"Innocence Lost: The Third View": Horrible, urple Draco/Harry fic. NWS

Urple, OOC, ridiculous, and featuring, of all things, DICK EYES, this fic could easily be called instead, "The Turd View".

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He was my lover of three years now and he was my everything, but yet I couldn’t seem to let go of my childish and naïve views about our world and my considered side of the world for Wizarding Britain. I really wanted to trust that he had my interests at heart after being together for so long with few problems, but I was really hesitant.

However, he finally persuaded me to take a closer look at the other side more thoroughly;

via attractively designed informational brochures, coupons, and care packets,

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and actually, I discovered I liked it a lot better than what Albus had been trying to preach into me over the course of our last years at Hogwarts before we both graduated.

Keep in mind, this is Harry Potter talking about Draco Malfoy. This isn't OOC at aaaalll, noooo....

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And so my mate and I finally took the mark. That was a week ago from today and now my lover was anxious to finish completing our mating bond.

Here. *holds out can* Krazy-glue your dicks together!

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Even though Harry was ready to fully complete it; was he ready for his glamour over his true form to completely shatter and fall for everyone wizard in Britain to see him without it.

And surprise surprise, he was really fuckin' ugly.

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For you see, Harry became a Dark Veela with a quarter of Incubus blood in his veins after his final inheritance at seventeen.

His Dark Veela grandmama fucked the entire band, I see.

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His lover and mate had been ecstatic to find out about this new change, as he was the first Light Veela in his family for over 200 years now and couldn’t wait to expand their family as both lines were nearly extinct now.

*Suffers whiplash from the prose style changing* Dammit, fic, that hurt!

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“Ready?” He purred softly as he nuzzled the left side of my face gently.
“I am as ready as I’ll ever be.” I purred contentedly back.

Harry and Draco have both turned into giant cats, I see. Watch out for the barbs on your dicks, boys -- ouch, too late, I see. *evil snicker*

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My mate then used his dominant and semi-superior strength

Semi-superior? That's a polite way of saying Draco wasted his membership to the gym...

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to flatten me to our bed as he playfully growled at me; daring me to fight back and assert myself. However, I was not going down without a fight either.

MORTAL KOMBAT!

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I growled just as playfully in the back of my throat and made him fight for the right to be my one and only mate; my dominant one.

Now they're dogs and are doing a mutual humping of each other's legs, complete with peeing on furniture and chewing things.

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If he proved to be too weak, I had the right to search for another if I had chosen to.

So much for true love and devotion and an unbreakable eternal magical bond that will bring them world peace, assbabies, an end to unsightly backne and flatulence, and give both Harry and Draco permanently hard boners.

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I now laid before in all of my semi-tanned and naked glory as a purebred Dark Veela with glowing emerald orbs rimmed with a red hint that was very desirous and lustful.

Also, complementary. Harry Potter will match the Christmas decorations, apparently.

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His eyes darkened in color with a heavy desired layered into them with an expression of need and want. Both of them were now very hard and straining down below with pre-cum coming out in copious amount for both of them.

...

Dick eyes.

DICK EYES.

DICK. EYES.

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His mate tried to start to prepare him with a lubricant, but harry just shook his head at him in declination. He needn’t have tried to prepare him with that substance as he soon learned, or else as a quarter incubi he would be too slick and he could possibly hurt him anyway. His mate didn’t want that at all.

Incubi have self-lubricating assholes?

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He then slammed into my channel hard and fast with a very steady and rhythmic hold on my body. I arched my back against his restraint; taking deeper into me and into pleasure than he ever thought was possible or imagined I could. The feeling was euphoric.

Whut? Also,

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“Hurry.” I moaned at him.

He complied almost instantaneously with my wish and he grinded his hips forcefully into my pelvis before he started the chanted vows to bind our souls together for as long as we should live.

So much for dumping him if he's not as 'dominant' as you hoped.

Spent 5 minutes making a picture, just because it's worth a thousand words:

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AW HELLS YEAH JIZZ VISION! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Malganis and Nihilist, if I had a coffee, it would be all over the screen now.

One of my pet peeves in Harry Potter fanfic is the introduction of original magic that has nothing in common with what's been established. Light and Dark veelas? That makes me reach for my knives.

Who started the "Draco/Lucius/Harry/other random male is a Veela and so he will inevitably be driven crazy by lust until he finds his mate" craze anyway?
And why is the mate usually male?

Also: that picture caused me to spray orange juice on my computer. Thanks a lot!

