Sex, Lichens, & Videotape: Zeiss, Inky, and Del take a trip to "Femboy School!" (NWS)

See that gallery link up there on the bar below the logo Zeiss?

You can host them here.

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OH GOD OH MAN OH GOD OH MAN OH GOD OH MAN OH GOD

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Page 79

Delcat: *yawny* Gosh, Zeiss, I sure am tired. Is this a bedtime story?
Zeiss Manifold: No, it's a FEMtime story
Delcat: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] Does it not have dragons in, then? Or are they just militant femidragons?
Zeiss Manifold: OH GOD THEY SKINNED HIS HAND wait that's a glove
Delcat: I think they circumsized his hand, actually. IN FEMLAND, ALL THINGS MUST EMULATE PENIS.
Delcat: EXCEPT WHEN THEY EMULATE VAGINA.
Delcat: Is this kid ever NOT blushing? Ever?
Zeiss Manifold: It looks more like bruising, really. Maybe he's trying to punch his tears away?
Delcat: You'd think his eyes would've popped, then. They look ready to burst at the slightest provocation.
Zeiss Manifold: LIKE HIS COCK
Delcat: A butterfly flaps its wings in China, and BOOM vitreous humor all over the walls

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Page 80

Delcat: OH GOD HE'S BEEN A GHOST ALL ALONG
Delcat: OR A GENIE OR A MERMAN OR SOMETHING
Zeiss Manifold: "...Even backwards!" Like the page?
Delcat: I think he just took a trip to Australia.
Zeiss Manifold: Well yeah, you can't get gradient pants anywhere else.
Delcat: It's not just the dead porn star eyes and the monoleg, look at his tie. It's not clothing, it's a tie-shaped wedge cut out of his chest.
Delcat: If you stare into it too long, you start flying over the eldritch, angled buildings of Lovecraft's darkest fever dreams.
Delcat: And then you get raped in the ass.
Zeiss Manifold: Does that make him a Hollow? Why are we in Bleach now?
Delcat: I don't know, but can we stay?
Delcat: Someone wore a hole in this page and stitched text bubbles on to mend it.
Zeiss Manifold: No wonder this thing is so long. The rest of it is just femboys drawing swords and looking at each other.
Zeiss Manifold: Ooh, it's like a scrapbook. An ungodly creepy scrapbook, no less.

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Page 81

Delcat: Only the Femland baby books have a page for footprints, a page for handprints, and a page for dickprints.
Delcat: OH DRAT
Zeiss Manifold: The sheer amount of words finally overloads the comic! It's up to the MSPaint rectangle tool to finish the job!
Zeiss Manifold: If splorting you is wrong, he doesn't want to be right.
Zeiss Manifold: Oh pfff, I missed "DRAT" on the first runaround.
Zeiss Manifold: ALACK AND ALAS
Delcat: Panel 4: It takes him a long time to get to the room, as he accidentally runs through a Hanna-Barbera background for a few hours first.
Zeiss Manifold: Femboys! Meet the femboys! They're a child-endangering familyyyyyyy....
Delcat: Panel 6: "Joni! Take off your stuffed rabbit and your cordless phone before you step inside!"
Zeiss Manifold: I can't tell if those are supposed to be his shoes, bullets, or anthropomorphic jalapeño peppers.
Delcat: Friggia in the riggia, Friggia in the riggia, Friggia in the riggia, there was fuck-all else to do

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Page 82

Zeiss Manifold: WAIL!
Zeiss Manifold: OH, CONSTANCE, THIS IS A GREAT CALAMITY
Delcat: That's how I addressed all my Christmas cards this year. "Happy holidays, ROOOOOWL,.. DROOL,..PANT,..PANT,..love, Del, SPLORT."
Delcat: oh my God wait a second...ZEISS, HE'S LOOKING AT US IN PANEL 2. HE'S SPOTTED US.
Zeiss Manifold: OH FUCK, GRANT MORRISSON TOOK OVER THE WRITING JOB
Delcat: QUICKLY, THE FLASH GRENADES AND THE CHLOROFORM
Delcat: WE MUST NOT BE REMEMBERED
Zeiss Manifold: I don't think Joni is the rememberin' type.
Zeiss Manifold: His pants become noticably darker when he's scared. Are they anthropomorphic too? Do they comically issue forth steam when he becomes aroused?
Delcat: No, he just drank five glasses of Gatorade before reading the letter.
Zeiss Manifold: mwop mwop mwopppppppp

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Page 83

Delcat: Wow, that was a long way to go for THAT faceless throwaway character.
Zeiss Manifold: Woman who's name I still don't know: SO WHAT KIND OF STRAP-ON SHOULD I USE ON A NEWBIE, FLANGED OR NON-FLANGED
Zeiss Manifold: Bobi: god i hate you
Delcat: Is it possible to dislocate your wrist to the point that the entire hand is free-floating? 'Cause I don't know how else to explain panel 3.
Delcat: The terrible truth of the harvest--THEY'RE HARVESTING FACES AUGH NOOOOOO
Zeiss Manifold: HARVEST THE FACE OFF ANOTHER FEMBOY

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Page 84

Delcat: So is there any surface in the entire compound not covered with a greasy rime of sexual fluids?
'Cause the kitchen was my last hope.
Zeiss Manifold: Do tears count as sexual fluids in this universe?
Delcat: You may do the honors this time, Zeiss.
Zeiss Manifold: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Delcat: Ah, it never gets old.
Zeiss Manifold: If this kid tries on a diaper and wets himself, I'm calling the whole snark off.
Delcat: I think the font rules of this manga should apply to fanfiction. I think when characters get REALLY upset, they should be forced to talk in Chiller.
Zeiss Manifold: This should also apply to Shakespeare. What better way to invigorate interest in the classics than with colorful fonts?
Delcat: Do we really have a kid offering himself up to his deity of choice as a cannibalistic sexual sacrifice to his adoptive mother? I think I can hear Freud clawing at the top of his coffin.
Zeiss Manifold: Oh hey, it's one of those World Wildlife Fund tapes they mailed to everyone in the 90's. This thing takes me back.
Delcat: That's what this manga needs! Panda bears! Oh boy, turn the page!

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Page 85

Zeiss Manifold: And now, Freud tries the coffin-breaking trick from Kill Bill.
Delcat: THAT'S NOT A PANDA BEAR
Zeiss Manifold: Yes, it is, it's even got a spot oh wait that's a nipple
Delcat: Man, pretty sloppy with the bondage gear there. Only one nipple vibe? What is this, amateur hour?
Zeiss Manifold: Someone tell the girl in the back to calm down, it's just a strap-on.
Delcat: And not one physically attached to anything, at that.
Zeiss Manifold: .....SHLIICK?
Zeiss Manifold: wait a damn minute
Delcat: They really ARE femboys!
Delcat: Or else he has a little vagina on the other side of his dick.
Delcat: I think breaking into "BWA HA HA HA HA HA" at random moments during sex is a little-known STI, actually.

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Page 86

Zeiss Manifold: TORCHA
Zeiss Manifold: FONTS FOR THE FONT GOD
Delcat: YES JONI, YOU NOW KNOW THE TERRIBLE TRUTH! REBEL AGAINST THE HORRIBLE PEDOPHILES! BRING US ALL A HAPPY ENDING!
Zeiss Manifold: Panel 1: I'm just gonna light my cigar with this here penis
Delcat: seriously if you don't accept whatever handwave they're gonna use on this, this is a terrifying page of sober realization
Delcat: BUT THAT'S NOT FUNNY SO LOL LOOK DONGS
Zeiss Manifold: AND THEIR NIPPLES
Zeiss Manifold: WHICH LOOK LIKE LITTLE HERSHEY'S KISSES
Delcat: Oh God, the kid in the last panel. Anatomy...just...it gets worse the longer you look at it.
Zeiss Manifold: I think he's segmented.
Delcat: Please, the last thing we need is an extended VERY HUNGRY ASSERPILLAR pun page.

Aw shit.

YOU STOPPED TOO SOON! I CRAVE MOOOOOOORE!

