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 Nightmare is right: an Avengers Mad Libs masquerading as a fic

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EileenK98
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PostSubject: Nightmare is right: an Avengers Mad Libs masquerading as a fic   Mon May 06, 2013 12:34 pm

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Hi! This is my first ever fanfic on here, so please be nice. Well, you don't have to but much appreciated. Anyway, like the title says, this is a reader x Loki fanfiction. I will upload this onto other site once I get the chance. God I suck at summerys. .-. Rated T. Might be taken up to M in some places.

You suck at spelling, too.

Welcome to A beautiful nightmare, which is well-named.

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Hi! ^_^ This is my first avengers fanfiction and the first time I have ever posted on here, so I would like some constructive critisism. There is a mention of Torchwood in this story because I can. Razz Technically its not a crossover, because Torchwood only gets mentioned once or twice. This is set during the movie and before Mirical day/ Children of earth. Sorry if I get my facts about Torchwood wrong, it's been a while since I watched it last.

Mirical? scratch

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This is a Reader x loki fanfiction, so if you don't like, don't read. Simple as.

For those of you following at home, we have one "I suck at summaries" and one "Don't like, don't read." Please mark your cards.

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(H/C)= Hair colour (E/C)= Eye colour (H/L)= Hair lenght (F/N)= First name (L/N)= Last name

You'll see the reason for this in a moment.

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"Agent (L/N)! Stop daydreaming AND GET BACK TO WORK!" You snapped out of your daydream and looked towards Director Fury, who was striding torwards you. "Yes, Director Fury." You say, pushing a strand of your (H/L) (H/C) hair out of your face.

Dear author, if you're having trouble finding a name for your character, use an online generator. Anything but this. It looks ridiculous.

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Jeez Clint, I wish you would warn me when you're going to do that." You reply, faking laughter."And yes, I am going back tomorrow." He frowned slightly at your reply. "(F/N), why didn't you say?" he muttered slightly.

And please pick a tense.

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You were suddenly jerked out of your daydream again by a sudden cry and a buzz of energy from the tesseract. You saw a portal open and a man appear from the other side.

And . . . enter Loki. Who of course is immediately love-struck, as is our heroine (reader).

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He spotted you out of the corner of his eye and teleported behind you and grabbed your arms, causing you to drop your clipboard. "Ah ah ah, thought you could sneak up on me, did you?" he purred down your ear. "I like that." You twisted your head towards the man, taking in his profile. He was incredibly good looking, in a strange way. His long black hair was slicked back behind his head, cheekbones visible and his blue eyes staring into your (E/C) ones.

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"I am Loki, of Asgard. Your true future king. And you are?" he said, with a smirk on his face. When you hesitated, he tossed you to the ground, clearly frustrated. "MORTAL! I SAID, YOU WILL TELL ME YOUR NAME!" he snarled, his face barley inches away from yours.

"I don't have one! I'm not even a self-insert! I'm just a blank space the author created for the reader to project her fantasies on!"
Assuming, of course, that the reader is a female.

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"Well, (F/N) I can tell you are going to be useful,no need to hide behid the mask of a weakling." he chuckled to himself darkly. And before you knew it, he brought the tip of his sceptre to your chest. And the last thing on your mind was him.

So Loki takes Miss Nameless away with him. Why? We don't know.

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You were in a room, with Loki. Your head buzzed with different emotions. Fear, worry and exitment. What was he going to do to you?

Why would she care, if she's been mind-controlled?

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Loki slinked towards you, his movements reminding you of a cat. "So, (F/N), tell me about yourself." he whispered into your ear, shoving you down onto the bed. you smiled as Loki positioned hiself infront of you.

Not on the first date, buddy!

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Just then, Clint burst through the door. "Oh, for for goddness sake Barton, what is it?" Loki yelled, getting up. "Sorry Loki, but you need to see this." Loki turned back to you clearly annoyed. "I am sorry (F/N), but this needs my attention." he turned and left, leaving you alone in the room.

"Damn you, Clint, I was about to score!"

That's all there is for now, and hopefully, that's all there will be. Two reviews, but they're both by the same person, probably a friend of the author.

