Ace Attorney Mystery Fic

As you can see from my signature, I recently finished Turnabout Lockdown, an in-universe style Ace Attorney fanfic. Because I'm addicted to delicious attention in the form of reviews, I was thinking of writing another murder mystery with Phoenix Wright/Apollo Justice/Investigations characters. I want to get some feedback on the basic outline before I do anything.

- Two years after the events of Apollo Justice, Klavier Gavin is on tour for the first time as a solo artist. He's assassinated onstage in front of thousands of fans. The police arrest a clueless idiot right next to a high-powered rifle and a certain killer's calling card. And we're off.

- I kind of want to set the murder in Germany, because I really want Franziska von Karma as the prosecutor. I already had Edgeworth "drop by" to California in my last fic and I don't want to do that again. But that might bring up problems with where they'll have the trial.

- I was thinking that instead of proving the clueless idiot innocent by finding the real killer, Apollo could prove him innocent with rock-solid evidence that puts him somewhere else at the time of the murder, and the rest of the fic would be an Investigations-style whodunnit. Or is that too messy?

- If there's just one original character, does that mean readers will automatically suspect him/her as the killer?

- I was thinking of giving Franziska's unseen older sister a role on the investigation side of things. She's somewhat antagonistic towards Apollo and treats Franziska like a child. Does that sound Sueish?

Overall, what do you think? Any thoughts/feedback would be appreciated.

All of that sounds really promising, in my opinion (although ZOMG YOU'RE KILLING KLAVIER? DAYUM!).

I think the investigation-style idea is intriguing - while I really enjoyed the courtroom drama of "Turnabout Lockdown," something a little different would be just right in its wake. As long as you have everything planned out, I don't see why it should end up too messy.

As for your question whether people will suspect the only original character in the ensemble... I don't know what other people would do, but I have to admit that I most likely would, because even if you throw in any of the evil characters, I'd just suspect a red herring. I'd advise to have at least three or four OCs IF you want to make the OC the murderer. If not and the murderer is actually a canon character, disregard that though

Regarding Franziska's sister... she's a von Karma, aren't they all sort of stuck-up and condescending to a certain degree? As for her treating Frannie like a child... well, as someone having a younger sibling of my own, I'd say that this is rather normal!

If you need any help with facts about Germany, German expressions or maybe directly translated idioms to baffle Polly with, let me know and I'd be glad to lend a hand!

Saleha wrote:

As for your question whether people will suspect the only original character in the ensemble... I don't know what other people would do, but I have to admit that I most likely would, because even if you throw in any of the evil characters, I'd just suspect a red herring.

I was thinking that, but I wanted a second opinion.

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If you need any help with facts about Germany, German expressions or maybe directly translated idioms to baffle Polly with, let me know and I'd be glad to lend a hand!

I'm glad you replied because I want to run something by you. In the original Japanese games, Germany is actually America. So you know how "America" in Ace Attorney has a lot of Japanese cultural artefacts strewn about the place? I was thinking of just adding a little sprinkle of America-ness to Germany. Nothing really obvious like cowboy hats or anything but maybe a throwaway line about how well the local baseball team are doing - something like that. Do you think a fan would pick up on that or would they just think I'm an ignorant Yank who assumes the whole world is like Murrika?

Hm, that's a tricky one. The baseball one might indeed lead to people thinking you're an American who doesn't know better without explanation.

A suggestion would be to write about (American) football instead. The problem with that would be that European readers would understand that as soccer, which in turn wouldn't be very American. You would either have to specify or, say, find a way to describe the ball or the players' uniforms to distinguish between the two. Football DOES exist in Germany, though I don't think there is a major league yet. It'd be a subtle nod to the America -> Germany thing while carrying less of a hazard of being misunderstood.

Hmm. What if I work in something about how the most popular kids' show in Germany is some over-the-top cowboy thing?

Also: I kinda need some of the action to be near some dangerous coastal cliffs or near a really dangerous river. I know Germany only has a tiny bit of coastline. Would I be safer inventing a dangerous river than some dangerous coastal cliffs (IOW, which would be less likely to throw people out of the story)?

Cyberwulf wrote:

Hmm. What if I work in something about how the most popular kids' show in Germany is some over-the-top cowboy thing?

That'd be a workable idea, especially since Germany already had a cowboy-obsessed era in the 60's (when Karl May's Winnetou was made into movies) and it would be logical to come around again.

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Also: I kinda need some of the action to be near some dangerous coastal cliffs or near a really dangerous river. I know Germany only has a tiny bit of coastline. Would I be safer inventing a dangerous river than some dangerous coastal cliffs (IOW, which would be less likely to throw people out of the story)?

Actually, Germany doesn't have as little coast line as it might look like on a lot of maps - except for the border with Denmark, the entire northern end of the country is nothing but coast (I would estimate it to be somewhere between 600 and 800 km long). A possible spot to have dangerous cliffs at would be the island of Rügen in the Baltic Sea, which is known for its white chalk cliffs.

A river would likely end up being more unrealistic, as I cannot think of an area where you would have satisfactorily dangerous conditions (I can't think of major areas for whitewater rafting anywhere near civilization, for example).

I'll go with the cliffs then. An island would be nearly perfect.

'Nother question.

Say a secondary "good guy" canon character knew the truth all along but concealed it for [REASON], even during the initial trial when coming forward would mean that the clueless idiot suspect would be completely cleared. Would that strike you as character assassination/bashing?

