Why God, Why?


 
HomeHome  FAQFAQ  RegisterRegister  Log in  

Share | 
 

 The Hooded Nightmare!

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
WD40
Knight of the Bleach
Knight of the Bleach
avatar

Join date : 2010-02-15
Age : 37
Location : land of broken dreams

PostSubject: The Hooded Nightmare!    Mon Jan 28, 2013 2:14 pm

Quote :
Tobias al Ghul
Yeah

Here we go, folks. A dive into the Arkham Asylum/City fanfic section and we get this beauty:Hooded Nightmare

So. Batman and Talia had a kid together called Damien Wayne Tobias al Ghul. And…

Quote :
he was by far the most destructive.

Quote :
He cared little for people and often found himself calculating how many he would kill to get what he wanted, or to have the sweet taste of revenge.

Why?

Simple question. Why is he so angry? How long has he been like this? Was there a significant event that triggered behaviour that caused, for example, this:

Quote :
He was thrown out by his grandfather and banished from the League of Assassins for talking against him...

Or was he just a jerk right out of the womb? That’s a possibility considering:

Quote :
he would often note to himself how his mother had not spoke for him and begged for him to stay,

Well… So, let’s get to know our Mary-Sue Du Badfic: Toby.

Quote :
it was only due to his skill in battle that he had escaped with his life. Obviously he was the less desired son – his whole existence had been erased from the books and now he thirsted for revenge.

As well as being destructive, the child also had an extremely high intelligence and a devious way of getting around the law. He was very tech-savvy, much like his father, whom he also hated.

I suppose Batman is a mary sue. So if Suishness is genetic, there is an agreement for why Toby gets to be one.

Quote :
You see, after Talia had given birth to him, she had neglected to tell the crusader he had a son. Ra's al Ghul wished for him to become his successor, but until he could convince the hero to defect to his cause

Correct me if I’m wrong, My DC-fu is not nearly as on par with my Marvel-fu, but Ra’s doesn’t want Bats to be his successor, that would mean admitting that he is likely to die. No. Ra’s want’s bats to be his subordinate.

Quote :
he ordered his daughter to keep her son on a need-to-know basis. Instead of telling Tobias the truth, they lied and said Batman had long ago turned his back on them.

So, he comes from a broken home? Is that why he’s a jerk?

Quote :
However he considered his exile a blessing in disguise. For a long time he found his grandfathers methods outdated

Outdated? Seriously? Ra’s has been developing and focusing on his theory of “genocide for the good of society”, and it’s not the concept that Toby has a problem, but that it’s an old theory?

Quote :
so he now aimed to keep his own techniques, a mutated form of the training he had received. Brief stays in Arkham Asylum perfected these unique styles and made him a deadly foe to go against,

Oh. It’ not so much as Toby has a new, Neo-Genocide political view. It’s just that the Author is too dumb to realise Ra’s’ motivation, and has just simplified him down to “an assassin”.

“ although you could always tell when Tobias had been at a crime scene as he would leave a small heart-shaped shard of metal wherever he had sat.”

Ummmm… Symbolism? His heart is there his ass is?

Quote :
It was his way of telling them that he was always watching, no matter what they tried to do, no matter where they tried to run, he would always be one step ahead of them with two eyes trained.

And nothing conveys this more than a heart-shaped shard of metal in a buttock depression.

So. Toby’s mission in life is to kill his family. Batman first, then Talia and then, presumably Ra’s. It is not clear at the point if Toby knows about the Lazarus pit, or if the author has remembered them.

Talia tells Bats about Toby.

Quote :
She had long been weighted by her guilt, telling her ex-lover how his son had adopted to a villainous attitude,

*Sniff* I only raised him as an assassin! A murderer bent on cleansing the world of people we arbitrarily deem worthless or detrimental to society as part of a massive plan to work the world up in a fit of near-self-genocide because that’s what we have decided the world needs thanks to our guidance by a quasi-immortal nutter. BUT I NEVER THOUGHT HE’D BECOME A VILLAN! *sob*

Quote :
people knew him as the "Hooded Nightmare," an extremely skilled child that Bruce had deduced was his son.

It only took a confession from Talia. Truly, the world’s greatest detective.

That’s Chapter 1. On to Chapter 2:

Quote :
Tobias had been thrown in Arkham City as soon as it was opened, and he was keeping himself away from all the other thugs.

Huh?

How? Who caught him? Why wasn’t he confronted by Bats as soon as he was caught?

Quote :
The super criminals, such as Joker and the Penguin, were battling for control in the City

OI! Seriously! You’ve just told us that not even Batman can track this guy down at the end of chapter 1. Look:

Quote :
However, [Batman] had never encountered the boy for long enough to ask him, or even begin to redeem himself, instead when they met Tobias would attack him on sight and then make an agile escape. It was very frustrating, as Talia had taught her son to make his tracks almost untraceable, and his footsteps quiet.