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Page 87

Zeiss Manifold: Boy, I can't wait for that handwave.
Delcat: If we cut out the "killin' a little boy" part of the fourth panel, we'd have a pretty good summation of the thread.
Zeiss Manifold: This book is just nipples and boys screaming.
Delcat: "Chew three times before swallowing"? Even if she was actually chewing which I hope to all that is good and HOLY is not true, isn't that kind of underchewing?
Delcat: The last thing this book needs is someone choking to death on under-processed testicle chunks.
Zeiss Manifold: Having someone choke in the middle of a BDSM scene has to be the most awkward thing imaginable.
Delcat: Last panel: Dear God his cock is making angry Donald Duck noises

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Page 88

Zeiss Manifold: Second panel: Ugh what is that cock wearing ugh
Delcat: Look, be disgusted to the point of vomiting or horny to the point of uncontrollable masturbation, just pick one and be happy with it, the mood whiplash is bugging me
Delcat: The Knave of Hearts stole my cock tarts.
Zeiss Manifold: I sure know that I like to make railroad conductor motions with my spare hand while masturbating.
Delcat: Yes, Zeiss, but you do have some pretty severe psychological issues.
Delcat: Are cock tarts what you get when you put your dick in a toaster?
Zeiss Manifold: they told me there were pandas on that tape but THEY LIED
Delcat: Cock tart. Cock tart. COCK TART. I am not getting over that one anytime soon.
Delcat: Or at least until they top it with some other horrible diabetic sexual metaphor.
Zeiss Manifold: I am cock tarts. Cock pies. Cock toast.
Delcat: Can you bake a jism pie, Billy Boy, Billy Boy, can you bake a jism pie, darling Billy~

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Page 89

Zeiss Manifold: I EJACULATE IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION
Delcat: NOOOO NOT ALL OVER THE LCD
Delcat: I agree with her there, at least. Masturbation is about the most self-ish act you can find.
Delcat: ...hey, if they can surf on terrible puns, I can too >(
Zeiss Manifold: Better than strap-onning someone in the left buttock, though. Ouch.
Delcat: Last panel: We've replaced Joni's hips with an extra torso. Let's see if he notices.
Zeiss Manifold: Last panel: That doesn't look like a floor so much as a giant replica of the cover to The Wall.
Delcat: Well, he was just caught red-handed showing feelings, feelings of an almost femin nature. This will not do.
Zeiss Manifold: i think we already made this joke once
Delcat: God, I hate what this is doing to characters I really care about. THOSE POOR COOKIES.

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Page 90

Zeiss Manifold: THAT ERASES MY EYE
Delcat: HANDWAVE DELIVERED
Zeiss Manifold: Panel 4: YOU WILL OBEY ME WHEN I DO THE CRANE DANCE
Delcat: FEAR AND OBEY ME, FOR I HAVE CLAW HANDS
Zeiss Manifold: I AM A CRAB, SCUTTLING AND LACTATING
Delcat: Wait a second, did the TV just absorb the cumstains? Is this some technology of which we are not yet privy? It WOULD explain why Unskilled's keyboard hasn't given up the ghost yet.
Zeiss Manifold: I'm just confused as to why they have so many Wonderbread bags scattered around the house.
Delcat: Last panel: "Hey, it's me, your left tit. I, ahhh, I'm obviously not needed for this scene, so I'm gonna wander off and get some juice or something. Anyone want anything? No? Okay, see you."
Delcat: I am really trying not to touch what's being said here because it's honestly disturbing, but how the hell does a kid as naive/stupid as Joni know how praying mantises work?
Zeiss Manifold: "Really? I'm this kid's left arm, we should go do something. I'm hooked up with his gradient pants right now and it's a real drag."

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Page 91

Zeiss Manifold: I DON'T LIKE PAIN AT THE STORE
Zeiss Manifold: [laugh track]
Delcat: OH MY GOD, YOU SICK BASTARDS, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THAT POOR INNOCENT?! SHE'S BEEN BIOENGINEERED INTO A TERRIBLE DRAWING!
Delcat: All joking aside, are we sure Freud didn't actually WRITE this?
Zeiss Manifold: Depends. Did Freud's wet dreams center around gesturing at misshapen fleshsacks?
Zeiss Manifold: ...I think I figured out what this art reminds me of. Those models of breasts they used to put in monkey cages to simulate mother figures.
Delcat: Well, Zeiss, have you ever had a wet dream of a spectacularly engineered body like that? The asymmetrical water-balloon thighs, the snap-in-half torso, the soldered-to-the-sides boobs, the back navel?
Zeiss Manifold: You forgot the nail-file vulva.
Delcat: Are you saying this entire thing is a large-scale Harlow experiment? Then where's the wire food monkey?
Zeiss Manifold: Oh, probably being used as a lubeholder.Delcat: This entire manga deserves to be stuck into a Skinner box for all eternity.

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Page 92

Delcat: I guess those ARE bruises. It would explain why they seem a little bit worse on every page.
Zeiss Manifold: WE DECIDED THAT THE MENFOLK'S TORSOS WERE TOO SHORT
Zeiss Manifold: THEY ALSO DID NOT EJACULATE CUSTARD
Delcat: "DOES THIS BUG YOU? WE'RE NOT BOOBING YOU!"
Zeiss Manifold: OR TASTY RANCH DRESSING FOR THAT MATTER
Zeiss Manifold: That is the worst attempt at drawing pubic hair I have ever seen. Her pubis looks frayed.
Delcat: Judging by panel 2, that tape is approximately 4,513 minutes long.
Delcat: Looks like a collection of mold spores to me. That's why you gotta change your underwear on a regular basis, son.
Zeiss Manifold: That tape makes less and less sense the more you look at it.
Delcat: Seriously. The flap is, like, three times the size it should be. It's overcompensating for something.
Zeiss Manifold: So that this would never happen again, the tape was launched into geosynchronous orbit around Saturn.
Delcat: Why must even the inanimate objects in this manga have bad anatomy?
Zeiss Manifold: I'm starting to think that the artist just decided to go for it and draw an entire manga with his ears.
Delcat: Oh, I'm just loving the sidelong "Oh, we had to take over the hard jobs that men had, so we have to find a way to make it fun for us!" message here.
Zeiss Manifold: more like hand jobs amirite
Delcat: I didn't know sexism could be that passive-aggressive. Passive-asexive.
Zeiss Manifold: more like assive-asexive amirite
Delcat: Zeiss, is it just me, or did the weathervane just spin around in the direction of Crazyfuck Exposition?
Zeiss Manifold: more like sexposition amirite
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Zeiss Manifold: And, yes, that was the weathervane. Why, that cock just can't keep up.
Delcat: THANK YOU FOLKS, THANK YOU
Zeiss Manifold: ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF FEMBOY SCHOOL: NYAR TORRENTS PHOTOSHOP, TAKES THE BROWN ACID

How have you guys read this and not had your brains leaking out of your ears? I have a hard enough time with the snark.

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Zeiss Manifold: OKAY
Zeiss Manifold: NOW IS EVERYBODY READY TO GET
Zeiss Manifold: ABSOLUTELY CRAAAAAAAZY

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Page 93

Zeiss Manifold: RADICAL FEMINISM
Zeiss Manifold: THIS IS HOW IT WORKS GAIZ
InkWeaver: oh god wait I actually need to read this or I will die of not laughing at it.
InkWeaver: LOL SHE'S JUST LIKE THAT GUYS
Delcat: I didn't know Jack Chick sublet his ghostwriters to do batshit feminist pornaganda.
Zeiss Manifold: It's a Henry Darger book gone horribly wrong.
Delcat: "Ha ha, men like women around and they show this by raping them. It's funny!"
InkWeaver: "Instead of totally dominating men and taking away their willpower through violence, these women do it with pleasure. This makes it okay!"
Zeiss Manifold: Middle drawing: GUIDE ME SKY BAGUETTE
Delcat: "Ma'am, do you want your baby, or do you want that giant potato?"
Delcat: Seriously, if that's a baby, she is giving fuck-all support to its head.
Zeiss Manifold: Unfortunately, such a society also wielded acorn breasts.
InkWeaver: Those aren't acorns.
InkWeaver: Those are mini traffic cones.
Delcat: Wait, acorn breasts? BINGO! I just won fruit-breast bingo, guys! What's my prize?Delcat: "Panel" 4: "Ma'am, you're slowly falling sideways. You might want to come back in and get your inner ear checked."
InkWeaver: THE GODDESS BESTOWED UPON THEM
InkWeaver: FUCKED UP EQUILIBRIUM

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Page 94

Zeiss Manifold: Teen femin from Mars and we don't care, teen femin from Mars and we don't care
InkWeaver: On this page: DERP DERP SAI-INCe
Zeiss Manifold: I just imagine Nyar hammering this section out in one night of Funyun and Mr. Pibb-fueled MSPaint delirium.
Zeiss Manifold: Boy, nipple deformations go right in hand with being a femboy, it seems.
InkWeaver: They're so dark and SHINY. Why do their nipples have highlights? have they been glossed?