What's with the random POV changes?

Lembech wrote:

(yet another smiley)

Today is a GOOD day.

fishstickhater wrote:

Who started the "Draco/Lucius/Harry/other random male is a Veela and so he will inevitably be driven crazy by lust until he finds his mate" craze anyway?

Especially as Veelas don't work like that. If you really want to write a "mates" fic, why not invent a new species that Harry/Draco/Whoever can have the genes of and make it work how you want?
Oh, right, laziness.

Fairlight wrote:

fishstickhater wrote:

Who started the "Draco/Lucius/Harry/other random male is a Veela and so he will inevitably be driven crazy by lust until he finds his mate" craze anyway?

Especially as Veelas don't work like that. If you really want to write a "mates" fic, why not invent a new species that Harry/Draco/Whoever can have the genes of and make it work how you want?
Oh, right, laziness.

That and the fact your average Harry Potter fanfic writer wouldn't know an original idea if it jumped out of a dark alley and bit them in the ass.

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However, he finally persuaded me to take a closer look at the other side more thoroughly; and actually, I discovered I liked it a lot better than what Albus had been trying to preach into me over the course of our last years at Hogwarts before we both graduated.

After more research about the culture of the darker magic, I realized that yes he had been right and that I had well and truly manipulated by one man by the name of Albus Dumbledore. He had blinded me to the dark culture and the true ideals of the Light.

All this Light & Dark comparison reads a lot like a really bad Star Wars fic. Is this Harry Potter a distant relative of Anakin Skywalker?

Also, “dark culture”? Hanging Muggles upside down in the air is now a form of cultural expression? I'll take cheese, rudeness and berets any day, thank you!

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So, I told Tom that I would only ally with him as long as my surrogate godfather would come to no harm this time. He promised me this as long as I remained loyal.

I love it how he's on a first name basis with Voldemort. Oh wait, now that he's taken the mark, Voldmeort will be able to Crucio him to his heart's content! Guess you didn't read the fine print, eh Harry?

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Yes, I had decided to finally switch colors and change my side and standing in our war.
...
I switched my colors, but the one person I wanted to switch wouldn’t.

You know that war that's been tearing apart the Wizarding world? Actually, it's just like a giant game of Capture the flag.

Avari wrote:

You know that war that's been tearing apart the Wizarding world? Actually, it's just like a giant game of Capture the flag.

Actually, it reminded me of...

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I switched my colors, but the one person I wanted to switch wouldn’t.

DAMN those stubborn pawns in the corner!

Avari wrote:

You know that war that's been tearing apart the Wizarding world? Actually, it's just like a giant game of Capture the flag.

Harry's friends are Blue Team.

Luna is Caboose.

This makes "Chocobo Nights" sound like Pulitzer Prize material.

fishstickhater wrote:

Who started the "Draco/Lucius/Harry/other random male is a Veela and so he will inevitably be driven crazy by lust until he finds his mate" craze anyway?
And why is the mate usually male?

I'm pretty sure the Veela "logic" goes like this:

Veelas have silvery blond hair; they are narcissistic bitches.
Draco has silvery blond hair; he is a narcissistic little bitch, too.
Fleur has sheets of silvery blond hair.
She says she is part Veela.
Therefore Draco is part Veela.

I'm not surprised it messed around with weak minds, as all that happens within a relatively short space in *Goblet of Fire.*

This completely screws around with the fact that the only part Veela we ever get to know marries a Weasley, and that a Malfoy would never have married a Veela, for the same reason they wouldn't marry a goblin, a giant, or a troll: they would be half-breeds. And Malfoys (and their relations the Blacks) are obsessed with purity of blood: the Black family motto is "Toujours Pur." In other words, no frickin' way. Weasleys, on the other hand, are blood traitors who marry just any old how for *snort* LUVVVE, and they make friends with ikky people like part-giants and part-Veelas and werewolves and stuff.

But that wouldn't be romannnntic.

No, I'd wager not.

moonyprof wrote:

Weasleys, on the other hand, are blood traitors who marry just any old how for *snort* LUVVVE, and they make friends with ikky people like part-giants and part-Veelas and werewolves and stuff.

But that wouldn't be romannnntic.

Come to think of it, the whole "mating bond" thing probably does seem a romantic idea to the kids when you consider that most of them probably think a disturbed vampire breaking into his future girlfriend's bedroom to watch her sleep is romantic.

There's a scary thought.