We go from that. THAT to “Tobias had been thrown in Arkham City as soon as it was opened,”.

What gives?

Nothing?

Well… Okay…

Quote :
The snow fell delicately over the dirty rooftops as Tobias ran along them. He held his two daggers, specially crafted so they could slice into anything in nothing flat, and his hood fit cosily on his head. He wore a thick outfit to keep himself warm whilst the criminals around him suffered and caught hypothermia. If he felt any sympathy, any human emotions for the people around him, he might have offered them his source of clean clothing, but he did not want them to all murder the political prisoners and steal their coats. Besides, it was more fun to watch them turn blue.

Oh god. This passage. Ugh.

1, What else are daggers designed for?

2, If he really was raised by the League of Assassins, then he’s been brought up in an environment that deliberately crushes any sense of sympathy for other people. So telling us he feels no sympathy is pretty redundant.

3, Also – this statement: “If he felt any sympathy, any human emotions for the people around him, he might have offered them his source of clean clothing, but he did not want them to all murder the political prisoners and steal their coats.”. Can anyone break this one down for me? Also, it’s not just the “political prisoners” who are at the mercy of bullies. But that’s what you get when you can’t expand your interpretation beyond the labels provided by video-game side-quests.

Toby evesdrops on a couple of thugs running through a triggered conversation:

Quote :
"I swear, if Joker didn't want me to find this bloody kid for him, I'd be inside right now! Letting us grunts freeze," muttered a heavyset man wearing an orange prison suit and holding an AK47. His friend nodded beside him and the Hooded Nightmare halted immediately, his feet aching slightly, and looked down to see the minion.

"Why the Hell would he want to see the Nightmare?"

“What would our boss, a psychotic mass-murderer, want with a rogue assassin who is good enough to put the shits up Batman? I just can’t understand it, Joe. I really can’t.”

Toby introduces himself and demands to know why Joker is after him. He is told, surprising no one, that it’s to do with Batman.

Quote :
The child's blood began to boil.

Good point… How old is Toby? I mean… He was born in the intro. He became a jerk and now he’s on his own. He could still be a toddler for all we know.

Hmmmm….

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Quote :
He clenched his fists and bit his lip at the mention of, "the bat". Why was his father here? Couldn't the "amazing" Batman be somewhere else, making someone else's night a misery?

What the fuck is Batman, a vigilante concerned primarily with street violence in Gotham City, doing in a section of Gotham City that has been repurposed as a walled-off crime ghetto? I just don’t understand this guy!

Quote :
"I will go...but first," with a lightning quick strike, the Hooded Nightmare pinned one of the men to the ground and placed his dagger against his throat. For a moment, Tobias lost himself, and all he could hear was his blood pumping steadily through his ears. He felt almost like Zsasz, driven by his need for death and blood, not caring whether he killed hundreds or thousands. But he did not say that he had been sent by God, he simply enjoyed death.

Erm… Being tasked to kill by God is Azrael’s deal. (That’s why Batman figured he’d be such a great replacement during Knightfall. Yeah. Bat’s can be an idiot sometimes too). In fact “simply enjoying death/killing very much IS mr.Zsasz’s deal.

Quote :
"Please, let me go, don't hurt me!" The criminal begged as he slowly dragged the knife across his neck, not penetrating it, but given a nice graze. His voice snapped him out of his trance, and he nodded, getting off of him.

"Remind everyone that I'm not a nice boy," he sneered, "And I will kill anyone

Because people need reminding of that?

Oy. Chapters 1 and 2 done, folks.

There’s 28 of these things to go.
Back to top Go down
Reepicheep-chan
Important Person
Important Person
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 31
Location : IN A SEXY NEW CONDO

PostSubject: Re: The Hooded Nightmare!    Mon Jan 28, 2013 2:42 pm

Quote :
Correct me if I’m wrong, My DC-fu is not nearly as on par with my Marvel-fu, but Ra’s doesn’t want Bats to be his successor, that would mean admitting that he is likely to die. No. Ra’s want’s bats to be his subordinate.
During Ra's first apprarence in the DCAU he was concerned that the pits were not going to work forever and tried to get Batman to agree to be his heir for some time before giving up on it. Most of the DCAU plots about Ra's revolved around the Lazarus Pit losing effectivness and Ra's inability to deal with losing his immortality.

Wong continuity, I guess, but that may be where that idea came from.
Back to top Go down
bleachedblackcat
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-11

PostSubject: Re: The Hooded Nightmare!    Mon Jan 28, 2013 7:29 pm

"Hey! You know what'd be awesome? To make Jason and Damian into one person and make it for no reason! Plus he kills for FUN! People will eat that up!"

