South Park/Harry Potter crossover.

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you a short badfic aptly titled 'this is messed up'. It's a tale of the South Park kids learning that they are really wizards. The premise, while bizarre, could have worked well as a spoof, unfortunately this fic far from reaches the grade. So far there is only two chapters up, but I'll give you a short excerpt so that you may judge the quality of writing for yourself:

Quote :

i walked out of the house. i started to walk next door.

i rang the door bell. i heard steps. "hello." kyle said as he opened the door.
"Hi kyle. i jut had the weirdest moment in my life. my dad and mom said i was a wizard." i said to kyle.
"my mom and dad told me that to." kyle said.
" my dad also sad craig, butters, clyde, eric, and kenny. were wizards to." i told kyle.

Chapter two features spelling mistakes as well. This girl seriously needs a patient beta-reader.

Quote :

i walk to my dad and mom. "are you ready?" my dad asked

" i think so." i said sadly. i heard a loud crack and we were at hogwarts.

A crack caused by what exactly? I'd be a bit worried if the Hogwarts Express cracked, or if the floo network cracked. Since neither does I'll assume that the characters just bamfed into Hogwarts.

Quote :

i looked around and said "this is the place" i said wowed. the place was huge. i heard another loud crack and craig hes parents were here.

I think you mean 'his parents'.

Quote :

"remember to write to us." hes mom said and they disapered.

'disapered'... like, as opposed to disappeared?

Yes, this really IS a monument to bad writing.

Quote :

this is a crossover of south park and harry potter. i just thought of this when i was on the trampoline.

There's a line I never thought I'd see.

Quote :

i don't own anything

Worst. Disclaimer. Ever.

I don't know. It's too meh to be a trollfic, but it's too bad to be taken seriously.

Quote :

this is a crossover of south park and harry potter.

This one line tells you so much about this fic as well as the author.

For example...

1) This fic will try to be funny, but will only succeed in being everything but
2) This author is probably no older than 13
3) This author lacks the attention span to finish this fic. My bet is it lasts no more than 2-3 chapters.

Quote :

"you got to be joking. there is no such thing as a wizard." i said to my dad and mom.

But there definately is such a thing as...

- singing and dancing turds
- cows that talk to aliens
- a giant sasquatch with Patrick Duffy for a leg
- a friend that's died about 100+ times only to come back to life inexplicably

Just sayin', being a wizard would probably be one of the most believable things to happen to Stan.

Quote :

i looked suprised. How could i be a wizard.

"you and your friends are wizards." randy said.
"which ones?" i asked
"Craig', Kyle, Kenny, Eric, Clyde, and Butters." randy listed off.
"Do they know that they are wizards to?" i asked
"there parents have informed them yesterday" randy said.
"i am going to go over to Kyles house." i said
"Ok Stan." randy said.
i walked out of the house. i started to walk next door.
i rang the door bell. i heard steps. "hello." kyle said as he opened the door.
"Hi kyle. i jut had the weirdest moment in my life. my dad and mom said i was a wizard." i said to kyle.
"my mom and dad told me that to." kyle said.
" my dad also sad craig, butters, clyde, eric, and kenny. were wizards to." i told kyle.
"lets go see craig." i told kyle.

Most. Boring. South Park episode. Ever.

Quote :

we walked to craigs house and rang the door bell. craig opened the door. "hi guys." i said

I don't remember a "Craig" in South Park. But than, I don't watch the show as religiously as most 13 year olds probably do. Who's this Craig person?

GAAAAAH. I tried. I really tried to snark this thing! But I just can't! It's so... boring. Nothing happens! It's like South Park: A Day in the Life, as told by Ben Stein.

Have you read some of her other fics?

snape/hermione rapefic wrote:

"w ... well i was." "AND WHY DID I HERE MOANS AND GROANS." Snape boomed.

"Well show me what you were doing." snape demanded.
"what?" hermione asked.
"you heard me." snape replyed.
"but sir." "NO BUTS." Snape said as he raised his voice.
"take it off." snape said.
"o ... ok." hermione said nervously.
she pulled down her skirt revealing her white panties.
"Well i'm waiting." snape said has he smiled.

Quote :

i started to rub the fabric on my panties.

i look at snape. he was jerking off. i blush. why did i this have to be me.
he walk over to me and toke my hand and put it on his boner.
"start moving." he said.
i started to jerk him off. i felt him get hard.
he undid my bra.
"stop." he said.

Quote :

i bent down and toke him in my mouth. he moaned as i sucked him.

he started to thrust in my mouths so i started to jerk him off again.
he turned my around. bent me down on his desk. than stuck his dick in my ass.
"oh oh oooooh god!" i moan.
"yeah take it bitch. you dirty whore." he said.
"what are you?" he asked.
"i'm a naughty girl snape." i said.
"Yes you are a naughty girl." he moan. he than started to thrust harder into my ass.
thats when he came.
"oooooohhhhh." he moaned.

She even makes statutory rape sound like one of the most boring things that could ever happen to you!

Quote :

i felt his cum splat inside of me.

"oh that was great. 20 points to griffendor.

... Quite.

Mr.Doobie wrote:

She even makes statutory rape sound like one of the most boring things that could ever happen to you!

It's Tuxedo Mark's little sister! Run!

I was going to ask if her Shift key was broken, but she has capitalization on names and capslock shouting, just not on 'I' or the start of sentences. As I always say, haven't these fanbrats ever read a book? A TV guide? A freaking signpost?

Keith Fraser wrote:

Mr.Doobie wrote:

She even makes statutory rape sound like one of the most boring things that could ever happen to you!

It's Tuxedo Mark's little sister! Run!

I'm fairly sure that's one of the signs of the Coming Apocalypse.

If you hear hoof beats on the horizon, you might want to head for cover...

This could've been potentially awesome. Somebody could write something about Cartman getting into Slytherin and whining about now knowing parseltongue or not being super special like Harry Potter. He would also try to rival Malfoy as the asshole in the show. Just saying. *shrug*

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Quote :

we walked to craigs house and rang the door bell. craig opened the door. "hi guys." i said

I don't remember a "Craig" in South Park. But than, I don't watch the show as religiously as most 13 year olds probably do. Who's this Craig person?

Craig is the guy in blue with a yellow poofball on top of his hat. He gives everybody the finger and hates the main characters in South Park.

theweirdkind wrote:

This could've been potentially awesome. Somebody could write something about Cartman getting into Slytherin and whining about now knowing parseltongue or not being super special like Harry Potter. He would also try to rival Malfoy as the asshole in the show. Just saying. *shrug*

Mr.Doobie wrote:

Quote :

we walked to craigs house and rang the door bell. craig opened the door. "hi guys." i said

I don't remember a "Craig" in South Park. But than, I don't watch the show as religiously as most 13 year olds probably do. Who's this Craig person?

Craig is the guy in blue with a yellow poofball on top of his hat. He gives everybody the finger and hates the main characters in South Park.

He also figures prominently in the Cloverfield parody episodes.