Jilted boyfriend brings teenage wangst to a whole 'nother level

...and throwing it down a well.

Quote :

Devastated by the news that his girlfriend was going to marry another man, a teenager from a village in Central Java cut off his own penis in a fit of despair.

...

Dude...

Umm, fapping? Did you forget about that?

Also I'm sure there's plenty of other girls out there...

Quote :

Any hopes of reattaching the severed member were dashed after the 19-year-old threw the appendage into a well and it could not be found by residents of Bantasari village.

Man I bet that's not gonna do the well-water any good. Thanks, idiot, you just poisoned the water for everyone else by sticking your dick in it. THAT'S LIKE PUTTING YOUR DICK IN EVERYONE'S MOUTH EVERY TIME THEY TAKE A DRINK.

Quote :

Sugeng Budi Susanto, director of Cilacap General Hospital, said on Monday that it was extremely fortunate that medical personnel were able to save the life of the teenager, who was identified only by the initials AMD.

Awesomely Mighty Dumb?

Quote :

He arrived at the hospital last Thursday in critical condition from blood loss, Sugeng said. “It was a critical time,” he said. “Cutting off a penis can be fatal.”

...

Though family members declined to comment, a source confirmed that AMD had cut of his penis after he discovered his girlfriend intended to marry another man.

“The sliced-off penis has not been found,” the source said. “Allegedly, AMD threw it into the well with the intention of committing suicide because he thought nobody would be able to save his life.”

Sugeng said the teenager had still not spoken to anyone about the incident. “He’s still too shocked and embarrassed to talk to or see anyone.”

Yeah, no shit he's embarrassed. That's like, the stupidest, most embarrassing method of suicide ever. Well, I suppose that being discovered naked and strangled with a rope around your neck and your dick in your hand (and maybe a dildo up the ass, too, for good measure) is just about as bad.

Guess I'll give the kid a point for morbid creativity. Still, I bet he's REALLY missing that penis right about now. Ahhh, the follies of melodramatic youth, how it swells turgidly and then withers and rots away, like a chopped-off dick in a well...

Good luck getting another girlfriend now.

I got nothing.

so...

...is he gonna eat that or can i have it

Dude that guy in Germany already did that.
There's even a song about it.

I bet he's crying about it right now over at Love Shy. "BAWWW SHE MADE ME CHOP OFF MY DICK EVIL FEMALE"

His nickname shall forever be 'Stumpy'.

Raine wrote:

His nickname shall forever be 'Stumpy'.

He doesn't even have that.

This is what he's got;

Spoiler:

It looks like a prolapsed vagina.

thats just a micropenis with a foreskin

fail on ur part

Well, I think his only option for sex now is to turn gay and always be on the taking end.

SirDixonDongs wrote:

thats just a micropenis with a foreskin

fail on ur part

I'm perfectly aware of that.


Still looks like a prolapsed vagina.

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

Well, I think his only option for sex now is to turn gay and always be on the taking end.

...You'd best be trollan. Otherwise that was AMAZINGLY stupid.

Malganis wrote:

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

Well, I think his only option for sex now is to turn gay and always be on the taking end.

...You'd best be trollan. Otherwise that was AMAZINGLY stupid.

Look who you quoted.

there is always, always peggin'

SirDixonDongs wrote:

thats just a micropenis with a foreskin

fail on ur part

No, that's what penectomy looks like.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

So shut your face.

Darwin awards? Anyone? Beuller? Beuller?

Penguin wrote:

Malganis wrote:

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

Well, I think his only option for sex now is to turn gay and always be on the taking end.

...You'd best be trollan. Otherwise that was AMAZINGLY stupid.

Look who you quoted.

It was amazingly stupid, even for Harley?

gaijinguy wrote:

Darwin awards? Anyone? Beuller? Beuller?

Well, he failed in killing himself, so, not quite a Darwin award. He did succeed in virtually destroying his sex life, so I'm not sure what sort of award that would qualify for.

Malganis[quote="gaijinguy wrote:

Darwin awards? Anyone? Beuller? Beuller?

Well, he failed in killing himself, so, not quite a Darwin award. He did succeed in virtually destroying his sex life, so I'm not sure what sort of award that would qualify for.[/quote]I think what he's done is remove himself from the gene pool, so he qualifies. They give them out for any way that stops your successful reproduction.

hey he still has testes, he can still reproduce methinks

SirDixonDongs wrote:

hey he still has testes, he can still reproduce methinks

Yeah he can still ejaculate. I remember reading this blog from a dude who cut off his own dick and he posted a picture of jizz coming out of the hole where his dick used to be.

hehe

"wang"st

Malganis wrote:

Quote :

Any hopes of reattaching the severed member were dashed after the 19-year-old threw the appendage into a well and it could not be found by residents of Bantasari village.

Man I bet that's not gonna do the well-water any good. Thanks, idiot, you just poisoned the water for everyone else by sticking your dick in it. THAT'S LIKE PUTTING YOUR DICK IN EVERYONE'S MOUTH EVERY TIME THEY TAKE A DRINK.

Do people still drink out of wells? I thought villages had indoor plumbing these days. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

vicarious blowjobs for all!

Penguin wrote:

Malganis wrote:

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

Well, I think his only option for sex now is to turn gay and always be on the taking end.

...You'd best be trollan. Otherwise that was AMAZINGLY stupid.

Look who you quoted.

Yeah, I was in the middle of typing up a reply when I looked again, and noticed it was a post by Harley.