Chris-chan and Sonichu: ZAP TO THE EXTREME

Damnit, CWC.

[quote="Harley Quinn hyenaholic"]

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Looks like CWC outsquicked a furry.

I've only recently discovered the mailbag.

Honestly, all my years at GAFF could not prepare me for this

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From: Davros Skaledthal

Greetings, Mister Chandler. My name is Davros Skaledthal. I am a geneticist, and I have a few questions after reading the latest issue of Sonichu. I deeply enjoy your comic, and especially the portrayal of Cwcville as a utopia. Every man should have a place to call his own, don't you agree?

First off, though, may I say how inspiring it is that you manage to make a high-quality page nearly every day. It must be incredibly taxing on you, but you seem to be coping admirably. Now, as to the questions.

1. You say that there is a 'gay gene' that can be cured. How exactly does this cure work, and which chromosome is said gay gene attached to?

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1) It is neutrally attached to an X Chromosone.

A stunning revelation, Dr. Chandler.

But wait, it gets even better.

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2. As you have said in a previous mail post, you understand the basics of how evolution works. I'm not expecting you to discuss it at doctorate level of course, but as you know, a gene that is not used or is recessive does not transfer to the next generation. How then is the gay gene transmitted? Obviously every gay man or woman has two heterosexual parents, therefore the gay gene is not represented in either of them.

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2) It can be spread through such methods as Blood or Organ Transfusion, or there may be a slim, yet present, chance in spreading it through bodily liquid exchange such of which is sneezing.

I call troll. He has to be. No human being could possibly be this stupid.

He's real. CWCki has been over that a billion times and counting. He even mentioned sonichu on his resume.

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From: Dr. Josef Mengele

Dear Christian,

My name is Josef Mengele, I am a doctor studying homosexuals and seeking proper treatment for them. I recently read your most recent issue about homosexuals being cured by your blood to stop the gay gene and I must say I am impressed by your intelligence with regards to homosexuality and knowing it is genetic.

I have several proposals for dealing and treating with homosexuals and I was wondering if I could get some cross examination of my theories from a like minded individual. I believe that we are very close to isolating the elusive “gay gene” in the human genome list. However, finding gays who want to be cured is very hard work! I have proposed to my government body on many occasions the marking of homosexuals, (making them wear rainbow emblems on themselves at all times), and the gathering of homosexuals onto trains and planes to take them to camps where we can better study them and hopefully find a final solution to the homosexual problem. Some people -- mainly the homosexuals -- get really offended when I suggest this… Then again they’re gay and don’t know any better.

Am I wrong in my idea that we should mark homosexuals with a friendly pin so people know they are gay? I think it would be most helpful if we could gather them all up and study them in one location! After all if we are able to implement the final solution and rid homosexuality forever wouldn’t it be a good thing? I think homosexuals need to see that this is for the betterment and good of mankind and cooperate more.

Sincerely,

Dr. Josef Mengele



Your ideas are good, but I do see flaws on them; the wearing of pins would be considered Manditory, yet this a Free Country with Civil Rights; the individuals may choose NOT to wear them even though they have them. And of course they would resist even volunteering to go to a Camp; just the word, Camp, gives the impression of the days when the Jews were oppressed by Hitler (Anne Frank comes to mind), and that is not a good image. If you want their cooperation, you have to give the impression that they are not going to feel Forced. With such, I would recommend the term "Camp" not be used, but use a term that gives a more positive impression on the Study and the Ideas. And lessen the required number for the study; maybe select 5 or 10 homosexual individuals to help, and offer compensation. --ChrisChanSonichu 05:58, 9 January 2010 (CET)

:aaa:

:headshot:

For all the times he's claimed he has no problem with homosexuals, he certainly has no shortage of ideas to "cure" them.

Denial? Yeah, denial.

Delcat wrote:

Whenever he goes on about the 4Cent Garbage thing, I always idly wonder if he even knows about the other 4Chan boards. Boards like /co/ and /ck/ are only tangentially related to /b/, never did anything to him, and are thus neutral territory. By bringing down the entire BEEEELDING, he effectively bombed Switzerland.

Of course, I only hang out in /y/, so I guess I'm going down with the rest of the gaywads.

I honestly wonder how a lady looking at dudes doing eachother for her own heterosexual enjoyment plays into cwc's xXxTREEME H8RED of gay folks.

Bamshalam wrote:

Delcat wrote:

Whenever he goes on about the 4Cent Garbage thing, I always idly wonder if he even knows about the other 4Chan boards. Boards like /co/ and /ck/ are only tangentially related to /b/, never did anything to him, and are thus neutral territory. By bringing down the entire BEEEELDING, he effectively bombed Switzerland.

Of course, I only hang out in /y/, so I guess I'm going down with the rest of the gaywads.

I honestly wonder how a lady looking at dudes doing eachother for her own heterosexual enjoyment plays into cwc's xXxTREEME H8RED of gay folks.

Ya know, my mom always used to say that you needed to keep an eye on people who constantly harped about how evil something was, because nine out of 10 times, they had something to hide (and yes, I'm looking at you, Fred Phelps).

Chris, your inability to get laid has nothing to do with evil gays, and everything to do with the fact that any sane, rational person, no matter what their sexual persuasion, is not going to want to have sex with a 30 something year old guy who still lives at home and spends all his time drawing pornographic furry cartoons.

Which brings us to the double standard he has. I suspect that there are women into furries who'd gladly have sex with him, but he doesn't WANT to have sex with someone who's into furries, even though that's all he draws. He wants to have sex with a sweet innocent virgin girl who would never dream of having sex with some guy wearing a fox costume. And he wants to film it. Right there, you've got a stumbling block roughly the size of Mt. Rushmore.

