What Drives Edward Cullen

There is no God.

Narwhal wrote:

There is no God.

After seeing that commercial for the first time earlier this evening, I would have to agree.

Volvo: HAVING A CREEPY STALKER SUEBAIT SPARKLEPIRE DRIVE YOUR CAR DOES *NOT* MAKE YOU COOL WITH THE KIDS!

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... I feel slightly better now. Probably until I see that... thing again.

FFFFFFF

I... I...

Really?

Honestly, I'm flabbergasted. What do sparkly vampires have to do with cars?

Furthermore, why was he driving the car around in the middle of the day and not sparkling?

Budget cuts.

That's a really stupid idea for a commercial, because most people who are old enough to drive or afford a new car are also intelligent/mature enough to know that the romance of Twilight is the caustic, destructive romance of Ted Bundy.
Also, some of the captions make no sense

that commercial wrote:

There is a certain kind of understated beauty

The beauty of EC is beat into the readers head every other page (partially because S.Meyer is writing for an audience that needs it beat in constantly otherwise they forget and go wonder off to play in traffic.

that commercial wrote:

There's the power to stand up for what you believe in

Seducing something about 1/30th your age, which could basically be compared to a legless plate of baby-back-ribs is a powerful statement, yo.

unskilled78 wrote:

That's a really stupid idea for a commercial, because most people who are old enough to drive or afford a new car are also intelligent/mature enough to know that the romance of Twilight is the caustic, destructive romance of Ted Bundy.

I would like to disagree with this statement. Though the larger part of the fandom are teenage girls, most of them can still drive at the age of sixteen. Also, I have met plenty of people older than me that are obsessed with Twilight.

It's that elusive TwiMoms demographic.

This commercial made me laugh so hard. I totally love Edward now since I went as him for Halloween. He is just perfect narm.


I was so sparkly and my hair was so ridiculous. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Good times.

Oh Volvo, no. Just no. Bad Volvo, bad.

When I first saw this I honestly thought this was fake. Now, I wish it was. That's a minute and fifty seconds I'll never get back.

Narwhal wrote:

Narwhal's post

:hell:

WHY DOES GOD LET THESE THINGS HAPPEN!?

Quote :

What Drives Edward Cullen

Sexual repression. Which is exactly what Volvo sells, coincidentally.

... Volvo, I hereby disown you. If the people who commissioned this commercial ever step foot in Sweden again, I am getting my crossbow and taking pot shots at them. Seriously.

This was actually painfully embarrassing to watch.

frostflowers wrote:

... Volvo, I hereby disown you. If the people who commissioned this commercial ever step foot in Sweden again, I am getting my crossbow and taking pot shots at them. Seriously.

This was actually painfully embarrassing to watch.

No, No, No, Frostflowers, you drop a Ford Focus (which is the platform the C30's based on) on them from a great height, in the style of Kenny Everett's parodies of the British Volkswagen Golf ad's of the early 1980's...

Grimley Fieendish wrote:

frostflowers wrote:

... Volvo, I hereby disown you. If the people who commissioned this commercial ever step foot in Sweden again, I am getting my crossbow and taking pot shots at them. Seriously.

This was actually painfully embarrassing to watch.

No, No, No, Frostflowers, you drop a Ford Focus (which is the platform the C30's based on) on them from a great height, in the style of Kenny Everett's parodies of the British Volkswagen Golf ad's of the early 1980's...

Ah, then I obviously need to steal Top Gear's Volvo catapult to accomplish this evil plan.

...and once again I marvel that a Volvo is supposedly a "cool" car.

I am sure they are perfectly fine cars, and if I would have to buy a car on a budget I'd consider buying one, but if you have tons of money to spend? Yeah, no.

Can someone please explain SM's Volvo obssession to me? Or is that an American thing?

I'm an American and I tend to forget Volvo exists. People with money buy Bentleys, BMW S-Class, vintage muscle cars, etc. Not Volvos.

Okay, my friend is a Twihard. I mean total Twihard, though I am bringing her around to the realization that the relationship is unhealthy. And she says the commercial is fucking stupid.

You hear that Volvo? A Twihard thinks your Twilight commercial was stupid. Do you know what level of stupid that puts you at? Remember those idiots who tried to rob a store with Sharpie "masks"? You're below them.

The sad thing is Volvo makes really good cars.

Chocho wrote:

Can someone please explain SM's Volvo obssession to me? Or is that an American thing?

She's an embarrassingly sheltered Mormon housewife whose exposure to the real world has been minimal at best. In her bizarre view, Volvos are sexy cars, beige is a sexy color, and pathetic dreams about sparkly vampires that represent her deep-seated sexual repression are not only worth committing to paper but are, in her mind, comparable in quality to novels by the Brontë sisters.

I think it's safe to say her perspective is just a little skewed.

Yep. In the real world, Volvos are just good, reliable, comfortable, safe, and utterly boring cars. Soooo they might be exciting to really boring people, or if you really like not having to worry about your car rusting out on you before your odometer hits the 1,000,000 mile mark.

The funny thing about that is that all of that is pretty much the complete opposite of fun/sexy/dangerous, which is the ill-advised territory her books try to explore. You just can't take a vampire (OOH DANGEROUS) love interest (how kinky!) and then put him in a fucking Volvo. It's like having James Bond drive a 1969 Super Bug. Or Genghis Khan in a Prius.

I don't know. If I had a choice between Cullen and a Volvo, I know which one I'd take home to meet the folks.

So, it's SM being nuts. I can live with that.

Quote :

The funny thing about that is that all of that is pretty much the
complete opposite of fun/sexy/dangerous, which is the ill-advised
territory her books try to explore. You just can't take a vampire (OOH
DANGEROUS) love interest (how kinky!) and then put him in a fucking
Volvo. It's like having James Bond drive a 1969 Super Bug. Or Genghis
Khan in a Prius.

I actually think it makes perfect sense. She takes the vampire, removes all the "qualities" that make him so dangerous and interesting, et voilà, you have Edward Cullen. It's like removing the claws and teeth of a tiger and then rejoicing that you tamed the beast. She may call it a vampire but it's actually a sparkly Ken doll, with a safe car and a safe family and a safe hobby. It's pretty much the antithesis of what a vampire is supposed to be.

I mean, come on. These sparkly dorks plan on spending eternity attending high school over and over and doing "fun family activities" like playing vampire baseball and Milton Bradely games on wednesdays or something. I'd rather have died and gone to hell.

Chocho wrote:

...and once again I marvel that a Volvo is supposedly a "cool" car.

In what dorky corner of the planet would this be? I've never heard such a thing.

Penguin wrote:

The sad thing is Volvo makes really good cars.

Actually, a study has shown that despite the urban legend that Volvos are OMG SO SAFE, they are no safer or higher quality than any other car.

grmblfjx wrote:

Chocho wrote:

...and once again I marvel that a Volvo is supposedly a "cool" car.

In what dorky corner of the planet would this be? I've never heard such a thing.

I never did either, but judging how SM was going on and on how her car-lovin' brothers helped her choose cars and what not, I assumed it was a cultural thing I didn't understand. And apparently it is, if you count Twilight as a whole universe.