIFER ROBOTS?!WHAAAAAT THE FUUUUUUCK?!
Sorsa:Aren't they kind of in war? Last time I checked it didn't matter how you offed a Decepticon.

Quote :

"Well, after I was shot with Starscream's null ray, I was able to focus on him and find something off about his energy signature. By honing in on that I found the seeker was carrying."

Sorsa:I don't understand what the fuck the author is trying to explain here.
Jänis:THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE A STUPID FINN!
Sorsa:So are you! TITS OR STFU!

Quote :

"So, if Starscream's carrying, do we who the creator is?"

Jänis:Guess who it is
Sorsa:There are only two options: Megatron or Optimus Prime. I think it's Optimus Prime.
Jänis:Wroooong, dummy! It's Megatron of course!

Quote :

"You shot Starscream down? Did you...terminate the sparkling?" Acree asked with a slight gasp, her servos tightening in her lap.

Jänis:Because all life is sacred, even if the said life might kill you in the future.
Sorsa:Yeah, this doesn't make any sense.

Quote :

Optimus let out another long sigh of hot air rush out his vents, "Why would Megatron want a sparkling around? That's what I'm wondering."

Sorsa:Quoted for truth.

Quote :

Ratchet shook his head, "If it were a sparkling Megatron didn't want, than it wouldn't have lasted this long. Megatron would have terminated it, or at least he wouldn't have been so protective of the seeker."

Jänis:Do I smell the sweet flower of OOCness?

Quote :

Immediately concerned, Megatron asked, "What is it?" Starscream looked at him, about to tell him, when it became unnecessary. The loud clang came again and Megatron's gaze moved from the seeker's optics, to his chassis. Starscream shifted his servo, and Megatron brought his gaze back up to the crimson optics. Shifting on the berth to sit closer to the F-22.

Sorsa:I knew Megatron and Starscream had a special relationship, but this is kind of too special.
Jänis:YEAH IT'S SO SPECIAL THAT IT MAKES THEM OOC!

Quote :

When Starscream entered the med bay, he was only slightly surprised to see Skywarp and Thundercracker there as well, doubtful for the same thing though. Thundercracker and Warp's sparkling still had almost an orn left until it would start moving. As short as that seemed, it was still significant in the process of sparkbrearing.

Jänis:Maybe it's catchy?
Sorsa:Well yeah, why all the Decepticons are suddenly pregnant?

Quote :

"The sparkling's spark split," Skywarp said happily, and for a moment that confused the Air Commander.

Jänis:I hope it splitted and died.
Sorsa:Sorry to crash your party, but it's twins.
Jänis: :unskilled78:

Quote :

Starscream let his arms fall to his side, wings twitching slightly in shock. "What?" he turned his attention to Thundercracker, "Twins?"

Jänis:I bet it was Skywarp who crashed into the Twin Towers.
Sorsa:That was uncalled!

Quote :

Hook laughed, "True, valid point. Anyway," he pointed to the berth beside the one Warp was still occupying. "Up." Starscream did as he was old, and once he was up, he was given another command, "Open." He did, sliding open his chest plates easily, allowing the medic access to the sparkling. "Yep, the protoform's all there, now he's just growing."

Sorsa:I made quite a rant about Transformers reproduction in the In Progress. I think this author needs to read it, because this is just THE GOOD OLD ROBO PREGGERS ALMOST LIKE HUMANS DO IT.
Jänis:Cut some slack to the author. Not everybody can be arsed to research their fandom like you have.

Quote :

Starscream nodded, bringing his lips to Megatron's for another kiss. "Mhm, protoform's done."
Sensing the seeker wanting to say something else, Megatron prompted, "And?"
That brought a large grin over Starscream's face plates, "It's a mech." This earned Starscream another kiss before his grin faded into a scowl.

Sorsa:There's a bloody text block of this DO NOT WANT!
Jänis:You can't call yourself a true TF-fan if you can't even take this much. Megatron/Starscream is probably the most popular pairing just after Megatron/Optimus Prime.

Quote :

There was a long moment of silence before it was broken by Prime, "If it works," he stated, "Do you think we should give the Decepticons some energon, or at least tell them how to make it?"
Ratchet blinked, "Why would we do that?"
Optimus sighed, "Because I can't let any mech spark a sparkling, only to have it starve."

Sorsa:You design and build a machine just to give your enemies the fair share of the energy it produces.
Jänis:THINK ABOUT THE BABIES! EVERY GOOD PRO-LIFER WOULD DO THE SAME!
Sorsa:*Kicks Jänis away*

Well, I think I'm joining Child Free. These preggers fics make nauseous. No kitties this time, I'm having too high fever for all the coding.

I've always had trouble with the idea of robots getting pregnant anyway (HELLO! THEY'RE GIANT ROBOTS, NOT HUMANS, AND MOST OF THEM ARE MALE!), but now they're not only getting pregnant, they're getting pregnant with twins AND they've all become Pro-Life. I just can't see a giant intelligent robot being Pro-Life. Of course, I can't see them getting pregnant, either, so there's your problem.

And now the circular logic has given me a headache.

Reading this while listing to really good music* is quite the trippy dissonance. It's like the pain and pleasure centers of my brain are fighting and the result is just "...Whut?"

* For the record: "Couldn't Stand The Weather (Live)" by Stevie Ray Vaughn.

Quote :

"You shot Starscream down? Did you...terminate the sparkling?" Acree asked with a slight gasp, her servos tightening in her lap.

Where I come from we call that "two for the price of one."

[quote="Penguin"]

Quote :

"You shot Starscream down? Did you...terminate the sparkling?" Acree asked with a slight gasp, her servos tightening in her lap.

How the hell does that happen without her reacting like one of the rag dolls in Gary's Mod stuck half way through a wall?

[quote="Mythandariel"]

Penguin wrote:

Quote :

"You shot Starscream down? Did you...terminate the sparkling?" Acree asked with a slight gasp, her servos tightening in her lap.

How the hell does that happen without her reacting like one of the rag dolls in Gary's Mod stuck half way through a wall?

Well I have no idea either, but considering all the other wtfery in this fic is this really surprising?

Not that it helps the basic premise, but I had a thought on this...

Quote :

Optimus let out another long sigh of hot air rush out his vents, "Why would Megatron want a sparkling around? That's what I'm wondering."

Admittedly, a good question for him, being enough into the mind of Megatron to know he wants it for some reason (or else it wouldn't exist). He seems to ignore the idea that Megatron might be doing the same thing, because...

Quote :

There was a long moment of silence before it was broken by Prime, "If it works," he stated, "Do you think we should give the Decepticons some energon, or at least tell them how to make it?"
Ratchet blinked, "Why would we do that?"
Optimus sighed, "Because I can't let any mech spark a sparkling, only to have it starve."

I mean, seems like if Megatron is more than willing to kill a child he doesn't have a use for, then he'd have just as much reason to use it as a hostage to gain access to food/weaponry. In fact, if Acree's response is typical, they seem likely to second-guess attacking a pregnant Decepticon as well... Obviously not the case here, but seems like a really simple change that adds another level (or more) of depth to the story.

ARGH! ARGH! ARGH!

Megatron/Starscream has its merits, but when Megs suddenly becomes all lovey over Starscream because he's carrying... man I hate that.

And I still don't get how ANYBODY found out, just through being shot at, that Starscream is preggers.

People are welcome to make the point that pro-life is good through pregnant robots, but wouldn't it be better to make it so that Megatron DIDN'T want the baby and was evil because he wanted to terminate a helpless foetus? Thus forcing Starscream to seek refuge with the good, Pro-Life Autobots?

Pregnant robots. Even when I consider it, it's STILL a concept I'm uncomfortable with.

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

Pregnant robots. Even when I consider it, it's STILL a concept I'm uncomfortable with.

May that never change.

Penguin wrote:

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

Pregnant robots. Even when I consider it, it's STILL a concept I'm uncomfortable with.

May that never change.

BEING pregnant is interesting. And labour is interesting. But then you've got a baby to rear and all that, and what the hell kinda story does THAT make? Once somebody's HAD the baby, on average how long does the fic last?

Responsibility is boring, apparently.

That's probably true. I mean, you see plenty of fics about sex and pregnancy and about the kids of canon characters, but how many do you see about those first few boring, daiper changing years?

So... if the Decepticons want to win the battle, all they have to do is all get pregnant and then charge the Autobots? And not one of them will fight back?

Seems like a win situation for them, then.

I give you credit for reading all of that though. I barely made it through the excerpts.

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

That's probably true. I mean, you see plenty of fics about sex and pregnancy and about the kids of canon characters, but how many do you see about those first few boring, daiper changing years?

Sadly, far too many. They usually involve MPregged main characters becoming stay-at-home daddies who make goo-goo eyes over the ass-babies while the world burns around them.

Heywood wrote:

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

That's probably true. I mean, you see plenty of fics about sex and pregnancy and about the kids of canon characters, but how many do you see about those first few boring, daiper changing years?

Sadly, far too many. They usually involve MPregged main characters becoming stay-at-home daddies who make goo-goo eyes over the ass-babies while the world burns around them.

So does mpreg eliminate risk of postpartum depression or is this just a vagpreg thing?

I don't know. It's sometimes hard to distinguish between generic angst and what would be the equivalent to PPD. They usually become whining or crying wrecks, though I don't think any of the mpregs I've seen have progressed to the level of infanticide from PPD.