I like Jason and Damian, but part of it is the whole 'past making them who they are' and 'being conflicted' bits. You know, the things that this guy doesn't have.
Back to top Go down
Reepicheep-chan
Important Person
Important Person
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 31
Location : IN A SEXY NEW CONDO

PostSubject: Re: The Hooded Nightmare!    Tue Jan 29, 2013 9:26 am

^ This amuses me because I do not like (or give give two shits about) Damian in the first place, why would I give half a shit about his Mary Sue knock-off?
Back to top Go down
WD40
Knight of the Bleach
Knight of the Bleach
avatar

Join date : 2010-02-15
Age : 37
Location : land of broken dreams

PostSubject: Re: The Hooded Nightmare!    Sat Feb 02, 2013 2:56 pm

Having ended the last chapter with Toby being super-awesome-badass, we start chapter 3 with… Toby scrounging in the dustbins for food.

Quote :
In the silent streets of Arkham City, a young hooded boy searched for food amongst the rubbish. Tobias had been hungry since he was thrown in here, but now the effects of it had started to show, and he refused to go in front of Joker with any trace of vulnerability on his face.

Two things: 1, I think we actually are dealing with a child here and 2, I’ll repeat: Who caught Toby and threw him in here. Also, if we are dealing with a minor, and I don’t think Toby is supposed to be over 16, why is he in Arkham City in the first place.

Sure, the place is corrupt as all hell, and its very concept is a crime against humanity (a fact kindly ignored by the populous of the DC universe, but hay-ho comics/videogames) But even then, I can’t see Warden/Mayor Sharpe throwing kids in there…

Quote :
His stomach rumbled as he dug deeper into the foul smelling cans and he tried to hold back the urge to vomit. He was a highly skilled assassin, for God's sake! Why did he have to bury his way into filth for food when people like Bruce Wayne or Jack Ryder got to sit in giant houses and eat their gourmet meals? He had more ability in his little finger than both of them combined!

Good fucking question, Author. Why don’t you tell me?

Go on. Tell me. Why is your super-assassin uber-badass such a fuckup that he got caught, is piss poor and is living off the streets scraping week-old banana peels off the floor for lunch? Tell me!

The League of Shadows isn’t hurting for money, and if Toby is half as good as you say he is then when he left, he must have had a contact to start working for, or at least a briefcase full of cash, so… Why? Is he really that stupid?

Quote :
He started to noiselessly run through the street, noting that it had begun to snow now. Was Mister Freeze in Arkham too? Or was it just a sudden change in weather?
Oh for fucks sake… Winter in Gotham is harsh. We know this. Why jump to the conclusion that Freeze is here? When has Freeze EVER made his presence felt by altering the weather? For fucks sake there’s “genre awareness” and then there’s “Having a Meta-Strategy Guide”.

Quote :
Although he had a home, it was shabby and the windows were broken. He had a simple mattress, flat as cardboard, and no blanket. His blanket-like hood and cape would serve him as a cover, but he still felt the pricks of cold.

He used mirrors to reflect the spotlight's along the guard wall and give him some sight; there was a locked door in his home that he had never had any interest in opening. He assumed most of the draft came from there as it was noisy beyond the splintered entrance, like wind whistling through a window pane, and light shone from the empty bit of space underneath it. He had no wish to know what was in there exactly; he would never need the extra room.

He is that thick isn’t he? He’s not the greatest assassin in Gotham, he’s the most deluded. WHY WOULD YOU NOT CHECK OUT EVERY ROOM IN YOUR OWN HOME?
Quote :
Tobias uncomfortably shifted from his back to his left side, and felt the longing to murder someone creeping through his mind. He wanted desperately to kill someone no one would miss, another death under his belt that he could thank his expert skills for.
Yes, because that is how assassins gain their reputation. Through mindless, pointless murders.

Quote :
Strange had told him he was "disturbed" and was very curious in his roots, asking him how the League had raised him.

“Badly”

Quote :
He was rather persistent about it; even going as far too put the young boy in electro-shock therapy and recording their encounters.

But after receiving nothing from the Hooded Nightmare, Hugo had soon lost interest and just sent him in, telling TYGER that he was simply a disturbed child that needed to have his weapons confiscated.

But they did not take them. Instead they had been completely disinterested in his daggers which allowed him to sneak them past and be functional within the prison, and that was all he asked.

So. Fucking. Stupid.

Quote :
Slowly, he felt his eyes begin to shut and his ears began to pick up any sound of hostiles. There was no one close, except maybe Catwoman who had a flat somewhere along the next row of accommodations,

HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THIS?

Quote :
Tobias was awakened by a loud sudden noise. He hadn't been asleep long – twenty minutes at the most – and the moon still dangled high in the sky. He deduced it had been a gunshot, although he was not sure what type of gun could have made such an explosion...maybe Deadshot was in the City?

