Brokencyde: The Musical Endurance Test

Mr. Comic Book wrote:

Deutschtard wrote:

Except, unfortunately, I could probably find about fifty people who listen to them by going to the school my mother teaches at and looking for half an hour. It all depends on who they're marketing it towards, and what I see is kids who want to listen to shit that makes them feel 'edgy', 'hardcore' and 'rebellious'....or something like that. I'm sure plenty of people who lack taste in music absolutely LOOOOVE them. There were TONS of people into Hollywood Undead at that festival, I still don't understand why.

Judging from the comments on Youtube, Brokencyde's target audience is horny teenage girls. You know, the tried and true boy band demographic that gets vicious if you dare to say anything critical about their lust objects. That more than explains their popularity.

Yep. High Schoolers. I just can't understand why they would like this or Hollywood Undead. Do they not LISTEN to the lyrics? Apparently not. Even if they can sing along, they don't get what the bands are actually saying.... -facepalm-

Well, look on the bright side. When these guys finally shuffle off the pop culture mortal coil, VH1's going to have a grand old time making fun of them on Where Are They Now? And the mockery will be deliciously vicious.

ooooooooooh yes.

"The pig, what were they thinking? Let's hear from the man who spent two years under that disgusting costume, now."

BAHAHAHAHAHA what are you all bitching about, those first two videos are fucking hilarious!!! They're like music industry trolls. LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Some of the funnier comments on this from The Spoony Experiment:

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For a few times, I admit that the dreaded lull of boredom sat in, but no sooner than I thought this, one of these androgynous date rapists would let loose what I assume they think is a badass growl, and I would start chuckling like a tickled hyena.

By the way, that noise they were making? When I worked at a wildlife rehab center, we had a great horned owl with one wing that couldn’t be released into the wild. Each and every day, this owl, like all owls, would regurgitate a pellet of compacted hair, bone, and other indigestible parts of the rats we fed it. That owl has passed on, but his memory lives on in this video, as they have managed to faithfully reproduce the sound of his daily barf.

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I’m a lesbian so i’m not one to make gay jokes. but both the guys singing didn’t seem to like to get close to the girls they were dancing with. and the liar part where they strangle the girl hints to some issues with the women folk. i watched it all the way through. i wish i hadn’t.

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Btw, if a guy held me by the neck and screamed into my ear, it would result in a massive loss of his teeth.

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If these guys work hard for years and educate themselves, they may one day be retarded.

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I would say that the screaming dude should work on his technique and he might be able to join a metal band, but he’s way to much of a pussy.

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I watched the whole thing. I have lost what little faith in humanity I had left. Excuse me while I go kill myself. Or go on a genocidal rampage. Possibly both.

The hate is very, very thick here. And it's yielding some real hilarity.

EDIT: Believe it or not, these guys do get worse:

I think my favorite response is contained within this paragraph, made by none other than the god, Warren Ellis:

Despite early commercial success, favorable critical reviews have been elusive. Metal Edge Magazine has called Brokencyde "fucking horrendous." "Thrash Magazine" has called them "a mockery to the world of music." British Commentator Warren Ellis calls Brokencyde's "Freaxxx" music video "a near-perfect snapshot of everything that's shit about this point in the culture." August Brown of the Los Angeles Times writes, "The 'Albucrazy'-based band has done for Myspace emo what some think Soulja Boy did for hip-hop: turn their career into a kind of macro-performance art that exists so far beyond the tropes of irony and sincerity that to ask 'are they kidding?' is like trying to peel an onion to get to a perceived central core that, in the end, does not exist and renders all attempts to reassemble the pieces futile.
August Brown of the Los Angeles Times writes, "The 'Albucrazy'-based band has done for MySpace emo what some think Soulja Boy did for hip-hop: turn their career into a kind of macro-performance art that exists so far beyond the tropes of irony and sincerity that to ask 'are they kidding?' is like trying to peel an onion to get to a perceived central core that, in the end, does not exist and renders all attempts to reassemble the pieces futile.

God help me, I love Warren Ellis.

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"fucking horrendus."

?!

I know, right? I'm so happy that I got to meet him at Comic-Con <3

AGH sorry, transcribing wikipedia and my fingers moved too fast >_>

I tagged them in the "Trying to hard thread".

Talentless and grating on the ears.

Things I love about these videos:

PIG MAN

PRODUCT PLACEMENT (the first video opens up with some - it just sets the tone perfectly)

THAT ONE GUY'S HAIR

THE FIRST VIDEO SOUNDS LIKE IT OPENS UP WITH "I WALKED INTO THE CLUB AND LOOKING AT A SEXY NOW." YOU KNOW THOSE ARE JUST AWESOME LYRICS.

WHEN THEY GRABBED THAT CHICK BY THE NECK AND STARTED SCREAMING "LIAR" AT HER AND SHE TOTALLY IGNORED THEM

THE WAY THAT THE LYRIC "LIAR" SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING FROM A TOTALLY DIFFERENT SONG

THE WAY IT'S OBVIOUSLY AUTO TUNED

THE WAY ONE GUY DOESN'T SING EVER HE JUST SCREAMS AT THE OTHER GUY

THE WAY THAT I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING ESPECIALLY WHEN MANPIG SHOWED UP

Verandering wrote:

BAHAHAHAHAHA what are you all bitching about, those first two videos are fucking hilarious!!! They're like music industry trolls. LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

At the very least, the songs they preform manage to get stuck in your head.

Something that just occurred to me about the first video...the lead singer talks about how the "shorties" "pulled their panties down and took their pants off." Um...unless this is a club of superheroes he's talking about, how the hell would these girls remove their underwear before their pants? Or were we not supposed to notice that?

... That first video looks like a bad high school project. You know, the kind you tape over lunch break with your friends and then put some "cool" effects on in whatever editing program your crappy school computers have.

Seriously. They're not even trying. Those poor boys have no idea what they're doing - neither when it comes to lyrics, "singing" or dancing (oops, I mean "bouncing on your heels while wagging your hands around") - and the girls just look like they're trying to bite back a laugh attack the whole way through.

No, I'm not even going to talk about the songs themselves, because holy shit. o.O

On Brokencyde: I've actually heard of these guys before (their name means Broke-Inside for all those who haven't got it yet), and I'm still not sure these guys aren't some massive joke. Seriously, that first music video was so lolzy it had to be a gag of some kind. My first comment upon having my Brokencyde "cherry" busted.
Myself: What? It was just beeps and screaming. It was like listening to a really angry person beat their GameBoy against the wall in anger because it's malfunctioning.
On Hollywood Undead: Insane Clown Posse + Slipknot = something slightly better than the former and slightly shittier than the latter.

*gently rocking back and forth*

I listened to both at the same time. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! They said I was crazy. I-I'll show them. I don't like the music, b-but I can DEFINITELY handle it! Kehahahahaha! I'm not insane at all, am I?!