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Page 95

Delcat: Oh hell, more of this. Hit me again, please!
InkWeaver: So not only are they fucking AWESOME
InkWeaver: but they're also
InkWeaver: FUCKING AWESOME
InkWeaver: right?
Zeiss Manifold: I think we've passed into The Realms of the Unreal here.
InkWeaver: Oh, just NOW you think we've passed into that? Silly Zeiss.
InkWeaver: OUR FLESHY BODIES WERE NO MATCH FOR 50 CALIBER MACHINE GUNS.
Delcat: Oh wow, this is so progressive and empowering! These women are really kicking--wait a second. Attachments to their kitchen blenders? Their KITCHEN BLENDERS? The superwomen are fighting with COOKING APPLIANCES? OH FUCK YOU.
Zeiss Manifold: I like the image of the missile bouncing off the deflector field, though. I like to think it makes a nice *POING* sound.
Delcat: Center stage: I'M COVERED IN BEES! *EXPLODES*
Delcat: We talked about this in the preliminary runthough, Zeiss, it makes a buh-GOING noise.
InkWeaver: Essentially, we have an army of Wonder Womans. Women?
Delcat: WOMANS!
Delcat: I don't remember this part from Threads OR When the Wind Blows, I must say.
Delcat: Is that an ant made of butts?
Zeiss Manifold: I'm just trying to process the images on display here. The Horror of Spider Island, the Spess Marine, the Teutonic Monopoly token...
InkWeaver: Is... is that guy dissolving into a cloud of Locusts? TRULY THE PLAGUES ARE UPON US.
Zeiss Manifold: IT MUST BE THE FEM TIMES

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Page 96

InkWeaver: What... the fuck... is a neutron bomb? Do those exist?
Delcat: Iiiii think so, but I think we know as much about them as Nyar does.
Delcat: I.E. nothing.
Zeiss Manifold: I just want to know when James Cameron is going to snag the movie rights.
Delcat: Dude, I already said that this was not in Threads, and that was their chance, man.
InkWeaver: Oh, come on, this is like the most EPIC story ever. Look, it's even starting to get heartwrenching! Just look at those touching scenes of people fucking.
Delcat: Center bottom: God, that just looks inestimably painful for all involved, including the chair.
InkWeaver: Her thighs must hurt.
Delcat: That's a pretty stupid baby. "MASH FACE ON COLLARBONE, WHY NO MILK??"
Zeiss Manifold: Bottom right: Her nipples went 'spung', alright, and then some.
Delcat: "I harvested him a bit early"...what, is this a moving case for manipulating labor to produce preemies now? What even...you sick fuck, just, you sick FUCK.
InkWeaver: Those aren't nipples. Those are funnels.
InkWeaver: Like the ones you use for oil. can't you just see it?
Delcat: OH GOD I CAN NOW
Delcat: Wait, did she just say she was twelve?
Zeiss Manifold: IN MAGIC FEMIN YEARS
InkWeaver: is that like dog years?
Delcat: She has a humorous T-shirt that reads "IN DOG YEARS, I'M A CHILD MOLESTER"
Delcat: HA
InkWeaver: quick, someone multiply that by seven.
InkWeaver: sdklfjs;dlfkjds;klfj SAME BRAIN
Delcat: femin 12 x 7 = DNE

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Page 97

Zeiss Manifold: Those are femboys who died, died!
Zeiss Manifold: They were all our fems, and they died!
Delcat: Oh thank God, we're not floating in vague white space anymore! I KISS THE GROUND *smerp*
Delcat: OH GOD WHAT WAS ON THAT GROUND BLECH YARK
Delcat: Zeiss, wasn't Panel 2 the plot of one of the Anal Justice 2 chapters?
Zeiss Manifold: ...Holy shit.
Delcat: AND SO WE CUM FULL CIRCLE-JERK
Zeiss Manifold:
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Zeiss Manifold: "...He was getting lots of good sex!" Well, of course he's going to die if you don't feed him, Jesus God woman
Delcat: If the damage only affects males, why can't she bioengineer it so she has girl babies? You CANNOT tell me they can't do that with all this other bullshit science.
InkWeaver: You know, if this weren't so fucked up, I would totes feel bad for this lady.
Delcat: I am really curious as hell about the original manga now, I must say.
Delcat: Wait, so this kid was a victim of nuclear fallout? SO MUCH BECOMES CLEAR.
Zeiss Manifold: If the "Gene Council" doesn't turn out to be Gene Siskel, Gene Hackman, Gene Wilder, Gene Simmons and Gene Shalit sitting around a table playing Rummy, I'm going to be very disappointed in this. Even more so, if that's possible.
InkWeaver: I think that would make this comic awesome, Zeiss, so... no. That won't happen.
Delcat: Gene Wilder? ~Come with me, and we'll see a world of Nyar's imagination...
Zeiss Manifold: "A world of penile penetration" is more like it, considering where this book is headed.

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Page 98

Delcat: OH GOD I'M LOSING IT AGAIN I'M DRIFTING AWAY
Delcat: GRAB MY FEET GUYS I'M GONNA FLY INTO THE FANS
Zeiss Manifold: "Peace lances" my ass, those are robe hangers and they know it.
Delcat: 42 derp hurpadurp
Zeiss Manifold: ...this looks shooped
Delcat: How can you tell?
Zeiss Manifold: Call it a hunch. A sex-emotive hunch.
Delcat: From the pixels, and having seen a few boycocks in your time?
Zeiss Manifold: I had a boycock at one point, I'm familiar with how they operate and this page doesn't jive. Let's not dwell on this.
Delcat: I can't decide whether Nyar's trying to reference the Holocaust or Watership Down with the "clawing over each other" bit.
Delcat: Degauss, degauss...D-E-G...
Delcat: de-gauss
/di'gaʊs/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [dee-gous] Show IPA
Use degauss in a Sentence
See images of degauss
Search degauss on the Web
–verb (used with object)
to demagnetize (a ship's hull, electrical equipment, etc.) by means of electric coils.
Delcat: ...THAT MAKES EVEN LESS SENSE
Zeiss Manifold: It's delightful, it's delicious, it's degaussed! And desplorted, I can presume.
InkWeaver: Well. I have no brain since reading this page.
InkWeaver: Also, the tiny penis hurt me.
Delcat: Wow, you're reading these? I try, but all I hear in my head is this WAH WAH WAH WAH noise like the adults in Peanuts, but with SPLORT SPLORT SPLORTS instead.

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Page 99

Zeiss Manifold: Did everyone's sinuses just explode or something?
Delcat: Man, I'm trying to work out what TV Tropes Aesop this is but they don't have a YOU ARE A SICK MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU SHOULD GUT YOURSELF FOR YOUR TERRIBLE RATIONALIZATIONS Aesop page.
InkWeaver: So should we say he's cutting off his penis to spite his face in this case?
Delcat: Well, to be fair, he doesn't have enough of a nose to wrap a pair of scissors around.
Delcat: They probably don't have scissors, anyway. They probably have MAGNETIC ULTRAVIOLET scissors.
Zeiss Manifold: Threatening to cut off your dong is in the same league as threatening to shit on things. You'd really have to have no other options left.
Delcat: INCLUDING shitting on things.
InkWeaver: WELL I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK BEING A FEMBOY NOW HUH TOO BAD
InkWeaver: WELL I'MMA CUT OFF MAH WILLY
InkWeaver: ...SHIT.
Delcat: Oh God, the text has been too heavy to pay attention to the anatomy the last few pages, but check the fourth panel.
Delcat: His hips and his torso are wandering off in different directions like a broken Barbie doll.
Delcat: The comma-ellipses are bothering me as much as anything else. I wonder if I can put that on my college application as proof of devotion to my major.
Zeiss Manifold:
Last panel: "Ha, now your evil plan is thwarted!"
"NO, YOU'VE SPOILED THE COOL WHIP YOU MONSTER"
InkWeaver: I hate comma ellipses. They are the bane of my existence sometimes.
Zeiss Manifold: Alright, one more page left, and it's a doozy. Everyone ready?
InkWeaver: Yeah!
InkWeaver: I think! Hopefully!
Zeiss Manifold: And you, Del?
Delcat: can't hear you getting drunk off my ass in preparation

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Page 100

Delcat: 100 GET
Delcat: What is this, Relax-o-vision? Weren't we just watching a kid threatening to chop his cock off?
Zeiss Manifold: Just imagine Nyar hammering this all out, his slabs of flesh warbling against each other in the musky August air.
InkWeaver: First impression: Why is she sweating in such a relaxed position?
Delcat: blocktext is sooooo sexy unf unf
InkWeaver: No seriously. What happened to dick-cutting-off-ness?
Delcat: I bet Nyar takes this along with him to dates to show so sensitive and approving of feminism he is.
Delcat: Said date invariably calls cops. WHAT IS HE DOING WRONG??
Delcat: I guess he just got so excited by all the...excitement that he decided to cool down with a little eye-gouging pink.
Zeiss Manifold: tl;dr: The Femins pretty much hold the femboys in slavery but it's with LOVE so it's awwwright
InkWeaver: god, i switched screens after reading that and it HURT.
Delcat: "Breeding techniques reserved for animals in humans are readily used by the femin on themselves": What, like on Dirty Jobs where they show the horse a lady horse and he humps a dummy until some hapless rodeo-hand can jerk him off?
Delcat: I'm not sure whether that'd be worse or better than what
Delcat: 's coming next.
InkWeaver: rodeo hands jerk off horses?
Delcat: Maybe I'm thinking of bulls.
Zeiss Manifold: This is a really bad rock opera plot, is what this is. It's only hard to read because it's not printed on a double album gatefold.
Delcat: I didn't want to commit these things to memory man there were hands in bad places and mosaic censoring
Zeiss Manifold: Ladies and gentlemen, a work so compellingly awful that those who choose to endure it must converse about animal breeding techniques as an escape.
Delcat: At least it can't get much worse than this.
Zeiss Manifold: BUT CAN IT? FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF FEMBOY SCHOOL

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Since everybody seems to be strung up today and my thoughts on the wank of the moment can basically be summed up in two caps, I’ve decided to get down to the forum’s roots and you know, snark shit. Perhaps the Femin can teach us all to wank in harmony!

Zeiss Manifold: EVERYONE READY
Delcat: As I'll ever be.
Zeiss Manifold: GENTLEMEN
Zeiss Manifold: START YOUR FEMGINES

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Page 101

InkWeaver: don't be sorry, it's fine.
Delcat: how long you been sittin' on that one, Zeiss?
Zeiss Manifold: 40 seconds.
Delcat: And how long has HE been sitting on THAT one?
Delcat: Man, his legs are nicer than mine.
InkWeaver: His legs are nicer than anyone's has a right to be.
Zeiss Manifold: His nipples have been moving closer and closer to each other throughout this whole thing
Zeiss Manifold: He's just going to have one by the end.
Delcat: MONOBOOB!
Zeiss Manifold: Reverse nipple mitosis, that's his problem
InkWeaver: Is his uke blush getting on anyone else's nerves lately?
Delcat: Aw man, that happened to a lady in my fandom. It's reversible, though, you just have to switch to a network without crazy censors.
Delcat: It's not just you. His wibble-eyes are worse, though.

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Page 102

Zeiss Manifold: DON'T YOU DARE START REFERENCING FRANK ZAPPA ALBUMS, NYAR
Zeiss Manifold: I GOT MY EYES ON YOU
Delcat: Oh yeah. THIS was what was happening. How could I have forgotten.
Zeiss Manifold: "Chattel?" Fuck it, I'm in college and I don't know what that means
Zeiss Manifold: and this kid from the post-apocalyptic Ozarks or whatever can use it in a sentence
Delcat: Think we should nab the "So determined to kill yourself" BAAAAW for future LoveShy antics?
InkWeaver: FIXED IT YAY
Delcat: God, that perspective in the first panel. It looks like Honey, I Blew Up the Kid! gone horribly wrong. Well...more wrong than it went to begin with, anyway.
Zeiss Manifold: And behind the scenes, the rest of the femboys are slitting their wrists because they aren't splorty enough.
Zeiss Manifold: I think "Femboy Suicide" was a Julian Cope album, Nyar just missed the music-reference chance of a lifetime
InkWeaver: FEMIAN IN THE LAST PANEL, DON'T YOU DARE EAT THAT HEART
Delcat: Wow, not hard to pillow-talk this kid down.
Zeiss Manifold: awww, they DO love each other
InkWeaver: no, zeiss, i find this disgusting.
Delcat: Those are some meaty SNIFFs there. He must have phlegm like Hubba Bubba.
InkWeaver: Seriously, this kid needs to stop punching his mom in the face, those're some serious looking bruises she has.

Quote :

Page 103

Delcat: Prepare for trouble!
Zeiss Manifold: And make it...double!
Delcat: And make that double!
InkWeaver: TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM MALE-IZATION
Delcat: TO START A BRAND-NEW FEMBOY NATION
Zeiss Manifold: TO DENOUNCE THE EVILS OF BALLS AND DONGS
Zeiss Manifold: TO EXTEND OUR REACH LIKE A PAIR OF TONGS
InkWeaver: SOME BITCH
Delcat: SOME OTHER BITCH
Delcat: TEAM FEMBOY, JERK OFF AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT!
InkWeaver: SURRENDER NOW AND PREPARE TO FUCK!
Zeiss Manifold: Spllllllort, that's right!

Quote :

Page 104

Delcat: So basically these are the chicks that LoveShy is railing against.
Zeiss Manifold: I'd want to show this to them, actually. "Alpha Femboys" must be their version of a logic bomb.
InkWeaver: Are they babbling without making any sense here or is it just me?
Zeiss Manifold: THE HAND OF NYAR STARTS MOVING FASTER
Delcat: I dunno, man, I'm stuck on "darker pedophiliac tendencies". DarkER. Pedophiliac. TENDENCIES. ...I don't even know where to START.
Zeiss Manifold: "All he needs to know are my precious bodily fluids!"

Quote :

Page 105

Zeiss Manifold: No wonder Dani died, they injected his balls with saline.
Zeiss Manifold: and that tape is STILL huge
InkWeaver: Look at those tentacles coming out of their mouths
InkWeaver: WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK
Zeiss Manifold: I think they blew the budget for this thing all on eyeshadow.
InkWeaver: That's not eyeshadow, that's punch-bruises

Quote :

Page 106

Zeiss Manifold: sweet little fuck puppy
Delcat: oh God her eyes are actually melting into her uke blush
Delcat: SHE HAS THE HUNTER STRAIN OF THE GREEN FLU
Zeiss Manifold: It looks like something took a smoldering iron to that cock. Ow.
Zeiss Manifold: I for one would not like to go to a fem park
Delcat: So why don't any of the other boys notice this happening? Do they have specific areas for this?
InkWeaver: BUT ZEISS THERE ARE SPECIAL AREAS SO THEY CAN RAPE YOU
InkWeaver: I mean, give you pleasure
Delcat: The White Zone is for the fluffing and unfluffing of femboys only.
Zeiss Manifold: It's bad enough seeing litter and clothes and old tires and fridges and shit in the woods, let alone mass splorting
InkWeaver: what if they found your treehouse zeiss
InkWeaver: WHAT IF THEY FOUND YOUR TREEHOUSE
Delcat: DON'T EVEN JOKE ABOUT THAT MAN DON'T EVEN JOKE
Delcat: Although I don't know how you'd climb a treehouse with a boner like that.
Delcat: Major bark burn on the dick, that way.
InkWeaver: I think you use the dick TO climb the tree, actually.
Delcat: Bark burn and SPLINTERS, then.
Zeiss Manifold:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Quote :

Page 107

InkWeaver: that image is truly heartbreaking in its sadness, Zeiss.
Delcat: Which, the cap or this insanity?
InkWeaver: the cap. No, this is just insane.
Zeiss Manifold: I wish I had a cap for "Ants got into everyone", though
Zeiss Manifold: I mean damn
Zeiss Manifold: this really isn't a utopia in the strictest sense now, is it
Zeiss Manifold: SSSLOBBER!
InkWeaver: Those tongues look like tumors.
InkWeaver: Or tiny wrinkly brains, touching each other.
Delcat: Why would ants even...oh yeah, they're all doped up to smell like sugar.
Delcat: ...oh my God THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA IN RETROSPECT
Delcat: THEIR PUSSIES ATTRACT WASPS
InkWeaver: The femians don't seem that smart, to me. I think they probably sat on the anthills with their HONEY VAGINAS
Delcat: ow ow OW GOOD GOD INKY
Delcat: ISN'T THIS BAD ENOUGH
Zeiss Manifold: Panel 5: ARGH THE ANTS TOOK HER EYE
Delcat: I think I'm gonna lift that last line, but for totally inappropriate things. "In love, lust, and spirit I order this pizza!"
InkWeaver: "In love, lust, and spirit I brush my teeth!"
Zeiss Manifold: "In love, lust, and spirit I microwave this coffee!"
Zeiss Manifold: I think we can call it a wrap for today after this page
Zeiss Manifold: IIRC, the rest of the book is the fallout resulting from one of the fems taping Xena over his orgy tape.
InkWeaver: man they would LOVE Xena
InkWeaver: soooooo many gay overtones. Did I tell you all that she used to be like my IDOL when I was around twelve years old?
Zeiss Manifold: I'm imagining the Femboy School theme and the Xena theme are the same really
Zeiss Manifold: SPLORT SPLORT SPLORT SPLORT SPLORT SPLORT FEMBOY SCHOOL
Zeiss Manifold: SPLORT SPLORT SPLORT SPLORT SPLORT SPLORT QUEEF

Zeiss, I am utterly shocked. Your Anime of Many Things has fallen short of a screencap.

Admittedly, it's a bizarre one, but you've surprised me before.

Jesus God. I can't believe I read all that.

The word "splort" will haunt me forevermore.

Uhh, I think you missed a couple of pages after page 106.

page 106b

and

page 106c

Hope I did this right. Just want to make sure you snark the complete set. I'm enjoying this.

myeerah wrote:

Zeiss, I am utterly shocked. Your Anime of Many Things has fallen short of a screencap.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

In regards to this manga? Never.

zootie wrote:

(missing pages)

Hmm. "Page 106b" is labeled as "Page 108" in my copy, and I can't seem to find "Page 106c" at all. Where did you get your version?

It's been a while and one hard drive crash ago so I've lost track. Sorry. I just archived it and didn't even think about it. I admit I like the porn aspect (my bad) but the weirdly self-consistent rad feminist utopianism is kinda intriguing. Hellstrom's Hive as imagined by Shulamith Firestone or Mizora for Mary Kaye Letourneau. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Nyar did more than this one by the way. Femschool

I shut up now.

I... my eyes, it burns, it all burns... -crawls into a corner and rocks back and forth whispering 'the madness, the madness!'-

zootie wrote:

the weirdly self-consistent rad feminist utopianism is kinda intriguing.

I agree, but I continually find myself going "This person has a BRAIN. WHY are they using it for THIS?"

Incidentally, do we have any knowledge of Nyar's gender?

zootie wrote:

Nyar did more than this one by the way. Femschool

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I don't know whether to thank you or hate you for finding this.

ETA:

Vespers wrote:

Incidentally, do we have any knowledge of Nyar's gender?

I'm betting my money nyar's a dude. I can't seem to find the link I was alluding to in the OP, but there is this, which provides a better insight into the character we're dealing with. And he does mention "Hellstrom's Hive", so good call there zootie.

The only other link Google-Fu reveals is something on notfourchan, and I don't feel like checking that out right now.

Zeiss Manifold wrote:

Vespers wrote:

Incidentally, do we have any knowledge of Nyar's gender?

I'm betting my money nyar's a dude.

I concur--mainly because they keep making odd generalizations about women, and the manga you snarked focused intensely on the pleasure derived from subjugation rather than the society the "femins" were enjoying. Also, I'm hoping they're a dude (or want to assume the inferior role in that society they're creating), with their hangups.'

Oh, and Delcat, I must confess your choice of reaction image confuses my newbish brain.

Quote :

Page 106b

Zeiss Manifold: GRAB
Zeiss Manifold: Being a femboy involves employing vast amounts of onamatopeia, I guess.
Delcat: "bubbling river of warm sex slime"
Delcat: Well, that appetite didn't last long.
Delcat: Why is it bubbling? WHY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IS IT BUBBLING?!
Zeiss Manifold: Radioactivity.
Delcat: *hoork*
Zeiss Manifold: Remember, nuclear war backstory?
Zeiss Manifold: SOMETHING's gotta mutate.
Delcat: *HOORK*
Zeiss Manifold: ...How would sneezing in one's vagina "feel"? I hesitate to ask.
Delcat: Is this what they mean by the tail WAG!ging the hound?
Delcat: *HOORK*
Zeiss Manifold: How it feels, Del, not sounds.
Delcat: STOP IT ZEISS I'M STARTING TO BRING UP BLOOD

Quote :

Page 106c

Delcat: So is this what guys really think women talk like? Ever?
Zeiss Manifold: This is a fucking complicated orgy.
Zeiss Manifold: The way they're going, I'll expect they'll bring out the "Lateral Thinking Puzzles" books in between fisting sessions.
Delcat: Meh, she looks more like an Art Deco Mother Mistress to me.
Zeiss Manifold: She's got a retro thing going on, I like that.
Delcat: What happens if they can't remember all this fruity bullshit? Do they have to wait until they get it right to fuck? God, this is the most boring, pointless D/s stipulation I've ever seen. It's like if Sues were dominatrixes.
Zeiss Manifold: It's the new Fem way. Dominance through boredom.
Zeiss Manifold: Also, mystery pelvic crease.
Delcat: "Repeat Chapter 19 of Serena Fuzzlebutt Goes to Hogwarts in entirety or you are going back in the cage, piggy!"
Delcat: You'd think that if they were REALLY feminists, this horrible body-sculpting would be the first thing to go.
Zeiss Manifold: That's what gets me. You run the damn place, you don't have to let the media tell you you have to taste like cucumbers anymore!
Delcat: Like, I'm not saying that feminists can't go for the standard ideal if they want, but you'd think they'd reshape it toward a more reasonable body. Reduce those fucking backbreakers to a comfortable C.
Delcat: And...man, I don't even want to KNOW what they did to themselves to get those insane lower torsos, I just DON'T. Please tell me it
Delcat: 's just the wasp DNA.

The “Ants” page comes after this, and then:

Quote :

Page 109

Zeiss Manifold: oh crap onoface
Delcat: OH GOD THAT VAGINA I FORGOT ABOUT THAT VAGINA
Delcat: IT'S LIKE A DEFLATED CARNIVAL BALLOON FROM THE MIDWAY OF BROKEN DREAMS
Zeiss Manifold: "Nooooooo, the prolapsing ritual happens after the breast milk slip-and-side! This orgy is ruined!
Delcat: SURPRISE! EVERYONE'S jailbait!
Delcat: Oh God, Zarla used to use "ta" instead of "to" as a kind of cute shorthand D: NOT A CONNECTION I NEEDED TO MAKE
Zeiss Manifold: Last panel: Once upon a time milk was flowing in streams, now it's only dripping in drips
Zeiss Manifold: Nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the tits.
Delcat: I swear, the more he draws them, the more they look like giant pus-leaking zits. It's disgusting.
Zeiss Manifold: Okay this whole breastmilk-filtration system thing makes no sense
Zeiss Manifold: Even Hathor would be horrified at this.
Delcat: I WOULD say "Hathor would be terrified at this because they're fucking a kid", but I wonder about her sometimes.
Zeiss Manifold: Not only can they change flavors within hours, they can seperate flavors by breast.
Zeiss Manifold: ...
Zeiss Manifold: WASP DNA
Delcat: I love the SPLAP SPLAP SPLAP tongue panel. I really didn't think that doujinshi thing could get sillier, but there you are
Delcat: "You still vanilla?" No. Nothing about this manga has ever been vanilla in the history of forever.
Zeiss Manifold: They did bring Grumble into it, though.
Delcat: RUN, GRUMBLES, RUN

Quote :

Page 110

Zeiss Manifold: some damn starchy labia there
Delcat: The vagina looks like the nose and mouth of a confused bear.
Zeiss Manifold: Three minutes into the orgy, and already this kids' balls have fallen off and a happy frog is growing out of his chest.
Delcat: God, Joni is turning into Astro Boy there, look at those disconnected joints.
Delcat: Fuck, I have an innuendo radar like the Rolls Royce of dong humor and I STILL can't figure out what she's on about in panel 5.
Delcat: Unless she's just that bored and is planning her future endeavors like some people plan their shopping lists during dull sex.
Zeiss Manifold: All that femweed goes straight to her breasts.
Delcat: Oh, hey, did I mention I found some femweed tea at an ethnic food shop out of town?
Zeiss Manifold: Did you try it?
Delcat: I tried to try it, but it burned straight through the cup. And the table. And the floor. And then the next day, I went into the basement and everything was covered in jizz and my Wii was crying.
Delcat: There's seven bucks I shan't see again in a hurry, is all I'm saying.
Delcat: I can't get over the horror of that swollen potato-vag making SIP SIP noises at me in Chiller. I just...I just can't.
Zeiss Manifold: I've heard that its effects can persist later on if you breathe the fumes, though. Probably hearsay, but sometimes things can |///-_^__\_|//---|__|_|_|/-/-/-/^^.
Delcat: Zeiss! Zeiss, you're doing it again! Quickly, the emergency androgen store!
Zeiss Manifold: Get some Jello, too. But not the "SPOIT" kind, that stuff ain't right
Zeiss Manifold: /_\-\-\-^^^^!!!

Quote :

\_^\ 111

Delcat: OH GOD
Delcat: oh God I seriously mis-parsed that first panel with the uke blushes as their eyes and it's HORRIBLE
Delcat: It's like an illustration from Scary Stories to Wank to In the Dark.
Zeiss Manifold: \-[///__\\\\-|-|-\-\-\--^^^ and he swore that it was all out but...Hey Delly, you okay?
Delcat: Zeiss, we are taking you to Wal-Mart and getting some manweed into you the moment we're done here.
Delcat: I wish Panel 3 just said "BUTTS" in the dialogue box. It'd make more sense than anything else we've read so far.
Zeiss Manifold: So their milk can talk too.
Zeiss Manifold: ...I'm starting to think that this whole "Wasp DNA" thing might be a tad scientifically innacurate.
Delcat: I bet it pulls the "GOT MILK HURR HURR" thing all the fucking time.
Delcat: I'm mentally replacing every instance of "DNA" with "LSD" and it makes a hell of a lot of sense, I must say.
Zeiss Manifold: Even the noisiest sex is quieter than this.
Zeiss Manifold: I thought they used "MILF!" as a sound effect at first glance.
Delcat: My God, that would be a perfect Gonterman sound effect. MILF! MILF!
Zeiss Manifold: Last panel: Femin erogenous zones turn into giant black blobs during arousal.
Delcat: It's necrotizing, is all. Fucking around with your breast milk with untested drugs? Actually not that great an idea.

Quote :

Page 112

Zeiss Manifold: SLITCHA-SLORP
Zeiss Manifold: SLITHER-SLOPP!
Zeiss Manifold: SLOSY-SPLUSH!
Zeiss Manifold: we're in a fucking beatrix potter book now
Zeiss Manifold: How do you get a PHD in "Manual Pleasure", anyway? Does typing up the paper serve as a finger excercise or something?
Zeiss Manifold: ...I don't know how one writes the dissertation for their "Oral Pleasure" degree, then.
Delcat: No, that's actually a typo. They got a PhD in "Manuel Pleasure", which you get by pleasuring a dude named "Manuel". Two units, M/W/F.
Zeiss Manifold: "RIP MY CUNT OPEN!"
Zeiss Manifold: Even Joni is backing the hell off from this shit.

Quote :

Page 113

Zeiss Manifold: There is a dry one that's tryin' to be a wet one that's angry at the long one who's livin' with the stumpy one
Zeiss Manifold: Different clits for different chicks
Zeiss Manifold: And so on and so on and splorty splorty splorty
Delcat: Wait. How the hell did they deal with this fuckery in the original manga?
Delcat: I mean, it's inexplicable and scary enough with DNA LSD to explain it. How the HELL did they attempt to pull this one off?
Delcat: Do they just directly inject collagen into all of their erogenous zones? It would explain why they're so puffy and sloppy and terrifying.
Zeiss Manifold:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Zeiss Manifold: that's all i got
Delcat: DON'T GET COCKY ABOUT YOUR COCK-Y-NESS
Delcat: okay seriously I have no idea what they're talking about and don't care so I'm filling in all their dialogue with the noises the Martians from Sesame Street make
Delcat: YIP YIP YIP YIP YIP YIP YIP
Delcat: UH-HUH UH-HUH
Delcat: MMMM NOPE
Delcat: YIP YIP YIP

Quote :

Page 114

Zeiss Manifold: I bet the milk is just babbling on at this point. "Hey, did I ever tell you Fems about the time I stepped on a birthday cake?"
Delcat: So hatesex and Foe Yay/Ho Yay are now genetic. I guess the fanbrats finally have an excuse.
Delcat: Panel 3: I see it, I see the vase!
Zeiss Manifold: It's so not a vase! It's two different, uh, craters!
Zeiss Manifold: ...I think. Mesas? Some kind of rock formation.
Delcat: Panel 5: "We need somebody to fill in the rest of the anatomy while the mangaka gets his penile fracture treated. Is that Liefeld guy available?"
Zeiss Manifold: So they fuck when they get angry but they don't need to do that because they're all peaceful and stuff.
Delcat: Something like that? I dunno, I think their moods are just one big format tree where every emotion boils down to "IF: feeling THEN: fuck"
Delcat: "Look at what you did all over the manga walls! Someone has lost crayon priveleges, little mister!"
Zeiss Manifold: ....Aaaand we've headed straight into "Mrs. Bowers' fifth-grade Mexican fiesta party invitation card" font.
Delcat: At this point, Joni has freed himself from his bonds and is making a run for the border.
Zeiss Manifold: ARRIBA!
Delcat: MANTEQUILLA!
Zeiss Manifold: VAGINA!

Quote :

Page 115

Zeiss Manifold: Fuck, the manga's filking for us now.
Delcat: Panel 3: And now for Mealworm Talk, with Jimmy Grub and Cecelia Larva.
Zeiss Manifold: so how's that cowgirl fetish workin' out for ya
Delcat: man this is like the opposite of sexy milking
Delcat: like all of the essential elements are there but they're just being presented totally wrong
Delcat: And I don't care if you leave that in the snark, I am unashamed of my horrible deviances against my better judgement
Delcat: AT LEAST THEY'RE NOT RELATED TO THIS CRAP
Zeiss Manifold: "ORGASMS INSURE WE GET IT ALL!"
Zeiss Manifold: We've officially reached the chorus of the Villain Song in the Femboy School Rock Opera
Delcat: The dildos in the cunt go fuck fuck fuck, fuck fuck fuck, fuck fuck fuck!
Delcat: The dildos in the cunt go fuck fuck fuck, all through your mom!
Zeiss Manifold: Badly-drawn vaginas, I know, I knowwww, they're really serious!
Delcat: Protein amplifier what even YOU'RE JUST SAYING WORDS NOW
Zeiss Manifold: Why did they keep the boys around to begin with? They can't breed, aren't necessary for these people's sexual fulfillment and they get into all the booze.
Zeiss Manifold: Really, they should just be sentinent milk jugs the way this is going.
Delcat: Yeah, they should just modify everyone into futas and have done with it.
Delcat: ...WAIT A SECOND!
Delcat: OH MY GOD, ZEISS, THIS IS ALL ONO'S DOING!
Zeiss Manifold:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Zeiss Manifold: DAMN YOU ONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Zeiss Manifold: And since we're not going to see a milking station in all likelihood and nobody is going to remember this exchange, which is completely bizarre even in the context of this manga...
Zeiss Manifold: Del?
Delcat: Yes?
Delcat: mmmmmmmBIG-TIT ALLIGATOR MOMENT
Zeiss Manifold: THANK YOU FOLKS

Delcat wrote:

The dildos in the cunts go fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck fuck fuck, fuck fuck fuck!
The dildos in the cunts go fuck, fuck, fuck, all through your mom!

I think I just hurt myself laughing. Oop, yeah, those're my lungs aching.

Vespers wrote:

Oh, and Delcat, I must confess your choice of reaction image confuses my newbish brain.

Don't worry, you didn't miss anything here, just in 8-Bit Theatre :B

Zeiss Manifold wrote:

And since we're not going to see a milking station in all likelihood and nobody is going to remember this exchange, which is completely bizarre even in the context of this manga...

Lest anyone be disappointed maybe it looks like this. Just a thought. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

milking station?

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Delcat: You know, sometimes it feels like we're been snarking this thing for years.
Delcat: Is...is this forever?
Zeiss Manifold: We're...we're more than halfway done. HANG IN THERE
Delcat: ~THE NEVERENDING STO-ORYYYY

Quote :

Page 116

Delcat: Shouldn't "extra credit" be at the end of this shitstorm?
Zeiss Manifold: Just as long as the rub-curdled-milk-all-over-yourself assignment isn't part of the main curriculum and is strictly optional, I don't see a problem with it.
Zeiss Manifold: So's the "let stick insects climb on your junk" project, for the record.
Delcat: Those poor stick insects :<
Zeiss Manifold: Nah, they get a resting place and some camoflague out of this, they're all set.
Delcat: Our jizz club has the same rights as any other club!
Zeiss Manifold: BUTTPLUGS NOT BULLETS
Delcat: BULLETS NOT BULLETS
Delcat: I mean...you know, the vibrating ones, as opposed to...the kind that...kill people...and...oh, fuck it
Delcat: JOKE ABORTED NEXT PAGE
Zeiss Manifold:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Delcat: dang Zeiss we have literally four abortion threads going right now and you use that one on me? harsh, dude.
Delcat: THEN LAUNCH THE SPACE TORPEDOES OR SOMETHING
Zeiss Manifold: FIRE NIPPLES
Delcat: SPUNG

Quote :

Page 117

Delcat: I tell you, having the Reading Rainbow theme stuck in my head just makes it all worse.
Zeiss Manifold: Okay, *now* we can start feeling sorry for the stick insects.
Delcat: oh man there ain't nothin' sexy about any body part being stuck on an electric range which is all I'm gettin' from this dialogue
Delcat: Stuff your tits in a waffle iron on your own time, girls, we have delicate readers
Delcat: speaking of which I see you're enjoying your rectal prolapse in the last two panels
Delcat: Is there a reason this kid has had a uniball for the entire fucking manga? Has one just not dropped yet or something?
Zeiss Manifold: I know, you'd think the artist would have *some* idea of how boyparts work. His dong is just a joystick blindly stuck into the donut hole that is his junk.
Zeiss Manifold: "Toasting your twat! Cooking your clit!"
Delcat: And it's not like the girlparts are any better. What gender IS the artist?
Delcat: ughhhhh STOP IT *crosses legs*
Zeiss Manifold: Flambe-ing her fallopian tubes? Lacquering her labia?
Delcat: Hors-dourves-ing her ovaries?
Zeiss Manifold: It's a slant alliteration, but I'll allow it.
Delcat: hey man I'm a lover not a baker

Quote :

Page 118

Delcat: Wasn't this a scene from the end of Society?
Zeiss Manifold: why are they using perfectly good carrots for this anyway
Delcat: Man, that's a terrible idea, it turns your ladybits orange.
Delcat: ...Or So I Heard.
Delcat: They look more like engorged mealworms to me in the inexplicable inside shot. Speaking of which, where the fuck are her organs? Don't tell me they genetically bred out anything that they couldn't get milk out of or sodomize.
Zeiss Manifold: Why *do* they have "milking stations" in the first place again? I'm pretty sure wasps are lactose intolerant.
Delcat: Panel 2: And thus Chris-Chan's duck is born.
Zeiss Manifold: TEE HEE HEE HEE
Zeiss Manifold: ...UM?
Delcat: Tee hee! Oh, tee hee hee!
Zeiss Manifold: TEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE *HEE*

Quote :

Page 119

Delcat: ow ow nipple chewing ow ow OW
Zeiss Manifold: HERE COMES THE TITPLANE ZOOM ZOOM
Delcat: What DID he say? I'm guessing something along the lines of OH GOD WHY IS IT WAGGING ALL OVER THE PLACE LIKE THAT THAT HURTS
Zeiss Manifold: His dong doesn't even look attached. It's like someone pegged him with a strap-on and ended up puncturing his plexus.
Delcat: Yeah, if the balls were the same way I'd cry P.L. Nunn. Shame we already used up our store of detachable penis jokes.
Delcat: I dunno, I think being able to jizz like that without any contact whatsoever shows a great amount of self-control, just of a different kind.
Delcat: Or is that just how cocks work?
Delcat: Are you guys, like, walking cannons?
Delcat: Do you see an erect nipple on the street and go off like a Roman candle?
Zeiss Manifold: Yep. And the sun goes out for some reason too.
Zeiss Manifold: "He needs to learn self-control!" You try expelling spoiled milk any other way when you're gagged, lady.
Zeiss Manifold: Again, why does the "hive" need milk when the wasp women can just make their own? Is it available in 12 collectable flavors or something?
Delcat: And with their bullshit science it multiples by a jillion, so...I dunno, maybe they have hungry kittens ladies like kittens
Delcat: HEY ZEISS, SAY "SILK" TEN TIMES
Zeiss Manifold: Silk silk silk silk slik schlick DAMMIT
Delcat: Man, you even cut off the punchline there, good job
Delcat: TRY IT ON ME
Zeiss Manifold: ALRIGHT THEN FINISH YOUR JOKE
Delcat: SILK SILK SILK SILK SILK SILK SILK SILK SILK SILK
Zeiss Manifold: NOW WHAT DO COWS DRINK
Delcat: CUM
Delcat: DARN
Delcat: and for the readers who never went to grade school, the incorrect answer is "milk", the correct answer is "water"
Delcat: we'll be here all week
Zeiss Manifold: STAY TUNED FOR KNOCK-KNOCK JOKES ABOUT URETHRAL SOUNDING

Quote :

Page 120

Delcat: No really, how did they play this in the original manga? She can't just...grow a cock at random. It's illegal.
Zeiss Manifold: She didn't, she grew a CLITCOCK
Zeiss Manifold: Somewhere, Ono is banging his head against his desk for not thinking of this first.
Delcat: OH, IS IT POWERED BY HER MOOOOOONBLOOD
Delcat: I AM WOMBMOON, HEAR ME SPLORT
Zeiss Manifold: This is going to turn out to be a PSA on the dangers of femboy hazing, right? He looks like his brain is starting to swell from all the milk in the first panel.
Delcat: You ever drink warm milk too fast, man? He is gonna spew like Vesuvius in like fifteen seconds.
Delcat: Which frankly is nothing I ever wanted to see in a hentai. ...again.
Delcat: So...what is she, anyway? Like, a hermaphrodite, or a herm-by-the-hour, or a herm going incocknito? What is the terminology here?
Zeiss Manifold: She's a CLITCOCK TART
Delcat: Ooh, what flavor? Original or Extra-Slutty?
Zeiss Manifold: Extra-SPLORTY
Delcat: anatomy more or less impossible in panel 4, seriously how is her stomach going like that
Zeiss Manifold: They plump when you cook 'em!

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Zeiss Manifold: THE POWER, THE PLEASURE, THE PERVERSITY!
Zeiss Manifold: SEE THE HENTAI REWRITE THAT SWEPT THE 1942 ACADEMY AWARDS
Delcat: Panel 3 looks like an eyeless man vomiting a dryer hose.
Zeiss Manifold: Well, you did warn him about the milk.
Zeiss Manifold: The first two panels are an elaborate game of "got your nose", I think.
Delcat: also didn't her pussy have hair two pages ago
Delcat: I am so confused
Delcat: and is that a chair or the monolith from 2001
Zeiss Manifold: WHINE
Delcat: I swear it should not be bending like that with nothing touching it, something is seriously wrong with that kid
Delcat: I mean, besides the emotional trauma
Delcat: And I cannot unsee these ladies as having torso-faces with boobs for eyes and a vagina for a bear-nose-and-mouth
Zeiss Manifold: LOOSE DICKS SINK SHIPS

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Zeiss Manifold: We now transfer narrating duties to Groundskeeper Willie.
Delcat: Man, Ebenezer and SPLLOOCH isn't nearly as good a webcomic about silly kitties.
Delcat: Yeah, like this kid knows his multiplication tables when you're CONSTANTLY PULLING HIM OUT OF CLASS TO FUCK HIM
Zeiss Manifold: They probably don't even LEARN math, all their classes are about cock rings or shit.
Delcat: Speaking of which, Iiiiiii really don't think cockrings are supposed to be that tight. The idea is to constrict blood flow, not cut it off entirely. At this rate it really WILL turn black and fall off.
Delcat: Where did she even pull that from, her cooch?
Delcat: BAD FEMBOY! NO! BAD, BAD FEMBOY!
Delcat: And then she smacks him on the balls with a rolled-up magazine.
Zeiss Manifold: Generally, this is a fucking bad idea. Tying shit around the dong doesn't magically stop orgasms, it redirects semen into the bladder and other places and causes all sorts of problems. But I don't know, WASP DNA .
Zeiss Manifold: Not to mention rope burns.
Delcat: Also, what good would it actually do to train him not to jizz? Shouldn't they be applying some kind of sex therapy, maybe cognitive behavioral thera--
Delcat: Oh, I get it! They saw "CBT" and thought "cock/ball torture" instead of "cognitive behavioral therapy"!
Delcat: It all makes sense now!
Zeiss Manifold: FEMBOY NEEDS THERAPY
Zeiss Manifold: Purely hyperorgasmic!
Zeiss Manifold: FEMBOY NEEDS THERAPY
Delcat: I'm going to kill you.
Zeiss Manifold: FEMBOY NEEDS THERAPY
Delcat: No, really, Zeiss, I'm going to kill you.
Zeiss Manifold: Cram it Delcat, let's have a spat! Now when I count three-
Zeiss Manifold: F-F-F-F-F-F-F-FEMBOY NEEDS THERAPY
Delcat: *STAB*
Zeiss Manifold: ...I am white as a sheep!
Zeiss Manifold: (And she also packed false cocks)

