It's true - everything in Australia wants to kill you

Story found here

Quote :

A BLACK Saturday survivor got more than he bargained for when he emerged from his caravan at Flowerdale to be attacked by a wombat.

Bruce Kringle, 60, stepped outside his temporary accommodation just before 7am and was attacked by the wombat, which clawed and bit at his leg and brought him to the ground.

The wombat jumped onto Mr Kringle's chest to continue the mauling, but he was able to reach for an axe and deliver a fatal blow to the marauding marsupial.

Kelly Smith, who works at the Flowerdale Hotel, said the wombat had emerged from under Mr Kringle's caravan before attacking him.

"Bruce managed to find an axe and killed it,'' Ms Smith told AAP. "It's bizarre what happened. He's okay but the wombat mauled his leg, got him to the ground and then started clawing at his chest.''

She said Mr Kringle was living in the caravan on his block of land until his house is built.

Paramedics arrived at Mr Kringle's property and dressed his wounds before transferring him to the Northern Hospital where is in a stable condition.

This is highly unusual because wombats are normally quite docile. It's suspected it had mange and was highly irritable and defensive - just an hour earlier it was headbutting a neighboring house's doorway. Still, this definitely proves that, yes, everything in Australia wants to kill you.

That's why the native language of Australia is screaming.

I used to want to go to Australia when I was younger because I have this life-long fascination with marsupials, but now I'm going to live in fear of ever setting foot inside the country, lest I be savaged by a rabid wombat.

*snerk*

Killer wombats are funny, until the mawl your leg.

I like that they put a picture of the second cutest wombat ever at the top of the article.

(this is the cutest)
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I KNEW IT! (Lives in fear more)

ZoZo wrote:

I like that they put a picture of the second cutest wombat ever at the top of the article.

(this is the cutest)
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Can't you see the hellfire burning in it's tiny black eyes? Don't you realize it wants to eat your soul?!

Seems somewhat appropriate - From the Scared Weird Little Guys

Redback, Funnel-Web, Blue-ringed octopus
Taipan, Tigersnake and a Box jellyfish
Stonefish and the poison thing that lives in a shell
That spikes you when you pick it up

Come to Australia
You might accidentally get killed

Your life's constantly under threat
Have you been bitten yet?
You've only got three minutes left
Before a massive coronary breakdown

Redback, Funnel-Web, Blue-ringed octopus
Tiapan, Tigersnake and a Box jellyfish
Big shark just waiting for you to go swimming
At Bondi Beach

Come to Australia
You might accidentally get killed
Your blood is bound to be spilled
With fear your pants will be filled
Because you might accidentally get killed

theromangeneral wrote:

Seems somewhat appropriate - From the Scared Weird Little Guys

Redback, Funnel-Web, Blue-ringed octopus
Taipan, Tigersnake and a Box jellyfish
Stonefish and the poison thing that lives in a shell
That spikes you when you pick it up

Come to Australia
You might accidentally get killed

Your life's constantly under threat
Have you been bitten yet?
You've only got three minutes left
Before a massive coronary breakdown

Redback, Funnel-Web, Blue-ringed octopus
Tiapan, Tigersnake and a Box jellyfish
Big shark just waiting for you to go swimming
At Bondi Beach

Come to Australia
You might accidentally get killed
Your blood is bound to be spilled
With fear your pants will be filled
Because you might accidentally get killed

Linky!

Rabid Badger wrote:

Can't you see the hellfire burning in it's tiny black eyes? Don't you realize it wants to eat your soul?!

The adorable little monster is probably going picking poisonous berries to kill a nursery.

ZoZo wrote:

I like that they put a picture of the second cutest wombat ever at the top of the article.

(this is the cutest)
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Can't you see the hellfire burning in it's tiny black eyes? Don't you realize it wants to eat your soul?!

It's also a possum.

Not that that means it doesn't want to eat your soul, but yeah possums are a whole other variety of evil... because they drive you insane and then kill you, whereas a wombat will just go for your throat...

Raine wrote:

This is highly unusual because wombats are normally quite docile.

Say what? Wombats are small furry homicidal footstools. If you're ever in Australia and you hear a sound like HurrumpHurrumpHurrumpHurrump coming at you at knee level, climb the nearest tree.

Seriously.

JadeAngel wrote:

Raine wrote:

This is highly unusual because wombats are normally quite docile.

Say what? Wombats are small furry homicidal footstools. If you're ever in Australia and you hear a sound like HurrumpHurrumpHurrumpHurrump coming at you at knee level, climb the nearest tree.

Seriously.

Well yes, they can be terrible little beasts from hell if the situation is right, but most other times they act indifferent to a human being near them and go on their merry way.

Deep in their hearts, they all remember Tunnel 17.

Sutremaine wrote:

Deep in their hearts, they all remember Tunnel 17.

All hail Digger-of-Unnecessarily-Convoluted-Tunnels!

Is it any wonder that Australia is training for the robot uprising?

Raine wrote:

JadeAngel wrote:

Raine wrote:

This is highly unusual because wombats are normally quite docile.

Say what? Wombats are small furry homicidal footstools. If you're ever in Australia and you hear a sound like HurrumpHurrumpHurrumpHurrump coming at you at knee level, climb the nearest tree.

Seriously.

Well yes, they can be terrible little beasts from hell if the situation is right, but most other times they act indifferent to a human being near them and go on their merry way.

This doesn't make them safer. If you're standing in a wombat's way, it won't walk around you, it'll walk _over_ you.

Quote :

Kelly Smith, who works at the Flowerdale Hotel, said the
wombat had emerged from under Mr Kringle's caravan before attacking
him."Bruce managed to find an axe and killed it,'' Ms Smith told
AAP.

What Mr. Kringle may look like:
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I know I'm about to open myself up to accusations of necroposting, but I was thinking of this thread just now and it inspired me to create this poster:

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