Lysander, I never thought I'd do this, but him actually ANSWERING the e-mail from Dr. Mengele made me

His birthday is on the same day as mine. I feel... soiled.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Which brings us to the double standard he has. I suspect that there are women into furries who'd gladly have sex with him, but he doesn't WANT to have sex with someone who's into furries, even though that's all he draws. He wants to have sex with a sweet innocent virgin girl who would never dream of having sex with some guy wearing a fox costume. And he wants to film it. Right there, you've got a stumbling block roughly the size of Mt. Rushmore.

This. Also, did he say he wanted to have sex while wearing a fox costume? I must have missed that.

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From: Brandon Louthan
I'm sorry, but I read in your one mailbag that gay sex is illegal in CWCville and Magi-Chan has the ability to tell when it happens...that seems like an invasion of privacy to me. Sound something like a dictator would do.


I assure you, it is NOT a dictator-type government; as said on the Wikipedia on Dictatorship as a Government Type, and I quote, "A dictatorship is defined as an autocratic form of government in which the government is ruled by an individual, the dictator, without hereditary ascension." I have previously stated that Cwcville was originally founded by my Father, in which made him Mayor of it for some years, who gave it a different name before he named me Mayor later on. Yet is NOT a Monarchy either, because we HOLD elections for the Members of the Cwcville Board and such. --ChrisChanSonichu 04:44, 8 January 2010 (CET)

And now, please rise for the national anthem.

Keith Fraser wrote:

Rabid Badger wrote:

Which brings us to the double standard he has. I suspect that there are women into furries who'd gladly have sex with him, but he doesn't WANT to have sex with someone who's into furries, even though that's all he draws. He wants to have sex with a sweet innocent virgin girl who would never dream of having sex with some guy wearing a fox costume. And he wants to film it. Right there, you've got a stumbling block roughly the size of Mt. Rushmore.

This. Also, did he say he wanted to have sex while wearing a fox costume? I must have missed that.

No, he never said anything about having sex while wearing a fox costume. I got a bit carried away. On the other hand, as I said, he's the only human character in his comics, and he seems to have no problem with the idea of hedgehogs and the likes havng sex with each other. But he can only have sex with a real girl. So I doubt he'd agree to have sex with one who was into furries. He just strikes me as the type who's got a double standard that would make a Mormon blush.

Bamshalam wrote:

I honestly wonder how a lady looking at dudes doing eachother for her own heterosexual enjoyment plays into cwc's xXxTREEME H8RED of gay folks.

Why, Bam, that's the worst perversion of all! After all, every minute I spend schlicking to gay sex is a minute I could be spending having sex with him! Why would women throw away their sexual impulses like that? It's like eating stupid useless fruit when you could have a Big Mac!

...yeah I was gonna do the "cheeseburger v. steak" thing there but ya gotta figure that a man who considers Glade air fresheners hoity-toity doesn't know much about haute cuisine. Like, when he sees them torturing some poor goose to make foie gras, he wonders why they're wasting perfectly good greased corn mash on a dumb bird.

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

Wait, did he call him 'father'? JEEZ.

I was thinking you could write the backstory to that.

Chris wrote:

Also, I Swear as God and Jesus as my Witnesses, THE FIRST TIME, and maybe the second time as well, I HAVE SEX WITH A WOMAN, I WILL Video Record the Whole Thing and Upload it onto RedTube, so FINALLY PEOPLE can SEE what should have been seen almost a Decade Ago.

You... what. WHAT.

I generally don't say stuff like this, but Chris seriously just needs to have a chemical castration done. ffs. Either that or just masturbate more. He's not ready to have sex because he has no fucking idea what a romantic relationship with another adult entails.

Swear as God and Jesus as his Witnesses, hm? I'm sure they really appreciate that.

I've taken the bait and sent him an innocent-enough email, asking him if there'd be any kind of evidence brought against those charged with gay sex in CWCVille in court, if there would even be a court hearing.

Also, why gay sex is illegal in the first place, but that's pretty obvious, isn't it?

the asylum wrote:

I've taken the bait and sent him an innocent-enough email, asking him if there'd be any kind of evidence brought against those charged with gay sex in CWCVille in court, if there would even be a court hearing.

Also, why gay sex is illegal in the first place, but that's pretty obvious, isn't it?

Magi-chan's psychic surviellence.

A bit like the spectral evidence in the Salem Witch Trials, I'd imagine.

No-one will ever top Dr. Josef Mengele's letter.

If I could draw, I'd troll by drawing "Sonichu X" where the gun-wielding rabbits from Jazz Jacrabbit break into CWCville, lead by Sir Patrick Stewart, and kill all the Sonichus.

Although that might cause him to kill himself... and it would be borderline psychotic on my part... yeah bad idea.

If I could draw, which I can't... I'd troll by drawing up a naruto manga where akatsuki somehow is defeated by one person with no help from anyone else... oh wait.

Reidmar wrote:

If I could draw, which I can't... I'd troll by drawing up a naruto manga where akatsuki somehow is defeated by one person with no help from anyone else... oh wait.

what

Reidmar wrote:

If I could draw, which I can't... I'd troll by drawing up a naruto manga where akatsuki somehow is defeated by one person with no help from anyone else... oh wait.

You just don't understand: he has the power of hatred on his side. HATRED. CAVE IN OF HATRED.

And I caught up to the more popular aspects of Chris's WTFery alst night on his ED article, but I'm also revising for a test so I'm saving the really good stuff, the comics/youtube videos/ect. for after I've finished Media 101!