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Delcat: "NO SERIOUSLY IT HURTS LIKE TISSUE DEATH"
Zeiss Manifold: How the Loveshy crowd thinks feminism works, film at 11.
Delcat: Hey, they found his other ball!
Zeiss Manifold: "You are magic, aren’t you ballsack!”
Zeiss Manifold: *circus music*
Zeiss Manifold: Seriously, it's either Trumpy or some kind of cuttlefish he's got implanted in there.
Delcat: Oooh, this potato has big boobs!
Delcat: Ow that's my cock
Zeiss Manifold: CLOSE YOUR EYES AND THINK OF FEMWEED
Delcat: "Let's recharge him!" What, do guys have battery packs in their asses now?
Delcat: I thought they were in the sack, and that's why you temporarily shut down when we kick you there.
Zeiss Manifold: Hey, cuttlefishes need room.
Zeiss Manifold: It's the big orgy scene! We're using every font in the pack!
Delcat: You mean they have more than Chiller?
Zeiss Manifold: Seriously that first panel is terrifying
Zeiss Manifold: "They've splorted her! And then they're going to splort me! OH MY GAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWD!"
Delcat: ...OH MY GOD.
Delcat: ZEISS.
Delcat: JONI IS THE KID FROM POD PEOPLE.
Delcat: THIS IS WHERE HE ENDED UP.
Zeiss Manifold:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Zeiss Manifold: OH GOD I CAN HEAR HIM HAVING THE SAME VOICE AND EVERYTHING
Delcat: HE WENT OUT ONE DAY TO FIND SPECIMENS AND BECAME THE SPECIMEN HIMSELF

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Delcat: Pleasure poem? Well, I'll give it a shot...
Delcat: Roses are red
And so is your hole
Look out baby,
Here comes my pole
Zeiss Manifold: WITH A PLEASURE POEM WE PINCH THE NIPPLE HERE
Zeiss Manifold: STEADY AS SHE GOES WE'RE SPLUTTING OVER TROUT
Zeiss Manifold: MASTURBATING FEMBOYS AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT
Zeiss Manifold: ALL I WANT TO FEEL NOW IS THE MILK IN MY EYES
Zeiss Manifold: SACK OF DILDOS IN MY POCKET
Delcat: MY MOMMY'S READY TO HO
Zeiss Manifold: IDIOT REWRITE NOW
Zeiss Manifold: HIDEOUS REWRITE NOW
Delcat: mrmrrma write nmm
Delcat: nrrmma hmm
Delcat: BEES ON FEMWEED
Zeiss Manifold: SPLORTING RUBBER COCKS
Delcat: Was I a little slow on the last verse, guys?
Zeiss Manifold: IT STINKS

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Delcat: fucking hell, this is supposed to be sexy? The kid is clearly BSOD'ing in abject terror for his naughty bits.
Delcat: IF COCKS ARE BLEEDING, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG
Zeiss Manifold: You know, why do these people even bother with sex if they have "pleasure juice"?
Delcat: Little boy bitch, come blow your load
The dick's in the pussy, the tongue in the choad
Delcat: Where is the boy who gets fucked in the ass?
Under the dungeon, high on fem grass
Delcat: Who will wake him?
Oh no, not you
For if the FBI finds out
They'll surely sue
Delcat: *bows*
Zeiss Manifold: Thank you for that, Del.
Delcat: Well, you may be the undisputed king of filk, but I did take a semester's worth of naughty nursery tunes.
Delcat: Two units, M/W.
Zeiss Manifold: ..."Wormed into me"?
Delcat: yeah I was trying to ignore that thanks so much for making that impossible
Delcat: I told you those vibes looked like mealworms. Maybe they're those parasite fetishists from /d/.
Zeiss Manifold: we can't ignore it she's goddamn SHOUTING it
Zeiss Manifold: we're in capslock_fem all of a sudden
Delcat: "I used his head like a saddle galloping to paradise" is officially my new favorite horrible sex metaphor.
Zeiss Manifold: Like, a saddle not attached to anything, just galloping along the prarie by its lonesome?
Delcat: wait the rope is gone in two panels here
Delcat: Is it too much to ask for to have continuity in this shit?
Delcat: ...OH MY GOD I FINALLY PARSED WHAT THE SECOND-TO-LAST PANEL IS THAT'S HORRIBLE MY DICK HURTS AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE ONE
Delcat: NO WONDER HIS EYES ARE MELTING IN AGONY
Zeiss Manifold: pardon me for a second
Zeiss Manifold:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Zeiss Manifold: okay good i needed that
Delcat: Zeiss suck those brain-chunks back in I AM NOT DOING THIS ALONE
Delcat: You okay, man? Your eyes are blinking independently of each other.
Zeiss Manifold: Sorry, I just can't look at that without thinking BAY-BEE SNA~KES LATE AT NIGHT IS WHEN THEY COME OUT
Delcat: WE CAN DO THIS MAN WE CAN DO THIS TOGETHER BUT YOU GOTTA HANG ON
Zeiss Manifold: THEY LIVE IN A HOLE HOLE A HOLE HOLE HOLE (TINY HOLE)
Zeiss Manifold: THAT IS USUALLY EMPTY
Zeiss Manifold: (USUALLY EMPTY tiny too)

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Zeiss Manifold: WE'VE SECRETLY REPLACED THEIR DIALOGUE WITH A BAD ARTHUR C. CLARKE NOVEL, LET'S SEE IF ANYONE NOTICES
Delcat: Uh okay yeah, I'll admit that maybe sometimes cock bleeding MAY be okay if you're careful in BDSM, but BROKEN RIBS ARE THE SIGN YOU'RE REALLY DOING IT WRONG
Delcat: seriously how is this a sexy story, this would scare the shit out of me if someone who had me tied up related it
Zeiss Manifold: Second panel: ballsack in the void
Delcat: Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made. Stick your finger in the hole and THIS MANGA FUCKING SUCKS WHY ISN'T IT OVER YET GOD
Delcat: but seriously that's what it looks like
Delcat: That is a woman expecting a Tootsie Roll, and a woman about to be disappointed.
Delcat: As a side note, what the hell is with the scat jump rope rhymes, I never got that as a kid.
Zeiss Manifold: Getcha prostate samples, free to try, $5 for a pound.
Zeiss Manifold: I have written RESEARCH PAPERS less heavily footnoted than this good god
Zeiss Manifold: THERE IS A TIME FOR WORLDBUILDING AND THIS IS NOT IT
Delcat: Hey, imagine if they were hilarious footnotes, like in Discworld! Would that make this better?
Delcat: ...no?
Zeiss Manifold: DON'T BRING THE LUGGAGE INTO THIS IT WAS NOT MEANT TO BE A LUBE RESERVOIR

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Delcat: I dunno, they're REALLY gonna need someone to do laundry soon.
Delcat: DROOL! SLOBBER! GRUNT! You know, for all the Saint Bernard fetishists out there.
Zeiss Manifold: TROLLOP
Zeiss Manifold: yes he is certainly a clara bow on the wanton slattern-o-meter
Delcat: Are dicks supposed to bend at a ninety-degree angle?
Delcat: And where does that ball keep disappearing to and reappearing from?
Zeiss Manifold: They'll bring in one of those newfangled Ford-assembled "dill-does" and give him a cherry phosphate enema next, I'll bet.
Zeiss Manifold: And what is the deal with the last panel, why is everyone just lying waists through the floSPLOOSH SPLOOSH SPLOOSH SPLOOSH SPLOOSH SPLOOSH SPLOOSH
Delcat: I hope they have a femin hired to occasionally come in and just throw a bucket of water over them, this is slimier than a Nickolodeon game show.
Delcat: Zeiss? Are you okay? Oh God, please tell me these SFX aren't contagiSPLOOSH SPLOOSH SPLOOSH SPLOOSH SPLOOSH SPLOOSH SPLOOSH SPLOOSH SPLOOSH SPLOOSH
Zeiss Manifold: SPLOOSH SPLOOSH SPLOOSH SPLOOSH SPLOOSH !
Delcat: SPLOOSH SPLOOSH SPLOOSH SPLOOSH SPLORT?
Zeiss Manifold: CLITCOCK

Delcat wrote:

oh fuck that is fucking fucked man what is this shit

My sentiments exactly. Just the synopsis of that story is enough to creep me out. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]