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Mouse
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PostSubject: Re: Nightmare is right: an Avengers Mad Libs masquerading as a fic   Mon May 06, 2013 5:51 pm

And I thought nothing could be lazier than descriptions that consist of "looks like Elisha Dusku." I was wrong.
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Kakashifan727
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PostSubject: Re: Nightmare is right: an Avengers Mad Libs masquerading as a fic   Mon May 06, 2013 9:34 pm

Yeah, this is just lazy and bad. It'll probably be removed anyways.
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Summercorn
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PostSubject: Re: Nightmare is right: an Avengers Mad Libs masquerading as a fic   Tue May 07, 2013 9:28 am

Great snark, Eileen. I admit, I laughed.

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I would like some constructive critisism.

Get a spell checker if you cannot be bothered to learn to spell.

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"MORTAL! I SAID, YOU WILL TELL ME YOUR NAME!" he snarled, his face barley inches away from yours.

Loki has face barley? What the hell is that? Why has the author got it too? You know, just as a bit of constructive criticism, everyone that Loki met after going through the Tesseract portal was 'mortal',(excepting Thor). He never referred to anyone like that. Indeed, he said to Thor, 'the human's think us immortal'.

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And before you knew it, he brought the tip of his sceptre to your chest. And the last thing on your mind was him.

'I've got more important things to think about than you, Loki dear.'

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Fear, worry and exitment. What was he going to do to you?

Let's all hope he'll teach you how to spell excitement.

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Loki slinked towards you, his movements reminding you of a cat.

He stopped halfway across the floor to lick his arsehole.

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"So, (F/N), tell me about yourself." he whispered into your ear, shoving you down onto the bed. you smiled as Loki positioned hiself infront of you.

Loki is coming across here as sounding like the Lucy Liubot from Futurama.

This girl smiles as Loki positions his elf in front of her?! I've never heard it called that before. 'I am Loki, of Asgard. Excuse me while I whip my little elf out.'


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bleachedblackcat
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PostSubject: Re: Nightmare is right: an Avengers Mad Libs masquerading as a fic   Tue May 07, 2013 10:43 am

Oh wow, and here I thought fanfic writers couldn't get more lazy. At least freaking dating games give you a hair and eye color.

... not that I would know about those or anything. Nope, not at all.

Also, love the mind controlling rape! Because it's not really rape if she's being mind controlled into liking it, right? But she still gets to keep her good girl card because she was being mind controlled!
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Reepicheep-chan
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PostSubject: Re: Nightmare is right: an Avengers Mad Libs masquerading as a fic   Tue May 07, 2013 11:18 am

What if you tell the fic your hair has been buzzed? What then?

Man why is self insert fanfic so exclusive :c
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Chris91
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PostSubject: Re: Nightmare is right: an Avengers Mad Libs masquerading as a fic   Sat May 11, 2013 5:15 pm

Self-inserts are the Three Mile Islands of fanfic-- a disaster waiting to happen.
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Penguin
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PostSubject: Re: Nightmare is right: an Avengers Mad Libs masquerading as a fic   Sun May 12, 2013 3:32 am

Chris91 wrote:
Self-inserts are the Three Mile Islands of fanfic


Mostly harmless?

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a disaster waiting to happen.

And this is why we can't have nice things energy independence.
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Summercorn
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PostSubject: Re: Nightmare is right: an Avengers Mad Libs masquerading as a fic   Mon May 13, 2013 5:43 am

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you spin around and see Clint standing behind you with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face.

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"Let him go!" you yelled, rushing towards him, only to see the man smirk and place the tip of the sceptre he was holding meet Clint's chest

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"I am Loki, of Asgard. Your true future king. And you are?" he said, with a smirk on his face.

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You smirked and started to tell him everything.

What is it with fanbrats and the word 'smirk'? What about sneered for a change? Chuckle, chortle, snicker, sardonic grin?

What we need is a no smirking zone. Wink

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You were a Torchwood agent, but you were sent by Jack to S.H.I.E.L.D around a year ago and about a week ago you were one of the people to moniter the energy coming from the tesseract.

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You saw that he had done the same to a another person working on the tesseract. Selving, you think his name was.

Stellan Skarsgård played Erik Selvig in Thor and Avengers. It's nice to know that Jack sent over an agent who has been monitoring the energy coming from the Tesseract for a week and doesn't know the name of the scientist heading up the project to, well, to monitor the energy from the Tesseract.

Come on author, it's not like the stone age, where we had to fast forward through a whole VHS video and freeze the frame to see the credits. I double checked Selvig, because I wasn't sure of the spelling, or the first name of the character and the whole thing took about half a minute on the IMDb.
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