God this is so vague, I'm sorry I don't want to blow the mystery.

Depends how good [REASON] is, I think.

Well, obviously the secondary character thinks it's a good enough reason and one of the main characters might agree with him/her when it's all over. I don't know yet. Some of this ties into the ending, which I'm really shaky on at the moment.

I'd say if [REASON] involved something like danger, either perceived or real, to said secondary canon character or someone else, they're definitely in the clear. Otherwise, what MP said.

Franziska's older sister will definitely be involved. I haven't figured out exactly what her job is, but she's been after the notorious assassin for years. I was thinking of giving her a gunslinger motif to keep with the Germerika theme - long coat, hat, works alone. And a big fuckoff bullwhip (which may or may not be mostly for show). She's taller than Franny too. Thoughts?

I like the gunslinger motif, but I'd almost go with another fuckoff weapon - in the von Karma family so far, we have a) a taser, b) a whip and c)...? Maybe a ginormous machete she waves around RIGHT IN YOUR FACE?

I don't really have anything against the whip idea, per se, it's just that I'm getting either female Indiana Jones or mixture of Franny and the Marshall brothers from the character I'm imagining right now.

The machete idea is tempting. She does have a gun, so I could break with family tradition and not give her something like a taser or whip. Or the gun itself could be something ludicrous. Or maybe she could slap people with a glove (or her ID/authorisation that gives her permission to do whatever the fuck she likes).

The glove slapping idea is ~*~AMAZING~*~. That's all I have to say I can just see people cringing the moment she starts pulling one of them off! Of course, that'd take a little while, but as she's a bit older than Fran, maybe she is a bit more... uh, staid? (AKA fair warning before slapping)

Question for German/Austrian/Swiss users - what's a good nickname/diminutive of Franziska? I'm considering having Big Sis annoy her with a pet name.

Question for everybody - obviously after the clueless idiot character is cleared, the rest of the cast have to look for whoever really hired the assassin. Klavier's a prosecutor so potentially anyone he's put away is a suspect but they have to start somewhere.

The first person they'd talk to is his psycho brother Kristoph and his former best friend Daryan. There were three other members of the Gavinners, but they're all in law enforcement. Is it unrealistic to discount them as suspects?

Phoenix might also become a suspect at some point in the fic. He's been a murder suspect at least three times prior to this, so would that be too predictable/beating a dead horse?

Cyberwulf wrote:

Question for German/Austrian/Swiss users - what's a good nickname/diminutive of Franziska? I'm considering having Big Sis annoy her with a pet name.

A friend of mine is called Franziska, her nickname is "Franzi" ( some areas favor "Fränzi" though, which sounds very similar to English "frenzy").

Will address the other parts later, it's minutes before my lunch break.

ETA, hours after the fact:

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The first person they'd talk to is his psycho brother Kristoph and his former best friend Daryan. There were three other members of the Gavinners, but they're all in law enforcement. Is it unrealistic to discount them as suspects?

On one hand, heck no, considering Daryan (who, after all, turned out a murderer despite being in law enforcement, to not even mention the murderous prosecutors), especially since we don't know the other Gavinners at all. On the other, Klav already has a murderous brother and former-best-friend, it'd be really unlucky if there was yet another person very close to him who was up to no good. Then again, Klavier does seem to be a rather hapless poor bastard when it comes to acquaintances at times.
Long story short: I don't see what would make another Gavinner unlikely to be a suspect, expect for statistical probability (and since the games don't exactly deal in probability, I'd say that's not an issue ).

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Phoenix might also become a suspect at some point in the fic. He's been a murder suspect at least three times prior to this, so would that be too predictable/beating a dead horse?

Oooff, for that one, my gut reaction is to say, "I'd only use him as a suspect if you follow through on it," because that would be genuinely surprising. If you want to suspect him without making him the culprit, either make sure to use heavily incriminating evidence (and I mean more heavily than in 4-1, which was mostly conjecture) or discount it quickly. Everything else would likely result in beating that dead horse.

Only checked back for the rest of your answers now, Sal - sorry

Saleha wrote:

If you want to suspect him without making him the culprit, either make sure to use heavily incriminating evidence (and I mean more heavily than in 4-1, which was mostly conjecture) or discount it quickly. Everything else would likely result in beating that dead horse.

I was thinking that the cops haul Phoenix in because it turns out Klavier left him quite a large sum of money in his will, and that combined with wanting revenge on Klavier for what happened seven/eight years ago is his motive. I would kinda like Phoenix as a suspect, because I don't think Apollo and Klavier have a close enough relationship for Apollo to investigate the murder once his own client is cleared of suspicion. But if Phoenix got arrested and it looked like he was going to be in serious trouble, that's a motivation for Apollo to start poking around again.

Following a discussion in the chatbox, I've tentatively settled on the name "Griselda" for Franziska's older sister. Wikipedia says it can mean "dark battle", "stone", or "grey maiden warrior" all of which fit her character and role as antagonist. It also (at least to me) brings to mind the Ugly Sisters from Cinderella, and given that she treats Franziska like a child, gets on her nerves, gloveslaps people who annoy her...yeah.

Any thoughts?

Question for German posters: is there a German equivalent to 'Gumshoe'? By which I mean a slang term for a detective or police officer, that isn't as common as 'cop' or as crude as 'pig'. Something that would pass as a name in the Ace Attorney-verse.