Fuck off! Jesus, Toby, can you not at least make a single broad assumption instead of going straight to the fucking walkthrough! THERE ARE HELECOPERS WITH MOUNTED ROCKET LAUNCHERS AND MACHINE GUNS PROWLING THE FUCKING CITY could it not possibly be one of them before you assume it’s a criminal who has decided to, for some reason, enter Arkham city, has somehow kept his guns.

Quote :
But the Nightmare was glad; his skin had turned a faint shade of blue from the cold as he had forgotten to drape the blanket over himself, and he needed to get moving if he was to make the appointment with Joker. Deadshot's assassination contract had served the perfect alarm clock.

Fuck you.

Quote :
Getting up from his uncomfortable mattress, he collected two heart shards and walked up to the broken window.

Hay, Toby, you’re in the wrong game. Four heart shards gets you a full heart in the Zelda franchise. You’re supposed to be in Batman.

If anyone has an idea what the fuck "heart shards" are, please let me know, because these things are not mentioned again, at least not in this chapter.

Buy hay, I suppose I should be thankful he's not picking up fucking Riddler Trophies.

Quote :
The Funland was about ten minutes away, minus the trouble he would run into with the other criminals, and he would also have to travel over water. He would turn into a block of ice if he tried to swim, he was not a glider, and he did not have special gadgets to help him swing over it. How could he possibly make it there in this weather?

You’re not Batman, we get it. You can always walk. Evidently there is a way to and from the place, because you were just speaking to two goons who came from there.

Quote :
He put on his hood and cape and flipped out of the window, landing perfectly on the ground below. His hand almost froze at its icy touch, almost immediately his teeth started chattering. Mister Freeze must have been responsible for this – Not even Mother Nature could be so unkind!

Gotham is based on New York. New York has nasty winters. Gotham has nasty winters. This is not a thing that Mr. Freezze does, nor would it be something that he would do because IT WOULD GIVE HIM THE FUCK AWAY!

Quote :
A smile stretched on his face as he imagined how Poison Ivy would be reacting to this cold weather.

Oh fuck off.

Quote :
TYGER guards were roaming the streets, beating thugs who got out of hand.
Why? Why the fuck would TYGER guards be in Arkham City? That’s exactly the opposite of the point of Gotham City.
Quote :
His legs ached like they were frozen at the joints; he felt like he was breaking them with every step he took. What if he caught pneumonia? How would he be able to make his hit-man deadlines if he had that?

Finally, Bats shows up.

Quote :
"Hooded Nightmare, stop!" the crusader shouted, "I want to talk to you!"
Tobias felt his hand grip one of his daggers hidden under his hood/cape. He bit his lip. Rage was now circling his body and the thought of his original predicament had left his mind completely. He heard Batman glide almost silently through the air, and land behind him. He was now biting so hard he could taste blood.

"Nightmare, come with me, we can get you help for your trauma. Actual help, you don't belong in Arkham!" The Dark Knight said, walking up to his son with his hand outstretched. Tobias was losing himself again; he could hear the blood rushing through his ears.
Bats is right. This is no place for Children.

Toby decides “Fuck it” and just charges in…

Quote :
With one quick motion, two daggers flew out of the Nightmare's belt and slashed out at his father's extended hand. Two straight cut wounds had been sliced through the glove, and Bruce retracted it quickly with a slight whimper of pain. The boy wasted no time – he flew at the man with weapons readied and his soul crying out for violence. Finally, the thrill of battle was becoming known to him again.

The fight doesn’t last long as Bats drops a smokebomb and flies off.

Toby leaves us with a cliffhanger.

Quote :
"Too afraid to face me?" he shouted, "Too afraid to stare me in the eyes? I will find you Batman, mark my words – Your blood will wash my boots!"

That’s a really bad idea… Blood is all sticky and nasty and not really very good at all for washing stuff.

More soon.
Back to top Go down
Reepicheep-chan
Important Person
Important Person
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 31
Location : IN A SEXY NEW CONDO

PostSubject: Re: The Hooded Nightmare!    Mon Feb 04, 2013 9:41 am

Quote :
But the Nightmare was glad; his skin had turned a faint shade of blue from the cold as he had forgotten to drape the blanket over himself,

I am not a doctor or anything, but I am p sure by the time your skin turns blue you are Not Ok.

And he forgot to to get under a blanket? What?
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: The Hooded Nightmare!    

Back to top Go down
 
The Hooded Nightmare!
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Brettonian hooded heads
» Timer´s Nightmare (Frank Ehling) 1942
» George Clooney's $220 million wedding "nightmare" - The Enquirer
» A CAR SALESMAN'S NIGHTMARE!
» Possessed Warband Alternate Figures?

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Why God, Why? :: The Sporking Table :: New Releases-
Jump to: